In Sickness and In Health
by BlueBlood82
Summary: In this sequel to Tough, Jamie and Eddie face a major budget crisis, a family feud, their daughter's wedding, and another major health crisis. Can their bond withstand the strain? Does Eddie have what it takes to weather another medical storm? Can the Reagans keep their vow of in sickness and in health?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

 **This story assumes Jamie to be about 25 at the start of the series and that Eddie is three years younger than he is. Jamie married Eddie about then end of season six, approximately March of 2016. Joey was born four years later and Lila four years after him.**

 **I'm not sure if it works out mathematically, but I love Frank and didn't want to write this without him in it, so we assume he is about 92 years old. Danny is approximately 70 and Erin about 67. Joey is 24 and Lila is 20. The story Tough, took place between August of 2027 and May of 2028.**

 **Special Thanks to Lawslave for reviewing this story every step of the way and offering me her expertise as a Jamko writer.**

Reagan Family Home

Bay Ridge, Brooklyn

June, 2044

Jamie!" Eddie called when she heard the kitchen door slam shut. "Don't be banging the door, I have bread rising!"

Eddie had been hard at work all day. They were playing host that night for Lila's boyfriend, Steve's graduation from the FDNY academy that evening. It was sticking in Jamie's craw having to do this for a smoke eater, but it was also for his little girl.

"Okay," he replied loosening his tie and dropping his heavy briefcase on the floor. Eddie hurried in from the living room where she had been cleaning up for the party. "Your father is trying to sleep upstairs, can you keep the noise level down?" she scolded again.

Jamie ignored her admonishment and pulled her in for a hug, "I missed you today, Detective Reagan," he whispered. "I had to handle my own schedule; it's a miracle I got here on time."

"Well, someone had to get the house ready and Lila had classes. She's on the train back now." Eddie laid her head on Jamie's chest. Since he'd become the PC a year ago, she had been his right hand at the office. His father had advised he needed someone as strong willed as he was and as intelligent as well. For Jamie, Frank admitted that was hard to find. He'd had Baker at his side and he never regretted that. Jamie had chosen Eddie for that job, she did it at home, she could do it at 1 PP.

After Eddie's bout with breast cancer, she had chosen not to return to work until Lila was in high school. It was incredibly hard to get reinstated but then Commissioner Gormley pulled the strings required as a favor to Jamie, his then right hand. Eddie quickly made a name for herself and flew through the ranks. When Gormley retired and threw Jamie's name in the ring as his successor, Eddie was primed and ready for taking over the huge shoes left by Abigail Baker after her own retirement that same year.

"I know, and I do know you would much rather be a homemaker and take care of Dad than be working with me," Jamie sighed. "But I love you for doing it anyway."

Eddie pulled back, "How did the meeting go with the Mayor?" she asked. They were in a fiscal crisis, again.

"It went," he sighed. "We can't see eye to eye. There are deal breakers on both sides. It looks like if I want to keep my stress training and the mental health training I have to freeze wages and benefits at their current levels."

Eddie poured Jamie a glass of iced tea, "Drink this…it's blueberry, very calming." She had gone full on holistic after her cancer, but she had not had a recurrence or even a scare in thirteen years, so perhaps there was something to it.

He took the tea cup and sipped the cool liquid as Eddie busied herself with setting up dishes and plates for the family meal later that night. "I was asked by Commissioner Haydn to sit with him on the stage tonight but I think no, I think I'll sit with my beautiful wife."

"You do what you need to do," Eddie told him. "If an alliance with the Commissioner will make your life easier then you sit up there and you smile."

Ever since Jamie took the job as the PC, he'd been under the gun. Their son Joey had finished his third year on patrol and was in line for a promotion to Detective Third Grade when Jamie's appointment went through. That effectively derailed his fast track, considering Jamie felt that his son's promotion should not be his first official act as PC. That had caused a few battles but things seemed to be okay now.

"I think I can enjoy the ceremony more from the audience…"

Jamie finished his tea, "Let me run and take a shower. Did you pick up my dress uniform from…?" Before he finished the question he saw it hanging on the door. "I should have known better."

Jamie went up the steps and peaked in on his dad. Frank had taken the room that once belonged to Henry when he had gotten too old to be alone. Danny and Linda were content in their Staten Island home, so it fell to Jamie to carry on another tradition.

Frank was still resting so Jamie headed to the bathroom and jumped into the warm spray. He loved his family, he loved his life, but sometimes the stress and strain of being the PC was overwhelming.

The hot water felt good on tense muscles, when Jamie stepped out he felt refreshed. He heard his father's voice downstairs and his wife's delicate laughter. Jamie threw on some sweats and head down. Lila had arrived a few minutes ago. "Mom the house looks amazing. Where's Dad?"

"Dad's right here," Jamie replied going to hug his little girl. "You know how much your mom and I must love you to be hosting this shindig right?"

Lila laughed, "It's not my fault I fell in love with him, Daddy. You told me you can't control who you fall in love with cause if you could, you and Mom would never have fallen in love."

Jamie laughed, she always used that card. "I did say that…" He reached over Eddie's shoulder and took a bite of the dip she was stirring. "Oh honey, that is so good…" He kissed her head. "That goes with the bread?"

"Yes and the caterers will set up. Linda is going to be here to supervise that so we can see the graduation."

Lila smiled, her favorite thing about her family was how the always had each other's back no matter what. Her parents had been supportive of her relationship with Steven even though he was in the fireman's academy and even though she was still in college. She knew it was rough on her Dad to see her growing up so fast but she loved him anyway.

"Danny is coming with us and Jack is already at the venue, he's supervising the security given the Mayor, the PC, and the Fire Commissioner will all be in one place at one time," Jamie reported. "Sometimes I feel like the President traveling around with so much security, I'd rather you have the protective detail not me."

Eddie sighed, "I am not the man in charge of 40,000 police officers. You are and sometimes that means you have to make unpopular decisions."

"Jamie, remember what I told you when you took your oath…you do this job with your head, not your heart. If I did it with my heart, you would have made detective the first year, Danny never would have been in another jam, and neither one of you would have been in harm's way. You can't feel your way through…use your perspective."

Jamie nodded at his father's sage advice. "When is Joey getting here? I thought we were all going over together."

Before Eddie answered, the door opened and shut again. Their son Joseph appeared in his dress uniform, "Mom you made your dip…" He loved Eddie's bacon honey mustard dip.

"I did, I know how much you like it," Eddie replied but slapped his hand away when he tried to taste it. "There will be plenty later, don't mess your uniform. It's almost time to go."

Jamie held Frank's arm as they headed to the SUV that was now his main ride. Jamie missed driving himself and his family places under his own power, this was just one of many sacrifices he made at commissioner. Frank was still remarkably spry for his ninety-two years. He napped more often and used a can for balance but all in all he was doing great and would live a good many more years guiding his family. "Commissioners," Jamie's driver greeted as they got into the car and headed over the bridge to the ceremony in the City.

As Jamie watched the next class of New York's Bravest take their oath to serve he observed his own family. To his right was Eddie, always at his side since the day he met her outside the twelfth. The years had done nothing to diminish her beauty. The medications that she had taken over the years to prevent a recurrence of her cancer had put a few extra pounds on her and she had cut her trademark blonde locks into a short more wavy style, but Jamie still loved her as much as the day he first kissed her outside her building. Their youngest child, Lila sat at her side. She was the image of her mother, blonde curls, bright blue eyes, but she had Jamie's 1000 watt smile that lit her entire face when she bestowed it upon someone. She'd been doing that a lot over the last year since she met Steve that made Jamie just a bit nervous.

On Lila's other side was Joey. They had, since he'd become a police officer, taken to calling him Joe, but to Jamie and Eddie, he'd always be their sweet little boy, their first born son. He too favored his mother in look as well as in temperament. While Jamie was quick to take offense he was also quick to forgive. Joey would let it simmer and fester, he carried a grudge. He was carrying one against Jamie for a year now, but lately he seemed to be coming around.

Danny sat on Joey's right. He had celebrated his 70th birthday not very long ago. He looked great for his age and all he'd put his body and his mind through in 40 years on the job. There was no prouder moment in Danny's life as a father than when Jamie named Jack as his Chief of Department. He hadn't had that long a time on the job, but flew through the ranks with remarkable speed on his own merits. Jamie wanted someone he trusted to be at his side. Danny's marriage to Linda was strong as ever. Jamie didn't think he'd ever find a marriage that worked better than his parents until Danny and Linda and now his marriage to Eddie.

His dad sat at the far end. Frank was 92 years old but still a formidable presence for the family. When things weren't' going well for any one of them they could still go to him for love and support. Jamie was so glad that he had his father's guidance in his life. Becoming commissioner was never a dream of his, Chief of D's was but here he was. He stood holding Eddie's arm as the processional began, Jamie was still very solicitous of her and treated her like a gentleman especially in public.

This year's class wasn't that big, only about 50 cadets were graduating so the ceremony was short and sweet. Steve's last name was Tenney so he was near the back of the pack when it came to getting his credentials.

He found Lila even before finding his friends. Jamie found it pretty sad his parents didn't come to see him graduate. Steven took her in his arms and kissed her deeply. "My mom and dad have a party at the house for you and we've invited a few of your classmates like I promised." Lila slid her arms around his shoulders and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you, Mrs. Reagan, Commissioner Reagan," Steven said to Eddie and Jamie as Eddie hugged him offering her congratulations. "It seems like yesterday it was you, Joe, from the police academy, but no one is perfect. And how many times do I have to ask you to call me Eddie."

Steven smiled at her then turned to Jamie, "Jamie, I'd like to have a word with you back at the house and Mr. Reagan too."

"That's Commissioner Reagan to you,' Jamie corrected. This smoke eater was far too touchy feely with his little girl and now he wanted to have a word with him and Frank alone. That felt too scary and too familiar. "Yes, I have a few minutes to speak to you."

Steve was scared now and Lila was shocked, "Dad, we've been dating for a year, why are you being like that? Mom do something."

Eddie gave Lila a reassuring look. Jamie was like this with all of Lila's boyfriends. He didn't think anyone was good enough for his little girl.

On the ride home, Lila rode with Steven giving Eddie a change to talk to Jamie. "What the Hell was that Reagan?" she asked in the SUV. "That boy was very nice to you, he's always been polite to use both and you just shot him down. That wasn't fair."

"He wants to talk to me and Dad alone at the house later," Jamie told her. "Which only means he needs money of some kind. That's just not the right way to go about it."

"It could mean he's going to propose," Frank piped up. "You went to see Eddie's father in prison to ask for her hand."

"Dad, they've only been together a year and Lila is still in school, they are far too young to get married. Far too young, he'd never even think of that fresh out of the academy."

"Don't be so sure, Jamie," Eddie sighed. 'They've been together over a year and I can tell she is in love with him. IF that is what tonight is about…you know what you need to do, I want to let you sleep in the bed tonight."

Jamie had his marching orders now, Eddie rarely spoke like that, they usually made their decisions together and talked about all their parenting choices, so for her to make it almost an order he knew how serious she was and he knew the only acceptable answer to her demand, "Yes, dear."


	2. Chapter 2

**Many thanks to lawslave for looking this over and allowing me to bounce ideas off of her.**

 **This story will update on Sunday and Wednesdays. Please leave your reviews. It is not finished yet, so if you have ideas or things you'd like to see explained or explored let me know.**

Chapter Two

"This is not going to go over well," Steve sighed as he and Lila rode towards the Reagan home. "Maybe it would be easier if I graduated the police academy."

"I know he is going to be difficult at first," Lila soothed. "That's why I suggested we do it this way. My grandpa will think it is really respectful and we will get him on our side. Between him and my mom, Dad will settle down."

"I really don't understand, Lil," Steven sighed. "I have a god job, I treat you well. Your mother is always kind...Is it really such a crime that I chose to fight fires instead of chasing crooks?"

"No, it isn't that at all. I'm his only daughter and his last baby. My father always wanted to have more children but after I was born they told my parents that my mom shouldn't have more babies. My father always over reacted when it came to my mom and her safely and health. After she got cancer, well then he really didn't think they should have more."

"If there is one thing I admire about your dad, it is how much he loves your mom. If I can make him see I love you that way..."

Lila's eyes opened wide, "You love me like that?"

Steven patted her thigh, "I love you like that, Lil, that's why I want to marry you even if you are from a family of flat foots."

At a red light, Lila paused to kiss him. "I love you like that too. My dad will come around, Mom will make him."

Jamie's detail delivered the rest of the Reagan family to the house. When they arrived Eddie saw the caterers had been there but Erin and Linda had rearranged the house and the flow she set up. "What is this? I had this all set up to go the other way."

"Oh, but this way there's no bottleneck and we can use the den for overflow," Erin replied.

"Jamie needs access to the den and so does your dad if he wants to lie down," Eddie replied. "Too late now. I wish you left well enough alone."

Jamie didn't notice his wife was upset. He was too focused on figuring out what Steven wanted. As soon as Lila and Steve arrived he was ready to pounce. Danny intervened on his niece's behalf. "To one of New York's bravest. Congratulations. Stay safe." He raised his glass and everyone else followed suit. Eddie greeted Steve and his friends by inviting them inside to have drinks. She'd hired a local bartender to serve the group that night. All in all it was a small affair, only thirty people and half of those were Reagans.

Jamie went and stood beside his wife, "Great job as usual honey, but why is my study door opened?"

"Erin and Linda thought the food spread looked better this way," Eddie sighed. "I'm sorry sweetie. I should have stayed home and did this myself."

"It's all right, I'm fine…" Jamie replied and smiled. "Let me have that word with Dad and Steven, then you and I can show those young lovers what it's really like to cuddle at a party."

Eddie blushed, "Yes, Commissioner…" She leaned on his tip toes and kissed him.

Jamie approached Steven, "Let's go have a talk…"

The three men went into Jamie's study and shut the door. Frank sat in the easy chair, Jamie behind his desk, and Steven across from Jamie. The boy was ill at ease and looked like he might get sick.

"Breathe," Jamie said gently taking pity on him. "I'm probably going to say no anyway so there's no reason to get upset. Just talk…"

Steven shifted in his seat, "Uh, Commissioner Reagan…and uh, Commissioner Reagan, I uh…The fire department has a better starting salary than the PD does and…" The look on Jamie's face told Steven that was the wrong way to approach this. "I'm not saying one is better or anything just that a new fireman has a little more in the way of resources than a new cop so…I can give her more. Lila I mean…I can give her more money and more stability. I can help her with her schooling and make sure that she reaches her dreams and…"

"What are you driving at, Steven?" Jamie asked. "Are you wanting to ask my daughter to move in with you? We don't do that in this family, 2044 or 1944 we don't do that."

"No, sir, that's not it at all…" Steven replied. "I want to marry her. Lila and I…I love her so much, as much as you love Mrs. Reagan and…"

"Do you like her?" Frank asked from the back of the room.

"Excuse me?" Steven asked. "I just said, with respect, I am in love with Lila…"

"I'm not deaf, son I heard you and I asked you a question. Do you like my granddaughter? Simple question, needs a simple answer. Love is a good thing, it is necessary…but love…When you find yourself with a sick baby and a pile of unpaid bills with a shut off notice, you better like your mate as well as love them? You think the reason Jamie and Eddie survived was because they were in love, it's not. So answer my question, do you like my granddaughter?"

"What my father is trying to day, Steven, is that Lila's mom and I were friends first. That friendship and that partnership has lasted 30 years through everything even a very hard year when Eddie was sick. What if Lila gets sick like that?"

"Then I will be by her side, every minute, every second that I can be there to get her through and help her survive as long as her mom has survived." Steven spoke with such emotion that Jamie was having a hard time resisting him.

"Commissioner Reagan, you might never like me, but I hope it means something to you that even though I asked Lila to marry me and even though she said yes, I am in here, asking you for your permission and your blessing before saying anything about it to anyone. I love your daughter, Sir and I like her very much. She is my best friend and I want to spend the rest of my life with her." Steven sat back then having said all he could think to say.

"You hurt her you realize her entire family and I mean every single member, carries several loaded weapons…" Jamie said in way of answering him.

"I know sir, so do I actually, your daughter will be safe with me, and the fire department takes care of it's own too so Lila will never want for that kind of security married to me." Steven stood up. "Thank you for your blessing on this, it'll mean the world to Lila."

Jamie reached out to shake Steven's hand. "Welcome to the family." In the end that was all he could say except. "You can call me Jamie."

Eddie saw all three men emerge from the study the same time that Lila did. Each woman made their way to their mates with questioning eyes. Jamie slid his arms around Eddie, "They'll tell us in a minute…" His voice had a slightly higher pitch than normal. Eddie looked up to see his eyes brighter than normal. "Are you all right?"

Before Jamie could answer Steven was clanging a glass with his arm firmly around Lila's shoulders. "Lila and I have an announcement to make and we want you all to be the first to know that Lila's father just graciously gave this very happy fireman his blessing to marry her…which means that Lila and I are officially engaged!"

Erin and Linda squealed in delight and hurried over to hug Lila. Eddie looked up at Jamie, "I'm proud of you, sweetheart. I know that was very hard for you. Let's go wish our girl the best." Eddie slid her arm through Jamie's. Lila was tied up with Erin who was already chattering away in excitement. "Best wishes, sweetheart" Eddie said to her daughter giving her a hug. "You take care of each other, you understand."

"I promise I will, Eddie," Steven told her offering her a warm hug. "Jamie, I gave you my word, I will take care of her and in thirty years we'll be sitting together maybe celebrating our daughter's engagement."

Jamie smiled, he wanted happiness for his daughter. He pulled Lila close and held her tight. "I'm so happy for your, Kitten." Jamie kissed her head and rocked back and forth with Lila in his arms.

He didn't want to lose his little girl but at least she was marrying a New York fireman stationed at a Brooklyn firehouse. She'd be close by for him to keep a watchful and protective eye on her.

"Let's get some food, you promised me I could have some dip," Jamie replied. "I'm holding you to that before Joe eats it all."

Joey came up to his sister and gave her a warm hug, "Congratulations, squirt," he replied kissing her cheek. "You treat her right, she's special."

"I know she is," Steven assured him. "I know I am a very lucky man."

Joey got Steven a beer and toasted him on his graduation and engagement.

As Jamie and his family visited, his DCPI appeared at his side along with Jack. Jack bent over and whispered in Jamie's ear. "Who? Where?"

"Office Michaels and Officer Sims, Michaels is likely, two in the chest…Sims got on in the leg should be okay," Jack replied. "The car is waiting."

Jamie stood and went to find Eddie, "I have to go, babe. Shooting on 1st Avenue. I have no idea how long I'll be."

Eddie nodded and stood to give Jamie a kiss. "I'll wait up, if you need my help, I'll ask Joey to bring me."

Jamie nodded, he tried to keep Eddie away from all of that. He loved working with her but sometimes he wanted to keep that line between being home and being at work.

Eddie smiled and kept up the party while Jamie headed with his entourage to the hospital. He was greeted by Sean whose face was grim. "How are my officers?" Jamie asked his nephew.

"Officer Michaels took two bullets to the chest, we used all the capabilities available but he died in trauma. His parents are arriving shortly and I'm sure they'd like to speak to you. Office Sims took a bullet in the knee, she is resting comfortably and can likely go home in a few days."

Jamie sighed, Officer Michaels graduated the academy with Joey. It was like a knife in his father's heart that a boy was taken so young. But for the grace of God it could be Eddie and him getting that news, that their precious boy was dead. He turned pale thinking of it. "Let me know when his parents arrive. I'll tell them myself, Sean. See to it."

Sean agreed and watched his uncle and brother sit down and wait for the arrival of the dead officer's family. The arrived only ten minutes later. Jamie stood and approached them. "Mr. and Mrs. Michaels, I'm Jamison Reagan…let's have a seat over here and talk." He put a warm hand on Mrs. Michaels back. "Your son…and my son graduated the academy together and I follow his career very closely, but tonight, while arresting two suspects breaking into a bakery on 1st Avenue, he was fatally wounded."

Mrs. Michaels immediately began to sob into her hands, while Mr. Michaels was stoic and stern. He made no move to hold or console his grieving wife. Jamie knew most marriages were not like his to Eddie but this was the death of their son. "I am so very sorry for you loss, the entire police department grieves with you. Your son will be posthumously promoted to Detective first grade with all the benefits and privileges of that rank."

Jamie knew nothing he said was going to help. Not a single one of his words would make this easier to bear. "Commissioner would you like to make the ID?" Sean asked as he watched his uncle consoling the grieving family. Jamie was so good at that part, he was so patient and so kind…to kind as grandpa often said.

"Yes, Dr. Reagan. I will take care of that shortly." Jamie turned his attention back to the sobbing mother. "My son is his age…I'm so sorry." Jamie felt his throat constrict. "I have some papers to sign." He produced his card. "You call me if you need anything, help with the arrangements or anything. My wife's card, she is my Chief of Staff, she can arrange anything you want."

Jamie stood and followed Sean to identify his officer. The boy looked a little like Joey, brown hair, clean shaven, strong square jaw…Jamie touched his hand, "Sleep well, son…" He felt like he was drowning in there. "Jack, if the Michaels are all right, call my detail. I'll visit Officer Sims tomorrow morning when she wakes up."

Jack nodded and set things in motion. Even making a quick exit, it was after 2 am when Jamie got home. Eddie was sleeping on the sofa, no trace there even was party.

She heard the door open and shut, Jamie tried to keep quiet but she opened her eyes anyway. "Are you okay?"

Jamie sighed and moved to her taking her in his arms, "Could have been Joey, Baby." He held her tight. "He was in his class. It could have been our boy"

Jamie's voice cracked as Eddie held him close. Frank was worried about this part of it, Jamie was so expressive; he related each loss to one he'd suffered. "It's all right, it wasn't him sweetheart. It wasn't him, he's upstairs sleeping off a corona buzz. He is fine, you want to go peek at him?"

Jamie took a shuddering breath and held Eddie's hand. They climbed the steps and peered into Joe's old room the room that Joey now used when he slept over. There was their son, safe and sound asleep on the bed.

Eddie felt Jamie start to shake, "To bed with you," she said firmly. "Nothing else is going t happen tonight. You'll feel better after some rest."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Again thanks to Lawslave for advising me as I wrote this. I hope you are enjoying the story. Please send your notes and reviews.

Chapter Three

Jamie awoke with a migraine that threatened to split his skull wide open. The morning sun pouring in the through the drapes was like daggers in his head. He got up and padded to the bathroom. Eddie was in front of the vanity getting ready. She already knew he'd want to visit his fallen officer.

"I ordered a bouquet for us to pick up on the way to see Officer Sims," Eddie told him as he walked past her. "And I sent the badge formation picture to the florist for Officer Michaels funeral, we'll forward the information as soon as I get the arrangements from his parents. "

"Thanks, honey," Jamie replied coming back from the bathroom and kissing her head. "I'll be right out. You want to get pancakes after we go to the hospital?"

"Sure," Eddie replied. "That would be nice, then we have a few things to do around here."

Jamie nodded, "I'm going to grab a shower." He stepped into the hot water and let it run over his body. Each time he lost an officer he remembered Joe. He remembered the day he lost his dear brother, it hurt like nothing else did, except what could have happened last night.

The hot water relaxed Jamie's neck and shoulders and helped his headache start to dissipate. Eddie was ready when he got out so he put on a pair of khaki's, a button down shirt, and tie then headed out to the hospital. "Did Joey go home?"

"No, but he had a tour this morning, he'll be here for dinner tomorrow night,' Eddie assured him. "You should talk to him too, I think this got to him a little bit and if he's shaken he'll be distracted in the field."

"I'll meet him for a beer tonight," Jamie assured her as his detail arrived to take him and Eddie to the hospital.

"You didn't sleep very well last night," Jamie commented as they drove through the streets towards the hospital."

"No," Eddie sighed. "I napped while I waited for you and after I just couldn't go back. You were tossing and turning so much. I was worried about you. This is only the second one since you've become PC."

"Thank God," Jamie replied. "Feels like hell though. Those parents, the mother was beside herself but the father as so stoic. It was crazy how stoic he was. His son just died and his wife was falling apart and just sat there like a rock."

"Not everyone is very expressive, honey," Eddie tried to reason. "Not every marriage is like ours either."

"I know that, if that were us I'd have at least comforted you and held you tight," Jamie replied. He slid his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "I'll handle the work at the house, you have a nap this afternoon and we'll go to dinner tonight."

Eddie sighed and laid her head on Jamie's chest. "I was worried about you last night. Sometimes I think maybe you aren't cut out for this emotionally. I know you are so smart and such a terrific leader, but having to live through the loss, I worry."

"Don't," Jamie reassured her. "Don't worry about me honey. I'm fine. I'll do this a few more times and I'll get to be an old pro at it like my Dad. He felt it all too, Eddie. He felt all the losses and after Joe he felt them a little more. He just did a better job at hiding it, but maybe if my Mom had been alive he'd have let his guard down with her too."

The cars pulled up to the hospital and Jamie handed Eddie out. They rode the elevator to the fourth floor where Officer Deidre Sims was resting with her leg on pillows and her eyes swollen like grapes. "Commissioner," she said sniffling. It was clear she'd been told about her partner.

"Officer Sims, I'm so sorry for loss," Jamie said gently sitting beside her bed and taking her hand in his. "I do know how it feels to lose your partner and there is nothing that can really heal the pain except time."

Deidre nodded, "I know that, Sir. He was so young, I was supposed to be keeping him safe as the senior officer."

"You did, you returned fire even though injured yourself. Your CO wants to put you in for a medal."

She sighed, "I don't want a medal…I just want a do over so we get those guys before…" Her voice cracked. Eddie sat at her other side.

"You are going through a rough time, I never lost a partner. I only had three partners, actually. I did kill someone in the line like you did though and that is really tough to get through without the support of your partner. What you are feeling it's all normal, the anger, the guilt, the anxiety, it is all normal and it does go away. You're crying and that's good. I had a hard time crying and lashed out at everyone. It got so bad one day the weight of my gun really knocked me to my knees." Eddie smiled at her gently, "It is normal and it will pass."

They stayed with the wounded officer another half hour before departing. Her mother had just arrived as they were stepping into the elevator. Jamie acknowledged the woman who appeared slightly older than he and Eddie.

"Are you Commissioner Reagan?" she asked him as his bodyguards moved a little closer.

"Yes, I just came from seeing your daughter…" He was astonished when she pulled back and spit in his face.

"Hey!" Eddie snapped at her. "He didn't…" Jamie cut her off and wiped his face.

"I can't imagine your worry, Mrs. Sims or your anger," he said evenly. "I'm a parent too."

She scowled and continued down the hall. "Jamie, she spit at you." Eddie was shocked he'd taken it so calmly.

"Her daughter is hurt, I put her in harm's way. If Joey got hurt on the job when I put him in harm's way I'd never forgive myself. Not ever."

Eddie rubbed Jamie's arm as they headed back to his car. "I think the house work can wait," Eddie said softly. "What if you and I go home, run a tub, have a nice long soak then you can go out with Joey, have a couple beers…" Eddie worked her way up his back and stretched to reach his neck. His neck was a mass of knots. "You need to rest, Jamie. You might have slept but it was a restless sleep."

Jamie sighed, "I'll be okay, lamb chop, but I'd much rather soak in that tub with you than wash the car and trim the hedges." He dropped a kiss on her head and directed his detail to take them back to their home in Brooklyn their pancake breakfast forgotten with the promise of quality time alone.

Frank was sitting on the porch in a rocking chair when they pulled up. "How's your officer?" he asked Jamie when he and Eddie emerged. He gave Eddie a knowing look.

"I'll be upstairs, Jamie," she said smiling. She stopped off in the kitchen to make some iced blueberry tea and heat up some lunch.

Jamie sat on the stairs near Frank's feet. "So, how is your officer?" Frank repeated.

"She's shaken up, she's grieving. Eddie was wonderful, she talked to her about having a shoot…and I talked to her about losing a partner and I think she'll be okay in time. Her mother…she's really pissed at me. She spat at me Dad."

Frank sighed, "In her mind…"

"I know, in her might I put her baby in harm's way, I know," Jamie sighed. "And I did, I do that every single day. I put people in harm's way, it's the job."

Frank watched his son. He was upset, that was clear. "Jamie, I know each time you lose one it's like you lose a little bit of yourself. I understand that very well but you can't let it eat at you like you're doing."

Jamie nodded, "Dad, I wanted to ask you…Is there a right way to approach the mayor about not getting the budget cut? They are threatening to cut my EDP training and stress training programs if I don't roll back wages to their 2041 levels. That'll put my probationary officers and second years below the poverty line."

"Do your homework before you approach him? Prove beyond a doubt that your way works, better that your programs save money and having the officers content, dedicated, and not tired from overtime trying to pay bills will save money."

Jamie nodded, "Sometimes I feel like a politician instead of the top cop," he sighed.

"Jamie, you're not a cop anymore. That was the hardest part for me too, to give up being a cop and becoming management. It was very hard to transition that, it took me a very long time and I never succeeded all the way, but you…You have the perspective and reasoning I never had. You can do this, Jamie."

"Thanks, Dad," Jamie replied. "Eddie and I are going to get a little rest, she had a rough night but if you need anything give a yell." Jamie patted the old man's shoulder and headed upstairs.

Eddie had a tub already drawn and had sank her body into the sudsy water. She had her eyes closed but smiled when she felt Jamie slide in. She moved up so she was lying between his legs. "This is the way to spend a Saturday," she sighed. "Especially after the party and can you believe it our baby getting married?"

They hadn't had a chance to discuss Lila's engagement since Jamie had been called away.

"Don't remind me, she really is a little too young, but I don't want to stand in the way of her being happy. If she and Steven can have a fraction of what we have had all these years, I can't stand in the way." Jamie didn't want to let his baby go, but his dream was for both his children to find their soul mates. There was no way of controlling when that would be. It hadn't happened for Joey yet but it did for their Lila, he hoped.

"I feel that way too and she was so happy you and I put our blessing on it too. She needed that from you. We're going to go and talk about her ideas and such in a few weeks. Hopefully just she and I, some nice mother daughter time that I never had with my mom planning our wedding." Eddie regretted not having that, her mom had died years before they married.

Jamie tightened his arms around her middle, "I know you missed out there honey. You and Lila can't make up for it, but this will be a talk she never has to share with Steven by God's grace."

To this day it still shook Jamie how close it had been when Eddie was sick. He believed it still shook their children too, especially Joey. He'd been just old enough to realize how dire the circumstances were, he never talked about that time with Eddie or Jamie, ever.

"I know and I am so glad of that Jamie," Eddie replied. "I know I missed out on a lot of things losing my mom so young, and I'm glad that I'm here for Lila and Joey. It made it worth it, the chemo, the radiation. It made it all worth it."

Jamie moved his hand up to cup her breast. In less than a month they would once again sit before her doctor and hold their breath waiting to hear if she was still clean. There hadn't been so much as a scare in years but they were still shaking each and every time they took a trip to the doctor.

"Beautiful," he whispered his fatigue and headache long forgotten as he held his wife in his arms. Eddie laid back and they talked softly about Lila and Steven. "Jamie, can we afford to give her anything she wants?"

"Anything within reason," Jamie replied. "We can't get into an insane amount of debt, but we can afford to give her a beautiful wedding. If she wants to do it in Manhattan we'll have to limit her guest list."

Eddie smiled, a lot of dads would be strict and tight with their budget, but not Jamie. He'd do anything to make his little girl happy. They soaked a short time longer then Eddie let the water out of the tub and put on comfortably house clothes. Jamie called Joey and asked him to meet at Flannery's for a beer.

"Uh, not sure I can, Dad, a bunch of us are going out…"

"Joseph, I'd like to have a word with you over a beer, please," Jamie said. "Then you and your friends can roll this off your backs in your own way."

Joey agreed to meet his dad at five. He knew that tone, it was his no nonsense don't mess with me tone Joey was so familiar with. When his father used that tone of voice he knew he best comply with his wishes or he'd have his mother to deal with. Joey and Eddie were thick as thieves but she did not tolerate him disrespecting or upsetting his father, not one little bit.

At five minutes before five Jamie sat on a bar stool at Flannery's and waited for his son to arrive. He knew that Joey didn't like to let him see his vulnerability but he had to check on his son mainly for Eddie's sake. Joey arrived a few minutes later and sat down beside Jamie.

"Mom, okay?" was his first question.

"Your mother's fine, son," Jamie replied. "She's really happy for Lila. I wanted to check up with you, I know you were classmates with Officer Michaels."

Joey nodded, "Dad, look, I know you feel like you have this obligation to act like you are still a father even though you are PC…"

"I am your father," Jamie said quickly. "First and always, your father, Joe. I know you're still upset at me about the promotion list but that was a paternal move, not a professional one. It would not have gone well for you."

Joey nodded, he knew deep down Jamie was right, even though he'd earned the promotion, there would be endless ribbing and arguing over it by disgruntled officers passed over.

"You holding up okay?" Joey asked. "I heard that Mrs. Sims spit at you and Mom went all momma bear on her. That was really rude."

Joey used to have good talks with Jamie, now he had to search for the words. Since Jamie became Commissioner they had been strained and Joey was slowly realized that it had been like that all along. He didn't know quite when he stopped trusting his father but he did. Eddie was right, it hurt to be betrayed by the person you loved and trusted most in the world.

"I'm fine, I was concerned about you. Mom and I were thinking if things had been different," Jamie studied his beer bottle. When had it become so hard to talk to Joe? Had it ever felt like this with his father?

"Yeah, I'm good. I knew Michaels from the academy but we weren't friends or anything really. Actually, I am closer to Officer Sims than I was to him. She and I rode together for a little bit last year. I went to visit her in the hospital earlier."

Jamie nodded, "I, uh…Your mom and I were really shaken up about this one. It hit close to home for us Joe both because of Uncle Joe and because of you."

Joey took a long sip of his beer, "I'm good Dad. I didn't get shot. I do want to talk to you about some of the rumors I'm hearing that you're going to roll back salaries and stuff. A lot of guys not even in my precinct, some I don't even know are coming up to me and asking so…"

Jamie sighed and sipped his beer. "Joe, you know I'm not supposed to discuss that kind of thing with you and those officers coming to pressure you about what I'm going to do or not do. I lived through that all the time, I hate that for you." Jamie turned and shook his head against a flash of dizziness. He shut his eyes for a minute to get his bearings. "I can tell you that I will not be taking their current offer and while there are somethings I will be willing to cut, I am not going to cut salaries, my stress training, or the EDP program. You are going to have to trust me Joey."

Joey nodded, "I'll at least let my partner know that you are not going to put her and her kids in the poor house and cut her pay. She's s single mom and only has this paycheck to rely on."

"Assure her that I will not allow her and her children any hardship," Jamie replied. "That's not a distraction she needs or you. If anything happened to you Joe, your mom and I…"

"Dad, I patrol the Upper West Side, where nothing really happens, I see your hand in that one," Joey replied. "Tell Mom I love her and I'll see her tomorrow. I have to go."

Jamie pulled Joey in for a hug. "Keep your head down," he warned with a smile before letting Joey head out on his way.


	4. Chapter 4

Special Thanks to Lawslave for letting me bounce ideas off of her and for being a terrific guide.

Chapter Four

"I'm sorry," Mayor Scott Eldridge said to Jamie as the two men argued over coffee and crullers. "Something has to go, we are 5 million over in the police budge with raises, specialized training and new vehicle maintenance."

"We can cut the vehicle upgrades but some of my cars, I've seen cabs in Newark with better suspension that that," Jamie commented. "My EDP and stress training are not negotiable, neither is first aid or CPR."

"That EDP training is the most expensive program you have," the Mayor replied. "It takes man hours, paying experts…"

"And saves the lives of hundreds of officers and thousands of civilians. Since my father created this program the cost has been…" Jamie began but was cut off.

"Astronomical!" the city manager interrupted.

"I'm not talking about the cost in dollars, I'm talking about the cost in lives!" Jamie snapped. "We have saved lives, gentlemen. This is my job. If I am being successful, if my programs and my officers are being successful, find the money to reward us in kind!"

"We don't have the money, Jamie. We just don't' have it and I am not raising taxes to pay cops or to help crazy people."

"And what are you doing with the taxes we already pay!" Jamie snapped. "I'm a property owner, I know how much I pay. Where is all that going, what I pay in property taxes alone can fund the salary of three rookie beat cops!"

Jamie was showing his classic Reagan temper now. "My men and women are on the line every day, they are in the line of fire, in harm's way. They deserve adequate training and adequate raises!"

"So does fire, so does sanitation…" countered the city manager.

"Next time someone gets mugged, let them call a garbage man!" Jamie snapped. "I will consider your proposal for wage freeze if and only if you leave all my training programs intact. It will cost the city considerably more money in funerals and death benefits if you don't." He pushed the intercom button his desk, "Detective Reagan, what's next? We are finished here."

The Mayor and his team left as Eddie stood in the doorway. As the mayor passed her he whispered, "He has to at least pretend to play ball with the council, you must convince him."

Eddie sighed, "I can't ask him to be less than he is, you shouldn't either, you appointed him for this very reason."

The mayor nodded and headed past Eddie to the elevator.

When Eddie entered Jamie's office he had his head down on his hands, "I know. I heard," she said softly and stood behind him rubbing his shoulders. "It's all right, you'll figure it out."

"Ed, do we have Advil or something in the desk out there? My head is killing me," Jamie sighed. He had a few migraines over the last year but this one was very strong.

"Yeah we do but you look pretty clear the rest of today. Why don't I get you some soup from downstairs and you put your feet up for a little while? You can rest and face the rest of the day better."

"I can't, I need to call in the staff and we need to work this out," Jamie said. "I'll be okay honey, don't worry. Lunch sounds good though, let's grab a bite. Call my DCs and tell them I need them here at 1:30."

Eddie agreed and set up the meeting before she put the phones to voicemail and headed off to lunch with her husband on her arm.

"They have a point regarding the expense as a line item," Eddie pointed out to Jamie. "That was one of your father's biggest fights when he started this program, to balance a near ten million dollar cost against the benefits for a population that was largely swept under the proverbial rug."

"A girl died, Eddie," Jamie reminded her. "A girl who maybe with the right help could have been a productive member of society died because we failed, as cops and as people. My dad and I devised this program to keep another senseless death from happening be it a civilian or a cop. A year before Jenny Strong, a good cop and a very sick man both died due to lack of training. That law suit cost the city $27 million. "

Jamie squeezed the bridge of his nose, the pressure behind his right eye was intense. "Here, take this now you have some food in your stomach." Eddie handed him to liquid gels.

Jamie popped the pills and took a sip of the hot tea she made for him. "I hear what you are saying, Eddie and I understand why you are saying it. I know I have to make compromises, and I know no matter what I do someone is going to lose something."

Eddie reached across the table to take his hand in her own, "You need to do what is best, and I know in your own heart that answer is there. You just have to know where to look inside yourself."

Jamie sighed, he knew that his training had to come first. It was best for the most number of people. "I gave Joey my word that I would make sure salaries weren't rolled back. His partner…"

"Jamie, you never should have discussed that with Joe," Eddie sighed. "Really, you know that you can't…"

"Eddie, you and Joey have the perfect mother-son relationship," Jamie cut her off quickly. "He adores you. Me, it's like I'm his enemy. He still resents me for the promotion thing. He told me as a kid he never wanted me to be the PC that he never wanted to have to deal with the stuff I had to deal with when Dad had the job. He resents me for that, and for the promotion too, the least I can do is fulfill a promise I made to him about his partner."

"What's wrong with his partner?" Eddie asked. She was always concerned if her son's partner was not up to the job her baby would be in danger.

"She's a single mom with two kids that's only two years out. I think she's a little younger than Joe. He said she was concerned if she got rolled back she won't be able to make ends meet. I gave him my word."

"Then you know what you have to do, don't you? No matter what you need to keep your word to our son, you promised me that and yourself when you were sworn in as commissioner." Eddie held his gaze firmly with her own.

"I know what I have to do, sweetheart and I know what it's going to cause," Jamie sighed. "I have to get upstairs and get ready to sell this to my support staff. I'm going to be late, I'll have my detail run you home. They can come back for me." Jamie stood up then quickly sat back down in his chair. The entire room has shifted and his eyes had little black spots floating before them.

"Jamie!" Eddie's concerned voice flooded his brain. "Jamie, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, honey," Jamie replied getting up successfully this time. "I'm a little tired but I'm fine."

"Maybe just sit another minute, you're flushed," Eddie worried and touched his cheek to check for fever. "No fever. Have you been taking your medicine? I haven't been leaving it out for you, I'll start to."

"Eddie, don't worry about me. I'm okay," Jamie assured her pushing off her fussing hands gently and kissing both palms. "I'll see you upstairs."

Jamie headed off now with his sea legs as Eddie straightened up their table. When she returned to the office she knew the meeting was already underway. She could occasionally hear Jamie's voice raised or a firm smack as he brought his fist down on the table for emphasis. She knew that there would be dissention in the ranks over the decision that needed to be reached.

Eddie left at seven that night. When she got home Lila was there on the computer. "Hey honey, sorry it's so late. I picked up dinner."

"Oh, Aunt Erin and I went out for dinner. She had some brochures and things to show me for the wedding. I left them if you want to look at them."

It stung. Lila was beginning her plans without her. She preferred to see the brochures and things with Erin. "I'm sure you will make a good choice honey. Let Dad and I know where to send the checks."

"Mom?" Lila was a little surprised by Eddie's curt reply. "I want to do that together. Aunt Erin just had some stuff…"

"I'm sorry honey," Eddie sighed. "It's tough at work right now and Dad is up against a rock and a hard place in the office."

Lila smiled, "I read in the papers and Steven said FDNY is under the gun two, they are suspending two cadet classes to save their current budget."

"Dad won't want to cut man power like that, I don't know when he'll be home. Can you lock up and just leave the kitchen light on for him?" Eddie just wanted to go up to bed.

"Yeah, oh, grandpa had one of his spells earlier but Steven was here and helped him get to bed and lying down," Lila told her. "If you want to look in or should I ask Dad to do it?"

"No, I will do it, thank you honey," Eddie said and headed up stairs to look in on Frank. He had mild COPD and sometimes had trouble breathing. If he did his breathing treatment he usually felt better and rested. Eddie found him sound asleep and breathing evenly when she looked in. She checked his covers and shut out the bedside light.

Lila was still up studying when Jamie came home just before midnight. He was tired and his head ached. "Hey Kitten" he greeted. "Oh, I remember that class. I'm surprised you are still awake studying that."

"It's slow going but it's required," she replied. "There's left over pot roast from my dinner out. Mom went up and didn't eat. She got kind of upset I'd gone out."

"Mom is very tired," Jamie explained. "Her appointment is in a few weeks you know how she gets before her check-ups. She works herself up and gets all upset so we really need to be sweet to her and supportive." Jamie opened cabinets and made a tuna and egg sandwich for Eddie and heated pot roast for himself. He put the meals and two teas on a tray and took it up to his wife.

He found Eddie in the recliner in their bedroom staring into space. "Penny for them?" he asked softly as he approached with the food tray.

"Just day dreaming I guess, it's really late," Eddie commented looking at the clock. "Did you…" She saw the tray of food. "I'm not hungry Jamie."

"I know but you have to eat," Jamie insisted. "Lila told me you just came up to bed. Are you feeling okay?"

Eddie sighed, "She…I am fine I just didn't want to talk about the wedding, I needed some time that's all." She didn't want to add to Jamie's stress by telling him she was upset about his sister and their daughter talking wedding plans. He had enough real issues on his plate.

Jamie nodded, "Well I understand but you have to eat okay, sweetie. I made your favorite sandwich, eat up then we can get some rest. Six thirty comes around awfully fast."

After they ate their dinner, as late as it was, they left the dishes for the morning and crawled into bed. Jamie put his arm around Eddie and held her tight. "You know no matter what baby, I'm here, I'm always going to be here. You don't have to worry, you don't have to be afraid." He kissed the top of her head. "Everything is going to be all right."

Eddie sighed as she felt sleep coming to her, "All right…" she sighed smiling into his chest. "All right."


	5. Chapter 5

**This chapter was a little difficult for me, Lawslave was invaluable in helping me get it out of the rut. Please keep reading and reviewing. There is much more of this story to come and many more stories after.**

Chapter Five

"There's no way out," Jamie declared as he collapsed into bed beside Eddie five days later. He'd been working hard on the budget and finally saw the handwriting on the wall. "I have to do it and I don't want to honey but I have to think about what is best for my officers."

Eddie rolled onto her side and looked at her husband. He was exhausted. He had one arm flung over his eyes, and he was pale except for flushed cheeks and dark circles under his eyes. "You do. You have a responsibility to your officers and the people of New York. You knew what you had to do days ago, I don't understand why you beat yourself up like this."

It hurt Eddie's heart to see him like this, exhausted, often having headaches, and just all in all not himself.

"Because I don't like any of my options Eddie,' Jamie snapped. "I'm going to have the damn union all over me for this. If I don't freeze wages and benefits at their current levels the city will cut stress training, EDP training and first aid. If I cut those programs I'm opening us all up to more lawsuits and putting cops lives as risk. There is no good option, it's the lesser of two evils at this point."

"What about Joey?" Eddie asked after a minute. "You made him promises, Jamie. You promised not to roll back salaries to help him protect his partner and you promised your job would not hinder him any more if it was in your power."

"Well, it seems nothing is in my power, does it Eddie?" Jamie asked with an edge in his voice. "I won't roll back wages, I can't do that to Joey's partner of the other people. But I can't give raises now, cost of living or otherwise and Joe is going to have to understand that."

Joey was due for a raise in the next cycle, this would be the second time that Jamie's job had curtailed an advance for their son. "Jamie, I know you feel backed into a corner, honey but…Joey…"

"This is about more than just, Joey," Jamie sighed. "I know it'll affect his raise, I can't help it."

Eddie sighed, "You could cut back on the number of hours you train in the simulation unit, then you can let raises go through for the first step and if we recycle office supplies and such and I review some of the contracts and save some money…"

"No, Eddie," Jamie said again in a sharp tone. "I looked, I cut back everywhere I could. The wage freeze has to happen to protect our officer's lives. I do not want to bury my son, if that means he's mad at me so be it."

"Jamie, how can you be so blind?" Eddie asked sitting up fully. "Your relationship with Joey has been sketchy since you became PC; that is your job. It's your responsibility, but Joey is your son. You think you are having rough time with him now you announce this…"

Jamie swung his legs off the side of the bed ignoring the stabbing pain in his head and the dizziness that threatened to take him to his knees. "I have no choice!" he exploded. "You think I didn't try every single thing I could think of to do! You think it was easy to make this choice! I hate this, I hate all of it but I had to make a choice and safety is over happiness, it always was! I need you on my side in this. I did not think of all the people I'd have to defend myself to you!"

Jamie voice broke, he was so tired and so stressed. He knew the union backlash would be hellish, he knew he'd let his son down again, he did not expect Eddie to fight him, that hurt more than anything else could.

Jamie left the room and headed downstairs. Eddie sat in shock. He almost never lost his temper with her, she had pushed him too far. It scared her to see the rift between her husband and her son. She was facing yet another oncologist appointment. She needed her family together not apart. It had been seventeen years since her cancer had gone into remission but she still felt incredibly upset and scared each time her checkup drew near. If she was sick again, they'd need to be united. They were older now, not old but older, and Jamie would need help taking care of her and Frank as well.

Slowly, Eddie padded down the long staircase to find Jamie in the study with two fingers of scotch in his glass. He was swirling the dark liquid around in circles. "That's not going to help," Eddie said gently. "It will raise your pressure and make your headache even worse. Come upstairs, lie down. You are so tired. Come on."

Eddie gently took the scotch from his hand and took his hand leading him back to bed. "I know I hurt you just now," she said softly. "I just…you have to think about the entire department, the entire city, but I just have to think about our son and our daughter. I want you to have with Joey what you have with your father, but…he's going to see this as a personal attack."

"I know he is, I'll just have to do my best to help him understand and if he's needing help or his partner is needing help, I can keep my word to him as a father…and that will have to be enough."

Jamie was restless that night, he got up three times. Around four am Eddie heard him rustling around in the bathroom. "Jamie?" she called out gently their got out of bed to check on him. "Jamie what's wrong?"

"Can't get this child proof cap off the Advil," he grouched. "Don't…" He began but Eddie switched on the light. It almost immediately caused him to turn to the toilet and vomit from the pain that assaulted him.

Eddie knelt behind him and supported his back as he threw up. "You need to rest today. You have been going nonstop for over a week. Jamie, the NYPD can survive without you for one day, please honey."

"I can't," Jamie said standing up and rinsing out his mouth. "It's just a headache. I just couldn't get the bottle open in the dark." He took the bottle and tried again, this time the top popped off but his hands fumbled and he dropped the medication onto the floor.

"Go lie down, I'll get you some medicine and the ice pack," Eddie told him shooing him back to bed. She picked up the spilled medication and gave him two with water then headed downstairs for the ice pack. She held the ice on his temples as Jamie laid still. "I'm sorry," Jamie sighed as the ice brought much needed relief. "I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier."

"Ssh," Eddie soothed. "I know you are under tremendous stress and it's only going to get worse tomorrow when the unions find out what you've decided. Try to rest now."

Jamie sighed and enjoyed his wife's tender touch. He managed to doze off for a short bit before the alarm screamed at him to get up.

Eddie had been up for a while before Jamie came downstairs. She'd made a hearty breakfast of pancakes and ham, she knew he'd need it to get through the upcoming day.

The press was swarming Jamie's detail when he and Eddie arrived at 1PP. "Commissioner Reagan, any comment on the union's threat of blue flu?" That stopped Jamie in his tracks. "It is illegal for police officers to strike, I have every confidence in the professional men and women charged with the care of our great city." Jamie pushed past the crowed and inside the building.

"Do you really believe that?" Eddie asked in the elevator ride up.

"I better, if we blue flu it'll be open season on the city," Jamie sighed. "I have confidence in my cops, let's see if they have confidence in their Commissioner."

Eddie began to review the schedule, her phone was ringing off the hook and there were already ten messages from the union president. "Commissioner Reagan's office, Detective Reagan."

She set the meeting for 10:30 am, then called Jamie's support team to come down and provide the necessary back up. She missed the days when she has his back in the field, if she was allowed in the room today, no union president would bully her husband.

Jack arrived first for the 9:30 am meeting prep. "Hey, Jack, wait a sec," Eddie said pausing him in his tracks.

Jack paused, "What's going on, Aunt Eddie?" He noticed the worried look on his aunt's face.

"Just do me a favor and stand in front of your Uncle Jamie in there. He's really beaten himself up over this thing, he's been up and down night after night, I don't think he's feeling well and I would consider it a favor."

Jack smiled, "You got it, Aunt Eddie." Jack and Jamie had been close for years. Jamie had taught him to drive when Danny was too busy and hot headed, he had coached him through his first girl problems and had coached him through algebra and geometry when no one else could help. "I got him as his Chief of Department and his nephew."

Eddie smiled, lately Jack was more supportive of Jamie than their own son. She knew that there would be hell to pay with Joey for this decision. He would not see or understand what his father had gone through in making this choice.

Jack disappeared inside Jamie's office and put his head together with the other DCs that had gathered. Even if they disagreed amongst each other, they had to be united when the union president came in.

Eddie glared at the short, stocky, balding man when he approached the office at 10:29 am. She knew he'd make Jamie the bad guy and heap even more guilt on him than he already felt. "The Commissioner is expecting you," she said as she let him into the inner office without offering a beverage.

"You really did it this time Reagan!" he snapped. "My officers won't stand for this. You care more about the nut jobs than you do your own cops!"

Jamie sighed, "It's done, it's not negotiable. I did all that I could do with the city, and this was the best course of action. I'm sorry if money is the only thing your cops value. Now that we have a budget, we'll work on a more suitable contract."

By 11:20 am the meeting was done and the union president set the ball rolling for retaliation. Officers on the swing shift started to call in and complain of respiratory and digestive ailments. It was starting already.

"Sir, over 60% of our force has called out tonight. Our presence is going to be severely limited and…" Jack began.

"Issue an order for all non-uniform officers to put on the blue. Instruct officers in the motor pool to park some of the unused radio cars around town to make it seem like we are out there in greater numbers," Jamie sighed and rubbed his head "And from now on, we are all working 16 hour on eight off…make it happen Jack."

Jack started to walk away to do Jamie's bidding, "Jack, please ask Detective Reagan to bring some Advil. I have a headache…"


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Here's the big one folks. Hope you enjoy. Thanks to Lawslave for her consistent review of this piece as it came to fruition.

Chapter Six

Jamie dragged home after a sixteen hour day at 1 PP. He was more tired than Eddie had ever seen him. She had worked a solid 12 hours by his side before he chased her home. She turned down their bed for him and made him a cup of tea. She could see he had a skull splitting migraine as soon as he walked into the house. The force was in crisis from a sick out, and the budget was not coming together. Eddie remembered Frank having similar issues but he didn't feel like his children were against him. Well, not both his children, in Jamie's case. Lila was on her father's side, she knew he badly wanted to give his officers everything he could. If it was in her father's power, he'd give raises, increase pensions, and extend sick time, but he could only do so much. By agreeing to the wage freeze and a benefits cut, he saved jobs and kept the next class of cadets on schedule, not to mention he kept essential training programs that improved safety for his officers and his city. Eddie still remembered the vicious words the night the deal was announced.

 **Jamie had just finished his dinner and Eddie was clearing the table when Joey stormed into the house.**

" **What the HELL, Dad!" he thundered at Jamie making the older man rise in shock.**

" **Joey, I had no choice," Jamie quickly defended.**

" **You had a choice!" Joey shouted. "You always have a choice! Whatever happened to the family motto!? There is always one more thing you can do!"**

 **Eddie didn't care for her son's shouting at his father, "Joseph Patrick, you watch your tone while you are in this house. Do you understand me? You speak civil and you speak even or you do not speak at all."**

 **Joey sighed. "Mom, you didn't read this deal he struck, did you? It's bad enough he scratched, literally removed my name from the detective list, but now to freeze wages when I become eligible for a raise? How is that fair?"**

" **It's not fair," Jamie broke in. "None of it is fair. I didn't want this. I've been in your shoes, Joe. I was on the beat a long time. I met your mother on the beat. I know it's not fair, Joe, but all I can do is my best. I had to give a little to get a lot and to me the training that will keep all of you alive is more important than a wage freeze from a 2% raise."**

" **And my promotion…" Joe began.**

 **Jamie raised his hand, "We've been through that. I'm sorry I hurt you, Joe, I really am. I know how that feels too but I had to do what was best for you and believe me, making detective on my coat tails, that's not it!"**

 **Jamie dismissed the rest of the conversations, he'd tried his best to reason with Joey. Since Eddie got sick, their relationship had been damaged in some way. It got worse when Jamie became the PC, and he didn't know how to repair it.**

 **Jamie understood that being the oldest, even if he was just seven, when his mother was suffering from cancer was hard on Joey. There were times when he had to understand and be okay with so much more than a little boy his age should have had to be. Jamie had tried to be understanding, he remembered holding the boy on his lap comforting him and explaining his mother's illness to him. Still, he had remained closer to Eddie.**

 **Jamie chalked that up to mothers and sons having a special relationship, like fathers and daughters. He had that connection with Lila. What Jamie didn't know, or didn't remember, was that all the times he was rough on Joey, they stuck in his mind. When he would scold him for being noisy or for snapping at his sister, it added a layer of brick to a wall Joey was building to keep his father at bay. If he wasn't good enough for his own father, who was her good enough for? That was Joey's motto…he never felt good enough for Jamie, he was their black sheep.**

" **That's it, go and blow me off with a wave of your hand just like you always did!" Joey shouted. "You sold out. You sold me out, you sold your department out. Don't think we will forget it! They won't and neither will I!"**

 **Joey left slamming the door, causing the wall clock to fall from the wall and nearly hit Eddie in the head. She looked shocked, and her heart broke at the tears she saw shimmering in Jamie's eyes. When had he lost him all together? When had he lost his baby boy?**

Jamie hadn't been the same since that day. The next day the "blue flu" broke out so badly he was putting non uniform officers in their blues and bringing in cadets to write parking violations. He worked hour after endless hour trying reach an agreement with the union leader and run a department of 40,000 men at the same time. For her part Eddie did everything she could do to make it easier on him.

"Again?" she sighed seeing the lines of pain etched on his face.

He nodded, "No dinner, Eddie. I can't…" He was shielding his eyes from the intense light of the kitchen lamp. Eddie shut it off and turned on the light over the stove. "Let's get you up to bed. I'll make you some tea and bring up the ice pack. Just lie down and rest." She kissed his cheek and heard him climb the stairs. This was his fourth severe headache in as many days. Eddie put a note in her phone to call the doctor in the morning and have him checked out. He might be developing the high blood pressure the men in his family suffered from. He already suffered digestive ailments from a stomach ulcer.

Eddie quickly made the ice pack and a willow bark tea to relieve pain. Frank heard the goings on in the kitchen and popped his head in from the study, "You're doing all you can do for him, Eddie," he told her. "He's not cut out for this job, he's too loving, he cares a little too much. Until he develops the skill to separate things…"

"I know, Dad," Eddie smiled. "I know. I am taking care of him, I'm going to make him see the doctor for the headaches tomorrow." She gave Frank a kiss on the cheek and headed upstairs with the tea and the ice. Jamie was lying on the bed, still in his suit, clutching his head. Eddie felt horrible for him, she sat down on the bed. "It's all right, Jamie. Drink this, it will help now."

Jamie took the cup and sipped the herbal mixture. "This is terrible," he laughed but dutifully took the entire cup. Eddie lay the ice pack on Jamie's head and shut off the lights. Gently, she removed his shoes and socks taking time to gently massage his feet. She read that if you massage the feet it would relieve pain in the rest of the body. Jamie sighed as Eddie rubbed his feet, taking her time to make sure she hit all the places she'd read about for headaches. When she felt him relax a little bit she helped him remove his suit and shirt until he lay in just his undergarments. "Just sleep like that," she told him gently.

"You come to bed too," he whispered. "You are tired too."

Eddie nodded, "In a little while. I have to lock up the house and make sure your Dad is settled in bed." Eddie dropped a kiss on Jamie's head. "Sleep it off, nothing ever seems as bad in the morning."

Eddie headed back downstairs, set the alarm on the door and checked on Frank. "I'm going up to bed. He's resting now and I think he's feeling better. Don't stay up too late, you need your rest too."

Frank laughed, "I'm 92 years old, honey. I don't have a bedtime, besides I nap."

Eddie shook her head, laughing under her breath as she headed up the stairs. Sometimes you just couldn't argue with the man.

Eddie let Jamie sleep the next morning until their breakfast was ready and she was dressed for work. She nudged him at 7:30. "Jamie, time to get up, sweetheart?" He groaned and rolled over sitting up fighting off a wave of post migraine dizziness.

Slowly, he padded to the bathroom to get his morning shower. His bones were stiff and he moved slowly instead of with his usual energy. He had not gone for a good run in weeks. Too tired. It seemed exhausting to turn on the faucet and step into the tub. Jamie skipped washing his hair, it was an effort to raise his arms. Usually a shower helped him wake up and gain energy, this morning it seemed to make him feel worse.

He struggled to tie his tie that morning, his fingers didn't seem to want to work. He was thankful tomorrow was Saturday, he could perhaps get some time to relax and go back to the table with a clear head.

"Another day, another meeting," he sighed as she tied his tie and drank his coffee.

"Today will be better," Eddie promised him. She didn't know what else to do. It was her job as his wife and his assistant to keep him focused and positive that he would attain his goals. They road into the office together and as they went up in the elevator, Jamie held Eddie's hand for a brief moment. "I was thinking, Jamie,' Eddie began. "If you cut my salary out, you could have an extra $75.000. We don't need the money and ..."

"Eddie, you work hard. You deserve a paycheck the same as the next person."

"I know, but I don't need it as much as the next person. Think about it." Eddie leaned up and gave him a kiss before the elevator door opened.

Eddie got on Jamie's schedule as soon as she sat down at her desk. She took it upon herself to cancel anything that was not absolutely necessary for the day. All she wanted him to focus on was the budget and union meetings.

The phone was ringing off the hook on her desk, "Commissioner's office, Detective Reagan..." And so it began.

Jamie was in the conference room beginning at 9 am. His DCPI, DCLM, DCMB, DCLR, and DCLC along with Jack, acting as his Chief of Department were present with him. Jamie uncapped his pen, a gift from his father when he was named the PC. "Forty-three more officers and detectives called in this morning," Jamie began looking at the list. "All with respiratory or digestive complaints. We are going to hammer out a solution, so get comfortable. We are not leaving here until this is solved."

The group put their heads together. "It's not a question of selling this to the city, Sir," Jamie's Deputy Commissioner of Labor Relations spoke up. "It is a matter of selling it to the rank and file. I think you have lost touch…"

"Lost touch?" Jamie spoke up. "I was in the blue twice as long as any member of my family before I finally got promoted. I haven't lost touch with anything. As most of you may remember, I buried my brother. My best friend. And he had the stress training. He had the advanced skill set that is so vitally important to the function of this department. I will not compromise training and psychological support for our officers nor will I sacrifice the mental health training. It has saved lives!" Jamie slammed his fist hard into the table. "Yes the wage freeze is a hardship, but so is an increase in dead cops!"

Eddie could hear Jamie yelling in the outer office. He was losing his temper and letting himself get worked up. She picked up the phone and called for the Asian diner to deliver. She made sure to include a pot of green tea for each of the deputies and Jamie. It would help to relax him and maybe bring his ire down.

At one that afternoon Eddie knocked on the conference room door, "Lunch is set up in the second conference room. Commissioner Reagan, you have a secure call."

Eddie wanted to get him alone for a few minutes. She wanted to have a chance to calm him down, get him to breathe. She was concerned about him and had made him a doctor's appointment for the next morning.

He stepped aside with her into the situation room. "What line?" he asked.

"No line," Eddie admitted. "I wanted a minute with you. I could hear you shouting all the way at my desk. I'd prefer you didn't get so upset. It's not good. I called Dr. O'Donnell. He can see you tomorrow morning at 9."

"Eddie, I have to…"

"It is a Saturday. You won't have a staff here anyway," Eddie reasoned. 'You can see the doctor and have a rest." She kissed his brow. "You have another headache. I can tell."

"I'm fine," he replied. "Thanks for worrying about me, but please don't. Remember that article we read? That stress can cause a recurrence. We don't need that Eddie, we don't." Jamie kissed her head. "I love you. Go home at five, I'll have my detail take you then come back for me then I'm finished here."

Jamie went to go eat is lunch. The group was raving about the meal that Eddie had ordered, "Smart move making your wife your right hand," his Deputy Commission of Management and Budget, Thomas Samuels spoke up. "At least you get to see her."

"Detective Reagan is a solid assistant," Jack replied complimenting his aunt. "No one can read the Commissioner like she can."

Jamie heard their words but they were starting to feel like they were in a funnel. He shook his head to clear it and his blurred vision. He reached into his pocket and popped two advil to trying and stave off a massive headache.

When the meal was done, Eddie supervised the cleanup and Jamie went back behind closed doors. The battle continued as the NYPD top brass argued amongst themselves, Jamie was frustrated. If he could not make his own team see it his way, how on earth could he make the entire department and the union so? He felt like his tie was choking him, "Let's take five, ladies and gentlemen," he said excusing himself. His stomach was in knots and he knew if he didn't escape he would be sick in front of everyone.

Jamie splashed some cold water on his face and loosened his tie a little so he could breathe. The pain behind his right eye was so bad, he felt his stomach turn. He reached into his pocket for his cell phone with his left hand. He wrapped his hand around it then felt the grip relax on its own. Before the fear could register, Jamie's leg went limp. The last thing he remembered was the sensation of falling before everything went black.

The meeting was stalled nearly fifteen minutes waiting for Jamie to come back to the table. Jack nervously checked his watch. Jamie was nothing if not incredibly precise, "I'm going to see what is keeping the Commissioner." Chief of Department Reagan was not concerned about his Commissioner at this moment, Jack was concerned about his Uncle Jamie.

He headed to the men's room, "Commissioner?" he called until the door shut. "Uncle Jamie are you…" Jack's eyes fell on his uncle's prone form. He dropped protocol, "Uncle Jamie!" he cried out. He grabbed the radio he kept on his belt, "This is Chief of Staff Reagan, 14th floor men's room. I need a bus, the PC has collapsed."

Eddie heard Jack's radio call and was running full speed. Jamie's detail was surrounding him as Jack loosened his tie and his belt. "What happened?" Eddie asked getting on her knees. "Jamie!" she shook his shoulder. "Jamie, can you hear me sweetie? Jamie!" He didn't respond. Eddie shook him, his head lolled to the side. That's when she saw it, a slight droop to his left eye, a slight tip of the left side of his mouth and a tiny drop of saliva on his chin. She quickly wiped that away with her bare hand, a protective instinct, to spare his dignity. She felt sick, "Where is that bus? I think he's had a stroke."


	7. Chapter 7

Here it is, the promised bonus chapter. I wasn't going to make you wait until Sunday to see what happened to Jamie. Hope you are enjoying the story. I love to hear from my readers, so please send your comments. Thanks again to Lawslave.

Chapter Seven

Sean was standing in the ambulance bay when the ambulance carrying Jamie pulled up to St. Victor's. "Fifty nine year old male, unconscious and unresponsive at scene. BP 235/110, visible facial deficit. His wife says he's been having headaches. IV line started."

Sean saw Eddie coming out of the ambulance as he jumped to work on his uncle. He began to bark orders at the nurses and the technicians. "Aunt Eddie, what meds is he on if any?"

"Nothing, uh, no Prilosec for his stomach, and I think he took some Tylenol or Advil for his headache earlier, but that's all."

Sean disappeared with that bit of information into a trauma bay. Jack had followed his aunt to the hospital with Jamie's detail. "He'll be okay, Aunt Eddie," Jack comforted. "I called my parents from the car and they are heading over now. He'll be okay, he's healthy and strong." Jack put his arm around Eddie. "I'll call Joey and Lila now, sit down and have a cup of water."

"Jack, let me call the kids. I think it will be better coming from me." Eddie pulled out her phone and dialed Joey first.

Joey was enjoying beer and burger with a his buddies. Most of the officers in his precinct were good friends outside of work and often spent their off time together. Joey looked down at his phone when it started to ring. He reached over and picked it up seeing his mother's number flash on the screen. Even thought he was upset with his parents, he loved his mother beyond all things. If she called he would always answer. "Hey, Mom," Joey said stepping away from the noisy bar. "What's going on?"

"Joey." Eddie's voice was husky with tears. "Joey, it's your Dad. He, uh was rushed to St. Victor's. Can you please…"

Joey's heart clenched. "Was he…did someone shoot him?" His father has just made 40,000 enemies, he wouldn't be surprised if he'd been shot by one of them.

"No, he uh, collapsed and his face was drooping. I think he's had a stroke of some kind. Please Joey, I know you are so angry with him now, but please. I don't know how bad he is, he might never wake up." Eddie was crying full out now, she was terrified her words to her son would be the truth. She needed her Jamie, he was her life. He was the reason she fought so hard and so long to live all those years ago. If she lost him…

"Don't worry, Mom. Dad is strong, he's stubborn Irish strong. I'll be there, I'm going to pick up Lila at campus first so call her and tell her to be at the bus stop by the quad in twenty minutes." Joey was in crisis mode now.

Eddie felt some relief that Joey and Lila would soon be there. She dialed her daughter.

Lila had just finished her last class when her phone rang. She smiled when she saw it was her mom. She had asked Eddie to go over that night and work on the wedding plan outline so they could move forward. Eddie promised to call her back with a time. "So do you want to do this over dinner?" She paused. "Mom, what's wrong?"

Eddie was crying again at the sound of Lila's voice. "Oh, baby…" Eddie shuddered. "Lila, Dad is in the hospital. He was taken to St. Victor's when he collapsed…Joey is going to pick you up in fifteen minutes now to bring you. He wasn't talking…"

Eddie had always been a rock for her kids. Jamie got shot in the line of duty when Joey was fourteen and Lila eleven. She never forgot that day, that visit from her brother-in-law.

" **Dad's going to be home any minute, I don't want a mess when he gets here, he's been working hard on a case," Eddie told her children. "Put everything away where it goes."**

 **Eddie put the dinner on the table, expecting Jamie to arrive home any minute. She heard from his earlier he cracked the case and they were about to take down the perp. Eddie was surprised when the bell rang at their Staten Island home. "I bet dad forgot his keys," Lila said running to admit her father. A second later she called out, "Mom, Uncle Danny is here!"**

 **Eddie dried her hands and went to see what he needed. The look on his face was enough, "Oh my God…" She covered her mouth and bit her lip.**

" **He's been shot, Eddie," Danny said in a husky voice. "It's in the shoulder but it hit an artery, he's lost a lot of blood. We have to get you down there. You might have to sign a couple of things."**

 **Eddie wanted to cry and scream at the top her lung, not her Jamie. Still she took a deep breath and let it out, "Give me a minute to talk to the kids," she told Danny.**

 **Danny marveled at how she handled herself. She sat each child down and spoke softly, "Dad was shot tonight while he was arresting a very bad person." Lila was only eleven, Eddie had to downplay it for her. "He's been taken to the hospital, so we are going there now to be near him and let him know we love him so much."**

That entire time, Eddie's voice did not waver. She never shed a single tear in front of her children. It scared Lila that her mother was crying so much now. "Mom, we'll be there really soon. I'm going to just have Joey take me to my car, then if I need to get grandpa I can, okay?"

She agreed and spoke to Lila until Joey arrived to take her first to her car, then lead her to the hospital.

Eddie was pacing back and forth when Sean poked his head out. The waiting room was full of cops, Jamie's detail, and reporters. Eddie whispered to Jamie's body man to call the DCPI, she didn't want this around her family now. When Mrs. Commish, as they affectionately called her, spoke, the staff listened. She commanded that respect.

"Aunt Eddie," Sean said gently approaching her. "He's gone down for a more detailed head CT but I can tell just by the cursory exam we are dealing with a stroke. The tests will tell us where and how bad it is for the most part. What is worrying me is that he has been having such severe headaches. We have to find out if the headaches and the stroke are related. If they are related, we could be dealing with a subarachnoid hemorrhage, which is bleeding in the area surrounding the brain."

"He has had migraines for years, when he's stressed he gets migraines, this is not new…" Eddie sighed. This didn't sound good. "If it is this subarachnoid hemorrhage, does that mean he's dying?" Eddie looked Sean's face, it was pretty ashen even for a seasoned doctor.

"If he's unresponsive and bleeding in his brain, he's likely…20 percent," he told Eddie gently. "And I'll be honest with you, if he's that 20%, what's left…" He shook his head. "If it is another type of stroke, from a blood clot, that is easier to fix. Either way, by looking at his face, and his pupil…he's going to have some deficits."

"I don't care what deficits he has, if he knows me and he knows his family and can understand us when we say I love you to him, that's good enough, so go make that happen Sean, make it so he knows who we are and that we love him. Do whatever you need to do, you have permission to give him every test and drug in the world. Just make it so he can understand I love him."

Danny and Linda hurried in as Eddie finished her plea. Danny held his wife's arm as they approached. "Sean, how is he?"

Sean hugged both his parents, "I just explained that Uncle Jamie's suffered a stroke. We are testing him now to determine what kind it was, how bad it was, and where it occurred in the brain. Some signs are indicating subarachnoid hemorrhage, Mom," Sean explained then spoke medical to Linda for a few minutes.

A nurse stepped out into the waiting area, "Dr. Reagan, your patient just spiked a fever and the CT is ready for your review."

"Thanks, Lorianne," Sean replied. "Looks like the tests are in, let me have a peak I'll be back out shortly and we'll see what we are dealing with."

Sean disappeared behind the glass doors reading Authorizer Personnel Only. Eddie sat down with her head in her hands. Her Jamie…this subarachnoid hemorrhage sounded like something you could die from or wish you had. If Jamie had any significant disability he wouldn't want to go on like that.

Danny put his arms around her in a silent show of support. Since that day so many years ago when Danny rescued her from a freezing cold bath tub, they had a special relationship. He rocked a little, 'He's so strong, Eddie,' Danny assured her. "And he has the best doctor in there even if he is my son. He has the best wife and the strongest woman at his side. No matter what he's facing, he's going to get through it."

Eddie took a deep shuddering breath. "I have to pull it together, the kids are almost here, I can't have them see me like this. If they do, they'll think he's gone."

She wiped her eyes and sighed, holding onto Danny's hand. What was keeping the kids? Sean came out again, "Aunt Eddie, Dad, Mom…" He sighed. "The films are back and there is a small bit of good news. The stroke is not the type we feared, he has a clot that is cutting off the oxygen supply to his brain. It's mainly concentrated in the motor cortex, the part controlling his motor functions, arm and leg movements, facial muscles, part of swallowing and speech. There is some residual bleeding that is wreaking havoc with his temperature control, he's got a fever right now but it should drop once we begin to treat him aggressively for the clot and the bleeding. I need you sign giving me permission to treat him with drug therapy."

She took the forms and saw things that scared her. "This can cause more bleeding. What if…"

"It's a risk, Aunt Eddie," Sean replied gently. "I won't lie to you. If we administer this drug and dissolve the clot, he could bleed out. But if we don't and it continues to starve his brain for oxygen…I know it's a hard decision. I know it is." Sean held her hand. "If this were my choice, I'd give him the medication. When it works it improves recovery time and it will save his life. It works more times than it doesn't."

Eddie looked at Linda, "You have no choice honey," she sighed. "You really don't. Jamie would want every chance."

Eddie felt sick but scrawled her name on the line, trusting Sean and Linda when she didn't trust herself.

Sean took the form and hurried back to begin Jamie's treatment. Eddie took a few sips of the water Jack had brought for her. Jamie's DCPI had succeeded in clearing the area of press. Only Jamie's detail, some officers that had remained on duty, and family remained. Finally Joey and Lila arrived with Frank in tow. She knew he was there by the click of his cane and the security she always felt when he was nearby. He looked at Eddie with worry in his eyes as Lila rushed to hug her mom.

"What do you know? Is he going to be okay?" she asked. Now that she was with her mother, her resolve was wavering.

Eddie brought a hand up to stroke her daughter's pretty blonde hair, "I hope so, Lila. Sean is working on him now, they are giving him some medication to dissolve the blood clot."

Joey closed the gap after seeing that Frank had a comfortable chair near Eddie. He wrapped his arms around his mom and sister. "Blood clot?"

Eddie nodded inside her son's embrace, "Sean says he has a blood clot in his brain and it caused a stroke. They don't know much else yet except it was where the brain controls the movements. Sean is trying to dissolve it with medication but he might bleed into his brain more."

Lila shuddered, "I can't lose him, Mom." She began to cry as her mother and brother held her. Lila was Jamie's baby as much as Joey, until recently had been Eddie's baby.

"I know, sweetie. I know…"Eddie soothed. "I know, he is a fighter, Dad's always been a fighter. He's not going anywhere."

"That's right," a strong voice spoke up. Even at 92 years old, Frank Reagan was a commanding presence. "He's not going anywhere, not my boy."

When he said it, Eddie almost believed it but until she was back with Jamie, she would not be able to totally relax.

For his part, Jamie lay in a peaceful state of darkness. The pain he'd been suffering he last few days had all but disappeared. He heard voices, beeps, but felt nothing. It concerned him that he didn't hear Eddie's voice. Whenever he was sick or hurt, as he assumed he was from the sounds and words he could make out, she was at her side. Had there been an accident? Had Eddie been hurt too? He felt his heart rate rising, the beeping got faster…He heard the voices get more urgent, more insistent. "Uncle Jamie, don't you do this!" he heard and inwardly sighed. "Sean…thank God. It was Sean."

Eddie paced, that's what she always did when she was nervous. Joey drank endless amounts of coffee with Danny. Lila sat by her grandpa, her head pillowed on his massive chest. Her fiancé, Steve was on the job, but checked in each time he had a minute for an update. Linda kept taking trips with Jack to get tea, water, coffee…trying to ease the worry. She stayed in contact with Erin, who was in Los Angeles at a conference. She was doing all she could to get back to her brother.

Finally, after two hours that felt to Eddie like two years, Sean came back out. "His blood pressure and his temperature are coming down," Sean announced. "The clot is dissolving and blood is reaching his brain tissue again."

The family let out a collective sigh of relief, along with Danny's little cheer. "That's not to say," Sean said firmly over the din. "That's not to say that he's out of the woods or that he won't suffer neurological deficits. He's lost some brain tissue that will impair him. How much unfortunately we won't know until he wakes up."

"When will that be?" Eddie asked. "I want to be right by his side, if he's going to wake up and maybe not be able to move…I want to be there to comfort him."

'You're going to be," Sean assured her. "He's in a private room, the nurses are making him as comfortable as possible then you can go in. I'm going to bend the two person rule so that Lila and Joey can go at the same time and Mom and Dad at the same time with you. After that though, it will be just you and one other person until he's stronger."

Sean slid his arm around his aunt, "Why don't the three of you come up now and we'll get you settled, Aunt Eddie. I got you a nice chair and some blankets. I've ordered the nurses to set you up on his right so that you can hold his hand and he'll have a better chance at feeling your and seeing you."

"Seeing me?" Eddie asked. 'You said his motor function, nothing about his eyesight."

"I know, but sometimes when people have a stroke on the right side of the brain they have a hard time focusing and recognizing things and people so it's better if we make it as easy as possible on him."

Eddie nodded and started towards Jamie's room. Sean put his arm around her and Joey did the same for Lila. Eddie gasped when she saw Jamie. He was on oxygen, had two IVs running delivering fluids and other medications. His body was swelling and he didn't quite look like himself. They had braced his afflicted arm and leg and elevated them on pillows. They had taken care to make sure Jamie's hand would not freeze in a fist while he was unable to move it.

Slowly, Eddie moved to the bed. She sat down by Jamie's side and took his hand in her. "I'm here, Sweetheart. I'm here…" She kissed his hand and held it to her cheek. In spite of the monitor measuring a high body temperature he felt cold. "He's cold, Sean."

"I know he is," Sean replied. "But we can't cover him too much since he is still having a temperature. He's not in pain and he's not uncomfortable." He kissed his aunt's head.

Lila moved to kiss her father's head, "I'm here, Daddy. I love you so much…" He voice broke and she looked away. This was not her father. This man so still and sick looking, not her strong and capable Daddy. She reached for her brother to comfort her.

Joey held his little sister. He remembered doing this when their mom was sick and would lie in bed after her chemotherapy in pain and throwing up for endless hours. Jamie was never really around then, he was either working or taking care of Eddie. Joey didn't make any moves to touch his father or even speak to him. He was here for his mother and his sister. Jamie wouldn't care if he was there anyway, he only was ever interested in what Eddie and Lila needed. "He'll be okay, sis. He's alive, that's important right?"

Lila agreed that was the case and stayed for ten more minutes before leaving to let Danny and Linda see Jamie. Danny choked up at the condition his younger brother was in. That should be him or his father, not Jamie. "Hey kid," Danny said stroking his brother's cheek. "Open those eyes for us okay? We're here and we'll be here for you no matter what. I love you, Kid. Don't you worry," Danny whispered. "Don't you worry about Eddie, I've got her. I will take care of her like we promised."

Danny put a kiss on Jamie's forehead.

The last family member to visit was Frank. Eddie stood and let him sit down and hold Jamie's hand. "Son," his voice was cracking. "Jamie, can you hear me? It's dad."

Jamie made no move to show him he heard, just kept his eyes shut, the effects of his stroke visible on his face. Frank traced the subtle droop of his mouth and tenderly wiped the moisture there. Sean had explained increased salivation was a side effect of one of Jamie's medications and the paralysis of his facial muscle caused some to seep out. Frank knew his son would be terribly embarrassed by this and didn't wish for him to feel distress.

He whispered softly, "I love you, Jamie. You make me so proud. You need to come through this. I can't lose another boy, least of all my youngest." Frank tucked Jamie's covers a little more around his sleeping form. "Eddie is going to sit with you and I'll be back and forth as much as I can. Sleep well and heal, my son."

Frank kissed Jamie's hand then left Eddie alone with him so she could be a source of love and comfort when Jamie finally woke.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: As promised your Sunday update. Let me hear from you. I posted a bonus chapter on Thursday, so please go back and read Chapter Seven if you missed it. Special Thanks to Lawslave, who has been invaluable in the formation and execution of this story.**

Chapter Eight

Eddie was still at Jamie's bedside when the sun came up the next morning. She had been sitting there for a full 12 hours now. Lila had come and gone twice already, once to bring Frank to his son and once to take him back home. Joey had been there for a few hours only before going out on his tour. Danny and Linda has come and gone as well. The only person missing was Erin, she was out of town giving a lecture at a conference, but was on her way to her little brother's side.

Eddie was starting to doze off, her hand glued to Jamie's right hand. She knew he's be able to feel her touch, even if the stroke had rendered his entire left side paralyzed. Sean hoped from the films and the quick medical intervention he would only have partial damage. "Jamie please," she whispered softly. "Open your eyes. Just for a minute. I know how tired you must feel but please Jamie, open your eyes." She kissed his hand, it was warm but far too limp for her liking.

He didn't respond, just laid there. Sean had told her there was a chance, however small, the damage was more severe and that he would just lie there in bed until...No, he was too young. They had too much to do.

The hospital room door opened and Joey stepped inside. "Any change?" he asked his mother. She had to be exhausted, but here she was keeping vigil.

Eddie just shook her head, "No, he's still not waking up, Joey. I keep asking him to but..."

"He'll wake up when he's ready, Mom, he has to rest and heal," Joey replied trying to be a comfort to his mother. Things had been strained with both of his parents, his mother taking his father's side in their argument when she usually took up for him.

"We don't know how bad the damage is until he wakes up," Eddie replied. "Jamie...honey, Joey's here to see you. Will you wake up for our son Jamie?"

Joey held in a scoff, his father do something for him, yeah right, but now was not the time for such bitterness.

Joey took Eddie by the shoulders and started to pull her, "I think it's time you went home. I have the car out front. You can come back in a couple of hours."

"I am not leaving him," Eddie said firmly. "He didn't leave me except to work or take care of you kids when I was the one in the hospital bed. I am not going to let him wake up alone, confused, maybe unable to move or talk. No."

"Mom, you are no good to him if you're exhausted," Joey reasoned. "What good are you going to be to him if you are tired?"

"I can still comfort him, Joey," Eddie replied. "He's going to be frightened. I have to be here."

"No, Mom, you don't. Lila can come back and sit with him, Uncle Danny can sit with him. Sean is off duty soon, he can sit with him and they'll call you to come back. You need to come home and rest. Stress and strain can bring back your cancer, the doctor keeps telling you that, but you don't listen."

"Joseph Patrick!" Eddie barked. "Enough. Do not play the cancer card here. You honestly think I would rest or have less stress and worry at home while your father is lying helpless in that bed? Go home, Joseph. I mean it."

"I'm trying to look out for you, Mom. I think it's what dad would want."

A soft moan from the bed got their attention, Eddie turned to see Jamie looking at her, eyes open wide. "It's all right Jamie. It's all right," Eddie soothed stroking his forehead without breaking her grip on his hand. "Joey, get a doctor."

Jamie felt as if his body was weighed down with bricks. He could recall a few migraines that left him feeling this groggy and detached but not many. The pain seemed to have gone from his head now but taken up residence in the left side of his body. The pressure he felt was tremendous. When he had opened his eyes a moment ago, he expected to see the soft hues of the bedroom, but he did not, nor did he detect the scent of Eddie's vanilla mist. The sight that greeted him was much colder and sterile. In fact, that was exactly how he would describe his surroundings; sterile. Sterile white walls and covers paired with the aroma of pine disinfectant could only mean one thing. This was a hospital. He was in a bed at the hospital. That realization terrified him.

Jamie took a quick inventory of his body once the clues drew him to a workable picture. His right had had an IV line in the vein and a pulsometer on his forefinger. A warm digital blood pressure cuff was attacked to his upper arm linked to an EKG monitor at his bedside. There were several other lines as well linked to the monitor only Jamie could not make out where they came from on his body.

Jamie combed the sterile room with his eyes. Eddie was at his side, smiling at him, the fluorescent lighting making her blond hair glow like a halo. His angel…Her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears. She stood up and reached out a slow tentative hand and ran her knuckles down Jamie's cheek. Jamie seemed startled at the contact at first but leaned into her familiar comforting touch.

"Hi, sweetheart," she said speaking slowly. Sean had said he may or may not be able to comprehend. "I missed you."

Jamie offered her a lopsided grin, "I thought you were getting too comfortable." His speech was horribly mangled, the words were barely understandable, but fortunately Jamie and Eddie hadn't needed words to communicate in a long time.

"Well, I learned my lesson," Eddie teased before switching to a more serious topic. "You scared me so much, Jamison," she confessed fighting back tears.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "Wh…What happened to me?" he asked. "I…I can't feel my leg. I can't feel my arm. I can't move them…" He was starting to breathe very hard and way too fast.

At this point, Eddie was fairly sure that cognitively Jamie knew what had taken place but he needed her to confirm it and calm his fears.

"Ssh," Eddie soothed running her soft cool fingers over Jamie's furrowed brow. "Calm down, baby. Calm down, I'm here. It's okay. You're okay. Ssh."

Eddie repeated the gentle words over and over again for a few minutes all the while playing softly with the hair that fell across his forehead. Finally her hypnotic tone and actions worked and Jamie's breathing began to slow.

"Jamie, do you remember what happened at work today?" Eddie asked.

Jamie paused a minute and tried to think back, "Head hurt…budget crisis." The word crisis was particularly mangled.

"That's right," Eddie confirmed. "That's right. You just had lunch and you went back to the bargaining table…"

As Eddie was filling in the blanks, Joey returned with Jamie's doctor. "Commissioner…"

"He's confused a little bit," Eddie told the doctor. She tried to drop Jamie's hand but he held on with all of his strength. The fear in his eyes broke her heart.

The doctor smiled, "Please let go of your wife's hand. I need to examine you but she can stay."

He checked the print out from Jamie's monitors, "Your vitals are stabilizing that is good." He checked Jamie's pupils, "Your pupil is still a little sluggish but that is normal." Next the doctor had Jamie squeeze both is hands, his right hand worked but was weak, his left hand was still. The same held true for his legs. Jamie looked at Eddie with wide eyes.

The doctor smiled slightly. "Okay, that was very well done, Commissioner. We have a few more tests a bit later, for now get some rest. Your wife is allowed to stay."

Joey stood back watching this exchange. His father, his strong father was lying in the bed, weak and now dependent. It terrified him in more ways that one. Would his father get better? What would happen to his mother if he didn't? Would this bring her cancer back? All his life he'd lived in fear that her cancer would come back. His father and sister didn't seem to have that worry, but he did, in spades. The more Jamie put her through the ringer with stress at work and home, he could be bringing it back.

Eddie had taken her seat at Jamie's side and taken his hand again. He looked from her to his useless arm and leg, "Arm...leg paralyzed?" he asked as best he could.

The direct simple question made Eddie's eye well up with tears. She could not hide from Jamie. "Yes, sweetheart. The doctor said your left side's motor skills were affected the most. The limbs are paralyzed and your facial muscles too. That is why you are hard to understand." She noticed some more salivation on his cheek, he didn't feel it. She took a tissue and wiped it off his chin.

"How...talk? Can you...understand?" he asked running a list of post stroke deficit in his head.

"You make sense. You are leaving out connecting words sometimes and the mechanics are garbled. Your speech is unclear but coherent," Eddie replied. 'And you seem to process all of my words just fine."

Jamie was relieved by that. "Swallow?" Which sounded more like SWAWHOA, the clarity suffering as Jamie grew tired.

"I don't know yet," Eddie said. "Your doctor need to do the tests first. If your mouth is dry I have a moist sponge." Eddie used the small instrument before Jamie even asked her to do so.

Jamie shut his eyes and enjoyed the moist sponge in his incredibly dry mouth. He looked at Joey, "Help your mother." He told him. "Take her home."

"Jamie, no, I am not leaving you," Eddie said firmly. She could see him starting to shut himself down. She had to keep him open to her.

"Tired," he sighed. "Please..." His eyes were closing. Eddie sighed, "For a few hours then...I'll be here in the morning for you tests." Reluctantly she stood up and kissed his lips, "I love you so much, Jamie. If you want me, have the nurses call."

Eddie backed away from his bedside and left room for Joey to say something to his father. "Rest up, Dad. I'll see that Mom rests okay?" He reached down and patted his father's good arm. "I'm gone take a couple days to help her out. You can count on me to take care of her."

Jamie offered a tired lopsided smile, "Thank you...good son..." Joey felt his heart clench.

Lila was sitting on the couch with her fiancé Steven when Joey pulled up with Eddie. "Come on, Mom. I'll make that tea you like and you can get some rest. Dad's going to need you like he is…he's all messed up."

Eddie glared at Joey, "He's not messed up, he's sick. Part of this is from that budget crisis and the stress that was heaped on him from that. Your father might never be the same again and I will not allow you in this house if you wish to be disrespectful to him."

Joey sighed, "I just meant that he can't walk, and he can't move his arm, you are going to be taking care of him…"

"Dad, can't walk?" Lila stood up. She heard their voices as they entered the kitchen. "How do you know? Did he wake up?"

Eddie smiled, "Yes, honey. He woke up a little while ago." Joey started the water for his mother's tea.

"Well, how is he, Eddie?" Steve asked.

"He's a little confused," Eddie replied taking off her shoes. "His left arm and leg are paralyzed and his face…the muscles in his face make it so his speech is really garbled, but it seems that he understands everything I say and what he says makes sense it's just hard to understand," Eddie explained. "Where's your grandpa?"

"I'm here, Eddie,' Frank said coming from his bedroom. "How's my boy? I heard you say he's paralyzed on the left but can he swallow or…"

"They are testing him tomorrow for cognitive issues, swallowing, object and facial recognition…but he made sense and he understood me when I said what happened. His brain is functioning in all the important ways. He even sent me home."

Frank smiled, "Then he'll be okay. My boy…he loves you so much. If he's worried about you, he's fine."

The tea kettle boiled and Joey made Eddie's tea, "After you finish you should go up to bed. I think Dad will be looking for you first thing Mom."

Eddie sipped her tea and watched Lila. "Are you okay, honey?"

Lila's face fell and she went to her mother in tears. Eddie stood and held her little girl, "Dad is alive honey, and he woke up. He knows me and he knows we love him. The rest we can fix…if he can't walk, so what. If I have to feel him, wash him, dress him, so what, he knows and understands what's important. Don't cry, Lila." Eddie stroked her hair. "Don't cry."

Eddie sighed, she never felt adequate where Lila was concerned. Jamie was her parent, he was the one she was close to, the one she really connected with. If the shoe was on the other foot, Jamie would have her tears dried by now. Eddie kissed her head, "Tomorrow, we'll visit Dad and you'll see that he is as okay as he can be right now."

Lila pulled back and went to Steve. "I'll take you to see him tomorrow, I'd like to go and say hi."

It was decided they would all go to the hospital at eight and take turns seeing Jamie, "I have a tour at eight but I'll come when it's over," Joey replied. "I promised Dad to take care of Mom so after tomorrow I'm going to take a couple days."

Frank smiled. "You do that and you get the word out in the ranks, Blue Flu ends today. Their commissioner is in the hospital, he's laid up for who knows how long. This is a time for solidarity, you are a Reagan, you set the tone in the field, Jack will do it at 1PP."

Joey knew not to argue with Frank, he would start to show support in the field at least, that was best for the city and for his mother. But it didn't mean he forgave his father.

Eddie kissed Joey and Lila goodnight, "Frank, you want me to walk you back up?" she asked. She wanted a few minutes with her father-in-law.

"That would be nice, Eddie. Goodnight, we'll all leave at 8 am." He took Eddie's arm and walked upstairs and into the master bedroom that he once shared with Mary. Now it was Jamie's room with Eddie. As soon as they were alone, Eddie started to cry holding it in since leaving the hospital. "He was so scared…" she sobbed. "What if he never gets better…It will kill him living like that…I can't lose him, Dad, I need him."

Frank held her tight and kissed her hair, "Ssh, Jamie is so strong and capable. He will find the strength to get better, Eddie and the strength he lacks we'll give to him."

"I meant what I said as long as he knows me and knows I love him…I can deal with the rest. He's fifty nine, he's always eaten so healthy, worked out…I should be in that bed, not him. All my bacon cheeseburgers…" Eddie was starting to hyperventilate.

"My God, Frank," Eddie gasped. "He's..His arm, you can see it wants to just curl up and lock. He's so confused…I don't think he knows what's happened all the way, not really. He's scared, his blood pressure keeps going up. I can hardly understand a word he says. He fights so hard and I can barely make out what he needs from me."

Frank rubbed her back, "Breathe deeply," he soothed. "Take a deep breath. Jamie would not want this, okay. He would not want you to be so upset. He loves you so much. We will take it slow, one day at a time, one minute at a time if we have to. Jamie needs all of us but he especially needs you."

After a few minutes of Frank's tender coaching Eddie settled down. It was very late and she had to be up early to be at the hospital for Jamie. Her world was going to be Jamie now, just as she had been his world when she battled cancer. "He never gave up on me, he worked himself exhausted fighting with me, I owe him nothing less."

"That's a good girl," Frank praised as if she was a little girl. To him all his children were his babies. "Get some rest, I will get some rest. Jamie needs us, if you can't find it in you to rest for yourself, do it for him."

Frank kissed Eddie's head and left with his cane clicking on the floor.

Eddie crawled into the bed she shared with Jamie for 28 years. He had hardly ever not slept beside her. It hurt that he wasn't there and was lying alone in a hospital bed. Eddie was concerned about how long they'd be apart, when and if he'd need rehabilitation. She vowed then and there to spend as much time at his side as humanly possible, whatever that meant and whatever it took she would do it to make sure Jamie was alive and as well as possible for the next 28 years and beyond.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Once again my thanks to Lawslave. She has been with this story almost as long as I have!

Chapter Nine

The house was awakened early the next morning when Erin arrived. She's flown in from LA and taken a cab from La Guardia. Frank was up fixing muffins and coffee. She went to her father and hugged him, "Oh my God, Dad…A stroke? Jamie?"

Frank nodded, "Yes, a pretty bad one. His left side is totally wiped out but Eddie feels he is cognitively intact."

"Well that's good…" Erin said sitting down and taking a cup of coffee. "How's she holding up?" She knew that her youngest brother and his wife had a deep unique love.

"She's holding on for Jamie, for the kids, but it's hard on her to see him like that. She didn't blink an eye in the hospital room. Joe, he's still giving them problems, he was arguing with Jamie just a few days ago."

"They need to work that out, Dad. It's killing Jamie that there's such a rift between them. He loves Joey so much, both his kids, but Joe…he's special to Jamie, he's Joe's namesake."

Frank nodded, "We're heading to the hospital at 8. You can be first to see him with Eddie after Lila if you'd like. I think he'll be happy to see you."

Erin felt horrible for not being at the hospital yesterday. Getting the call from Danny that her baby brother was in the hospital after a stroke shook her. Jamie had always practiced good nutrition, good exercise, now he was lying in a hospital bed and perhaps he would do just that for the rest of his life. Some stroke victims regained their faculties, others waited to die. She was terrified which category Jamie would find himself in, she prayed it would be the former.

"Sounds good, I really want him to know I'm here. I am so sorry I wasn't here yesterday."

They heard footsteps and Erin looked up to see Eddie. She looked as if she'd aged ten years in just a few hours. Erin stood to give her sister-in-law a hug. "He's going to be okay, we'll take care of him and help him as much as he needs." She hoped her words would be a source of encouragement but Eddie rebuked her. "I will do that, yes," she replied emphasizing the word I.

Eddie, for th most part liked Erin, their relationship was fine and over the years there were no disagreements, in spite of how Erin felt about their match, however, Eddie knew that where Jamie was concerned Erin babied him. She always saw him as the youngest much in the same way Danny did, but where Danny tried to bulk Jamie up, Erin would coddle him. That would not serve him well as he tried to recover. Even if recovery was not possible, Eddie did not want Erin or any of the family as a constant presence. Jamie was her husband, his care was her job and she would be the one to do it and only her. That little branch of the Reagan family closed ranks when the going got tough and for the moment Eddie was locking their doors.

Before the family even arrived the next morning, the occupational therapy coordinator came to test Jamie's chewing and swallowing. He passed the test though he did have slight difficulty the therapist assured him that could be improved. When the occupational therapist was finished, the neurologist came to do another assessment and introduce his physical therapist, a young woman name Callie. They began testing his motor skills immediately. Callie held Jamie's useless left hand over his head after removing the brace. She opened his hand so his fingers were splayed out straight and did not revert into a protective coil. "All right, Commissioner," Callie instructed. "Concentrate on your left hand and try to make a fist."

Jamie was exhausted but if he wanted to get well again he knew he'd have to work hard. He focused all of his mental and physical strength into complying with the small request but his hand refused to obey the command he tried to send it. "I can't," he sighed defeated.

"Try again," Callie encouraged. "Come on, try to make a fist. Try."

Again, Jamie focused his mind on his left hand willing the fingers to curl and close and again he failed to achieve the simple task. "No, I can't."

"Try harder," Callie pushed. "You have to try harder."

Gritting his teeth, Jamie gave the therapist request another shot and finally he got his thumb and forefinger to bend just a fraction of an inch. The exertion of that small movement made his brown break out with sweat and caused him to moan from the effort.

"Good!" Callie encouraged. "Keep going."

Jamie focused on his hand and tried to move his fingers. Neither he nor Callie noticed Eddie in the door way. For her, watching and listening to Jamie's struggle was like watching someone try to lift a car by themselves. Before Jamie stopped trying again he cried out loudly from frustration and pain. Eddie moved into the room and stepped in for him.

"All right," Eddie said with great authority. "That's enough. He's done enough for now."

"Not nearly, Mrs. Reagan," Callie countered. "Not nearly. This is a crucial assessment time and rehab time."

"It's also inside the danger period. He only had the stroke a little more than 24 hours ago," Eddie argued moving to the left side of the bed so she could take Jamie's arms from Callie who reluctantly let it go. Eddie lovingly lowered the effected limb to the layer of pillows on the bed that served to prop it up. Eddie ran a comforting hand over Jamie's forehead. "He's exhausted. Can't you see that? This is too much for him too soon." When the 72 hours, had passed, Eddie would be right there pushing Jamie to work hard, but until then, she wanted to let him rest. Only until then.

"S'okay, Eddie," Jamie slurred. "Fine."

"Jamie, no rest is what you need now. Enough is enough," Eddie asserted. "You,: she looked at Callie. "Can come back later."

Callie had been a therapist long enough to know sometimes the spouse of the stroke patient became very protective. All she could do was wait and speak with the doctor as she had done in the past. When Jamie and Eddie were alone again Eddie set to work fluffing Jamie's pillows and fussing over him. As she adjusted the pillow under his left leg, she asked, "How does that feel? Are you comfortable?"

"Yes," Jamie answered. "Honey, I want to say something to you, okay?" he asked, his tone serious.

"Of course," Eddie agreed sitting down beside him, taking his right hand.

"I know all of this, what's happened, I know that's all very hard for you," Jamie said gently slowly and deliberately so she could understand. "I know how terrified I was when you were fighting the cancer, and if you got well then you'd go back to normal. Now, you could be facing a life with me as an invalid. That's a lot to deal with so quickly."

"I know," Eddie replied. "I know. Jamie…" Eddie didn't want to keep talking about that part of this.

She ducked her head. "Are you scared?" Jamie asked.

"I was," Eddie admitted. "But I'm better now. Don't worry right now, okay? You need to focus on resting and getting well. Let me worry."

Jamie offered her lopsided smile, "Won't be very different," he told her. "I'll heal and get back to normal soon."

Eddie doubted that Jamie really knew what he was facing in terms of recovery and life after the stroke. She barely had any idea as of yet still while she admired his positive attitude she fears false high hopes could be detrimental. "We'll just have to play it by ear," Eddie smiled. "All you need to do is relax and get your strength back. I'll take care of you now like you did me. Just leave it to me, honey."

Jamie's eyes were growing heavy again. "Eddie, my dad…who…"

"Your dad is fine," Eddie assured him. "He's in the waiting room, and Lila has taken it on herself to make sure he is doing okay."

"Lila? You told the kids." When Jamie said things like this, it made Eddie worry. That didn't make sense, of course she'd tell their kids. He had a hint of anger in his tone.

"Of course," Eddie replied. "And your family. They are in the waiting room, they wanted us to have a little alone time first."

"Don't want the kids to see me like this…" Jamie seemed to have no memory of seeing Joey the night before, but he had been very groggy and disoriented.

"Jamie, they love you. Lila is so worried, they both are honey. They need to see for themselves that you are okay."

"Not okay," Jamie snapped. "Send them home. Send them all home. I'll see them when I walk again."

"Jamie, sweetie, you aren't going to be able to walk again very soon and your entire family is waiting to see you. Erin flew back from Los Angeles early and Nikki is stuck in Boston but she'll be here as soon as she can. You won't be walking any time soon."

"Yes, I will," Jamie argued. "This is just temporary. All I need is rest and I'll be fine."

"Jamie, you won't be," Eddie sighed. 'Your arm and leg are paralyzed. You may not recover the full use…"

"Get out…" Jamie hissed.

"What?" Eddie asked, deeply surprised.

"Get out!" he shouted. "You don't believe in me getting better, get out! Don't need this from you."

Eddie wasn't sure if it was worse to let him stay upset or give into him for now, though he'd be disappointed later. Eddie chose caution and gave in to his delusion as the critical period had not yet expired.

"Okay," Eddie soothed. "Okay, Jamie you know I believe in you. I always have and if you want to get out of here and walk again, you can. I 'll help you, but the family…"

"No kids," Jamie insisted again. "Not this, not like this. Don't want them here."

Again, Eddie gave into him, if only for the time being, "Okay, Jamie. No kids yet. No kids."

Eddie went to speak to Lila while Frank and Erin visited with Jamie. "He's embarrassed honey. He doesn't want you to see him like this. He's still very groggy and adjusting to everything." Lila had tears in her eyes, her father didn't want to see her.

"I know it hurts, but we have to indulge him a little right now," Eddie replied holding her daughter's hand. "The next 48 hours are really crucial so for now, when he's sleeping you can go see him for a little bit."

Lila sighed, she knew she had no choice. She had to do what was best for her dad in the moment, even if it wasn't what was best for her.

As Frank and Erin walked to Jamie's room, he tried to prepare her. "He doesn't look that different," Frank assured Erin. "But Eddie says he's still weak and has a hard time talking."

"I can't believe this happened," Erin sighed. "Did you see how Eddie acted this morning at breakfast? Is she really angry at me that I couldn't get a flight any sooner?"

"Eddie is tired and she's scared. You two were friendly but she was never very close with you, she was always close to Linda. I think she's just concerned that you might try to mother him a little too much."

They rounded the corner to Jamie's cubicle and stepped inside. "Good morning, son," Frank greeted and kissed his cheek. "Good to see you awake. How are you feeling?"

"Tired," he slurred. "Hey, Er..."

"Jamie..." Erin's voice broke. Since their mother's death, she felt that she had to step into that role for Jamie. She always felt maternal towards her little brother. "Are you in any pain?"

"A little," he replied. "Eddie took care of that...how's LA?"

"It was good, the students were really perceptive...but you are more important. Maybe we should move this pillow and..."

"Leave them like they are," Eddie said from the door way. "The therapist and the doctor say that is what is best for him right now. I made sure he was comfortable."

Jamie looked at Eddie, she was in full mama bear mode; he always loved that about her. Frank was ignoring the female turf war and focusing on his son. "I already spoke to Peter from down the street, he says that he can add some ramps to the house and we can convert the den into a downstairs master."

"Wow, don't have much faith in me either, Dad?" Jamie asked.

"I have all the faith in the world, but no son of mine will be in rehab. You will be getting better at home with Eddie and me."

Jamie smiled, he like the idea of being home. "It'll be rough going son, but you never looked back and you won't now. Those two will fight over you like cats and dogs...and you and me. We'll work as hard as we have to work to get you walking by Lila's wedding."

Jamie's eyes misted, "I know I might not walk..."

"Crazy talk. You are a Reagan, you want to do this...you will do it. I know you will do it. We'll do it together." Frank's old but strong hand cover Jamie's younger and much weaker one. It pulled at his heart to see his boy trying to hold his hand and barely feeling anything when usually he had a strong grip. Even his good side was bad, still Jamie was patient and stubborn...lethal combination.

When Jamie woke again he complained of being hungry. Eddie buzzed his nurse who agreed to allow a few bites of oatmeal and some water. Jamie wanted to feed himself but found the task of lifting the spoon to taxing on his body. After two bites, he gave up and let Eddie take over the job.

Eddie went slowly allowing Jamie to taste each bite and let it go down his throat. He periodically choked on the creamy blend and constantly lost part of his meal out the paralyzed side of his mouth. Eddie smiled patiently each time he coughed helping him sit up by lifting his back off the mattress. When bits of food fell down his chin as it might a baby's Eddie gently cleared it away with a soft cloth.

Jamie found the splattering and dribbling the most humbling of his stroke deficits. He was embarrassed Eddie had to feed him and clean his up like she had done for their children. Still in spite of that Jamie was fighting to keep his thoughts positive and spirits high.

He fell asleep again, even swallowing oatmeal was too much on a man that could usually box ten round and still be standing. It was murder on Eddie to see that.

She kissed his head and went to check on the family. "He's sleeping for now. Lila if you want to take a peak and give him a kiss that's okay."

Lila smiled and went back to visit her father. He was still asleep when she reached his side. Lila sat on the chair beside the bed and took her father's right hand in both of hers. Lila raised it to her lips and kissed his knuckles softly. "Please get well, Dad," she prayed. "Please, I still need you to stay strong even if I am getting married."

As she finished her plea, Lila set Jamie's hand down on the mattress and studied his frail, weakened body. Jamie moaned slightly in his sleep and parted his lips slightly. A thin trickle of saliva dribbled down his chin from the left corner of his mouth, something Eddie witnessed a few times now but Lila never saw before. She leaned over and dabbed the dribble away with a soft tissue only to Jamie make another moan and dribble more, Lila dabbed it away again. For some reason, the sight of that little rivlet of saliva on her father's face caused Lila to break as she lurched forward tears and sobs like she had done at no other time in her life.

Sobbing as if in great pain, Lila buried her face in Jamie's hip using his warmth as comfort. This is how Jamie found her when he woke up an hour later.

Jamie woke this time with less confusion. He immediately recognized his surroundings and was not shocked at finding himself in a hospital bed. He was disturbed by Lila's sobbing as she sat beside him. Lila's tears always bothered him.

Lila felt Jamie's arm slowly move until his hand was on top of her hair. Gently he massaged her scalp and stroked her soft silky mane in an attempt to comfort her. "I'll be okay, kitten," he slurred. "Don't cry."

Lila lifted her head and smiled, "Hi, Dad. How are you feeling?"

"Been better," Jamie admitted. 'Very tired."

"I'll bet," Lila sighed. "I'm sorry, Dad. I had to come and see you. Mom said you didn't want to see me…"

Jamie sighed, "My pretty baby…I don't want you to see me..less than…"

"Dad,no…never," Lila said hurriedly. "I'd never see you like that…No matter how you do it, you are going to accompany me down the aisle, I will always be so proud to call you my father." It was then Jamie's turn to choke up…


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks to Lawslave for her commitment reviewing this story with me step by step and taking the time to give advice.**

 **This chapter is being posted early due to Winter Storm Jonas. If the power is on tomorrow night in my area, I will post again but if not I didn't want to miss an update. If the power is out tomorrow, the next update will be Wednesday, 1/27. If it is not out, it will be Sunday, 1/24. R/R**

Chapter Ten

Over the next few days, Jamie slept nearly around the clock. It seemed whenever he opened his eyes, Eddie was by his side. He loved her nearly constant presence and how she would always have a smile on her face. That was one of the things she loved most about her.

When their children were young, he admired how she could go to bed after they had all been asleep for hours but be the first one up in the morning making bacon and coffee. If she was nervous or on edge, it never showed. When she was sick, and suffering horrible pain, she endured it all for him and their family. She was his rock.

On the third morning he was hospitalized, he woke up and she wasn't there. In her place was his father. "Hey, Dad," Jamie greeted. "Where's Eddie?"

"Lila made her go to her yearly," Frank replied. "So I volunteered to sit with you."

Jamie smiled, "No offense but this seems a little reversed."

"I was thinking the same thing, but there's a plan, Son. Always a plan, you know that."

Before Jamie could respond the door opened and his neurologist, Dr. O'Shea entered. "Good morning, Commissioner. Where is your lovely wife this morning?"

"At her own doctor's appointment," Jamie told him carefully moving his mouth so his words were clear.

"Your speech is sounding clearer today," Dr. O'Shea observed. "That's excellent news. It tells me your difficulty in that area was primarily due to paralysis of the facial muscles and jaw and is not related to your brain."

Jamie smiled, "That is good news. I'd like you to meet my, Dad."

Frank shook the doctor's hand, "Good to meet you."

Dr. O'Shea took Frank's hand, "Likewise. If you don't mind stepping back, I'm going to examine the Commissioner.

Frank stood off to the side as Dr. O'Shea put Jamie through a series of moves, requesting him to press against his hand with his face, repeat a string of complicated tongue twisters, try to keep his left arm level when the doctor lifted it, and finally sip water from a cup and swallow. Jamie completed the first task well enough, struggled through the second, outright failed the third, and battled with the last. He managed to extract the water well enough though a fair amount dripped out of his mouth and down his chin. What he managed to keep in his mouth he swallowed with only slight difficulty.

Jamie coughed on the liquid and blushed with embarrassment when Frank wiped his chin, but in spite of that he realized what he had just done.

Dr. O'Shea was smiling too. "That is a very good sign, Commissioner. In time you will more than likely regain all of your swallowing and speaking capabilities. For a stroke like yours, this is a terrific outcome."

Frank and Jamie exchanged looks then said in unison, "But…"

Dr. O'Shea sighed, "But the hemiplegia appears to be severe. You have retained some control over your fingers and your hand, but have none over your arm and your leg. You also have very high blood pressure, and while we are treating that with medication it will complicate your ability to regain use of your paralyzed limbs."

"What about my therapy?" Jamie asked. "I will work hard. I will work very hard…" As Jamie's voice rose so did the numbers on his BP monitor. Dr. O'Shea rushed to order medication while Frank moved to Jamie's side and spoke clearly and gently to his son while stroking his back, "Slow, Jamie. Breathe very deep and slow. Calm down now. I'm here…It's all okay, Focus, think, and breathe, that's the way."

Jamie's breathing slowed with Frank's direction and soothing touch. As Jamie watch his father's lips say those hypnotic words he tried in vain to match his father's calm and steady rhythm.

Jamie's breath started to even out, Dr. O'Shea's voice broke in, "Commissioner, are you feeling better now?"

"My head hurts on both sides and my body feel heav…" Jamie's speech trailed off as his eyes drifted closed. The last word he'd said had been extremely slurred.

"What happened?" Frank demanded fear evident on his face and in his voice.

"I'm not sure," replied Dr. O'Shea. "Could be he over taxed himself or it could be there's been or is about to be another event."

"How do you find out? Frank asked fearing Eddie's reaction if Jamie did suffer a second stroke on his watch.

"Well, we don't find out just now because he is not stable," Dr. O'Shea replied. "We'll do a CT scan once his pressure levels off more but for now I'm going to err on the side of caution and begin medical intervention. If there is a second event forming it should help relieve the pressure and minimize the damage."

"What if it's not a second stroke, will the medication be harmful?" Frank asked.

"Not as harmful as not using it," the doctor explained. "Your grandson, I'm sure would clarify that. This is precisely what I was trying to explain to your son. The potential damage associated with severe elevations of blood pressure could hinder his recovery. He's young, so he might make great strides in the physical aspects of therapy, but the impact on his vitals could be very negative."

"So what is your solution?" Frank asked. 'He stays like this? He stays paralyzed, not my boy!"

"It is one option, yes," Sean said from the doorway. "Grandpa, it really is one that many people in Uncle Jamie's position make and live out their days in facilities designed…"

"You know your aunt will never even consider that for a minute!" Frank said firmly. "She'll be dead herself first."

"Grandpa, I know Aunt Eddie…but if Uncle Jamie does not recover his mobility, he'll need a tremendous amount of care."

Dr. O'Shea spoke up, "Sometimes the spouses, when they are still relatively young, prefer to move on…

A muted moan from Jamie deterred any further conversation and calmed the anger welling up inside Frank's chest. All three men turned to look at Jamie who lay in the bed blinking, looking around seemingly confused.

Frank hurried to the bed, "Hey, Son," he said softly, very clearly and deliberately. "You okay."

" ?" Jamie slurred the clarity he'd gained in his speech gone now.

"No, Jamie…" Frank corrected. "It's Dad. Eddie is at her doctor."

"Eddie," Jamie said again, weakly grasping at Frank's arm with his right hand. The movement were more spastic, less focused but it did not seem difficult for him. "Eddie."

"Jamie," Frank said firmly. "Jamie, look at Dad, son. Eddie is at the doctor now, she'll be back later."

"Doctor," Jamie said slowly.

"That's right," Frank affirmed. "Eddie had to go to the doctor. She had a check-up."

Dr. O'Shea joined Frank at Jamie's side. "His pressure is down we're going to take him for a quick CT and see what's going on."

Frank agreed, "When can we address the rest of the issue we were discussing? There way to handle his recovery."

"Once we determine if he did have a second event we'll know better what we're dealing with and we will set a time for the physical therapist, your daughter-in-law, and me to go over that," Dr. O'Shea replied. "For now, you can get a coffee in the cafeteria while we do the scan."

"I'd rather go with him," Frank said knowing that's what Eddie would want him to do.

"Of course," Sean said before Dr. O'Shea could protest. "This way."

Eddie sat in her oncologist's office with Lila at her side. Since she had beaten her cancer Jamie had been at each appointment. He always sat at her side and held her hand until the results were read. Today, Lila was there to do that but it wasn't the same.

"You okay?" Lila asked her keeping a warm hand on her mother's arm.

"Yeah, I'm fine, honey. Just thinking about your dad…" Eddie sighed. She didn't want Lila to know how upset she was about Jamie.

"Yeah, he's always come to this with you, but I'm really glad you asked me to come. I'm sure they'll say you are fine."

The doctor came in five minutes later, "Hi, Eddie. Where's Jamie today? Big city business?"

"Oh, no…his DCPI did a good job of squelching this but, Jamie had a stroke four days ago," Eddie replied. "He's in St. Victor's, you remember my daughter Lila."

After the introductions were made the doctor sat down, "Well, your PET scan and MRI came back clear which is great news, but your CEA-125 came back high, so I want to repeat all your test just to be sure. If you took the CEA…yes you did, it could be impacted by stress, but it's better safe than sorry."

Eddie's breath caught, "That test best be wrong, Doc because if it isn't…My husband is across town, lying in a hospital bed. I cannot be sick now, so do what you have to do. "

"We'll repeat the PET scan and the CEA-125, we'll do both tests this morning. That's why we keep you monitored every year, if there's a problem we can catch it and treat it. For now, just relax, try not to worry about his. It's probably just a false positive."

Even with the doctor's assurance, Eddie was nervous. Her hand was shaking inside of Lila's as they headed to the car after the tests.

"Dad is going to figure it out," Eddie sighed. "And he doesn't need that kind of strain."

"So don't tell him," Lila suggested. "Until we know for sure."

"No, I can't do that to him again." Eddie sighed, "Sweetie you were only four but the last time I was sick, I lied to your dad for over a week and it really hurt him and it really hurt our marriage. We got through it but I made him a promise. I can't hide from him again. I won't."

Eddie called Frank to tell him they were on their way back to the hospital. Given what had happened to Jamie a few hours earlier, Frank thought it prudent to meet his daughter-in-law and granddaughter at the entrance to Jamie's unit.

"Frank?" Eddie asked feeling instantly nervous at seeing him there. "Is he okay?"

"He's fine now," Frank replied. "He had a little setback, he got himself upset at his prognosis and the doctor was worried he had another stroke but the CT is clean. He is okay, he just ate his lunch. Erin is cleaning him up now."

Eddie pushed past Frank hurrying to Jamie's side. Erin was washing his face for him and his hands like she did when he was sticky at five years old. "I'll take it from here, thanks," Eddie said moving to the side of Jamie's bed taking the cloth in her hand even as Erin moved it to wipe Jamie's right arm.

"Oh, it's fine, he's my little brother. That lunch was really good too, tuna salad and a cup of chicken broth. Jamie did very well swallowing that, didn't you?"

Jamie smiled, "I passed that test already. Good to eat something substantial."

"I'm sure it was." Eddie sat on the bed and kissed him. "That felt good. I think your lips are coming back." She didn't want to discuss anything further in front of Erin. "Did you eat by yourself?"

Erin spoke up for him, "Oh he was too tired for that so I helped him."

"He's supposed to be feeding himself, he's right handed and his right side is not affected," Eddie sighed. "Jamie, you know you won't get your strength back at all if you don't use your good side. I know the stroke weakened it but you have to try. I need you to try."

Jamie caught something in her eyes, "Erin, can you go and get Eddie some tea but from the shop she likes on Madison?"

"Jamie, that will take over a half hour…" Erin caught her brother's stern look. "Sure, I'll get you a cup of vanilla mint too." Erin kissed Jamie's head and left he and Eddie to talk.

"I heard about what happened," Eddie sighed. "Are you okay now?"

"Yeah…I had a hard time breathing and I blacked out but…they said I didn't have another. I'm okay." Jamie lifted her hand and kissed it. "Tell me…"

Eddie looked down at their joined hands, "You are already having to face so much. I don't want to add more to it but…I saw today and my blood tests, the CEA, it came back high."

Jamie shut his eyes and took a breath, not again. "Oh, baby…" He kissed her hand again and again. "I wish I was there for you. I'm sorry. What did he say?"

"We did another blood panel and another PET scan. The scan was clean so he's looking to see if the blood panel is wrong or if the PET scan is wrong. We'll know in a few days. I didn't want to stress you out any more but I didn't want to betray you…"

"Ssh," Jamie hushed her. "I'm glad you told me. I promise you, Eddie. Those doctors be damned, I'm walking again and I am holding you tight all night again too. Screw my blood pressure, I am going to work so hard. I will walk our girl down the aisle and if you are sick I will nurse you through just like before."

Eddie knew Jamie meant well but she also knew that he was overreaching. The chances of him ever walking again unassisted were slim. She remembered back to the talk with his doctor the night he had the stroke.

 **Eddie sat down in a leather chair. Sean had paged the top neurologist at the hospital to oversee his uncle's case. Dr. Aiden O'Shea was the best in the business. He spoke calmly and quietly confirming Sean's diagnosis of stroke.**

" **Will he be all right?" Eddie asked. "I mean, will he be able to recover any…"**

" **Mrs. Reagan, as much as we know about stroke and the brain's ability to relearn and readapt after these attacks, we still can't judge how an individual person will respond…" Dr. O'Shea replied. "The first step in any stroke case is seeing the patient through the critical hours, normally the first 72 hours. If they pull through that…"**

" **Whoa, wait a minute," Eddie interjected. "Are you saying Jamie might die? That he could be dying now while we sit here?"**

" **Mrs. Reagan, please calm down," Dr. O'Shea tried to soothe her. "With any stroke caused by sever spike in blood pressure there is always a risk it can reoccur. We are trying to manage that with medication to make sure it doesn't happen again. Overall, the risk of recurrenc in the first 72 hours is under 35% with TPA and other drugs. He's in good hands."**

" **Everyone keeps saying that," Eddie sighed. "Do you know the extent of the damage? Sean mentioned his motor skills…"**

" **That's correct, and that will present a few problems. With his blood pressure issues, his ability to rehabilitate will be limited. He may not be able to withstand the level of physical therapy he'll need. He's experiencing complete hemiplegia on the left side and likely he'll have some speech and swallowing problems but I'm hope those will be mechanical more than anything. The recovery rate depends a lot on the individual patient and as I'm sure you know on the support of the caregivers."**

" **If love and support could heal my husband, doctor, he'll be ready to go home tomorrow," Eddie sighed. "I'd like to go back to him."**

Eddie squeezed Jamie's hand, "I love you so much." She took his left hand in hers, he wore his ring on his finger even though the hand was swollen. She kissed the gold, "For better or worse, for richer or poor, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live. You reaffirmed those vows to me when I was sick, it's no different now. No matter what you need, if you need care for the rest of your life, I will be there. I am all in, no matter what."

Jamie reached up and touched her face, "Me too. If we are going again, I am in. I am all in." He leaned in and offered a long sweet kiss.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Thanks to Lawslave for working through some of the kinks in this chapter and letting me bounce ideas off her.

Chapter Eleven

Eddie and Jamie did their best to focus on his recovery and not her test results. They kept it to themselves for the time being, Lila agreeing not to share it with anyone even her fiancé. Jamie was moved to a step down floor a week after his stroke. Danny, Erin, and Frank were at the hospital nearly constantly. The only one there more was Eddie. Lila had school and Joey was working. They would come by once a day for a little while.

Erin seemed to come around meal times. Eddie would start Jamie off eating on his own, then if he got tired step in and feed him. While Eddie was discarding the trash, Erin would help Jamie clean up, though, he was tired. Erin's version of helping was to just do it for him. Eddie bit her lip on it because she didn't want to upset Jamie, but he sensed the growing tension between his wife and his sister.

One Friday night, while they rested in Jamie's bed together, Jamie broached the subject. "Eddie…I know you want me to do my best. I know you want me to try hard and get better. I want that too, but this is hard on Erin too. After Mom died, she stepped up and was like my mother. It's hard on her to see me like this."

"It's hard on me to see you like this too," Eddie almost snapped. "But I want you to get well, not stay like this forever. If you don't use what works, honey, you won't recover."

"Still, I wish you'd be a little easier on Erin," Jamie sighed. "What is it with you two? Since the graduation party you've been sniping at each other."

"It goes back a long way Jamie," I sigh. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"I do," he replied. 'Tell me honey. If she upset you, I want to know."

"Do you remember back before we got married?" Eddie asked sitting up so she could look Jamie directly in the eye. "That night, after the rehearsal, I was going to stay with Linda in Staten Island and you were staying at your house. I heard her, I heard everything she said that night."

It still hurt as if Eddie just over heard the words that moment. "The things she said about my dad, that I was going to hold you back in your advancement even more than being a Reagan. I think I remember that she said I didn't have the class to help push you forward. I wasn't good enough for her baby brother."

Jamie sighed, "You held that in all these years? Twenty eight years…Eddie…" Jamie sighed and cupped her cheek. "Did you hear what I said to her?"

Eddie shook her head admitting she didn't hear. Jamie lifted her chin, "Look at me. I told her this then and I'll say it now…" Eddie knew how hard it was for him to be talking so much but the more he did it, the more his speech cleared up making it easier to understand him. "I told her that I was going to marry you that I was going to put that ring on your finger and make you Mrs. Jamison Reagan. I told her that I didn't care about 1PP, that I didn't want to be commissioner. All I wanted was to marry the love of my life and I did it." Jamie kissed Eddie's hands, "And she told me, that she was happy for me, if you made me that happy she'd have to love you. She does love you, sweetheart, in her way. But it's like me and Steven, he's the man that took my baby away, you're the lady that took me away…She really mothered me after I lost Mom. There's something else though." Jamie could read his wife too well.

Eddie sighed, "When I was sick, I went to Erin for help. Legal help. I wanted papers drawn for the kids and…she referred me, she didn't help me and keep it in the family. Then I was having such a hard time, I needed her to just support me the way you and Linda did, and your dad…"

"And you felt that she didn't because…"

"She didn't because I was doing it without you. We never made a loyalty her and me, a female loyalty that I have with Linda. The male loyalty you have with your brother."

Jamie nodded, "So this old wound, it got reopened how?"

"Steven's graduation party," Eddie replied. "After they announced. I overheard her talking to Lila…"

" **It'll be so much fun, we can go shopping for a dress and flowers…" Erin was saying. She didn't get to plan Nikki's wedding, she had eloped. Eddie was in the kitchen cleaning up as they talked.**

" **Yes, and you know the best shops too, Aunt Erin," Lila gushed. "Oh, can you call that friend of yours for me, the one that does the videos, I want to do videos of me and Steven through our lives and dating during the first dance."**

 **Eddie felt her heart ache. Erin was Lila's godmother, they had a close relationship, but this was her moment. This was her little girl that she carried, that she raised side by side with Jamie. This was their time with their daughter before she left their home, but here was Erin already pushing.**

 **Eddie continued to clean up, without the promised help from Erin and Lila. Linda saw her face, "She's just excited, Eddie. We will make this very special all of us together if you want. I'm so happy for Lila and Steven, even if he is a fireman."**

 **Eddie forced a laugh, "Jamie is dying over that one, but he knows Steven is Lila's Jamie. He knows that she loves him and he loves her."**

 **Lila came into the room, "Mom, Aunt Erin said she could get me an appointment for my dress at Kleinfeld's. Can you imagine one of those gorgeous gowns on me?"**

 **Eddie felt her heart drop, they had money but a Kleinfeld gown…that was ridiculous expensive and totally impractical. That wasn't Erin's place, it just wasn't. "Aunt Erin says that a lot of important people will come because of Dad and Grandpa and that my dress has to make a statement."**

 **Eddie nodded, "We'll shop around honey, and we'll find the perfect gown sweetie." Eddie kissed her head and tried to tune out her excited ramblings about a designer gown.**

"We can't afford a $10,000.00 dress and filet mignon and those kinds of things. We have the money we need to give her a nice reasonable wedding."

"I know honey," he replied. "And Lila will understand all that, she was just excited…"

"You don't understand Jamie. That's my time with my daughter, that's a special mother and daughter time that I didn't get to have with my mom. Time that I want to have with me and Lila," Eddie sighed. "Since that day, maybe even before that day, I never felt good enough for you in her eyes. Now I'm not good enough to give my daughter a beautiful wedding and apparently not even good enough to take care of you. She makes me feel small, Jamie. And I'm sorry I'm not going to compete with her for you or Lila."

"I'll talk to her," Jamie sighed. "You do not have to feel like this, Eddie. You are my wife and Lila's mother and that is first. I will talk to her."

Eddie felt confident that Jamie would do as he promised her. "Now, let's talk about Tuesday. I am going to talk to the doctor about my being with you when you get your results. I'm stronger, I can go in a wheelchair bus and sit there and hold your hand."

"Jamie, no." Eddie sighed, her heart warmed by how dedicated he was to her even now. "You are not well enough, your blood pressure is not stable enough. You cannot leave this hospital for any reason, okay?"

Jamie felt angry, he was working so hard to get well and be able to go home to his family. He felt he'd recover better in his own bed, just like Frank had told him he would. He made a mental note to send for Joey to be there for his mother and speak to Danny about the modifications being made to the house. Jamie knew his older brother was helping make the two story house accessible for him as he recovered.

Jamie changed the subject to sports and the negotiations that were still ongoing but now in the hands of his support staff. "We're closer," Eddie assured him. 'Actually after your stroke, more than half the sick officers had sudden recoveries."

Jamie smiled, "Some good has come from this then I see." He was getting tired and his eyes were closing.

"You're sleepy, try to rest, you have PT a little later. I'll come to help you shower after all right?"

Jamie thought a minute, "Send Joey. I need to talk to him, he hasn't been up to see me in a couple of days and I need to speak to him honey."

Eddie nodded, she was disappointed with her son for not being more mindful of seeing his father. "I'll have him come here after your therapy and when you two are done talking I'll get you showered. I don't like when the nurses do it because they don't make sure you're dried off right. I know you hate to be damp at all after 28 years." Eddie kissed his head.

"Jamie, you know as much as I push you to get well, to do the therapy, you can say quit and I'll understand, you know that right?"

Jamie nodded half asleep already, "I know that baby. Will you stay just a little more until I fall asleep?"

Eddie knew she's only be there a split second, but she agreed and held his good hand until his grip relaxed. Three point four seconds after his sweet request.

For the last week, Jamie's physical therapy consisted mostly of massages. The therapist would rub his paralyzed leg and arm stimulating the circulation and the muscles there. Yesterday and today, he had been doing some more work. When he woke from his nap, Eddie was gone, and Callie, his therapist was there. "How about we surprise your wife and get you sitting up in a chair today?" she asked. "We are going to work on balance and helping you to find your center. Your stroke is making you lean to the right, and not only is that bad for your back and rib cage, it looks pathetic. We can't have the Commissioner of New York's police looking pathetic."

Jamie laughed as Callie adjusted his bed then showed him how to turn. "Put all your weight on your right hand and your right foot and use the side to push and turn yourself towards the right until you're lying sideways."

Jamie listened carefully and followed her directions. After a few false starts and a lot of grunting and grinding he made it to that position. "Now, focus on your center…and use your abdominals to pull up as straight as you can."

Eddie was in the hallway listening having returned from a quick coffee with Linda and Danny. Danny reported that as soon as he heard Jamie was going home he'd have the ramp put in outside and help get the study converted to a bedroom for Jamie and Eddie. She liked that they would be in the same bed again, she missed that. After 28 years they still held one another at night and cuddled in the morning on the weekends. It was special.

Eddie pulled out her phone and called Joey. "Hey Mom," Joey replied sounding somewhat cheerful. "What's going on?"

"Not much, Dad's doing his PT right now but he wants you to come by the hospital as soon as possible, he wants to talk to you," Eddie told him. "He asked for you to do this, Joe, but I'm telling you to do it."

"Mom, I was there a couple days ago, he's doing a lot better, and I'm better to him on the streets," Joe protested.

"Maybe but today he asked for you to be here, he wants to speak to you alone and I am telling you that you will honor his wishes."

Joey smiled, his mother's claws were out and sharpened. "Okay I'll be by in a half hour. You need anything, a sandwich or anything? Can Dad eat that salad he likes or no?"

"Yeah, he can eat that," Eddie replied. "And some of that tea we like too. Thanks honey."

Eddie hung up and listened to Callie give instructions. She knew she'd need those same hints for Jamie to get around at home. She was strong but he was still muscular and she'd have a hard time moving him about in bed.

Joey arrived with two cups of chai tea and salad for his dad. Callie was just leaving the room, "You can go in now, Eddie. Jamie has a surprise for you."

"Callie, this is our Joseph. He works out of Jamie's old precinct." Eddie patted Joey's back. "Let's go see your dad then the two of you can talk."

Eddie took the salad and Joey carried the tea. They were both surprised and happy to see Jamie sitting up in the hospital chair. His legs were elevated and his arm braced on the arm but he smiled. "Joey…I'm glad you came."

Joey was happy to hear Jamie's speech clearing up. "You sound so good, Dad. I got you that salad you like with the cheese and stuff in it. I asked them to cut it up small for you so you can get it down."

Jamie's heart was warmed by that gesture. "Eddie, can you please let me speak to Joey alone?" Jamie asked. He had to tell him about his mother and get him to help.

Eddie kissed Jamie's cheek, "Chew carefully okay," she reminded him then left to let him talk to their son alone. "Sit down, Joe."

Jamie took a deep breath, "Joey, I need you to take off day after tomorrow and go to the doctor with your mother. I want to be there but I can't and you're our son…You and I have discussed before if something happened to me."

"Yeah, we did, Dad but…" Joey began but Jamie cut him off.

"It might be back, Joe. She had a positive blood test, the cancer might be back,' Jamie said his voice breaking and losing so much of its strength. "If it is I want you to be at her side since I can't be there and bring her immediately to me after, do you understand?"

"Dad, yeah, of course I will but…"

"It's not definite, Joe but it's possible," Jamie sighed. "She's so tired here with me all the time and I'm worried about her. Take care of her for me, Joey. She needs that so badly now. Not us at odds. I know you hate me, but this is your mother."

"I don't…" Joey's voice broke as he heard Jamie say he hated him. "I don't hate you, Dad, I'm just upset at you right now but…Mom is number one for me you know that. I have her. You get well for her and I'll take good care of her until you do."

As they talked Jamie lost some of his posture. He was slumping over to his side and not sitting up straight. Joey hated how that looked, "Dad, let's get you a couple of pillows and prop you up before Mom comes back in." It upset Joey to see his father that way, leaning over without the ability to correct it, he could only imagine what the same sight would to do Eddie.

Joey got pillows and corrected Jamie's body, "There, I have to go but, don't worry about Mom anymore, I'll take care of her." Joey patted Jamie's good hand and headed out the door.

Joey and Eddie sat in the doctor's office. Joe was ill at ease, the memories of his mother's bout with cancer when he was 7 still fresh in his mind. He remembered how hard she tried to be there for him, but he also remembered peeking into his parent's room, late at night, watching his father cry as he watched Eddie sleeping so uneasily from the pain she was suffering. He knew most of that was her medication, that she was so sick from trying to get better, but he couldn't shake the memories.

 **Eddie was lying in their bed, just out of the hospital after vicious flu virus had attacked her already frail body. She'd had her chemotherapy that day, her first after being sick. The pain in her joints plagued her even in sleep. Jamie was afraid to lie down in the bed. He was afraid he's jostle the bed and cause her more pain. It seemed that was her life now, nothing but pain.**

 **She turned in bed and moaned, "Ssh, baby." He soothed. "Ssh, I'm here." His voice seemed to soothe her, but nothing soothed him. She was so sick now, and looked it. There was nothing that he could do but sit and pray.**

 **As he watched her toss her head and make small pitiful noises Jamie felt his heart ache. No amount of hand holding, facing washing or soft words could stop her pain. He felt his throat ache and started to cry. This was his time to let it go. He was surprised when he heard little feet and felt Joey's little arms go around him.**

" **Don't cry, Daddy," she said hugging him as tight as he could. "Mommy is getting better, you said."**

 **Jamie was so ashamed crying in front of his son, "Joseph, what are you doing standing in the door way like that? You are supposed to be in bed, not standing in the doorway spying on your mother."**

" **But I wasn't…" Joey protested. "I heard…"**

" **Get in bed!" Jamie ordered getting up to take him back to his room. "Mommy is sick and needs her rest, you get back in bed."**

 **All he wanted to do was give his Daddy a hug…that's all he wanted to do. Daddy loved to hug, at least he did. Now he didn't love anything, not from him. He loved Mommy and he loved Lila but he didn't love him, not anymore…**

"I'm sure it's okay, Joseph, stop worrying," Eddie implored him. "Between you and your father, you worry way too much."

"He's taking a long time," Joe sighed. "Dad's going to get himself all worked up if we take too long and they said..."

"Dad has sat with me over three hours to hear I was clean because they were backed up, it's okay, he'll understand. Why don't you go get some air and I'll text..." The doctor came in before Eddie could finish.

"How are you feeling Eddie?" he asked sitting down with her file.

"Fine, I'm a little tired spending so much time at the hospital with Jamie, but he's doing much better. He's been sitting up now in the afternoons and he's eating better and on his own much more." Eddie was so proud of Jamie she was beaming.

"That is very good news, I'm so happy to hear that." The doctor opened her file. "Well, the results from today are the same as the ones we did last time. The PET scan and CT are clean, but you blood panel is still elevated and off. I think it's prudent to get you started on some chemoprevention medication. If there is something cooking in there we want to kill it now."

Eddie sighed, she didn't need this now. "And if I don't choose to take the medication and just wait..."

"If you choose not to take the pills and wait we run the risk of whatever is there now becoming bigger and requiring something more invasive."

"Mom" Joey said quickly. "You have to take the pills, Dad will flip out if you don't take it."

"Joey, those pills make you feel so tired and sick. And they make you gain a lot of weight. I need to be in the best shape I can when Dad gets home. The pictures are clear, honey."

"Mom, if you just let it go until the picture isn't clear and you have to go through the Hell again...and maybe this time you don't make it. Dad will die then too, he won't be able to handle seeing you suffer again or God forbid losing you!" Joey didn't realize he was screaming at his mother. If Jamie heard him speaking like this it wouldn't matter if he was 24 he'd take him over his knee. "You're being ridiculous and stupid!"

"Joseph!" Eddie gasped. She was already feeling so much emotion at this news and her fears for Jamie, she didn't need her son snapping at her in front of the doctor no less.

"Perhaps I should give you two sometime."

"No, time is necessary. My father asked me to take care my mother. She'll take that medication you were talking about if that's what you think she needs to do. If it makes her sick, then we'll find someone or someplace to care for Dad until she can do it."

There were very few times in her life where Eddie could do nothing but sit and cry, but this was one of them. She grudgingly took the script from the doctor and was instructed to repeat her blood panel in two weeks' time.

All the way to the hospital Eddie worried about Jamie. How could she go in there and tell him this news? That she was going back on the medication was one thing but Joey having embarrassed her that way, too. Joey was remorseful on the drive over.

"I'm sorry, Mom, I really am," he said trying to give her a hug. "I just...it is silly to risk yourself. Dad won't want you to risk yourself for him, you know that. I don't want to lose you or him either." His words were falling on deaf ears for the moment.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Eddie was still shaken when they arrived and parked at the hospital. Joey tried to hold her arm and lead her inside, but she refused to let him touch her. Jamie had just been given his lunch and Erin was there giving him a bath. "Erin, I want to do this myself," Jamie told her even though he was wiped out from a hardcore therapy session. "It's upsetting Eddie that you are doing this for me and I don't want her upset right now."

"Jamie, you aren't well," Erin sighed. "You need to get your strength back and you won't getting so tired."

Jamie reached up and stilled the rag, "Erin, she feels like she isn't good enough. Not for me, not for Lila…She is my wife and she is Lila's mother and she is damn sure good enough to get me through this. I want it to stop, this little war between you, it is done now." Jamie's tone was firm, Erin knew he meant business.

"What war?" Erin asked pulling on the wash rag and continuing to clean up Jamie's face. "You are getting stubbly. After this I'll get a razor and…"

"Erin, I have a nurses to do that," Jamie said. "Listen to me, you might not feel the tension, but Eddie does. Did you really promise Lila a Kleinfeld gown?"

"I didn't promise," Erin protested. "I just told her I had a friend there. That I'd take her and…"

"Eddie heard you," Jamie replied. "She heard you and you didn't even include her, the mother of the bride, in your decision."

"That's never been up her ally, she's always been the tomboy, she'd rather play ball than cook and…"

"Stop trying to defend it. Nikki eloped, you are trying to make up for it, and that's fine. You want to help, great. I'd love that, but Eddie is Lila's mother, this is their special moment." Jamie softened his voice. "You had that with Mom, those times and Eddie never did with her mom, he mom was gone before…I want her to have it with Lila. If you can't do it for Eddie, do it for me. That will help me get well more than wiping my face or cutting my meat."

"Jamie, I didn't mean to overstep. Eddie and I are fine, we never were really close but…" Before Erin could finish the hospital door opened and Joey popped his head in. "Dad…we're here are you ready for her?" he asked.

"Yeah, I am finished here…" Jamie looked at Erin. She was upset but he had to focus on his wife. When he saw her face his heart dropped, "Oh baby…" He reached out with his good arm for Eddie to collapse into his chest. She was slow and hesitant to come to him. "It's okay angel," he whispered when she reached the bed. "It's okay, we'll get through it. It's okay." Jamie closed his good arm around Eddie and started to gently stroke her trying to soothe her.

Eddie was crying too hard to speak to Jamie so he looked at Joey for answers. "It's my fault, Dad. I yelled at her and she just go all upset. They wanted her on pills until they know more and Mom said no…I got really angry and I yelled at her. I'm sorry I hurt her feelings but this might be her life…" Joey felt like a child again as he waited for his father to scold him.

"It's all right, she's just scared. Thank you for stepping up..." Jamie smiled at Joey then gave Eddie his full attention once again. "So it's not back?"

She sniffled, "Maybe, he wants me to take pills, the chemo pills, until we know incase. I don't want to do that again…"

"I know, but is only the pill and it's only for a little bit." Jamie kissed her hair and held her tight. He knew this was way more than a silly pill but for now he'd let her cry herself out. Then and only then would really get to the bottom of it.

Jamie rubbed Eddie's back fighting the fatigue that was mounting and threatening to send him to sleep. His wife needed his full attention now. After a few more minutes of sobbing into his chest, Eddie's body stilled. Jamie peered down at her from his position in the bed, she'd cried herself to sleep. Jamie looked up to see Joey still hovering in the doorway.

"Joe, put her all the way up here with me…" Jamie asked. "Then tell me everything from the beginning. It's not like her to get so upset."

Joey lifted his mother's legs on to the bed and Jamie put his covers over her. Joey sighed, "I screwed up. When she started resisting the medication I lost my temper, I yelled and I told her she was being stupid. I embarrassed her in front of the doctor. I just got so scared that she would be careless with her health."

Jamie nodded, "I understand son, I do. You always had such a…special place for her…" Jamie stroked Eddie's hair, his speech faltering as he grew more tired. "Don't want to watch her suffer again."

Joey nodded, "No, I don't. I just think that she's putting you ahead of herself. If she's too sick from the chemo to take care of you, Uncle Danny can do it or we can get a nurse in to do it or whatever."

"If she's sick again, I will take care of her. I'll resign and I will make her my focus like I should have done all those years ago. I should have done that…" Joey looked at how his father looked at his mother. Would he ever find love like that? Would he ever have the total willingness to give up his life, his comfort, everything for someone else?

"I'm sure she's going to be fine, Dad," Joey replied. "I have some errands to run but I'll come back in a little bit to take Mom home. She needs what she's getting now more than anything else I think." Joey shifted from one foot to the other.

"Thank you, Joe, for taking care of her for me. I…" Jamie sighed so tired he was running out of words.

"No problem, Dad. I'll talk to you later." Joey left his parents to rest.

Joey filled Eddie's prescription, swung by his grandpa's to check the progress on the ramp and the move and even pitched in to help get his parent's clothing to the first floor. Lila arrived while he was helping. She was upset at him for now seeing his father more. "Nice to see you doing something to help Mom and Dad," she snipped as she brought in a bag of groceries for Frank.

"Don't start," Joey replied. "I came from seeing Dad and I'm going to pick mom up after they call to say they are ready."

"Oh, what happened to Mom's car?" Lila asked. "Did it break down again? I thought Dad fixed it."

"Mom went to see Dr. McLean today," Joey replied. "To get the rest of her results. She starts preventative therapy tomorrow morning. She took it hard and cried herself to sleep in Dad's arms. He fell asleep holding her so I'm leaving them there until they call for me."

Lila gasped and sat down. "He said the last time she was going to be okay. Did they say where the cancer is?"

"No, it's not showing on the screenings just on the blood test so they want to be safe. Mom was against doing it, I had to basically force her and I think I really upset her." Joey grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. "But Dad didn't flip out on me or anything. It's as if, in some odd way, the stroke mellowed him out."

"Joe, you've always though Dad didn't like you or something stupid like that, I remember the two of your when we were younger. He never missed game, he was there every time you got in trouble."

"I suppose," Joey sighed. "But he never let me be there for him. I always admired that about Grandpa and Dad, Grandpa and Uncle Danny…"

"There were plenty of times when we didn't see eye to eye, Joe," Frank chimed in as he came into the room. "Difference was if they ever spoke to me like I have heard you speak to your father and mother I'd have put them over my knee and tanned their hides grown men or not. I taught my sons to respect me and their elders. I know your father taught you the same lesson. I know you feel he let you down, I let him down time and time again, but that's no excuse."

Frank poured some coffee and sat down. "I understand that you're upset. Your father is sick now, he needs help. Your mother needs help, she's strong but she's of small stature, she's not going to be able to lift…"

"I'm going to help Mom," Lila told Frank. "Joey can't, he'll lose his temper and he's needed at work. Dad will worry less if he knows Joey and Jack are at least on the job."

Joey got up, "If you are done blaming me for everything, I'm going to finish moving their stuff so when they let dad out he can be comfortable in his own bed. I don't hate our father, Lila…I don't!"

Jamie's words from earlier were still plaguing Joey. His father thought he hated him. Their last conversations had been snide and heated but he loved his father very much. Still, he couldn't help but feel that feeling wasn't returned. Lila was Jamie's pride and joy, he was the screw up.

Lila looked at her grandpa, "We have to find a way to help them fix it Pop," she sighed. "Dad's not going to get better without Joey. He needs all of us."

"He'll have all of us, don't you worry honey,' Frank patted her hand. "Let's get some stew and soups started. When your dad gets out he's going to need food that is easy to swallow and will give him strong nutrients to get well. That's a gift we can give to him and your mother."

Meanwhile, back at the hospital Eddie was starting to stir. Jamie still held her close to him as she opened her eyes and sat up. Jamie felt Eddie's movement and pushed her back with strength in his good arm. "No, I like you here,' he said softly.

"I know but I have to move, I'm getting stiff," Eddie replied. "I'm not 20 anymore. Heck, I'm not 40 anymore. I'm sorry about before."

"Why are you sorry? That had to be hard to take especially with Joey flying off the handle at you."

"How did you…" Eddie asked. She didn't want him to know that.

"Joe told me," Jamie replied. "He told me everything, that he lost his temper with you, he thinks he made you cry…"

Eddie shook her head, "I just…"

"It's hard to take and I'm useless to you like this." He turned his head away, he was disgusted with himself for lying in a hospital bed when his wife might be sick again. "Joey had the right idea about getting someone to take care of me. You aren't big on it being Erin so maybe Dr. O'Shea can get us the name of a place…"

"I am taking care of you. You are my husband and I will be the one that is taking care of you. I will not put you in a hospital. I love you too much."

"Eddie, we will get through this together," Jamie promised. "We will take care of each other. This is a partnership same as it was 28 years ago. I have your back you have mine. Now, I'm hungry again, I think we slept through supper. What about getting me some decent food, this stuff here is horrible."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Over the next week, Jamie's physical therapy intensified. Callie had him moving himself about in the bed, he was becoming expert and getting himself into the sitting position to be transferred to the hospital chair. So far, Callie had been doing the transferring him from the bed to the chair, but the last day or two had been training Eddie to do it for him. Eddie had begun her medication regimen the day after her appointment, and was really feeling the fatigue, still he did her best to mask that from Jamie and worked with him and his therapist, her goal, getting her husband home.

The doctor set the date of Jamie's discharge for the following Tuesday. His blood pressure was under control and his heart was producing properly. Medically, it was safe for him to leave the hospital.

The day before Jamie was set to leave, Callie arrived a little early for his therapy. He was still sleeping so she nudged him. "Rise and shine, Commissioner. Today is a big day." She smiled as she pulled a wheelchair up next to his bed. "Meet your new legs, for the time being. And trying to power the chair will help your arm too when you get more control. For now, Eddie will have to push you."

Jamie sighed, "Eddie might not have the strength for that," Jamie sighed. "She's started her preventative chemo and we'll find out soon if there's been any change. I have to be up and on my feet if she has to go back through hard core treatment. She nearly died the last time around, she was so sick somedays. I remember our kids and I, we all go the flu and she was tireless. On chemo, on radiation, and she nursed all of us."

"Your wife is a wonderful woman, I see how she is with you, a little too permissive when you say you can't do something but it's from love."

Jamie sighed, "It is. I never thought I would ever love anyone as much as my first fiancée and when she left, my heart broke. Then I met Eddie and it was like I knew that's why all of that happened, you know?"

Callie smiled, "Keep talking about your wife, it's good for you."

Jamie sighed, "Let me tell you…she's a tough cookie, my Eddie. She caught that horrible flu with her immune system being so depleted. I remember that like yesterday."

" **Hang on baby," Jamie whispered to Eddie as he carried her into the ER. He didn't go to St. Victor's, she was having so much distress he took her to the nearest hospital. "Hang on…" She was burning up with fever, but it was the gasps that scared him.**

" **I need help," Jamie said hurrying up to the nurses' station. "My wife has breast cancer and she…She's caught the flu. She can't breathe."**

 **The nurse called for a doctor and a gurney. Jamie laid Eddie on the white sheets and held her hand as she was wheeled to an examination area. "Temp 103," the doctor said. "Ralls bilaterally, get a chest film…" All of Jamie's fears were coming true.**

 **He paced the waiting room with Danny, Frank was taking care of the children. "I should have sent her away, Danny. When Lila got sick, I should have insisted that she leave her to me and Spence."**

" **Jamie, you can't stop a mother from nursing their sick baby any more than I can stop you from worrying about your sick wife, now sit down and wait for the doctor."**

 **Eddie was admitted into the hospital with viral pneumonia. When she was in her bed Jamie was allowed to see her. She was on the heated aerosol oxygen with two IVs running into already scarred veins. Jamie didn't hesitate, he went to hold her hand. "Hey sweetie." Her eyes were open and focused on him directly.**

" **Jamie." The mask muffled her words so Jamie could barely hear her weak voice.**

" **I'm here sweetheart, it's going to be all right my love…" Jamie sat on her bed and stroked her hair. "I'm so sorry baby. I'm so so sorry."**

 **Eddie reached a weak, feverish hand out from the covers and covered Jamie's, her eyes saying for her everything her lips would not allow her to say.**

 **Two days and nights Jamie sat by his wife's side. On the second night she was in such distress the doctors were talking about draining her lungs. Frank brought the children to see their mother, he didn't believe in hiding things. Jamie stopped them at the door. "Dad, no. I don't want them to see her like that, I don't want to see her like that. She's gasping for air, her lungs are filling. Please…don't push this…"**

"But for the grace of God, I'd have lost her that night," Jamie sighed. "To think we might have to go on that roller coaster again, I can't not be there for her, Callie."

"We'll get you there for her, Commissioner. Today, you get yourself in the wheelchair."

Jamie felt panic rise up in his chest, the chair by himself? He was okay making himself sit up and then leaning on Callie or Eddie with some support of his right leg. Callie secured his leg brace and held his arm. "Now, put all you weight on your right side. I have you, you won't fall, just concentrate on your weight."

"I can't do this," Jamie said firmly, his body shaking with fear and effort.

"You can, Commissioner," Callie encouraged. "You're already doing it. The wheelchair is only two paces away, that's all. Now focus your weight on your right leg and on that chair and take a step, just concentrate."

Jamie tried to do as Callie asked, but his fear crippled him just as sure as his stroke did. "No, I can't. No. Let me be, just let me be. I can't."

"Of course you can," Callie encouraged. "You can do anything you want. A stroke is only a pause on life, not a stop. You control your future, Commissioner. Now you trust me, don't you?"

"You haven't dropped me so far," Jamie laughed.

"Then trust yourself," Callie smiled. "Two steps, Commissioner. Two steps. I know you have that in you. Two steps, lead with your stronger leg and bring the weak one up beside if from the hip."

Lila was biting her lip as she watched from the open doorway. Eddie had felt too sick that morning to make it so Lila went to see Jamie in her place. She held her breath as Jamie took his first tentative steps following Callie's directions to the letter. Jamie cried out in pain and exertion as he took the first, then the second step before practically falling into the wheelchair breathless but smiling broadly.

"Way to go, Daddy!" Lila exclaimed announcing her presence rushing to give Jamie a hug. She frowned at how hard his chest was working to move air and how sweaty he was but smiled at the joy in his eyes. "Not bad for your old man, huh?" he asked patting her hands.

"Not bad at all," Lila agreed.

Jamie took a sip of the water Callie offered him and patted Lila's arm. "Where's Mom?"

"Mom's home in bed," Lila replied. "She's okay, she's all right but she's very tired and she's been throwing up all night. Grandpa made her stay home and rest, Joey's going to look in on her and make sure she is okay. I promised to come and check in on you."

Jamie sighed, "I should be there. She needs me and I'm not there."

"All she needs is some rest, Dad and a bottle of ginger ale. Mom's going to be fine and she will beam ear to ear when she sees you walking."

"I'd hardly call that walking, Lila…" Jamie sighed. "But it was a start, a good start. How about taking me for a little ride? Is that okay, Callie, can I go with my daughter for a spin in my new wheels?"

Callie smiled, "A short one. We have to work your arm…then it's lunch time. After tomorrow, Roger will be your therapist for you outpatient therapy. He's terrific, you'll be in excellent hands."

Jamie nodded and smiled, he was glad to be going home the next day, but he would miss Callie as his therapist. Still, he had to continue to get well and he wouldn't if he didn't branch out.

Lila pushed Jamie to the hospital courtyard. He hadn't had fresh air in weeks and he smiled at the aroma of the New York City streets, a combination of pretzels, pizza, garbage, and gasoline…home sweet home. "You are looking so much better, Dad," Lila told him sitting down and taking his good hand. "You know, I was talking to Steven and he and I are thinking about getting married next spring. The cherry trees will be in bloom then, the weather will be perfect. I was thinking of having the wedding at St. Catherine's but then doing the reception in Staten Island…"

Jamie smiled, "You can have your wedding where ever you want it baby. Your mom and I have the money to give you a nice wedding. But, Lila…involve Mom in this okay? You two were never as close as you and I, that's a father and daughter thing, but she wants so badly to have this with you, baby girl."

Lila's eyes knitted, "Dad, I'm not squeezing mom out. I looked at dresses online with Aunt Erin and Aunt Linda to get ideas and stuff but Mom's going to be there for the important stuff."

Jamie nodded, "I know you and your Aunt Erin are very close. She was into your girly girl stuff more than Mom was…but right now Mom is having a hard time with that and I do not want her to be more upset than she has to be so I am asking you to pull back on that for a bit."

Lila looked confused, "Dad, Aunt Erin talked to me about this crazy going on in Mom's head…" Lila had never seen her father's face turn red and angry faster. "Do not EVER let me hear you say that again!" Jamie said firmly. "That is real to your mother and she is very hurt by it. It may or may not be intentional by your aunt but if it makes your mother upset I won't tolerate it Lila!"

"Dad, it's okay. It's okay, calm down. I'm sorry. Aunt Erin loves Mom, she wouldn't hurt her on purpose but if Mommy is hurting…I don't want that Dad."

Lila held Jamie's hand firmly, "I do want them to get along. When Mom feels better and you are stronger and home, I will try to fix it. Okay?"

Jamie sighed, "With my blessing, Lila. Only with my blessing do you open that can of worms." Jamie was getting tired and his arm, usually braced and elevated was hanging loose and starting to cramp. He grimaced.

"Let's get you back inside, Dad. You're tired and need rest."

Lila stood and kissed Jamie's cheek before wheeling him back inside.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

"Mom!" Lila waved at Eddie when she spotted her mother in the large conference room at the hospital. Jamie was set to go home the next day and the family had a lot to learn about how to position him in his bed and his wheelchair to make sure he was able to breathe well and did not suffer painful muscle spasms. He was already having some from the physical therapy but there was no reason to add to it from ignorance.

"Hey, honey. Steven I'm so glad you came," Eddie said smiling at her son-in-law to be.

"No problem, I want to be there to help out whenever I can be. We just peaked in on Jamie, he looks pretty good. They have him sitting up today in the chair again."

"Yes they started that earlier this week, he holds his posture for about a half hour now before he needs more support but apparently that is what we are going to learn about today."

Eddie got a cup of coffee the spotted Danny. "Hey I just came into say hi, I'm going to spend some time with Dad and Jamie getting things coordinated for tomorrow. Linda can show me anything I need to know about helping him get around."

Eddie sighed, "I can do this myself, I appreciate you all coming but…" She stopped mid-sentence when she Joey approaching. "Joey, what are you doing here?"

Eddie was honestly surprised that Joey had come to the class. Even though he's softened a little bit towards Jamie, he was still not very proactive in being involved with his father's care.

"Mom, of course I'm here," Joey replied. "Dad's coming home and you need help taking care of him so I'm going to learn how. You should be home in bed, look at you." Joey affectionately reached out his hand to stroke his mother's cheek. "You're exhausted and it will only be worse after tomorrow."

"No, I think after tomorrow I'll finally be able to sleep well again, I miss having your father next to me," Eddie replied as the nurse teaching the class walked to the front of the room.

They discussed moving the patients to and from their chairs, Eddie had learned a lot of that from Callie and Jamie was able, with great effort to push down with his leg and get himself into the wheelchair or into the bed. Eddie needed to know what to do for him in bed, he had to be place just so or he'd suffer a poor night's rest.

She was meticulous in her note taking, two pillows under his head at all times and make sure he did not tilt his head towards the stronger side, pillows seems to be the ticket. Eddie wrote down to have more pillows purchased, firm ones that would be soft enough for his comfort but strong enough for support. The part where they watched a film of a patient dressing scared her a little bit. The man was older than Jamie but the elapsed time on the bottom said dressing took him over 45 minutes. Jamie didn't have the patience for that even being the most patient of the family. Could she be so calm seeing him struggle as the wife in the film? She doubted it very much. Maybe he was coming home too soon was her fleeting thought.

As the class went on, Jamie visited with Danny and Frank in his room. He was in the hospital chair propped with pillows, weak arm resting on a pillowed arm rest and his feet on a cushioned stool to keep them from dangling and swelling. "We finished setting up your room. Dad had the bathroom doorway opened more and we put a shower chair and got a new shower in here too so you can step in easier and Eddie can help you in an out evenly not over the side."

"I really appreciate all of this, Danny," Jamie sighed. "I'm really…I think it's a mistake to go home yet. I mean I can barely get into and out of the wheelchair or bed here, at home…I'm concerned for Eddie."

"Jamie, Eddie is no shrinking violet," Danny reminded him. "She put up with you all these years, she can handle anything you throw at her."

"I've got seven inches on her Danny and I'm thin but no light weight, I still have some solid muscle mass, it's going to be so hard on her with her chemo pills and all. Maybe I need to go to a hospital for a time."

"No," Danny insisted. "We all worked hard to get the house ready for you to go home and home is where you are going to go." That was it, he was not going to let his little brother's self-doubt creep up.

"Besides, Jamie," Frank said from the other side of the bed. "I will there to help Eddie with anything she needs. I'm old but I still have some strength left in me. You're my child, there's nothing I won't do to help you get well again in your own home."

Jamie sighed, he was ashamed he'd made such little progress. "You know what happened this morning before you got here. I had to go to the bathroom, I called the nurse and she didn't come on time. I wet the bed and I'm 59 years old. I can't even take myself to the damn toilet, I'm useless to my wife who is sick herself right now, I'm useless to my officers…"

Danny got his back up then, "Don't you go talking like that," he scolded. "You are not useless to anyone. Your wife loves you like you are, we all do. You'll get better Jamie but this pity party is not going to fly with me. You wet the bed, so what, you had a stroke only a few weeks ago. There aren't many people who would be this far along."

Jamie nods, in her mind he knows Danny is right but in his heart he is concerned about Eddie. She was getting more and more tired from the chemo pills and had a checkup in two more weeks. He had to be there for that checkup, he had to be well enough.

"He's right son, you have come so far, you are so strong, Jamison. Really you are…" Frank put his arm on Jamie's shoulders. "We'll get through this. Eddie will have all the help she needs from me, from Danny…You can't worry so much about this, Jamie. You can't. You need to worry about getting better not what happens if you don't."

Before Jamie could reply the door opened and Lila came in with Steven. "Hey, Dad…" She went to kiss Jamie's cheek. He smiled at her. Now he had more control over his facial muscles, his smile only drooped a little unless he was tired. "Mom said to tell you she had to go shopping and she'll be here later."

"Shopping?" Jamie asked, raising his eyebrow. "She's needing to be home resting not going shopping. She's going shopping, Dad?"

Frank laughed, Eddie was not usually a shopper. "What compelled her to do this?" Frank asked. He had a feeling but he hoped he wasn't right.

"Well, that class said a lot of good things, but a lot of it was for older people that had strokes. Dad still had a lot of strength on his good side so he won't need as much as the people in the video did. Still, Mom kind of freaked out a little bit and took off to buy pillows and Velcro spoons and stuff at the medical supply store. She took off right after class was done. Joey ran after her so he can probably keep her from buying the entire store. She's just nervous."

Jamie sighed, "Look…look what I'm doing to my family."

Jamie's attitude scared his daughter, "Daddy, what is wrong with you? You are alive and getting better you promised me!"

"Lila," Steve said gently. "Honey, don't yell at him, all right. This is scary for everyone." He put a hand on her back. It was then it struck Jamie in the chest, his little girl really did find her soul mate. Lila was just like him and Steven was just like Eddie, a solid partnership, the perfect match.

"He's giving up, Dad you are giving up!" Lila was working herself up into a classic Reagan fit. She had very little of her mother in her except for her beauty.

"No baby," Jamie replied. "Never, I'm not giving up. I promised to be at your side going down the aisle and I will. Don't get upset sweetie pie." He reached over and she let him hold her tight. "I need you go off and find your mom for me. I don't know how Joe will deal with her being so high strung, the last time he snapped at her and made her all upset. Can you go track her down for me?"

Lila nodded, "I will, Dad. After tomorrow you and Mom will be together again all the time. You won't have to worry so much about each other. You'll both feel better then won't you?"

Jamie nodded, he knew he'd feel so much better with Eddie in his arms again at night. He just knew it.

Lila and Steven tracked Eddie and Joey to the medical supply shop. Joey was trying to talk Eddie out of buying Jamie a bedside toilet. "He might be too tired, Joey and he'll be humiliated if he has to pee in a diaper or a jar."

"Mom, if you think that having your or grandpa or someone dump his pee in the toilet from that thing won't humiliate him you are dead wrong. I think he'd rather use the diaper and tell you he needs help if he can't change it himself which he probably can do. Don't do this to him, Mom. Get it later if he needs it."

Eddie sighed, "I need to help him Joey," she replied choking up. "We are kidding ourselves all of us to think he's going to be like he was. He's not. He's not going to be like he was at all!"

Joey grabbed Eddie's shoulders, "No, he's not. He's going to struggle and he's going to need help some and all those pillows, he'll need it cause he slouches so much and it's bad to slouch but all this other stuff, no Mom. Stop, please stop."

Lila came into the store and just saw Joey holding their mother's arms. Eddie's head dropped and she looked like she just lost her best friend, their Dad. "Let her go," Lila ordered. "Dad was rght, you're hurting Mom now, what kind of a person are you!"

"I'd never hurt her, I'm trying to help!" Joey snapped. "Of course he'd think I'd do something so horrible, just when I thought maybe I won his favor!"

"Lila, he's not hurting me, I just…I'm worried that I can't help Dad like I should and Joey is making me see some of this…" She gestured to the cart. "Is a big mistake. That it will only upset him."

Lila looked at some of the items, Velcro spoons, a bib, rubber sheets…It would absolutely destroy Jamie's fragile ego, Joey was right.

"Joey, Dad said that you might need help calming Mom down, so he wanted me to bring her, that's all. He knows that class kind of spooked her."

Eddie's eyes flashed, "You told him that? You should never have told him that! He doesn't need to be worried about me."

"But he is mom," Lila replied. "He really is worried about you. He's asking for you, so let's pay for the stuff that won't totally destroy what's left of his pride and have lunch all of us together, even you Joey, Dad wants to see you too."

Eddie put back more than half of the equipment she had taken and headed with Joey back to the hospital. Lila and Steven stopped to get sandwiches for the rest of the family and thick cream soup for Jamie. When they arrived back at the hospital it looked like a family party. Sean stopped in on his rounds and Jack was paying a non-uniformed visit. Jamie was in a very different mood than just a little while before as if the crowd of people in the room reminded him that he and Eddie would have all the support in the word to get themselves through.


	15. Chapter 15

**The last couple of chapters I have noticed many views but not many reviews. I love to hear from you so please drop me a line and let me know if you are enjoying the ride and this universe. Thank you to my loyal readers and reviewers, and of course, thanks to Lawslave for previewing each chapter and giving guidance where it was needed.**

Chapter Fifteen

"Here we are," Eddie announced as she pulled the car into the driveway. For the first time in over a month Jamie was almost inside his own home.

He smiled as she took in the outer structure, Danny and the contractors had put in an attractive ramp leading to the side door so that Eddie could easily get him inside. The side door was made wider along with most of the doors on the first floor of the old house. Over the doorway was a sign, "Welcome Home, Jamie…" He felt a little like a celebrity seeing everyone waiting for him on the porch with one notable exception.

Jamie's face fell as he took inventory and did not find his son. "He's working, Sweetheart. He's going to come over later, all right?" Eddie hoped she didn't lie.

She put the car in park and popped the trunk, producing Jamie's wheelchair. She unfolded it as he fumbled with the seatbelt and unhooked it from the clasp. Jamie opened the car door then tried to pivot in the car seat to get out of the car. He wasn't able to turn himself. His right side was strong but because he sat on the passenger side he had nothing to push down on. He tried three times. Danny saw his brother's dilemma as did Erin. Danny held back, he knew he'd make Eddie angry and embarrass Jamie if he pushed but Erin had no such reservations. She hurried down and stood beside Eddie. "Aren't you going to help him?"

"No, Erin, the therapist taught him how," Eddie replied and reached out to free Jamie's right leg. "Now push down on my arm with you good arm and turn around. You can do it Jamie."

It took a few more tries and a lot of grunting and groaning but finally after a half hour Jamie was seated in his wheelchair. Eddie put pillows on either side of his hips and against his bad leg. It tended to turn out and would cramp and misalign his back if she let it do that. "Ready?"

Jamie nodded smiling again. Erin watched Eddie push his chair up the ramp and inside. "Wouldn't a power chair be better for him? He could be more independent…"

"No, the therapist says that once he is stronger using his weak arm to power this chair will help him regain full use. I know you want to do everything for him like you did when he was a little boy, but he's not a little boy, he is a 59 year old man that does not need you babying him."

Eddie already had enough. She put Jamie's chair next to Frank's recliner in the living room. The family soon settled in making plates of food that Linda brought over. There were lots of thick dips and soft breads to go with them, very tasty for everyone but easy for Jamie to chew and swallow.

"Uncle Jamie," Jack began. "Or perhaps I should say Commission Reagan because this is a little bit about work. Aunt Eddie asked I didn't say anything while you were in the hospital but…Blue flu is over, all officers are back on the job in full force and everyone is waiting for your return." Jack handed Jamie a box full of cards and letters from his officers from Academy cadets right on up to his Chief of Detectives and Deputy Commissioners. "Everyone really misses you. I assured them all you would be back as soon as you were able."

Jamie was touched by the outpouring of support from the rank and file. He had tried his best for them and now they realized it.

Across town, in a 12 story walk up, Joey sat on the sofa with his partner, Annie. Her sons were asleep in his room, nap time was around now each day. Joey was drinking a beer, he'd showed up an hour ago, sat on the sofa and asked for the beer. He said nothing since so finally Annie pushed, "You going to sit here all day and melt into my sofa or are you going to talk to me? Wasn't your Dad getting out of the hospital today?"

Joey nodded, "Yeah, yeah, and the entire family is probably over at the house welcoming him home. I didn't see any reason to spoil a good time."

"Joe..." Annie sighed. "I thought you were letting go of all of that. That night when he had the stroke, we talked about all of this. You said you were going to let it go and start fresh."

"I did, but that was before yesterday. I went to that stupid class," Joey explained. "Those people are so crippled by their strokes and it scared my mother really bad. She left and went to the medical store so I gave chase...to stop her you know from going crazy and stuff." Joey took a long drag of his beer.

"Yeah, as close as you say they are, it's going to be scary for her and it was good you went with her to make sure she was okay," Annie said empathetically. She rubbed Joey's arm. "So what got you upset at your father?"

"He sent Lila down after us, he was actually afraid I'd hurt Mom. My own mother…he didn't trust me with her. Of course when I went back to the hospital room he said thank you but…He specifically charged me with taking care of my mother, then he is not trusting me…"

"Joe…you and your father," Annie sighed. "You two are so at odds you can't even see when the other is reaching out. Your dad telling you specifically to help your mother is huge, Joe. I saw the two of them together, if he is trusting you…Don't put up obstacles because you are scared."

"Scared, what do I have to be afraid of?" Joey asked not believing Annie would suggest such a thing.

"That he won't get well, and you will forever live with your own guilt that if you'd not attacked him that night after the budget deal was announced that he would never have stroked out, but you know what? He would have because he is just like you and if you aren't careful, Joe, you are going to stroke out at his age too." Annie stood up and sighed. "You're my best friend, you are my partner, I have never lied to you and I won't now. You were rude, disrespectful and bordering on cruel to your father over the wage freeze thing but his stroke was not your fault, Joe. It was not your fault."

Annie expected Joe to get angry and snap at her but instead she heard him put his beer bottle down, take a breath, and begin to cry. It tugged at her heart when to hear him finally break. He flirted with it when Jamie had the stroke but today was different. She hurried to his side and held him to her chest. "Ssh, he's better, you said so. He's home now, Joe. Your dad is not going anywhere, ssh."

Annie stroked Joey's hair as she held him tight as he cried, "That's not it."

"What is it?" Annie asked softy. "Tell me." She cared about Joseph Patrick Reagan very much, perhaps a little more than she should as of late.

"He's so…The stroke made him…He can't sit up without all these pillows around him and if he forgets to move his food to the right, he coughs so hard he's exhausted after. My mom doesn't know about the slouching so much because a lot of times I fix him so she won't see. He's my dad, he coached my soccer team…now…he's…"

"He's still your Dad, he just needs you instead of you needing him. Go home, Joe. Participate in the welcome, don't hide. If it's too much to stay long, then don't stay long but don't hide either. You are the bravest cop I know, you can do this. I know you can."

Joey arrived at the family home just as they were sitting down to dinner. Frank had offered to cater Chinese for Jamie's homecoming. Eddie was making him a plate of rice, cut up broccoli, and a few pieces of shrimp when Joey came in. "Hey look who's here, you're just in time. I got Kung Pao for you in case you came over." Eddie gave Joey a kiss and hug. "Do me a favor bring Dad this plate for me and I'll dish you out some of your food."

Joey took the plate to Jamie. He sat at the head of the table in his wheelchair, "Here you go, Dad. Mom cut it all up small, take your time." Joey poured himself a drink and sat down next to Danny.

"If it's okay with everyone, I'd like to say grace," Jamie said slowly making sure every word was clear.

"Of course," Frank smiled. He knew it was hard for Jamie to be away from home for so many weeks. Eddie had taken nearly every meal with him at the hospital. It was wonderful to have his son and his daughter-in-law at the center of the family again.

Jamie bowed his head and the rest of the family followed suit. "Bless us oh Lord and these gift we're about to receive through Thy bounty. And thank you Lord for bringing us all together at this table, for giving me this family especially my beautiful wife and wonderful children to see me through. Amen."

"Well said, Jamie," Linda said with a smile. He really had come a long way in a few weeks.

It wasn't too long into the meal when Jamie forgot to push his food to the right for a controlled swallow, he was having such a nice time he didn't remember he was having to make such accommodations. He started to cough on a piece of shrimp.

Eddie went into action going to her husband's side, "It's okay, cough it out…" She held a napkin under his mouth and patted his back until the food came up. "That's it…take a sip of water, use your straw…" Most of the family had already seen this so no one really got too excited but Jamie expressed his embarrassment with a bright red face.

"It's all right, Dad," Lila soothed. "It'll happen, you are feeling better so you don't remember."

Jamie offered her a fake smile. Not long after they finished dinner, Jamie begged off. "Eddie, I'm a little tired, I'd like to go bed."

"Oh course, honey, let's get you all ready. Danny and Joey set up the study just beautifully."

Eddie excused herself and pushed Jamie's chair to their new bedroom. "You see, even our bed is here .I can lie beside you and be with you all night." Eddie kissed his brow. "Come on now let's get you undressed. Eddie helped Jamie guide is paralyzed arm from his shirt then held the garment while he removed it the rest of the way. She did the same for his pants and his socks. Finally he was in just a tee shirt and his boxers. "Jamie..." Eddie said softly. "Sweetie I think for the night, just until we get a routine, you should put the diaper on."

"No," he said firmly. "I'll get an alarm and wake up to go to the toilet. I don't want to wear that damn thing!"

"Jamie, if you don't feel it…or you can't get me up…" The set of his jaw was firm. She knew there was no choice. She put the diaper down. "Okay, it's okay. I'll set the alarm for two hours and take you to the bathroom. Let's get you into bed for now, okay?"

Eddie dismantled the chair then with Jamie's minimal help lifted him and got him onto the bed. It was much easier in the hospital with Callie directing her but Jamie was patient and made no complaints. "How do you want to be, on your good side, your bad, or your back?"

Jamie chose his back with Eddie on his good side. She placed pillows all around him, supporting his bad arm and leg with the firmest of the pillows. It took an hour to get him into bed and comfortable. By the time Eddie lay down, she was perspiring and her back was aching. Still, as she laid her had on Jamie's chest in their own bed for the first time since his stroke, every ounce of blood, sweat and tears was worth it. "I love you, Jamie," Eddie whispered kissing his cheek. "Sleep well."

Jamie dropped a kiss on her cheek, "I love you, too. Thank you, Eddie, thank you for this."

Eddie leaned up on her elbow, "In sickness and in health, Jamie. In sickness and in health."


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: The response to the last chapter, both in views, reviews, and pms had been great so as a special thank you I decide to post a bonus chapter. I hope this is as well received as the previous one. I do love hearing from my readers, I try to touch on topics not often addressed in fanfiction, mostly from my personal experiences. Thank you for taking these journeys with me, especially to my most loyal reviewers and readers.**

Chapter Sixteen

Three times that night, Eddie got up to take Jamie to the bathroom. It took her about ten minutes to get him into his chair, another ten to get him on and off the toilet, and another ten to get him back into bed. By morning, they were both exhausted. It was clear to Eddie at least that these bathroom trips were not going to work.

Her back and her arms ached. She hadn't felt such searing pain in her left arm in years but today it throbbed. Still, she couldn't let Jamie know that. She got up at eight to get breakfast going. Lila was already there having to leave for classes at 830. "How did you sleep?" Lila asked Eddie hoping her mother would have had more rest with Jamie home.

"Okay, but I had to get up a few times with Dad," Eddie replied. "He's still out like a light. I'm going to fix him some oatmeal, the physical therapist is coming today at noon to do his work out." Eddie started the coffee. "Is grandpa up?"

"Up and out, he went for breakfast with Aunt Erin," Lila replied. "Mom, I know you've been really busy but I was hoping we can talk about the wedding. I mentioned to Dad wanting to get married here in Brooklyn then have the reception maybe on the Island. There are some really nice places."

"We can go look at places soon as Dad is a little better, we'll take a ride and narrow it down with Steven. I am assuming he wants to be involved."

"He is pretty agreeable about it, just that he wants to invite most of his engine company so that might raise the guest list a little bit," Lila replied. "Dad said if it was on the Island it could be a little easier to have a larger wedding."

'Well, Dad would know," Eddie agreed. "Find a few dates that work with you and Steven and Dad and I will come with you to look at venues, okay?" Eddie was glad Lila was including her in this.

Lila gave Eddie a kiss on the cheek, "Tell Dad I love him and to work hard, okay. He promised to be with me when I go down the aisle."

Eddie smiled, "I'll tell him, angel. Be safe, have a good day."

Lila headed for her bus and Eddie finished the oatmeal. She added a hint of brown sugar and some cinnamon then took the oatmeal, orange juice and coffee to Jamie on a tray. He was still sound asleep but it was medication time. Eddie sat on the bed and kissed his face over and over like she did when they were first married and he'd sleep like the dead after a double tour. "Mmm," Jamie groaned. "Morin…" He post sleep speech was still a little warbled.

"Morning, I know you're still tired but you have to eat and take your pills. Roger is going to be here at noon. You ready to work?" Eddie smiled and get up his tray.

Jamie lifted his spoon and started to eat. "Oh this is so good," he beamed as he enjoyed the meal and real coffee. "Yeah, I'm going to work hard on transfers so you don't have to keep getting up. I know that you need sleep too. I'm going to work so hard for you baby, I promise."

Eddie kissed Jamie's forehead, "Eat then we'll get your washed and ready for the day all right? Dad and Erin went out so I'm sure she'll be over to make sure I'm taking care of you."

Jamie laughed, it upset him there was a rivalry between his wife and his sister that only Eddie seemed to see but he found her jealousy cute. "You're taking the best care of me, sweetheart. Did you eat anything? Do you need to lie back down?"

Eddie shook her head, "I'm queasy this morning, I'll eat a little later. I'm a little tired but it's okay. I was so glad to have you home and at my side again. I missed you so much."

Jamie smiled, "I missed you too." Jamie focused his brain on his bad arm the one closest to Eddie. He focused all of his strength and energy and tried to get his arm to obey. He managed to move it from the shoulder about an inch before moaning with exertion.

Eddie smiled with pride, 'That was so good! Look at what you did, Jamie. That was great!" She enveloped him in a huge hug and kissed his cheek. "You are trying so hard and you are doing it!"

Eddie couldn't remember a prouder moment than this one. She heard Frank and Erin return, "Eddie, Jamie are you up?" Frank called out. Jamie laughed, 'If you we weren't we are now. I'm tired, I don't want to see my sister."

Eddie nodded, "You work on eating and then I'll get you washed up. I'll be right back."

Eddie left to head off Erin and Frank. "We got Jamie some Danish," Erin said holding up the bag.

"Jamie's already eating his oatmeal the he has to have a bath before his physical therapy, but I'll make sure he can enjoy this later, thank you." Eddie took the bag and put it on the counter.

"I'm just going to go say good morning…" Erin began but Eddie stopped her. "He is trying to eat and he really has to concentrate, you can visit with him after he's done his PT if he's up to it."

Erin looked a little put out but Frank quickly agreed, "Jamie needs to focus now, he's still got some time left where he can recover some use of his arm and leg, I've been reading on this at night."

Eddie couldn't hide her smile, "Actually, he moved his arm just this morning a little bit. I don't think I've seen him smile so much in weeks. He was so proud of himself."

Frank's grin spread ear to ear, "That's my boy, way to push it."

Eddie laughed at Frank's mood and headed back to the bedroom.

Two hours later, Jamie's home therapist, Roger arrived to begin Jamie's therapy. Eddie showed him to the bedroom and the left him and Jamie to do his work. Roger sat on the bed while Jamie was in the wheelchair.

"So, how was your first night home?" Roger asked.

"Well it was okay except for one thing," Jamie sighed. "I had to keep making my wife get up to take me to the bathroom. She's on chemo pills right now and she's tired and I'm so heavy for her. Can we work hard on transfers? I want to go to the bathroom by myself."

"Okay then let's get to work." Roger pulled out a transfer board. "A lot of this has to do with upper body strength. I'm going to show you how to use the board today but it's going to be a while before you'll be able to transfer successfully by yourself. Still, you have a great attitude and great motivation."

Jamie nodded and look at the two pound barbell weight the Roger put in his hand. "Close your hand around it." Jamie focused his mind on his weak hand and closed it with a moderate amount of effort.

"Very good!" Roger praised. "That was really good. Now let's do some reps. I'm going to help but focus on your arms as I move it…ready….one…and down, Two…"

Jamie poured his concentration and effort into the movements Roger was making with his arm. "I need to be able to push down," he replied. "If I can push down I can get over to my chair and then I won't have to wake up my wife to go to the bathroom."

"Jamie, I know it's hard at your age to accept, but for the time being you can wear diapers at night. If you make a mistake, that you can change more easily, you only need the right hand to move it and your wife can help get a clean one on."

Jamie shook his head, "My father is 92, and he doesn't use diapers. My grandfather lived to 93, he never did…No."

Roger sighed, "Okay, let's focus then." He put Jamie through his moves again and again before switching to range of motion and finally endurance. "Hold your arm up, just concentrate on holding it up in once place."

Jamie used all his effort as Roger counted, "One, two, three…" All the way to eight before Jamie's arm dropped. "That was very good, you did very well. Now let's work on that leg."

Jamie was exhausted after the two hour session. He asked to be helped into bed but Roger refused. "You have more stamina than that now. Callie was babying you, you're a tough Irish beat cop, that's your origin…" Roger positioned Jamie properly in his chair with pillows to support him. "Let's take you out there and show your wife how hard you worked."

Roger pushed Jamie's chair out to the living room where they found Eddie and Frank talking softly. "I'm sorry Dad but right now it makes my skin crawl to have her here. I don't know why but…I'm sorry I was so short but…" Eddie was clearly upset.

"Dad, I said that I didn't want it…" Jamie spoke up. "That I didn't want to see Erin, it wasn't Eddie's fault, don't put that on her."

"Your sister is trying to help, it's very hard for her to see you like this," Frank sighed.

"Hard on her!" Eddie started to lose her temper now. "It's hard on HER, it's hard on me. My strong husband that can do anything can't take himself to the toilet or even get out of bed. The man I counted on to do anything, to be there! He's still there, he is still protecting me, but it's so tiring now! You don't think that's hard on me?" Tears sprang to Eddie's eyes. She saw the look on Jamie's face, embarrassment when she mentioned the bathroom and all of his limitations. She's hurt him, the one person she had no desire to hurt. Stifling a sob, Eddie took off to their old bedroom, up the long staircase to be alone.

Jamie sighed in frustration, "Eddie! Eddie, come down!" He looked at Roger. "Help me, I can't…I have to go up…please help me."

Jamie was not even close to taking a solid step yet, he couldn't handle stairs. "I can carry you up to her, which I guess beats dragging her down. Hang on tight." Roger was touched by Jamie's devotion to his wife. They could hear her sobbing through the closed door. Jamie told Roger to sit in him on the floor and bring up his chair. He wanted to hold his wife in his arms and prove to her he was there in all the ways that mattered.

Not more than ten minutes after Eddie ran out of the room Jamie pushed open their bedroom door. "Eddie, come here," he opened his arm and waited hoping she'd fall into him like she had done the other times in their marriage when she'd broken like a sparrow.

"I'm sorry," Eddie choked. "I didn't mean…" Eddie looked down at the floor. "I'm so ashamed, I didn't mean…"

"Eddie, I know what you meant. I know it's so hard on you to see me this way, it's hard to be this way believe me and that is why I am working so hard. Come here, baby, please. I can't come and get you or I would."

Eddie went and sat on Jamie's lap, "Do I hurt you? Am I too heavy?"

"No, it's perfect," Jamie sighed glad to have her close and safe. He wrapped his arm around her. "I know she's driving you crazy with her hovering. It's just her way, always has been. I'll talk to Dad, all right? You have this issue with Erin, she doesn't seem to share it but you have it just the same. If having her come around so much is bothering you, I'll speak to Dad." Jamie kissed her hair, "I don't like seeing you like this."

Eddie was tired and in pain that was what fed her outburst, but she couldn't let on to Jamie that was part of it or he'd feel responsible. "No, I can cope with it, but we have to do what is best for you. If I though the therapy was the wrong thing…"

"I know and it isn't…" Jamie replied. "I held my arm up for 8 seconds. Eight full seconds. That's something right. And I held my leg up five seconds. That's a lot more than I could do last week."

Eddie smiled at him, "Yes it is. We'll get through this, Jamie. I just…I'm being silly. I hurt your feelings and your Dad's too. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, sweetheart," Jamie cooed to her. "I understand. It's hard, I know it is. When you were sick, watching you suffer, watching you lying in bed in such pain…it hurt too and when others tried to help and push in, they couldn't do it as good as I could do it. I resented it too. It's okay and I understand it all, I love you so much for being here for me Eddie, not matter what the stroke took it didn't take that, nothing ever could."

Eddie smiled up at Jamie, "You're right…nothing can take what we have, so bring it on if you must, we can take it…" She gave Jamie a kiss and laid her had on his shoulder enjoying being this close and feeling, just for the moment, like nothing had changed at all.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: I have written nearly all that I can for this installment of the story. It will be approximately 45 chapters long exploring so much more than just Jamie's physical recovery. I will begin this week posting three times a week. Thanks for the support. I look forward to hearing from you!**

Chapter Seventeen

One Week Later

"Eddie," Jamie shook her shoulder trying to wake her up. "Eddie, it's nine. I have to use the bathroom."

Eddie was exhausted. For a week she'd gotten up with Jamie three times a night, transferred him to his chair, to the toilet, back to his chair and finally back to bed. After Jamie fell back to sleep but Eddie would lie awake. She hadn't slept well for many weeks before Jamie came home and now it was no better, but she didn't have the heart to push the diaper issue when Jamie was fighting so hard to get better. Her left arm throbbed and the night before she noticed it swelled up. She couldn't let Jamie see that but that skin as tender to the touch. She hoped that soon he'd have the strength to transfer himself.

Jamie pushed her harder, "Eddie…" He poked her left bicep that was enough to wake her.

"Jamie, what are you doing?" It hurt for her to be poked. She hissed then bit her lip. "What's the matter?"

"I need to go to the bathroom," Jamie sighed. "I'm sorry, honey. Can you …"

Eddie got out of bed. She got Jamie's chair as he pushed himself up and moved his bad leg with his good arm. Eddie got him by the under arms and together they worked into his wheelchair. When he was seated Jamie got a glimpse of Eddie's arm. "Oh my God, Eddie…" He had not seen the lymphedema in a few years and not this bad in even a longer time. "Sweetheart, as soon as I get back into bed I'm going to do fluid massage on you and you are going to the doctor, I mean it."

"Jamie, I have an appointment today anyway," Eddie reminded him. "Joey is going to take me because you have PT."

"I'm going too, I am going to call Roger and reschedule," Jamie insisted. "I am going to sit at your side and hold your hand and I am going to make sure this arm goes back to normal. I am so sorry Eddie. This is all my fault."

"Jamie you can't cancel physical therapy, you need to keep steady. You are making so much progress with your arm," Eddie reminded him as she got him on to the toilet. He had learned how to undress himself with very little assistance and was trying to get to the point where he could dress unassisted except getting is bad arm into his shirts.

"I can make it later, this is your cancer doctor Eddie. You had more scans. I was in the hospital last time or I'd have been there. I am always there. Don't put me back in bed, help me shower and dress, we are going together and that is final!"

Eddie sighed, when he got this way there no point in arguing with him. "All right, I'll tell Joey we'll be helping you get into the car. Call Roger now and see when he can come. I don't want you disregarding your therapy, the sooner you can self-transfer the better for you and for me, right?" Eddie kissed Jamie's head then helped him get into the shower.

Joey arrived at eleven to take Eddie and was surprised to see his father dressed in jeans and a sweater in his wheelchair. "Hey, Dad. You don't have to worry about Mom, I have it."

"It's nothing against you son but I am going to go with you. Except for the hospital, I have never missed one of mom's appointments. Can you help me into the car? Look at Mom's arm."

Jamie had forced Eddie to put on her lymphedema sleeve and had tried in vain to circulate the fluid in her arm but it was so blocked his ministrations caused her pain.

"Jesus, Mom!" Joey gasped. "What are you doing? You aren't supposed to be over working your arm. You have always been so careful, why…" He looked at his Dad. "Well, this has just got to stop! That's got to be so painful for her!"

"I know it is and I tried my best to get it to drain but it didn't!" Jamie snapped. "Help me into the car and we'll go to your mom's appointment. The oncologist can give her some medication or a referral to get her arm fixed."

"All right, Mom go in the back and put your arm on the rest in there, I'll get Dad in the car."

"I can push with the heel of my bad leg to get you some leverage," Jamie told with pride. "Roger helped me get a little control."

"Dad, we have to hurry so if it's all the same to you I'd rather just pick you up." Joey didn't give Jamie a chance to reply, he scooped his father up and placed him in the front seat of his car. "Oh, Mom. On the floor back there, there's a couple of crocheted pillows, Annie made them for Dad. One is arm length and one is leg length, they are firm too, she thought he'd like them."

Eddie smiled, 'That was sweet of her, we'll have to send her a note and thank her."

"How is she doing financially with the freeze? Partners are family, if she needs help, I will help her as your father. Grandpa did that for one of my partners."

"I'm helping her when she needs. She was making it on what she made and you kept them from rolling back so…" Joey carefully executed the ride to the doctor's office quickly. He let Eddie out and put Jamie in his wheelchair before going to park the car.

Eddie pushed Jamie's chair into the doctor's office. He always had flashbacks to her illness while they were in there. So many sick people…He took her hand in his. "I love you, baby. It's going to be okay, he's going to say you are fine."

Eddie smiled, "I'm so glad you are here. I really do need you Jamie." Her arm throbbed. "Can you try to rub this again? It felt a little better then."

Jamie nodded and started to rub her arm with his good hand. Eddie hissed, the skin was so tender. "I know it's tender, honey. I know. The doctor will help you."

Joey arrived and saw his father turned in his wheelchair tending to his mother. Moments like this chipped away at the armor he'd built around his heart regarding his Dad. He sat down not speaking, watching his parents as he read a magazine. "Eddie," the nurse called about ten minutes later. "Come on back." Joey pushed Jamie's chair, "I'll do it Mom, you rest your arm."

Dr. McLean smiled when he greeted Eddie. "Jamie, it's good to see you. How are you feeling?"

"I'm doing much better, my speech is almost back to normal and I am working hard on my arm and leg." Jamie did his new trick for the doctor after Eddie lifted his arm. He was able to hold it up now for almost fifteen seconds.

"I'm so happy to hear that," Dr. McLean replied. "And I am also happy to report Eddie's PET scan and CEA-125 have come back at normal levels. We can discontinue the methotrexate and continue to monitor except I'd like to do it at six month intervals for the next eighteen months to be on the safe side."

Eddie couldn't help but tear up. She covered her face with her hands and sniffled into her hands. The relief flooded through her when she heard this news. She was okay, she'd be here to help Jamie through the rest of his recovery.

Jamie slid his good arm around Eddie's shoulders, "I'm so proud of you, baby," he whispered. She'd been doing one of the hardest pills there was and taking care of him. "Dr. McLean, Eddie's been really having to over use her arm taking care of me and the swelling is really bad. Is there anything you can do?"

"Eddie, let's go to the exam room. Jamie and Joey can stay here and we'll see what we can do about the arm." The doctor led Eddie to the exam room leaving Joey and Jamie to sit and stare at each other.

"Don't say it," Jamie sighed. "I already know and I'm going to fix it. I know it's all my fault she's dealing with this again."

"Dad, it was really selfish and silly. You know Mom isn't supposed to over exert her arm and that blockage is so bad her skin is peeling. I know you didn't really think about…"

"I did, I did think about it and I hoped that I would be better already and able to get to and from my chair and the toilet myself but I'm not. I'm not just sitting around, Joey, I am working hard."

Joey sighed, "I know you are, Dad. I can see you are making progress but right now…You're slouching…let me fix you…" Joey got up an adjusted Jamie in the chair. "You're getting tired, I know and you are working so hard but Dad it's wrong to ask Mom to do this. If you need her to clean up at least she's not lifting you so much and…"

"I know and tonight I am going to remedy this, Joey. I promise you I will."

Eddie left the doctor's office a half an hour later with antibiotics, cream, and a tight stocking for her arm. The doctor had laid into her about over working herself but she kept that between them. Jamie had enough on his plate and to have Frank doing bathroom duty was just not going to work. She promised herself to use the lotions and elevate her arm more during the day when Jamie was in his wheelchair.

Eddie kept her arm up the rest of the day. Jamie was exhausted but gave his all again in physical therapy. Joey had the day off so he stuck around and helped around the house allowing Eddie some much needed physical rest. Still, she could not rest emotionally, though she did try.

When Roger was done Jamie's PT that day, his posture was like it was the day he was first sitting up in a chair. He kept slumping to one said and having trouble righting himself. Joey was always quick to fix him and place firm pillows on his weaker side, it really upset Eddie when Jamie slouched even more than if he coughed on his food when he ate.

"Mom, you want I should put Dad to bed so you don't have to lift him?" Joey asked about 9 that night. Jamie was nearly asleep in his wheelchair.

"No, we have a routine that is really working, but thanks for all our help today. I couldn't have done it without you." Eddie gave Joey a really strong hug and kissed his forehead. "Be safe on the streets tomorrow and tell Annie that I have Dad using his new pillows already. Drive carefully."

After Joey left, Eddie pushed Jamie's chair to the bedroom. While she pulled out his sleep shorts and tee shirt, Jamie pulled out one of the dreaded adult diapers. He held it up when Eddie turned around. "So how does this thing actually go on?"

Eddie felt so relieved but she still had to give him a choice. "Honey, you don't have to do that. You really don't have to do it. I can manage, I haven't been doing my compression wraps with all the extra use I'm giving my arm that's my fault."

"Eddie, it's my fault," Jamie sighed. "My silly pride. I put that before your well being and I feel just awful about it. This is going to be best for us both. If I have an accident then you just have to help me get a new one and now haul my butt around all night long. It's not fair, it never was and I am so very sorry."

Jamie reached out for her and like had been lately he used his bad arm. He got some sloppy contact with her hand then managed to make a grip around her wrist. "I love you and I've done this…please help me undo it."

There wasn't much Eddie could say to that. "All right, they go on like underwear…" That night, curled in bed together, Eddie and Jamie both got a good night's sleep, a step in the right direction for them both.


	18. Chapter 18

**This chapter may not be very easy on the Erin fans. I'm sorry if she is coming off like a villain, she's not…this is done to demonstrate what can often happen with two females trying to care for the same male…This tension will come to a head the next few chapters. Who will be team Erin? Who will be team Eddie? Who will have the solution? Read to find out. Don't forget to leave your comments.**

Chapter Eighteen

Two Weeks Later

Eddie awoke from a dead sleep. Jamie was tossing as much as he could and she heard several soft moans. "Jamie?" She sat up and turned on the light. His face was contorted with pain and drenched in sweat. "Jamie, what is it?"

He was holding his bad arm with his good one, gritting his teeth. "Pain," he managed to reply. "Arm hurts."

"Your arm hurts?" Eddie asked. She turned slid out of bed and hurried to his side of the bed. "Let me see, let go of it."

Jamie dropped his hold and let Eddie examine his bad arm. "It's all cramped up sweetie," she sighed. "Lie still, I'll get the muscle cream and rub it into your arm. Lie still."

Eddie hurried to the medicine cabinet for the muscle cream but found they were out. "I'll be right back, sweetheart."

Eddie remembered how painful her spasms were when she was working on her arm after her operation. She couldn't imagine how painful this was for Jamie, he was exercising those muscles so hard.

Eddie hurried to Frank's room and tried to be quiet as she raided his cabinet for muscle cream. She tried to be quiet but Frank heard her, "Eddie? What's wrong?"

"It's Jamie," Eddie sighed. "He's having a spasm in his arm and I can't find our muscle cream."

Frank's feet hit the floor, he grabbed his cane and helped her find the cream. "Frank it's so late, thank you for helping but you can go back to bed."

"He's still my boy," Frank reminded Eddie and headed downstairs.

They could hear Jamie crying out in pain, Eddie ran into the room with Frank close behind. "I found your dad's cream. Let me move your arm honey."

His arm was frozen to his side he muscles spasmed and constricted. Eddie got the cream on her hands and exposed his skin. Eddie rubbed the warm cream into Jamie's skin as Frank took his right hand into his own. "It's all right son." It was breaking Frank's heart to see his boy suffering.

"Take a deep breath," Frank whispered as Eddie massaged Jamie's arm.

"That's it…" Jamie took long and slow deep breath in his nose and out his mouth. Eddie's hands found the spasm and with great effort finally got it to release.

"Move your arm baby," she advised. "Just try to move it a little bit. Tomorrow we'll talk to Roger about these."

"It hurt so bad, I'm so sorry," Jamie was embarrassed. He didn't like all the attention.

"I know it did," Eddie kissed his head. She moved the limb back and forth to stretch the muscles then laid it on a pillow. Frank was still holding tight to Jamie's hand and stroking his sweaty brown. Eddie got a cold cloth and let Frank wipe Jamie's face. She knew the father in him had to care for his boy. It was too hard on him to see this and not try to soothe him.

Jamie's eye get heavy, the pain exhausting him. "Come on, Dad, let's go back to bed. He's all right now." Eddie took Frank and guided him back upstairs. "Has he had these often?"

"No, this was the first one like this," Eddie replied. "But I think we'll have a lot more of them. Roger says he brain is starting to rework itself now and he's getting motion in that arm. I'll take the good with the bad on this. You okay?"

Frank had been sucking air a little harder lately and Eddie was concerned his COPD was acting up. "I'm good. I'll see you in the morning, but if he has another spell wake me. I want to help you as much as I can."

Eddie agreed and headed back to the bed. Jamie was still half asleep but opened his eyes to slits when she slid into bed. "Hey, you okay now?" Eddie asked softly.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." Jamie had been very careful about how often he woke Eddie, especially since the swelling in her arm had yet to go down.

"You needed me, I always want you to wake me Jamie. Roger said you'll get these but…" Eddie leaned over and kissed him softly. "As painful as it was, we need to celebrate because it is really a good sign. It means you are getting better honey, you are getting better."

Jamie did manage a smile, "You are right…tomorrow we'll have a special lunch, just you and I."

Alas, that did not happen.

After Jamie's PT, they spoke to Roger who advised them that the spasms were only beginning. That he'd have them as his body began to relearn it's connections. He assured them that it was normal and was a good sign. When Roger left, Eddie set up a meal of shredded chicken, sesame oil, and rice. Jamie liked Asian food a lot so this lunch would be very special.

Roger parked Jamie's chair next to the kitchen table when he left. Eddie has just served their celebratory lunch when the back door opened.

"Jamie. What are you doing up and out of bed? Your therapist just left, you need to be resting. Let's get you into bed." Erin took the chair and started to push Jamie towards the bedroom.

"Erin, Eddie and I are celebrating," Jamie broke in quickly. "I'm getting feeling in my arm and I'm moving it a little bit and we are going to celebrate."

"Jamie, you can't even sit up straight and you are going to have such a big lunch…" Erin effectively overruled Jamie in his own house. He was tired and it did show. Eddie bit her lip so hard it bled, the last time she spoke up to Erin it really upset Frank. She didn't want to do that.

"Erin, your Dad has some breathing trouble last night before he went to bed, perhaps he can benefit a little from you TLC."

Eddie just wanted to have this quiet with Jamie. She wanted some normalcy and some romance in their life. Yes, he massaged her arm at night and held her close but she missed the other closeness. Most of it was caregiver and patient, not husband and wife. Jamie had felt much the same way once upon a time, so he understood Eddie's desire.

"I really think, Dad's condition is more easily managed," Erin replied and continued to take Jamie to bed.

"He's not fighting her so," Eddie surmised. "Perhaps he is very tired and I pushed him. That would not be fair of me to do that."

"Erin, I will put him to bed, you haven't done it in a while and you might hurt him…" She just kept going, ignoring every word Eddie is saying. Angry and hurt, Eddie headed for the porch. She sat down and just watched the cars go by, if she brought her anger inside with her it would be to Jamie's detriment. Rest was good for him after PT, she had to bite her tongue.

Eddie sat outside for hours. Erin was still in there, she would not go back inside while Erin was there. Jamie didn't need her, if he did he'd be calling for her. She had her phone. Eddie's phone finally rang a half hour later. "Hello," she said smiling a little seeing it was Joey. "How are you? Are you okay?"

Joey heard his mother's voice catching. "I'm good, I was calling to talk to Dad for a few cause he didn't answer his phone, but are you okay?"

"I'm okay…uh…Let me get you Dad I'm just sitting outside. I'm getting a little air." Eddie got up and took the phone inside. Jamie was lying in bed with Erin at his side. She was feeding him what appeared to be cut up spaghetti.

"Eddie, there's plenty if you are hungry," Erin invited as Jamie ate.

Eddie shook her head, "It's our son. Apparently he needs you and you didn't answer your phone."

Jamie took the phone in his right hand, "Jamie, try with your left to grasp it, honey. For Joey."

"He's tired, Eddie," Erin piped up. "He's been having pain on and off all day."

"I can do it, Erin," Jamie replied and reached out with his left hand. He grabbed for the phone but his fingers failed him. He picked up with his right hand, "Joey, sorry, son, Aunt Erin turned my phone off so I could nap and not get texts from Jack."

"Oh, Aunt Erin, that's why Mom sounds like that. I was hoping you could lend me $3,500.00," Joey sighed. "I'm so sorry to ask."

"That's a lot of money Joey," Jamie replied. "What's it for?"

"Annie, her dumbass landlord found out about her sons, he's kicking her out but she has no place to go. I got her an Air BNB temporarily but they want $3500 advance. Can you please help?"

Jamie leaned back against his pillows. His exhausted mind couldn't think very well. He never felt this tired with Eddie taking care of him. She'd been AWOL nearly all day. "Uh…I'll talk to Mom and call you back but probably. Let me just talk to Mom."

The call ended and Joey wrapped his arms around Annie, "It's going to be okay. He's going to call us back. If they don't have it to help they'll ask my grandpa. It's all right."

Joey hated to see Annie cry. It wasn't herself she cried for but her sons. "I'm so ashamed."

"Don't be, it's not your fault, okay? This what partners do, unless the partners are my folks but that is a horse of another color," Joey laughed.

Annie laid her head on his chest, he was her hero today. If his parents said yes, if not she was homeless.

"He needs $3,500.00," Jamie told Eddie. "For his partner. She got evicted with her little ones and Joey doesn't have that kind of money to lend out. That's my fault, if he was detective he'd have it. I want to do it, Eddie."

Erin didn't offer her opinion here, it was her brother's money. She only spoke out where she felt Jamie was in peril, from being over worked and not allowed to heal. He'd had a stroke, a major brain event. He had to be allowed to rest, Eddie wanted her husband back, but that was not going to even happen. She had to make her see that before her baby brother suffered anymore.

"All right, tell Joey he can come pick up the check tomorrow, and tell him if Annie needs to stay someplace after this well…we'll help. Partners are family." Eddie looked at Jamie. "I think it's time you did you evening stretches that Roger showed us and went to bed Erin, I'm sure your dad would love it if you said goodnight to him before you left."

Erin knew it was late and smiled, "I will see Dad and Jamie, remember what we talked about okay? You getting your rest."

He nodded and dialed Joey, he couldn't please his wife if he did as Erin asked and he couldn't please Erin if he did as Eddie asked. At least, for the moment anyway, he could please Joey. There was something really ironic about that. .

"Hi, Joe, it's Dad," Jamie said when his son answered the phone. "Mom and I talked and you can come pick up the check tomorrow after your tour. We are happy to help Annie anyway we can, she's family. Tell her for me and Mom that this money is not from your Commissioner, this is from your Dad."

Jamie smiled at Joey's reply as Eddie got ready for bed. She peeled off her stocking and looked at her still swollen arm. She put on her lotion and wrapped her arm more loosely for sleeping.

"Do you want me to rub that down?" Jamie asked.

"No, you shouldn't tire yourself out," Eddie almost snapped. "I can handle it."

"Eddie it looks like it's getting much worse," Jamie observed with great concern. "Let me rub that down and…"

"Jamie, I said I was fine, but you aren't." Eddie sighed as she looked at the haphazard way Jamie was positioned. "You know better than to let your foot turn out like that, and where is your pillow?"

"My back was hurting so Erin…" Eddie's eyes flashed. "You are not supposed to have your leg turn out or go without a pillow and you know it!" Eddie fixed Jamie's leg and put it up for him but without the usual tender touches she always displayed on him.

"Eddie, can we please talk about this?" Jamie sighed. "I know that you are upset…"

"Jamie, not now!" Eddie said firmly. "Not now, please. I am tired. Let's get you settled then I am going to go to bed."

"Eddie, we said we'd never go to bed angry," Jamie reminded her.

Eddie turned on a heel, "I hate to tell you Jamison how often over the last 28 years I broke that vow."

With care but not tenderness, Eddie got Jamie into the evening diaper, positioned his pillows, and slid into bed out of his reach. Jamie tried again, "Eddie, I know I hurt you…"

"No, Jamie!" Eddie replied. "This afternoon was supposed to be special and you just let your sister come in here and usurp that! You constantly listen to Erin and do her bidding over mine! Always but lately it just bothers me more!"

Jamie sighed, "Eddie, Erin isn't like you. This was so hard for her. You have no idea how hard it is, you are an only child…"

"I have no idea how hard…Jamie you are my husband, it is agony for me every single day to watch you like this, struggling to get better…but you know what is harder? Watching you not struggle, watching you give in and give up! I won't do have that!"

Eddie turned over on her side and shut her eyes against the tears there. Jamie reached out and slapped at her with all the control he had in his weak leg arm. "I know you are angry. I'm sorry but that doesn't mean we can't hold each other, honey."

"Jamie, right now I don't want to sleep with you but I am because you need someone during the night. I am going to sleep I suggest you do the same." With that Eddie moved even farther away from Jamie while remaining on the bed and let the tears fall down her face silently into the pillowcase.


	19. Chapter 19

**A shorter chapter today and a major blowout between Eddie and Erin. Poor Jamie and Frank caught in the middle. No worries, wounds will be healed in time for the big day…Lila's Wedding….Hope you enjoy!**

Chapter Nineteen

Eddie woke up to Jamie struggling to put on his brace. He decided during a sleepless night of listening to his wife crying he would show her he was making an effort. Still he wasn't able to get it on. He tossed it to the side frustrated and worked on getting his pajama pants off to get into dry clothes.

"Jamie, if you need help, just ask," Eddie sighed getting up. "You slept well if you didn't wake me."

"I didn't sleep and neither did you," Jamie snapped. "I listened to you cry and you wouldn't even let me get to you."

"Jamie, I was really angry and frustrated last night," Eddie sighed. "Mostly with Erin but a little with you. How can you just succumb to her like that? I know she's not tough like me, she's not as hard shelled as I am…"

"I didn't mean that the way it sounded," Jamie sighed as Eddie cut off the diaper and replaced it with a pair of underwear. "You want jeans or sweats?"

"Sweats, Roger is going to work my leg more today and let my arm rest, it's been locking up most of the night," Jamie replied.

Eddie nodded, "While you are in therapy, I'll go to the herb store and get some chamomile and camphor. I can make a rub for you it and we can wrap it at night in warm compresses. That might help." Eddie was upset with him, but she didn't want him to suffer.

"Thanks, baby," Jamie replied and reached up his weak arm to cup Eddie's cheek. He concentrated and moved his thumb over her face. "I love you, Eddie. I do…"

"I need you to fight, Jamie. I see you making progress with your arm and that is great, but you are barely moving your leg and you gave in so fast."

"She was like a mother to me when my mom died," Jamie replied. "And she's in the mode now. I felt like she was a mother figure too, you know this Ed. My father is worried, he's not liking the hours of work outs either. They are a little more old school, therapy is just as important as rest is."

Eddie nodded, "Jamie, if you are done, then be done, all right? Tell me and we'll stop. I'm in love with you, I'm fine with your choices, but I want them to be your choices."

Jamie nodded and helped Eddie get him into his chair. "The brace is too tight, honey. It's hurts my foot."

Eddie loosened it the pushed him to the breakfast table where they were greeted by Frank's morning smile.

"Eddie, you just missed Lila. She said to tell you she and Steven can both go next Saturday to look at halls in Staten Island. I want to go if that's all right, I'd like to help with a piece of it."

Jamie smiled, "We can afford a nice wedding, Dad."

"I know, but Lila is the only granddaughter I have that will be having a full out wedding and I want to make it nice for her," Frank replied. "It'll be fun."

Eddie agreed, looking forward to planning Lila's wedding with her was her only light in her life. "Okay, Saturday it is. Jamie can you fix it with Roger?"

Jamie gladly agreed to the trip to the hall and started to work on peeling his banana for breakfast.

Eddie ate with the men then made her lists for the grocery store and the herbalist. "Frank did the eucalyptus help you breathing or should I try something else?"

"No, Eddie, that worked really well, with the lavender stuff at night, I can use more of that. There's money by the…" Eddie waved her hand at him. "Frank stop being silly."

Roger arrived just as Eddie was ready to pull out of the driveway. She turned down the street to the right just as Erin turned up the street from the left. Roger had Jamie in the kitchen lying on a board. "Move your left arm to the side and up until it pulls…You should feel it in your shoulder and your back."

"Yeah…I do…" Jamie replied. "Oh son of a…" His entire arm spasmed. "Roger…"

"All right, take a breath…" Roger saw so many of his patients get into the horrible spasms but it was a sure sign of healing. When one began in Jamie's leg too he was in tears as Roger worked on his arm. This sight greeted Erin when she came into the house. "What are you doing? Let my brother up now!"

"Oh, you must be Erin, I'm Roger and we're a little busy…"

"You are not busy any longer," Erin said firmly. "You are torturing my brother. He's had a stroke but he's also the Commissioner of the NYPD. Get out of this house now! Get out of here now, he doesn't need your help!"

"On the contrary," Roger replied. "He's benefitting from my help and you didn't hire me. The hospital assigned me and only Jamie and his wife can ask for my reassignment."

Roger turned back to Jamie, "It's all right, try to breathe. Should I call your wife?"

"I can care for my brother, she doesn't even listen to him. He's in horrible pain and you aren't even treating him." Erin knelt down, "Jamie do you want to get into bed?"

The pain was clouding his mind as well as fatigue from a nearly sleepless night, "I…can't…I can't…Roger, I'm sorry." 

Roger sighed, "All right, Jamie. We'll give it a rest." He was upset, he was making such progress but between the pain and a meddling older sister Jamie was going the way of so many previous patients.

Roger had Jamie in bed and had left before Eddie returned from the store. Eddie got a call from Roger while she was in the herbalist shop. "Hey, Roger, is he okay?"

"Eddie, I'm sorry but Jamie had a couple of bad spasms and his sister came over…she meddled a little in his treatment and he asked me to leave. I'll come back in a couple of days after he's rested but I must insist that you be present at all future sessions. It was very easy for him to give up with that kind of affirmation."

Eddie's vision turned completely red. How dare Erin meddle in Jamie's physical therapy? Roger was terrific and if she kept it up they would lose him and Jamie would remain crippled by the stroke for life! "I will be there, you have my word." Eddie hung up, paid for her purchases and drove home.

As she drove her phone beeped, "Mom, don't worry about having Dad come to the hall with us. Aunt Erin said she would come and give the second opinion. Girls plus grandpa. ;)"

Eddie sped up, "Oh no she doesn't."

Eddie parked and brought the grocery bags into the house. Jamie was not in his chair that was outside the bedroom door. Frank was not anywhere to be seen. "Jamie!" Eddie thundered coming into the house. "Jamison Reagan!" Eddie was so angry she couldn't breathe. She stormed into the bedroom to find Erin feeding Jamie his lunch while he laid on the bed sheets, leg once again turned out. He did look sick, like he needed to vomit.

Eddie walked up to Erin and took the bowl from her hand. "He can feed himself." Eddie slammed the bowl on Jamie's bed tray. "You know you can feed yourself and you know your leg needs to be straight. You will keep having the cramps if you do that!" Eddie roughly fixed Jamie's leg.

"Hey, don't handle him like that!" Erin snapped. "If you can't take care of him then let someone else do it!"

"You'd love it if I did that! That would make you day. Replace your ex and your daughter with my husband and my child! Over my dead body!" Eddie is screaming now, Jamie is shocked. He had never seen his wife lose her temper like this. Not ever.

"Eddie, calm down, honey. Calm down." Jamie tried to get a hold of her but she was wound way too tight.

"Get out!" Eddie demanded. "Get the HELL out of my house!"

"It's not your house!" Erin snapped her temper showing as well. "This is my father's house. You are the outsider here!"

"Erin…" Jamie gasped. "Eddie, both of you stop this!"

Jamie tried in vain to stop the yelling. Frank, who had been sleeping upstairs, headed down and banged his cane. "You ladies stop this nonsense now!"

"She is trying to throw me out of YOUR house Dad," Erin said emphatically pointing at Eddie.

"It is our house, we pay the bills here, you get the HELL out. GET OUT!" Eddie was crying, sobbing actually as she repeatedly demanded for Erin to leave. Stubborn to the core, Erin was not budging.

Jamie was getting more and more upset as the battle waged. He hated to see Eddie in pain but also did not want to see Erin hurt or upset. Frank was doing his best to get them to lower the volume before the neighbors called the police. He was too late.

"27-Charlie, response to a domestic disturbance and 8070 82nd Street, repeat 8070 82nd street," the radio crackled. Both officers looked at each other. 8070 82nd Street was as familiar to them as 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. "27- Charlie, show us responding," the unit said hitting the lights and speeding to the house.

"I want you out! I want her out of here, Jamie…" Eddie was looking to her husband and her old partner for back up. "Jamie…"

Before Jamie could reply, there was a knock on the door. "NYPD, open up."

Jamie rolled his eyes, "You have got to be kidding me. Dad…" Frank nodded and hurried to answer the door. "Good afternoon, officers. Everything is fine, we just have some high emotions…"

Eddie quickly got Jamie into his chair, he was going to have to talk to his officers. Eddie rolled him out, "Sir!" The officers snapped to attention when they saw Jamie. "As you were. Everything is fine…it's all fine. My wife is very upset. No one is in danger, you can call it a 10-91 and return to patrol."

Both officers obeyed and left the house. Jamie had been unaware, as was Eddie, how slouched he was and how disheveled he looked. He did not command any respect in that state at all, something that could hurt him later.

Eddie gave up, she sat down on the kitchen floor, buried her face and cried. Her husband didn't even back her up, everything was falling apart.

"Erin, you need to leave," Frank finally said as he watched all of this. "I know you mean well but everyone is very upset, Jamie is under too much stress now. Please go home and we can all talk this out later when everyone is calmer. This is Eddie's house…please."

Frank gave her a big hug to show no hard feelings and watched as Erin angrily and still reluctantly left the house


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. This chapter begins to bridge a gap that we have been witnessing from certain family members. Hope you like this update as much as the last. Thanks for reading. I am looking forward to your comments. I cherish each one and do my best to respond to them all.**

Chapter Twenty

"He smelled bad," Annie laughed as she and Joey returned to the precinct after their tour. "It's not my fault. I have a sensitive stomach."

"My mother used to throw up after they had some really bad perps," Joey laughed. "And she was a fabulous cop."

"I envy your Mom though, being able to take time off and be home with you and your sister. I wish I was able…"

Joey cupped her shoulder, "I know you wish that, I wish it too. But hey, if you were home with the kiddos you wouldn't be my partner." Joey headed to the locker room but called over his shoulder, "Beers?"

"Yeah, I can do a beer. See you in 20," Annie replied and headed to her own locker room.

While Joey changed, his Sergeant came up to him. "Reagan, how's your mother?"

"My Mom is fine, why?" Joey replied. "It's my Dad that's been sick."

"A unit out of the 2-7 responded to a 911 call from your neighbors. Apparently, your mom was attempting to extricate your aunt from the premises rather vocally and they called the PD thinking it was an intruder," the Sergeant explained. "The officers did say your dad was in pretty rough shape so maybe you want to…"

Joey was already searching for Annie. "Ann, can I get a rain check? Something came up at my folks place and I have to check on my mom."

"Sure, you need some back up?" Annie asked him concerned for him. He was taking on a lot of family responsibility.

"No, but I'll come over later, okay?" Joey asked. He had a feeling after dealing with his folks he's need a dose of Annie.

Annie nodded, "Give them my best, okay?"

Joey nodded and drove off toward his family's home in Brooklyn.

"Eddie," Jamie sighed trying to get to talk to him. "Eddie, please…" She finally got off the floor an hour ago and had retreated to their bed in the study. She hadn't spoken a word since ordering Erin out of the house but remarkably was still in tears.

"Jamie, let her be for a while," Frank advised. "Just let her be for a bit." Frank eased Jamie's chair to the table. "Have some tea and bread and just let Eddie have her time. You can fix it in a little bit."

Frank poured two cups of Irish tea and handed Jamie a slice of cinnamon bread. "What was that?" Frank asked. "Do you even know?"

"Eddie has had this thing with Erin since our wedding day," Jamie sighed. "She overheard Erin telling me not to marry her. That's not really what she said but it is what Eddie heard. She was just making sure that I knew what I was getting into. I loved her so much I knew but Erin was trying to look out for me."

Frank sighed, "She overstepped then, trying to look out for you in the absence of your Mom. But Danny and I had that covered. So it hurt Eddie and she held onto that for 30 years?"

Before Jamie could answer Joey rushed in the door way, "Where is she?" he asked looking for Eddie. 'Where is my mother?"

"Joey," Jamie said in a hushed tone. "She might have gone to sleep, she went into the bed."

Joey turned around angry, "You had the damn police here tonight, and you don't call me and tell me that Aunt Erin was here and upset my mother to the point she was screaming and crying. Your wife by the way. Remember you said I do and promised to…"

"Joseph Patrick!" Frank said firmly. "If are here to check on your mom go see her, if you are here to pick on your Dad keep walking."

Joey turned on his heel and went to his parents' makeshift bedroom, "Mom?" He could hear Eddie still crying. "Oh Mom…" Joey kicked off his shoes and laid on the bed with her like he did as a little boy. "It's all right Mom. It's all right."

"He's going to give up, Joey," Eddie sobbed in her son's arms. "I can take anything as long as it isn't that."

Joey kissed Eddie's hair, "Momma." He rocked her gently. "Ssh, Mom, you want to come to me? You want to come home and crash at my place? Let him fend for himself for a few days."

Eddie wiped her raw face, "No, I can't do that. If I do and Aunt Erin comes over here to help him she might undo the progress he did make. He can sit up now on his own and he can use his arm a little. He held my hand…"

Joey nodded, "Tell me what happened Mom."

Eddie wiped her eyes again, "I'm okay honey, I'm just having a pity party. I'm being so mean to Dad, I shut him out…"

Joey sighed, "Mom, tell me what happened with Aunt Erin? Why did the police come?"

"She was…Dad's been having painful spasms and I went to the grocery and herbalist for things for him while he had his PT. Aunt Erin saw him in the midst of one and she told Roger to leave. He let her…he just let her tell him to go. He didn't just say I need a break but that's not the worst part."

Joey reached for a tissue and wiped Eddie's face, "What's the worst part?"

Eddie began to cry again, harder than before thinking of Lila. Eddie spilled everything about Erin and her own wedding to Jamie, the plans for Lila's gown, that she has usurped Jamie from going to shop for halls with them. "Mom, Lila loves you so much. She does, Aunt Erin could not replace you. Ssh." Joey stroked her head. "Even if she could, I love you so much, you could never be replace okay? With Dad either. Lie down now, let me see your arm."

Eddie's left arm was still swollen. "Mom…" Joey sighed. "Where's your ring?"

"It doesn't fit, my fingers are so swollen. Joey, I'm so sorry this is on you…"Eddie choked on another sob. "I can't help him, Joey. I can't be what he needs. I have to have my husband back and…maybe that's not what he can do…" Eddie was so ashamed to be saying these things to her son. He was a grown man but her child as well. "You didn't see it, Joe. You didn't…and it's all I remember…how he was lying there and…I need him back."

"Don't get upset, Mom. It's fine. I'm glad you talked to me, all right. I love you…" Joey propped her arm on several pillows. It was all making sense to him now. She resented his aunt for her overbearing Reagan style, but the real pain was her own sense of failure and grief. "Keep this arm up…I mean it. I'm going to talk to Dad and Grandpa."

Joey kissed her head and moved her arm so it rested fingers down to run out the fluid.

When Joey appeared in the kitchen Jamie demanded, "I want to go to your mom. She needs me Joey, I have to make her see…"

"You hurt her, Dad," Joey said firmly. "Your both hurt her. You let Aunt Erin come run the show. You can't do that. You have to decide, Dad if you are going to give up. If you decide you have to give up, then give up but don't let anyone choose it for you."

"I'm not, I had so much pain, but what do you know of it? You are never here!" Jamie let some frustration go.

"My mother is in bed in there, so upset. Her arm is so swollen she's not wearing her ring, I've never seen her take off her ring, not ever. That has to be killing her. Did you even notice or are you too wrapped up in yourself? That's why you let that woman do this…"

"Hey," Frank broke in. "That woman is you aunt, show some respect."

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "But I just saw my mother crying so hard her face is red and her arm…I'm not going to permit it Dad. You treat her better or I am taking mom to my place. You had a stroke and that is terrible. You worked hard and I admire it but you are losing sight of Mom and her needs and I never thought you would. If you want to go to her I'll take you but if you make her cry, I'm taking her home with me."

"Joey," Jamie sighed. "Help me go to Mom now. She wouldn't let me go to her." Jamie hated that he needed to ask for help to go to his wife. He wanted to be able to rush the bedroom and grab her, holding her tight until she stopped making that horrible sound, the one that ripped his heart out of his chest since the first time she let him see her cry.

It was evident that Jamie was upset too and needed so much to offer comfort to his wife. Joey pushed his chair into the bedroom. "Dad, I'm going to put you to bed because Mom's arm is too bad. She needs to have it resting on the pillows."

Jamie looked at Eddie, "Leave us for a few minutes, Joey. Please. Help Grandpa."

Joey obeyed and let his father sit by his mother's side. "Eddie, I'm sorry. The pain was so bad. My arm and my leg and I just took the excuse. The spasms, you have some idea, you had them when you had chemo. I never should have quit and I never should have made you feel like you were fighting alone. I'm so sorry angel. I am sorry and I am going to keep fighting I promise you that."

Eddie looked at Jamie's eyes, "I do not want her here, I mean it. This is our home and she is not welcome here. If I am such a horrible wife and mother I don't need it jammed down my throat. You tell her that she is not welcome in this house or I will take Joey up on his offer to live with him in the city."

Jamie sighed, "Family dinner is important to Dad and we have the here, honey. I can't just…"

"Family dinner is fine, I won't punish your Dad. I will be civil and hospitable for his sake and yours but the dropping in stops. Also, she stops communicating with Lila about the wedding. She disinvited you from picking out a hall with our daughter, Jamie."

"She's over protective and in her old age a little meddlesome, I will set some boundaries, I promise you. I will set boundaries. Now you and I have to talk. I never want you to shut me out like you did today!"

Eddie turned her face away from him. She was still deeply hurt by everything that was happening but it was more than that. Jamie knew it. "Eddie…I know this is hard for you. It's no picnic for me either. You think I like having to wear diapers and sometimes be fed or dressed? I don't. I am working so hard but it's not happening fast enough. Now this new development…I think maybe, you should sleep upstairs. Just for a while. At least one of us will be rested."

Eddie only continued to lie still on their bed, new tears running out of swollen eyes. "If you are tired…"

"No," Eddie managed around the lump in her throat. "No, you need me and I am not going to shirk my duty as your wife. If you want to give up, give up, Jamie…but you make that choice. The stroke took your arm and your leg and some of your independence, but it didn't take your mind, thank God. Still, around Erin, you act like it did. You don't speak up, you don't advocate…and I am so tired of doing that for you. I will feed you, bathe you, change your diapers, I don't care…but I can't keep fighting for you when you won't fight for yourself."

Her words hit home, he was complacent today, letting the pain get to him. "I'll try harder, Eddie. I promise. But I need another promise from you. Tomorrow morning, you call that vascular surgeon and have him look at this arm. It's not getting better, this is the fifth time now and…."

"All right, I will call him tomorrow but you call Roger and apologize," Eddie stated firmly. "And call Joey to put you in, I do need to let it rest tonight. Can you please do that for me?"

Jamie yelled for their son and he made very short work of the bedtime routine. He was able to lift Jamie's legs with an ease that Eddie did not possess. Eddie instructed him where to place Jamie's pillows and how to make it so he could sleep with ease and not have to move too much at night. Joey kissed Eddie's cheek and brought both parents tea before heading out. "You good, Grandpa?" he asked Frank. He was hotheaded but responsible.

"I'm good, Joey. Thank you for coming by, I think it helped your mother a lot."

Joey nodded, "Grandpa, I love Aunt Erin and I love you too but I will not allow my mother to be upset like this. If Aunt Erin can't keep her opinion to herself regarding our part of the family, I'm going to take mom to the diner on Sunday and you and Aunt Erin can explain to the rest of the family. Mom getting so worked up is bad for Dad's health too. He could get so worked up he has another stroke that turns his brain to scrambled eggs. No one else thinks of that but I do. I do think of it because if that happens I have to hold up my mom and make sure Lila and I don't lose both parents."

Frank nodded his agreement, "I worry for my son every day, Joe. He is still my boy, you won't see that until you are a parent too. I'll see you Sunday, everyone will be at the table, on their best behavior. We have a deal?"

Joey trusted Frank to keep things in line, "Deal."


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Thanks for the fabulous reviews. I am so glad that everyone is enjoying the story and is engaged in what I happening with our family. In the chapters to come we will really see the changes in Joey that a Guest reviewer is waiting for. Please keep the comments coming, I love to hear from my readers!**

Chapter Twenty-One

Annie heard the knocking as she packed boxes for her impending move. Joey said he was stopping by after he talked to his parents. She put down the packing tape and opened the door.

"Hey," Annie moved back and went to get Joey a beer. "How did it go? Are they okay?"

Joey nodded, "My dad is okay. I think Mom just didn't get him situated right in his chair, so he looked all slumped and sloppy instead of neat like they are usually seeing him. It was my Mom."

Annie handed him the beer and sat down on her leg. "Did she fall or something?" Eddie Reagan was not old, she was in her late fifties but Joey had always been worried and super protective of her.

"No, she just…" Joey took a sip of his beer. "I think she finally realized what happened. She tried to blame it on an argument with my aunt and believe me my aunt can be over the top when it comes to my Dad, she's older by almost 12 years and was like a mom to him after my grandma died but while she was crying…she said…so many things about the stroke, how she needs him back. She's depressed."

"Joey, your mom is so strong and the love your parents have for each other…" Annie sighed.

"No, I always thought that too, but I think they might be headed for trouble. I heard my dad suggest they sleep apart. The last time they slept apart was when she was sick but it was because he was scared to roll and hurt her. He slept in a chair at her side. Something is seriously wrong."

"They have been through a lot," Annie sighed. "Being partners and having to deny how they felt, that can't be easy but they survived it. You said your mom had a hard time getting pregnant but they survived that and her cancer, they'll be okay. Will you?" Annie noticed how Joey's face had fallen.

"I put my father to bed tonight," Joey confessed. He's not even 60 and I had to pick him up and put him to bed. My mother, not even 57, has an arm the size of some people's legs, she can't put her wedding ring on...it hurts."

"I know it does. I know," Annie sighed and put her arm around Joey's shoulders. "You got my back, I have yours. You need to come here and vent to me, do it. They need you now. Your dad is going to get better, he's going to, it's just a question of when."

Joey smiled at Annie's positive attitude. "It's hard you know. I think if I were his age and my Dad was my grandpa's age it would feel better but…it's weird. I'm not even 25."

"You will be in three months, but I know what you mean. I feel like that too. That I'm much too young to feel this old." Annie sipped her beer and her eyes met Joey's.

She's so pretty, Joey thought to himself as he looked at her. Long dark hair, alabaster skin, bright green eyes. No, he scolded himself. It was wrong. "I get that," Joey replied. "Thanks for listening to me Ann. See you at role?"

Annie nodded. Joey downed the rest of his beer before going home to prepare for a long Saturday afternoon tour.

"Why did you drag Danny all the way out here?" Eddie asked as Jamie diligently worked on velcroing his sneakers. "I could get you in the car just fine."

"Really, until that ring goes back on you are on limited duty, Detective," Jamie ordered lightly but with full meaning.

"Not likely, Jamie. You aren't mobile yet and Lila isn't home when we get up. Your dad, he's 92 so that leaves me. We can't ask Danny to drive out here to lift you. It isn't right!"

"Danny doesn't mind doing it, between him, Sean, Jack, and Joe you can rest until you are feeling better. I know how much that hurts, Eddie. You think I sleep through you tossing and turning all night long?" Jamie leaned over and did his other shoe. "There, now just get the waist band up and I am home free."

Eddie watched Jamie's determination to get all of his clothing on himself. He got the pants up then worked on his shirt. After five minutes though he hollered for her. "Eddie, help. I'm stuck."

Eddie went to Jamie and gently pulled his bad arm through his shirt. Spontaneously she kissed him flush on the lips, "I am so proud of you! Look what you did! You even got your socks and shoes on by yourself. That was so great!"

Jamie beamed with pride and was still smiling when Danny arrived. "Okay Kid, you ready to get into the car? Do you have a special way to sit like you have to lay?" Danny is glaring at Eddie, apparently he heard.

"No, I just need a pillow for my arm and my back but Eddie did that. Thanks for doing this Danny, she can't do all that pushing and pulling. Look at her arm."

While Danny was getting Jamie settled Eddie was wrapping her arm in bandages with Frank's help, "Is it too tight?" he asked.

"No, it's good, thanks Dad," Eddie replied smiling. "You ready, you have you inhaler?"

Frank smiled, she took great care of them. He rubbed Eddie's cheek with the back of his hand. Eddie headed for Staten Island. They were meeting Lila and Steven at Snug Harbor for a noon appointment.

"Who is coming?" Steven asked. "You said your mom and your aunt but this morning when your Mom called she said it was your dad and your grandpa with her."

"It was supposed to be Mom and Aunt Erin but now it's Dad and Grandpa. I think Dad felt left out. He's so difficult though, he's going to analyze the life out of everything."

Steven wrapped his arms around her, "Lil, so do you. Look at your with notebooks and charts. You are your father's daughter to a T." He kissed her deeply and only came up for air when they heard Frank clear his throat.

"Hey, Grandpa." Lila smiled and went to hug him. "Hey Dad, you look good." Jamie was sitting up straight, and had his 1000 watt smile on his face.

He raised his weak arm and held Lila a little with both his arms, "Oh…my beautiful baby." Jamie kissed her cheek.

"Mom," Lila hugged her Mom. "I love your hair like that."

"Thanks honey, so…let's have a look around here. I already love the arch and the reflecting pool for pictures. Jamie, if you get tired or need the bathroom please tell me."

Frank used Jamie's chair like a walker and pushed him around the grounds while the coordinator took them around. "The ceremony can be held her or in a church, and then pictures outside and inside. We have an excellent chef and here is a list of vendors that we recommend along with our prices."

She handed the price list to Jamie which made him secretly smile, he felt as if he was part of the scenery since the stroke but today this total stranger recognized his right to make choices as father of the bride.

"I like this place," Jamie said as the headed back to the car. Steven was appointed to help him get into the vehicle. "That arch is just like the one in Washington Square Park where Mom and I got our wedding photos done. That would be a nice connection don't you think, Kitten?"

"Yes and I really like this place too. Can we look at the other places though or are you getting too tired?" Lila was concerned for her Dad.

"No, we can see the other places but I like how they are so organized," Jamie smiled. He was settled in the car again and they headed to the next venue.

All in all the wedding hall shopping went really well. By the end of the night they had narrowed it down to Snug Harbor and Above Weddings. Jamie liked the organization at both places, "So now it's down to availability," Lila said as they sat at table at Morelli's.

"Lila and I are looking forward to a fall wedding so if they have fall dates at Above I'm going to do that…I think that's a good place," Steven replied.

Jamie smiled, "You have to get the mini lamb chops…" He chuckled and looked at Eddie. "My mini lamb chop." He leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"I think we will do that Dad," Lila said smiling. She loved that her father was involved but was upset at the rift between her mother and her godmother. She gently broached that subject as they enjoyed their appetizer.

Eddie had one eye on Jamie's jaw making sure he chewed his food carefully. "Be careful with the spaghetti, honey." Eddie was nervous about the long strands of food.

"I'm fine, baby," Jamie replied. "Don't worry, let's enjoy ourselves."

"Mom," Lila said as Eddie focused on Jamie and their pasta sampler. "What's with you and throwing Aunt Erin out?"

Eddie looked at her plate then her daughter, "Aunt Erin interfered in Dad's therapy and that was not what he needed to try to get well again. I asked her to leave, she refused. I got very angry and upset, that was my fault and I'm so sorry I put Dad and Grandpa in that position but for now Aunt Erin needs to worry about herself and let me take care of Dad and this wedding. Okay?"

Lila knew she had been shut down and if her mother's tone wasn't enough the glare she was getting from her father was. He had told her not to go there with her mom in the past, she knew she better drop it and discuss pleasanter things.

Jamie and Eddie were both exhausted the night when they returned home. Frank headed up to bed almost immediately as Eddie worked to get Jamie into the house and ready for sleeping. "I had a nice time," he told her as she undressed him with much more assistance from him than usual. He really was trying to show her he was on her side.

"Me too, and you enjoyed your meal. You ate well and didn't even make a mess, you are getting better honey." Eddie smiled and put his legs in. "Maybe let's try you on your good side tonight, maybe back sleeping is making the spasms worse?"

Jamie agreed to try to sleep on his right side supported by pillows at his back and Eddie's body in this front. "There, are you comfy?" she asked taking his bad arm and placing it around her body.

"I couldn't ask for better, in my own bed, my wife in my arms…this is perfect."

But perfect would not carry over, Jamie knew that. Dinner was tomorrow and tensions were running high.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing so steadily. I am touched you all take the time to send your feedback. Please enjoy this rocky family dinner. There are happy times ahead, hang in there, just like the Reagans.**

Chapter Twenty – Two

"Linda, can you get the roast out for me please?" Eddie asked her sister-in-law who had admonished her for not calling the doctor.

Linda bent and retrieved the meat. "What's Jamie eating?" He wasn't up to roast yet.

"That pot on the back there, it's ground beef and sauce, that's his, just put it on his potatoes, he's been eating like that a week or two now and he's doing great. He barely coughs at all and he likes it too."

"That's really good," Linda agreed. "Danny said when he came yesterday he felt like Jamie was working with him a little, pushing with his leg and things, he's making real progress. He might make his goals if he stays focused."

Erin was in the corner of the room staying quiet, she had gotten a call from her father, her younger brother, and her nephew all warning her, Joey's of course the most vehement and vicious. He was in full on bear mode protecting his mother. She had a headache from the tension of it all. She was glad to hear Jamie was getting better, but it hurt her to her core to see him in pain and struggling. She had to stop that, it was her job as his sister.

"Yes, those are Jamie's goals," Eddie said pointedly to all in the room. "I have told him when he wants to say stop, we stop but until he's sure we keep fighting."

"Eddie, where do you want me to have Jamie sit?" Danny asked poking his head into the kitchen. "He wants to go to the table now."

"At the head just have his weaker arm next to my chair," Eddie replied. "We'll be ready in about ten minutes. Lila, pour the wine and just put a little of it in Dad's glass, half the amount."

Lila agreed and offered her aunt a warm smile, "Mom will come around," she assured her in a soft whisper. "I'm glad you came."

Erin smiled, Lila had a special place in her heart. She picked up some of the rolls and butter and carried those to the table.

"There you go, Jamie," Danny encouraged as Jamie tried to get from his wheelchair to the armed dining room chair. "You just push that leg, push it with your hip…" Danny gave the weak leg a slight shove so it did what Jamie wanted.

"Dad, what are you doing?" Lila gasped. "You aren't supposed to do that without Roger!"

"I am eating in a regular chair," Jamie said firmly. "With my family. This is a surprise for Mom. She needs to see me trying, it will be better for everyone if she sees me try. "

By the time Eddie and Linda got to the table, Jamie was seated at the head of the table in his regular seat, his wheelchair discarded in the corner of the room. Joey was skeptical about this, his Dad still had a hard time holding posture and if he started to slouch during the meal it might really upset his mom.

"Jamie…" Eddie beamed when she saw him. "Did you?"

"Two little steps with a nudge from Danny but yes!" He reached out as soon as Eddie put the roast on the table. He gave her a warm one armed hug. "I made you a promise."

"I'll keep mine," Eddie whispered. "First thing tomorrow I'll call Dr. Brady." She caressed his cheek. "Did you shave yourself?"

"Yeah, I did. I had help from Joey on the side I can't really feel but just when I missed." He lowered his voice, "We can celebrate later for now the food is getting cold. Everyone sit, Lila, it's your turn to say grace."

Lila said the blessing and the food was passed. Eddie put a mixture of ground beef, mashed potatoes, gravy and broccoli on Jamie's plate. "This looks really good." Eddie could tell he wished to be enjoying her roast but he knew better, not yet.

The table talk turned to Joey's partner's eviction, Danny and Linda's upcoming trip to Cape Cod, and of course Lila's wedding. "Mom really liked both places but Dad seems partial to Above. It has an elevator so we can get him up there too. It was the menu."

"The menu?" Erin asked relaxing in her familiar surrounding near her father and niece. Nikki rarely made it to family dinner she lived too far away having moved when her husband got a promotion. Erin would be lying if she didn't admit Lila filled the void.

"They have a huge array of butler passed stuff, and Dad likes most of the things so…"

"But he can't eat them," Erin replied. "Jamie, it's not prudent for you to choose a place on a menu you can't eat." She felt a sharp kick under the table coming from her right. She looked up at Frank, "Erin, pass the peas."

Lila talked about the wedding for most of the dinner. "Aunt Erin, has a good point Dad. Even some of the food Mom is making for you isn't' the best for you to swallow. Why don't you have peas? Why broccoli?"

"Dad likes broccoli more than peas," Eddie replied. "And he can feel the broccoli going down and know to self-correct…Why am I justifying my food choices for my own husband and my dinner table!?" Eddie was getting upset again and Jamie reached over to hold her hand.

"Lila, you spent most of your time in school, you have no idea what Mom is doing for Dad, okay? Your head is in the clouds, you're talking crap out of your rear end too. You give Dad small like a pea he'll choke!" Joey corrected, frustrated his sister seemed to be forgetting their mother in this and taking Erin's side.

"Excuse me!" Jamie said firmly. "I am in the room. Eddie made me broccoli because I like it and I asked her too. What I ask of my wife is my business. I'm not a thing! You know why I chose the places I did, they didn't treat me like a thing!"

Joey got angry as he saw his Dad getting upset. "Dad, calm down." He glared at Lila and his aunt. "Dad you want to go in your chair and eat in the kitchen with me?"

Jamie shook his head, touched by Joey's request. "No, this is family dinner, we are going to eat together here at this table." Jamie worked on his food while the rest of the family ate the roast, potatoes, and peas. He only had one episode of coughing where Eddie had to step in and rub his back. "Are you choking, Jamie?" she always asked. He would shake his head no, and work on moving the food.

"Concentrate, just think about the food and where you need to put it…" Her voice was as calm and tender as her hands on his back. When the food made it down she gave him some water and went about finishing her own plate.

While the men cleaned up the dishes, including Jamie, Lila sat in the living room with Erin. Linda had run to drop Jack at the train so he could make it back to 1 PP, he had an op to supervise. "He loves this place, Steven is fine with it too but…"

"You want something more elegant…this is not up you ally. Then talk to your dad and Steven…"

Eddie sighed and rolled her eyes. This was being settled she thought but here it was again, this lovely topic for the 900th time. And Erin was in the middle of it too. "Your dad liked that menu, Steven liked the fire exits and the rotating dance floor. The décor was plain but we can make it special honey…" Eddie replied trying to contribute to the discussion.

"But there are a few other places…" Erin amped it up them by going to get her tablet. Eddie disappeared from the room heading to the safety of the upstairs bedroom. Lila didn't notice she'd gone until she heard Joey calling, "Mom! Hey Mom…"

Eddie didn't hear Joey's call. When Joey didn't hear her footsteps he met his father's eyes. "Dad, I don't think she can hear me. I'm going to get her sit tight." Joey sympathetically rubbed his father's arm before going to look for Eddie. Frank held Jamie's hand, "Try to breathe son."

"Where is she?" Jamie moaned as the muscles in his leg bit down, crushing his leg bone. The pain was crippling, Eddie knew how to fix it. She knew how to rub the pain out.

Joey left Jamie with Danny and Frank and hurried to find Eddie. When he went into the living room he saw that Erin and Lila were working on the wedding stuff and Eddie was nowhere to be seen. "Lila, where's Mom? Dad needs her."

"Uh…she was…" Lila had a blank stare on her face. "She was…"

"You don't even know where you own mother is," Joey rolled his eyes. "Do you know WHO your mother is?" Joey ran upstairs calling for Eddie.

He found her fighting tears in their former bedroom, upset. "Mom, oh..damn it…Dad needs you. He's in bad pain…his leg."

Eddie nodded, wiping her tears. Jamie was more important than her jealousy or her own feelings. "I'm coming."

Joey wrapped his arms around Eddie, "He asked for you or I'd have let you be."

Eddie nodded and hurried to the kitchen to tend to Jamie.

While Eddie and Danny worked on getting Jamie onto the bed so she could massage his leg, Joey headed to the living room. "Goodnight, Aunt Erin. I need to speak to my sister alone."

Erin stood up to give Joey and Lila the room. Joey was seething but so was Lila. "What the Hell was that crack? That I don't know who my mother is?"

"Well, it looks to me like you don't!" Joey remarked. "You, Mom, and Dad had a nice day, you made plans, and now you are letting her undo it all!"

"Aunt Erin is really interested in my wedding!" Lila snapped. "Mom is too busy with Dad to…"

"Our father has a stroke!" Joey snapped. "You of all people should understand that he needs mom right now! You are here everyday! You see him struggle! He needs her so badly right now and she needs you but no…it's Aunt Erin this and Aunt Erin that…"

"I love Aunt Erin!" Lila argued. "She's my godmother and she is trying to help me and Dad. I don't see what's so wrong!"

Joey rushed his sister with anger in his eyes, "What's wrong is Aunt Erin has upset Mom and you continually disrespect our mother in favor of Aunt Erin. Mom and Aunt Erin had such a battle that the neighbors called the cops. That is why Dad disinvited her from your wedding shopping, Lila."

"What is Mom's problem? Aunt Erin wants my wedding to be great and reflect well on Dad and Grandpa! Mom…She' s…"

"I know you aren't planning to insult our mother right now…" Joey eyes were threatening.

"Oh for God's sake Joey! You don't give a damn about Mom or about Dad. All you care about is yourself! When he was in the hospital you barely even came! You held a grudge against your own father over a promotion!" Lila was now in tears, her voice raised to match her brother's.

"That was my mistake and I am paying for it feeling like maybe he's in that chair cause of me! That's he's in the bed in pain now because of me! He suffered longer than he had to tonight because of you! You are hurting our mother, our MOTHER. How dare you disrespect her wishes this way? First you undermine her at the table when she knows better than anyone how to feed Dad and now you do this. She was crying upstairs because of you!"

Jamie and Eddie heard their children's raised voices. "I'm going to put a stop to this. Are you all right?" Eddie noticed Jamie struggling.

"Get Danny, I'm going to put a stop to this right now!" He has that tone, the same tone as Joey had and the set in his jaw. Eddie knew she had no choice but to get Danny.

Both Reagan kids were nose to nose when Jamie and Eddie entered the living room. "You make my mother cry again being a selfish little witch so help me…"

"Joseph Patrick!" Eddie gasped at his words. "Enough."

Jamie looked at both kids with ice blue eyes, 'Yes, that is enough. We had the police here once already this week. Joey, what's going on son?"

Joey explained how he found Lila and Erin doing wedding things, having excluded Eddie again and how he found his mother upstairs in tears.

Jamie sighed, "Lila, we discussed this. I told you my feelings and I told you Mom was having some trouble with Aunt Erin now. I know you love her but I asked you to please respect me and respect your mom. You haven't done that."

"Dad, it's silly. Aunt Erin didn't do anything..."

"You see, Dad. Look at Mom's face when she says that. She might as well get a kitchen knife. It doesn't have to make sense, it's Mom's feelings."

Jamie nodded, "You're right, Joe. I do not like how you were towering over your sister or calling her names, we don't do that, but Lila, I told you what I expected, you ignored me. We are about family in this house. The entire Reagan family is important yes, but this branch right here, that's number one. If one of us has a problem we all have a problem, I raised you kids like that."

Eddie just stood there, her family was falling apart. Now her children were at each other's throats. Joey defending her, Lila defending her aunt. The depression that had taken hold over the last few days was in full force, "I'm so sorry, Lila. I am so sorry you got stuck with me for you mother. I am so sorry you all got stuck with the classless daughter of a conman."

There was no emotion in her voice. She turned and headed back upstairs. Jamie outwardly groaned. "Eddie not up there…" It was the one place he couldn't get to her. And she knew it.

Joey turned to Lila, "Look what you did. You know what, see if Aunt Erin will let you move in there, see if she'll pay for your wedding. If you don't' appreciate what you have, you don't deserve it."

"All right, Joey," Jamie said softly. "It's all right. Go on and see if Aunt Linda can talk to Mom. You go cool off in the kitchen, Lila you have a lot to think about. I take your part all the time you know that, I'm not doing it this time. We had that choice made and you had to go and…We had it made, the three of us together. Why aren't we good enough now?"

Jamie looked to Joey for help pushing his chair into the kitchen through to the bedroom again leaving Lila to think about everything she'd heard including the sobs coming from the upstairs bedroom. She looked around the house, at family photos and knew in her heart the only right thing to do.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: I know it's been a couple of rough chapters, but things are on the upswing now for the family. This chapter begins the second half of the story, that is largely about healing. The story is finally finished, 44 chapters in all. Thanks for sticking with me and continuing to send your feedback. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.**

Chapter Twenty – Three

"Thanks for meeting me," Lila said hugging Steven as tight as she could. She's been crying, her eyes hurt and felt like sand.

"Sure, you sounded so upset on the phone." Steven held Lila and rocked. "Come on, let's get you a tea and we'll talk it out."

Steven bought Lila tea and sat down. "What happened?"

"My brother and I had a huge blow out, my mother is so upset she ran upstairs, my father had a terrible muscle spasm, and my aunt can't help me with the wedding," Lila cried. "How did this happen?"

Steven held her hands, "There is a lot of stress in your house now and Lil, your mother and aunt, they never got along. They would be civil but they weren't the best of friends for years, baby."

Lila sighed, "So I can't have my godmother help me with my wedding. I don't want to exclude my mom, I don't, but…"

"Then why are you?" Steven asked. "We had a hall picked honey. You told me this started looking at a hall. It does seem to me that there was no reason to be looking at something else."

Lila sighed, "How do I fix it and not hurt anyone?" She looked at Steven her eyes bright red. "My aunt and I have higher end taste. My mom always liked stuff simple. I think it was the cop in her, just liked things functional. That's what my dad loved so much, she was so practical. I always liked things to be frilly and pretty and over the top. Even my tutus as a little girl I did that. Aunt Erin has my taste."

"There's nothing wrong with that," Steven soothed. "There is nothing wrong with that at all. I think the stress your mom is under with your dad and her own health being questionable for a bit there really did a number on her. I think you need to just give her some slack. Did you ask her about why she feels this way? That might help."

Lila sighed, "No, no I never did. My father told me a little about it but…I never talked to Mom about it. I thought it was silly for her to be jealous of me and Aunt Erin. I love Aunt Erin but she's my mom. Maybe…I have to go…"

Steven stood up and held her tight. "Just talk to her. You don't have to like what she says. You don't even have to agree, but you can't judge her until you listen to her."

Lila slid her arms up and gave Steven a kiss. "I love you. You helped me so much. I am going to go home and talk to my mom and dad. And you're right, we did have a good hall for the wedding. I'll ask Dad for the check to put a deposit on Above. We can do that this weekend."

Steven kissed her softly, "I love that idea. You want me to drive you?"

Lila agreed instead of taking the subway and got into Steven's car. Joey was outside on the porch when they pulled up. "He's still so mad at me."

"I'll stick around until you go inside, if he starts up I'll get out of the car, okay, love?" Steven gave her another kiss. He hated she was so hurt and upset. Their wedding was supposed to be so special and now it was causing such discord in her family. He just wanted to marry Lila, he did't care where or how. If this kept up City Hall sounded appealing.

Lila walked up the steps. Joey looked at her the back at his drink. Joey rarely drank hard liquor. "How is it going in there?"

"Sean gave Dad a shot for the pain, he's asleep now." Joey replied. "Mom's still upstairs. She came down for a little while to help Dad but went back up to their old room. Everyone else left. Grandpa is sitting with Dad, even with the shot he was still moaning a little but I think the spasms subsided for now."

"I'm going to check on Mom," Lila replied. "Joey, look…I'm sorry for everything I said."

Joey held up his hand, "Don't have to say anything, Sis. We have Reagan tempers, we both lost them. I am sorry that I did. But, we aren't the ones that need to hear it. Go tell our mother who is crying her eyes out and our father who is forced to let he because he can't get up the steps."

Lila was about to go inside when Annie's car pulled up outside. She raised her eyebrows and went inside.

Annie climbed the steps, "So this is where the Commissioner lives? Nice place. Reagan, you look like crap." Annie sat on the porch and took a sip of Joey's drink. "Oh, Scotch…Reagan…you need a beer huh?"

"I don't know Ann, I don't. I never felt such anger towards my little sister, not ever. I was inches from her face, if she was a man, there'd have been a huge fight, come to blows. I love my sister, but…"

Annie sighed, "I know you do, Joe. You have to protect your family. You are in a rough spot. I'm just glad you called me."

"Yeah, well, my dad always said that your partner should be your best friend. You are my best friend, Annie," Joey replied.

Annie smiled, 'You're mine. Now, do you need help in the house? I can fix your mom and dad some tea or…"

"Let's go get some beers, this is my Dad's stuff. I'm not into it." Joey went inside, "Mom, I'm going out but I'll be back," he called to Eddie but did not receive a reply. He hoped she was settling things with his sister.

When Lila went upstairs, she knocked on the door to what had been her parents' bedroom. There was no bed in there now, just the couch that once belonged in Jamie's den. She knocked the pushed the door open, "Mom, can I talk to you?"

Eddie had been dozing off after crying for several hours. "Of course," she replied. She would never turn away one of her children.

Eddie sat up and patted the sofa. Lila took a seat beside her and held her hand. "Mom I am so sorry. I guess I don't understand what is going on with you and Aunt Erin."

"It's hard to understand," Eddie replied. "Aunt Erin is your Godmother, and you love her very much. This has been going on since before Dad and I got married. Aunt Erin didn't feel that Dad should marry me. And she told him so the night before our wedding. It hurt knowing she thought so little of me and it hurts now thinking that maybe you don't think I'm good enough to be your mother."

"Mom, no…I love you so much," Lila choked up. "I really do, I love you. I guess I always felt you were simple and Aunt Erin was flashy, you know? I was flashy too. It has nothing to with whether or not I love you."

Eddie sighed, "I know. With Dad having the stroke, I wonder if I am enough for him and then seeing you, my baby girl…I just lost it. I'm sorry. You have the wedding you want, you invite whoever you want, you can plan with Aunt Erin…I won't stand in the way."

Lila reached out for her mother's hands, "I want to plan it with you. I love you Mom. I'm sorry. I'll talk to Aunt Erin too about Dad. Maybe it's best she gives you space."

"I know you want Aunt Erin's opinions for the wedding, honey," Eddie said empathetically. "You're right, you and she have similar taste. If you want her involved in the planning, for her opinions, then that's fine honey. But it's going to have to be an opinion, the final decision really need to be yours, Steven's, mine and Dad's. Especially Dad, he's signing the check."

Lila laughed at that. "Aunt Erin wants what's best for Dad, she really…"

Eddie held up her hand, "No, that is not true. What is best for Dad is for him to work hard and get better as long as he feels he wants to do so. He so wants to walk you down the aisle at the wedding. He wants to dance with you. It's all he's looked forward to doing since you were a little girl. I won't take that dream away from him."

Lila nodded her head, "I agree. She's just concerned he's going to make himself worse. Those spasms he's been having…"

Eddie nodded, "I know, it's hard on me too, but those pains are good things. They mean he's getting better. Tonight, Sean had to give him a morphine shot and he was still in pain after he fell asleep."

Lila patted Eddie's hand, "You want so go downstairs, I'll make some tea…"

"Mom, I'm going out but I'll be back," they heard Joey yell up before shutting the door.

Lila laughed, "Annie must be taking him out for beers."

Eddie looked at her, "Oh your father isn't going to like this…"

Lila laughed, "Let's have some tea and relieve Grandpa."

They headed downstairs and Lila turned on the kettle while Eddie poked her head into the study. "Dad, I'm down for the night, you can go up to bed."

"He's sleeping," Frank told her as he stood up slowly. "I think he's running a little bit of a temperature too, he's warm."

"That happens sometimes, the stroke…he'll wake up with a normal temp," Eddie said relatively calmly. "Thanks for sitting with him. Do you want a cup of tea? Lila is making some."

Frank sat down at the kitchen table. "I'm glad to see you two are working things out," he said looking at them both. "The behavior going on in this house the last few days is outrageous. It's put far too much stress and strain on Jamie, which is something a man in his condition cannot afford. Lila, you must have respect for you parents and their wishes even with being friends with Aunt Erin. Eddie, just because Lila has a good relationship with her aunt, does not mean she loves you less. The only thing I agree with you about Eddie, is Jamie. You are his wife and you make the decisions, not me, not Erin, not Danny."

Eddie nodded, "I know. Lila and I talked it out but I still think it's best that Erin keep her distance during Jamie's recovery. These are really Jamie's decisions, not mine. I will support what he wants but Erin is forcing her opinion on him."

Frank couldn't disagree, the arguing and the pressure hurt Jamie's chances at a full recovery. The talk turned to Lila's hall as Frank, Eddie, and Lila drank their tea. When Frank and Lila went up to bed Eddie slipped into the bedroom being very quiet. She didn't want to disturb Jamie. When he was in a deep sleep, he snored now. The muscles in his throat didn't always allow him to swallow without thinking, the natural secretions would vibrate. Eddie adjusted his head on the pillow, surprised but happy to see his beautiful blue eyes.

"Hey, you feeling better?" she asked softly. "You're running a little temperature? You want some cool water?"

"Yeah," Jamie replied. "Hot in here…"

Eddie got up and made a cool cloth for his head and a cup of water. "Take a sip…So…it's all right now. You don't have to worry. It's all going to be okay, sweetheart."

Eddie could see the toll the last few days had taken on Jamie. His speech was slurred a little and he sounded so tired. Jamie offered her a weak smile. He had come really far but that last couple of months from no movement at all to taking a couple steps and holding her hand with is weaker one. The pain though was causing his resolve to buckle, along with the tension and the strain. "'I'm so tired, Eddie," Jamie whispered as she smiled softly. "You are so beautiful…"

Eddie blushed and caressed his face, "When you're better…" She knew the look in his tired eyes, they missed each other badly. "We can celebrate when you're better. You are so handsome…"

Their lips met and caressed softly, a totally different way than what they had been doing. As tired as he was there was a little spark in Jamie's eyes. Eddie deepened their kiss, "Soon, I promise. Get some sleep now. I'll be back in a minute."

Eddie changed her clothes while Jamie fell asleep. It warmed her heart he was even thinking of making love, and soon, she knew he'd reach that goal, just like all the others, all she had to do was stay by his side.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Thanks for your continued support in this dramatic tale of the Reagan family. Joey and Jamie do some bonding over the next couple of chapters as Jamie continues to heal.**

Chapter Twenty-Four

Eddie pushed Jamie's chair into Dr. Brady's office that Wednesday with him offering minimal help pushing the wheels. If she didn't keep him centered the strength in his right arm would cause the chair to go in circles. He'd been very tired that Monday and Tuesday, and had cancelled his PT to remain in bed and rest with Eddie's blessing. He'd spiked another fever Monday night but woke with a temperature below normal the next morning as was usual.

Jamie insisted that he come to the appointment with Eddie. He was getting increasingly concerned about her arm. The first weeks he was home it would swell then go back down, but the last few weeks it had remained ballooned to the point where using her watch or her wedding ring was impossible. Jamie knew that more than anything hurt her heart.

Eddie signed in and sat down with Jamie. He reached over and took her hand in his kissing it. "Here, use my wheelchair pillow and put arm up. He's going to say you aren't elevating it enough."

Eddie sighed, "How am I supposed to do that Jamie? I have to run a house, take care of you and your dad, I can't just lie around with my arm on a pillow all day. Even with Joey and Danny helping out more now it's not getting better!"

Jamie stroked her hair, "I know it's not. I know it hurts, I'm sorry. I am trying Eddie."

"I know you are," Eddie replied. "This isn't your fault. I don't mean to make it sound like it is either."

"You haven't," Jamie assured her. "You are doing so much for me and for Dad. I will do better for you. Even if that means a facility…"

"No, I need you beside me. If you never left the bed again it would be all right with me as long as you were beside me." Eddie kissed his hand and then felt his fingers softly stroking the swollen skin.

"Used to I'd be able to make all of this fluid reabsorb with a few good massages and wrapping your arm, letting it rest. Now…" He sighed. "We do whatever he says, you hear?"

Eddie agreed and waited her turn quietly.

When she was finally called back, she pushed Jamie's chair until he was in the exam room seated next to the table.

Eddie had gained five pounds since the last time she got weighed. "Don't worry, Angel. Most of that is probably muscle from hauling me around or all that fluid."

Eddie sighed, "Or the tamoxifen Dr. McLean put me on again. If that's it I'm going to balloon up again so be ready."

"Eddie, no matter what you are beautiful to me," Jamie said softly. "So beautiful."

Jamie had really been missing his wife. He wanted to feel her again. Her lips on his, his hands on her back…they had a healthy sex life and the stroke had basically derailed it. He was lost in thought when Dr. Brady finally came in.

"Eddie, it has been a while…" he said reading her chart before looking. "Oh my Heavens. Look at this."

Gently he unwrapped her bandages and examined the engorged flesh. "Is this tender?"

Eddie winced in response. "It has been the last week or two since the swelling isn't going down and it's a little warm too, but I think it's the stocking."

"Doctor, I know this is from her overexerting herself with me, I know that. I have tried all I can think to try. I'm so concerned that she will get another bout of cellulitis, that she might lose her arm…"

"Jamie, we are not there at all," Dr. Brady assured him. "Honestly we aren't. But we are to a point where compression and elevation won't work alone either. The blockage is severe and I am concerned that we won't be able to clear it without surgery, however there are a few treatments to try before we get to that point."

The doctor went through the options, focusing mainly on something called complete decongestive therapy. "The treatment combines the elevation and compression you are doing now with manual lymph drainage…"

"Dr. Brady, I have tried and my son has tried to…" Jamie began.

"No, this is done by a specialist. A licensed therapist specifically schooled in lymphedema treatment. The massage you do at home is therapeutic and with the small blockages of the past quite effective but this time around, number one you don't have the manual dexterity from your stroke to perform the treatment and you don't have the training. You can continue to provide soft comfort massages, it won't hurt her," Dr. Brady replied before continuing. "I also want to add a pneumatic pump. I think that is will assist in reducing the swelling but those can hurt so that tender comfort massage might be a nice follow up to her doing that."

Eddie sighed, she heard about the pumps but never thought she'd have to do one. Jamie held her hand, "I'll do that then."

Dr. Brady admired this couple. They were so devoted to each other. The comfort massages would do nothing to help relieve the edema but he could see Jamie wanted to be involved that he would let him think it would.

"Okay, Jodi will get you a prescription for the therapy and the pumps. You can begin that in a day or two and we'll see where you are in a month. If the swelling gets worse or the skin begins to split or crack more than this I want to see you back sooner."

Eddie agreed. She and Jamie got the scripts from the nurse then headed home.

Across town, Lila and Erin were meeting for lunch. Lila felt awkward that she was going to have this talk with her aunt but after seeing her mother so upset she knew she didn't have a choice. Erin smiled when she saw Lila. "Hey sweetie, how are you?"

"Good, Dad mailed the check to the hall this morning," Lila replied smiling. "We are going with Above and Dad's mini lamb chops." Erin opened her mouth but Lila stopped her, "Aunt Erin, I had a long talk with my mom and I really want your opinion on the wedding stuff but…" Lila bit her lip. "This is really hard…Mom really wants you to not share your opinion at all when it comes to Dad and for Dad's own good, not to mention my Mom's. You know how he hates to see her get upset."

Erin sighed, "Lila, I cannot imagine what this is like for your poor mother. I can't imagine the physical pain she must be in fighting to take care of your father with her arm like that. I really want what's best for my little brother, and if that means backing off, I'll do that. "

"Thanks, but this thing with you and my mom has been going on for twenty-eight years…" Lila sighed.

"What thing? Lila, there is no problem between me and your mother, it's just a difference of opinion about Jamie's recovery process. Where did you get such an idea?"

"From my mom," Lila replied. "Aunt Erin, she heard everything. She heard everything you said to Dad the night before they got married. Every word. And my mom being my mom, held it in and held back for all these years. The last thing she ever wants is to hurt my dad, so she didn't bring it up until after the stroke. It hurt her really badly and then she said you pawned her off while she was sick on another attorney and my dad found out that she was setting up funds for Joey and me and went ballistic. I know you didn't mean to hurt her, but you did hurt her and she's my mom, Aunt Erin."

Erin sighed, "I did talk to you father that night. I like your mom a lot. We were never very close and I suppose this is why. I felt that your Grandpa Peter's background would be a hindrance to your dad's future. I felt that it could hurt his promotion chances even more than the Reagan name would, and I wanted him to be sure. You are the youngest, you don't understand that instinct, to protect. I was out of line and your dad put me right back in it. From then on I supported the marriage."

Erin sipped a cup of tea and they made their order before resuming their talk. "When your mother got sick, it gutted everyone in the family, especially your Dad. When she came to me about setting up monies for you kids, I couldn't bring myself to help her. She kept the illness from your father for weeks. I didn't want her to keep another secret from him about the money." Erin sighed, "Also…it hurt me too much to think of losing her. I care about your mom. We aren't friends…we should be…"

Erin looked down at her lap. "I'll stay out of your dad's care, I promise. If he wants to work hard, even at a risk, I will just sit back and keep quiet."

The talk turned to other things including Erin's upcoming trip to Boston to visit Nikki. Lila felt good about the talk. She had both sides now and could work on her ultimate goal, having her mother and her godmother see eye to eye for the first time and heal the hurt that her mom had carried all of her married life.

When she left lunch to go back to school that day, it was with a bounce in her step.

"What did the doctor say, Mom?" Joey asked as he helped set the table for the small dinner he shared with his folks and his grandpa on Wednesdays.

"I start massage tomorrow with a specialist in Manhattan and I have to do that pump machine over there. Dad made us get it today. He's napping, can you go and wake him for supper?" Eddie asked stirring a huge pot of chicken chili.

"Sure thing Mom," Joey replied heading into the bedroom. "Dad…" Joey reached down and shook Jamie. He found him soaked in perspiration and warm to the touch. "Hey…Dad…Dad, wake up!"

Jamie opened his eyes, "Joey, what are you yelling about?"

"You okay?" he asked. "You're soaked. Let's get you washed up huh?" Joey went to lift Jamie into the sitting position and smiled when he felt his dad helping. "Good, Dad…I can feel you pushing with both arms that's really good but you don't look so good."

"Joey…" Jamie sighed. "I uh…When Mom goes for her massage, I need you to take me to the doctor tomorrow. Something isn't right, and I can't upset her anymore. Dr. Brady said that she could have a blood clot or…we have to be careful and I am worried. This isn't my stroke, the fevers, there's something wrong."

Joey nodded, "What hurts?" he asked softly.

"I have a sore on my leg…where the diaper usually is but since I got better at changing it myself mom didn't see it and I think it's infected," Jamie confessed.

"Let me see it, Dad," Joey instructed in a whisper.

Reluctantly, Jamie moved to the side and let Joey see the open sore on the back of his thigh just below his buttocks. "Yeah, you do….and it is infected, Dad you have to tell mom." He touched Jamie's forehead, "You have a fever, you have to tell Mom now and go to the hospital."

"Dr. O'Donnell is expecting me at 11, if he thinks I need the hospital, I'll tell her. If not it's on the left, I can treat it myself. My right arm is works." Jamie looked at Joey with pleading eyes. "Please, Joe. For your mother's good."

Joey sighed, but before he could answer Eddie called, "It's not going to eat itself, let's go!"

"She is so not the patient one," Joey laughed. "Let's get you in your chair."

Five minutes later Jamie and Joey were seat at the table with Frank and Eddie. Eddie offered the prayer and smiled when Jamie's eyes lit up at the menu. "I love you chicken chili…" He was graduating a little. "You think in a few weeks, after my next study, you can make the goulash?"

Eddie smiled, "You get a solid study and I will make you buckets of it." She leaned over to give him a kiss. "You okay, you're flushed."

"I'm good, baby," Jamie assured her and looked around the table. "I am really good."


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing. When I see your comments, it makes me smile. I write for those who read just as much as I do for myself. Please continue to share your valued opinions.**

Chapter Twenty – Five

Joey laid in wait for Eddie to pull out of the driveway on her way for her treatment. As soon as he saw her leave, he headed inside. "You ready Dad?" he asked. Jamie was dressed and in his wheelchair.

"You bet, I thought, if you want to, we can grab some lunch. My treat for helping me out." Jamie was still so nervous around his son.

"Let's see if you aren't going in the hospital," Joey told him as he got Jamie to the car. He ran back inside to tell Frank they were leaving, "Grandpa, I'm taking Dad to look at new sneakers so Mom doesn't have to do it."

Frank nodded as he read his newspaper. He knew something more was going on with his son, but he chose to pick his battles.

Joey got Jamie to his appointment right on time the doctor called him back within five minutes. Jamie made this appointment with Dr. O'Donnell, his regular physician. The neurologist could do little for a bedsore.

"How are you feeling, Jamie?" Matthew O'Donnell asked him.

"Better, I'm getting stronger but…I have this sore on my left leg now and when I go to the bathroom, it burns and my stomach hurts," Jamie explained embarrassed to admit all of this in front of his son.

"Sounds like you have a pressure sore, I'll take a look. Do you think you can do a urine sample as well? You might have a UTI from holding in urine. It is very common with stroke patients."

It took a few minutes for the doctor to complete his exam and to get the dipstick back. "Just as I suspected, UTI and a pressure sore. It's not very bad actually, but you do have to keep it very clean."

He nodded, "I'll get it done," Jamie assured him.

"You'll need help, you can't keep it clean enough on your own. Also, I'd like you to not use the diapers for a few days until the infection clears up…why are you shaking your head?"

"Eddie's just been to the surgeon for lymphedema, I can't walk. I need help to get into my chair."

"Dad, I can start staying at the house," Joey offered.

"No, that will upset your Mom. She'll think that I am getting worse. We'll think of something. I'll have to talk to your mom. We'll work it out as a team."

Jamie left with his prescriptions and some sample creams for the ulcer. "Okay so where do you want to go? That diner by the drugstore? They have the best banana cream pie."

Jamie nodded, glad to be spending one on one time with his son.

Joey pulled up to the diner and got Jamie inside. The ordered soups, sandwiches, and the famous banana cream pie. "We'll tell Mom the truth when we get home. She will be angry but it was good we got you here to the doctor. You are sick, Dad. You have to get better."

Jamie nodded, "Your sister set a date. September so I have less than a year to get walking. I heard this song on the radio the other day, and I want to hold your mother in my arms and dance with her to it. That seems like a pipe dream. I'm sorry…" Jamie saw Joey wasn't paying attention. "So Mom's pregnant…"

That got Joey's attention, "What?"

Jamie laughed, "I got your attention, did I?"

"Sorry, Dad, I uh.." Joey turned his head again as the soup came and kept looking at the sidewalk pizza place across the street. Jamie turned to see what he was looking at.

Then he saw her, the pretty dark haired girl that Joey had to the house every so often, the girl his money had gone to help. "Your partner? She's dating?"

Joey shrugged, "I guess so, but she never said anything to me about it. Thought she told me everything."

"Joey, listen to me," Jamie began. "No one understand more than I do that when you ride with someone day in and day out for a while…anyone, male or female, you make a bond. You share things with each other that…you don't share with anyone else. One of my old Sergeants used to say "There are two people I trust in this world, my partner and my wife…and I'm not so sure about my wife." So when I met your mother and we found out that we were meant to be partners in many ways well…it was a gift."

"Dad…" Joey broke in. Jamie held up his hand.

"Hear me out, Joe," Jamie replied. "If you have feelings for your partner, you need to tell her. You need to tell her now before you risk ruining you friendship and your partnership. I don't want to see you get hurt Joey."

Joey nodded, "It really doesn't matter anyway if she's with a guy. And it's not like that. She's pretty, we are best friends…I guess that's what is bothering me. We are best friends and I don't know she has a boyfriend. Something is weird about that."

Jamie sighed, "You mom and I were best friends too. About six months into our partnership, she doesn't show up for work. I check with Renzulli and he says she banged in sick. She's alone in the city, so naturally I go to check on her, but she won't answer the door or my phone calls. Finally, I sneak in and when she opens the door, she is beaten, face black and blue, eyes blood shot, someone did a number on her. It took me three days to get her to admit it and another three to get her to agree to press charges. After that she really started to trust me. We made a strong bond, but dating, that was still a really touchy subject."

Jamie worked on his soup as he let Joey absorb what he said. When sandwiches came Joey turned his attention to his father. "When did you know, with Mom?" Joey asked. "That it was time to change it up. Get out of the RMP and into the happily ever after?"

Jamie sighed, "Your grandpa, Peter. He was attacked in his cell, got hurt pretty badly and your Mom understandably was upset. I'd been crashing at her place on and off for a few weeks before that, she had a shoot and struggled a lot with recovering from the trauma. Mom was not made to be a cop. Do not ever tell her I said that. She had the instincts and the guts but was far too idealistic and set herself up to get let down over and over again "

Jamie took a bite of his sandwich. "So the night he was attacked I stayed with her in case he took a turn. I was out on the couch, sound asleep, and I heard her crying. Your mom isn't a crier, she has to be under some intense strain to cry, so I get up and find her in the bathroom; she has the water running to muffle the sound. It about broke my heart seeing her like that and I knew that moment that I could not let it go on any longer. I had to take her in my arms and just love the pain away."

"So just like that?" Joey asked. "You two changed just like that?"

"Well, that night while she cried in my arms, I told her that no matter what I'd always be there for her. I have to keep that promise, Joey. I have never let her down that way since that night. I told her I loved her and I would always love her." Jamie sipped his coffee. "So if you feel that way about your partner, you need to tell her, you need to see if she feels that way too, then you see your Sergeant and ask for new partners. If she gives you a rough time of it, let me know. I can still pull a string or two from the house." Jamie winked at him.

Joey nodded, "I'm pretty sure she doesn't feel the same way but I'm going to confront her on this guy. I think as her best friend she should have told me. But thanks, Dad, for the advice. If you aren't going to eat that pie, pass it."

Jamie took a huge forkful of pie then pushed the plate to Joey. He was starting to feel tired, "Joe, we really need to go home soon. I'm going to need to use the bathroom."

"You think you'll be good until we get home, Dad?" Joey asked Jamie. "They have a handicap bathroom back there, I can take you so you don't have to worry about it on the drive home. You know the traffic this time of day."

Jamie turned red as a beet thinking that he'd have to rely on his son to take him to the toilet. It was bad enough having to rely on his wife to do that or to help him change a diaper before he got more dexterity and started doing it for himself. "If you just help me in there, I can do it myself." Joey pushed the chair and had an idea. "I'm going to put your chair right behind you. I can turn around and hold your left arm. We can do this no problem, nice and neat."

Jamie was impressed and Joey's idea worked. Soon they were in the car on their way home. "What are we going to tell Grandpa?" Joey asked. "I said we were getting you sneakers."

Jamie thought a minute as Joey turned onto their street, "I wouldn't worry about to tell Grandpa, Joe. Mom's home."

Both men decided that unless pressed they would wait and Jamie would explain to Eddie while Joey was to the pharmacy go get Jamie's prescriptions. Joey helped unload Jamie from the car, again happy to see Jamie helping him mostly through using his arm. As soon as they stepped inside, Eddie, who had been pacing the floor worrying where they got to, turned around. "I don't see a bag." She moved and looked at Jamie's feet. "And those are your old sneakers. Where have you two been?" She crossed her arms over her chest and held her husband's eyes.

"Eddie, don't get upset,' Jamie said keeping his voice gentle. He knew she was angry. "Joey took me to see Dr. O'Donnell then we had some lunch and talked. Everything is fine. Joey didn't want to worry Dad so he said we were going to shop for sneakers. And we were before I got tired and asked him to bring me home."

"Why did you go see the doctor, Jamie? What aren't you telling me?" She looked at Joey now. "And you, you ought to know better than to keep things from me about Dad's health. I have to know everything Joseph so I can make sure I am doing the best I can for him."

"Mom, this was kind of a private thing," Joey defended. "Dad, asked for my help. He's worrying about you and he knew if he mentioned he wasn't feeling well you'd skip your massage."

"That should have been my decision, Jamie, with you, yes but not yours alone!" Eddie snapped. "Now tell me what made you go behind my back like this. What made you decide to go to see Matt?"

Jamie looked down at his lap, "I have the right, Eddie, to choose to see my doctor on my own. I have the right to decide if I want to burden you with it. You say you need to know all things about my health so you can care for me, well I have the right to decide for myself if I think something can wait. I have the right and the duty as your husband to look out for your health too. That was what I did and Joey helped. This isn't on him, it's on me. As a matter of fact, Joe, go pick up those scripts and the toilet thing we talked about while I work this out with your mother. You did as I asked, there's no wrong in it."

Jamie knew how much Joey hated to disappoint his mother. If Jamie got upset with Joey he handled it better than when Eddie did. Joey was touched by his father's defense of him and he quickly headed out to get the medications and items Jamie would require.

"Jamie, I know you feel like less of a partner lately..." Eddie began.

"I'm sick of it, too, Eddie. I am so sick of being coddled and shielded from everything. I'm sick of you, Joey, Erin...making my decisions. You want to know why I went. I have a pressure sore on my leg. It hurts like hell and it's infected. The doctor gave me some creams to put on it and I can't sleep on my back. I also can't sit in my chair too often, I have to be on the sofa or in bed. I know that's going to make more work on you and I'm sorry."

Eddie felt awful, a pressure sore meant she hadn't helped him in some way.

"Now, don't go feeling guilty for this. The doctor said it is very common in stroke patients and apparently so are UTIs. I also have one of those, probably from the diapers. Joey is getting a bedside toilet. I can take a step or two now if you hold onto me and use that during the night. I should have agreed to it before but...my Irish pride."

Eddie had tears in her eyes, Jamie was sick. Not horribly so but sick just the same. "So you'll be okay? All in all he says you'll be okay?"

"Yeah, I'm going to be fine, sweetie. I am. I have to take some pills and rest my leg until the sore heals but you...You could lose your arm if the blockage gets much worse. I can't stand by, baby myself, and let that happen. Our marriage is in trouble Eddie, not because I don't' love you, not because of anything like that. I love you more than anything else in the world, but the dynamic is so out of bound...it's so parent child now I don't if we can survive. I really don't. I try to show you and you...tell me soon. When is that?"

"Jamie...there's no way...I want it too. I do act like your mother and I'm sorry...I will try to include you more and I will take better care of myself, but please do not say we are in trouble, I can't handle that."

Jamie knew he chose the wrong words but he had to make her see how it felt for him to be spoken around and not permitted to conduct his own life. "I can't either. Come here sweetheart. I'm sorry I said it like that, I really am." Eddie crossed the room and Jamie in spite of the pain from the sore and being tired pulled her with his surprisingly strong good arm onto his lap. "I love you...Let's please go back to being partners okay? Please." He kissed the side of her head.

Eddie met his eyes and nodded, "Partners. In sickness and in health, from now on, partners."


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: So glad everyone liked the last chapter and commented on it. I am not sure if everyone is going to like Jamie's decision in this chapter, but I do hope you like how it's written. Please enjoy this next installment.**

 **Also, please look for the next installment of Pillow Talk, to be posted following Blue Bloods episode tomorrow night. Also, I've been requested to fill in some of the blanks on Erin's chat with Jamie before his wedding. Look for A Sister's Love to be posted within the next few days.**

 **If anyone else is looking to see me expand on a certain area of Jamie and Eddie's courtship or marriage or the children's lives, please send me a PM or leave a review. I will do my best to accommodate your request.**

Chapter Twenty-Six

"Just five more minutes, Eddie," Jamie encouraged two weeks later. She had been doing her pumps religiously in spite of how much they hurt. The last three cycles had really been painful, so Jamie had taken to sitting next to Eddie and holding her hand while she did the machine.

"I know," Eddie replied. "Thanks honey."

Their relationship had changed after Jamie talked to her. She had tried very hard to include him in anything and everything, still the urge to protect him and help him overwhelmed her. He was recovering use of his arm able to use it to help move himself in and of his wheelchair and to give Eddie hugs, but his leg was still almost useless. He was able to force it a few inches but he was rapidly losing faith that he would ever walk again.

When the machine stopped, Eddie disconnected the sleeve and sighed. Jamie took her arm in his and started to gently rub the skin. "Still really tender?"

"Not as bad and the swelling is going down," Eddie smiled. "I think Dr. Brady will say there's progress when we go back in two weeks."

Jamie kissed her hand, "You know the day I can slide your ring back on your finger that will rank among the happiest days of my life. The day we met, the day we married, the day each of our children came, and the day you were pronounced clear…" Jamie kissed her hand again.

"You want some lunch?" Eddie asked. "I'm hungry. You have your swallow study tomorrow, remember our deal if you pass it."

"You bet a nice hearty helping of your goulash for Wednesday dinner. For now, yeah, I'd love some lunch. Roger is coming at 2 to try to do something with this useless leg." Jamie's shoulders slumped as he said this. He was very frustrated that he was not making progress with his leg.

Eddie rubbed his back, "You are doing so well. You worked hard on your arm and you have about half use. You are even able to push your chair yourself short distances. That is great. You are holding posture, you are doing so much!"

Jamie appreciate Eddie's encouragement but it did little to help him feel confident. Lila's wedding was less than eight months away. At this rate he'd have to be pushed down the aisle if he wanted to give his daughter away.

Eddie made chicken salad for lunch. "Dad, I made lunch if you want to come down," Eddie called. She soon heard Frank moving.

"Your chicken salad is excellent," Frank told her as they ate. Eddie pulled out a notebook containing Lila's guest list. "So, right now this list has 78 people from our side and 122 from Steven's. We know we have political invites so Lila wants you two to put your heads together and pick about 50 people. Jamie put a cap on the guest list at 250 so…"

Jamie took a bite of his lunch, "Yeah cause the place we picked is $175 a head for the menu we picked. Still, it's going to be beautiful. Eddie is really pulling out her best with this wedding and she admitted, Pop that Erin has had some great ideas on the florals."

Frank smiled at that. It hurt that his family was at odds with each other. "I'm glad you are finding a way to work together for Lila's sake." He sighed and took a deep breath.

"Pop?" Jamie looked at Frank. "You okay? Eddie…"

She stood up, "Frank you feeling tight? Let's step out for some air okay?" The weather had been changing lately. That was a sure fire signal Frank's COPD would become a bother. Eddie held the older man's arm and lead him to the porch. "Try to get air in if you can, I'm going to get your inhaler from the kitchen."

Eddie saw the look of defeat written on Jamie's face, Frank's last flare up was before his stroke. He usually tended to his father's needs if he was home, payback he said for nursing him through upper respiratory infections and ear tubes when he was a boy. Now he wasn't able to help, damn leg.

"He's okay, he's just a little tight, honey,' Eddie soothed. "You want me to take you out there?"

Jamie shook his head no and played with his sandwich as Eddie tended to Frank. "Is he okay?" Frank asked after taking two puffs of his rescue.

"He's fine, he's a little frustrated," Eddie replied. "Take you time and just breathe slowly. Don't worry about, Jamie. I know it's hard not to worry about your kids but…take it easy okay?"

Frank nodded, "It's just the weather. I got lucky, I didn't feel the effects until I was in my nineties."

Eddie agreed that was fortunate as she held Frank's hand. "Try to get another breath. Make this one a little deeper now."

For the next ten minutes, Frank concentrated on his breathing until the pressure eased and he felt air flowing in and out of his body again. Eddie smiled when she saw his posture ease. "You good?" she asked still rubbing his back in soothing circles. As she sat there, Roger's car pulled up and waved.

"Frank, just sit tight then I'll help you inside to rest in a minute, I want to talk to Roger for a minute," Eddie said hurrying off the porch to meet the younger man.

"Roger, I just want to give you a heads up," Eddie said quickly. "Jamie is really feeling frustrated with the lack of progress in his leg. He's really been down so…if he's giving you a hard time let me know."

Roger nodded, "I'm going to get him up and walking a little today. His arm is much more stable. Don't worry, Eddie. I know his goals."

Roger headed inside to begin his work with Jamie while Eddie helped Frank into the living room to rest in the recliner. "Just sit and rest, when you can breathe a little easier then I'll help you to your room. I'll bring you supper on a tray."

Frank held Eddie's hand, "You are such a good girl. When Jamie decided to ask you to marry him, I knew…I knew that it was a good decision. He loves you so."

Eddie smiled, "I know he does. And I love him too. Get a little rest okay?"

Frank nodded and let his eyes drop closed. Lately, when he slept he dreamt a lot of his Mary. If she was alive today, she would be so proud of the family. Her heart would hurt for their youngest fighting to get back to himself, but she'd be so proud at his ability to do it.

Eddie sat down to work on some more of the wedding details, Lila had asked for her and Jamie to give their input on a song list for the DJ. She wanted everyone's style and taste represented. As she worked she kept her ears tuned to Jamie and Frank to make sure both of the men in her care were as well as the possibly could be.

"Come on, Jamie, focus," Roger encouraged. "That arm is at half strength, you can use it to support your weight on the walker."

Jamie got himself up, that wasn't the problem, the problem was taking steps. "Okay, now what."

"Think about lifting your bad leg. Concentrate and try to pick our leg up from the hip then plant it down."

Jamie kept his mind on his leg but no matter what he did, the leg wouldn't move more than an inch. "I can't," he said defeated. "No more…I can't do it."

"You can do it," Roger encouraged. "You told me you want to walk your daughter down the aisle, you have to do this first. It's the first step, no pun intended. Try again."

Jamie tried for over half an hour, Eddie could hear him groaning and grunting in the kitchen, their make shift gym on therapy days. Her heart broke hearing him strain so hard but she had to stay put and let him do this on his own. Roger knew what he was doing.

"There you go, Jamie," Roger encouraged as he saw Jamie's leg finally starting to move upward. "That's it…"

As Jamie went to lower his leg to the floor, he lost his balance. He felt his bad leg slip out from under him and lacked the speed and dexterity to catch himself before falling to the floor. Eddie heard the clatter of Jamie's walker and his cry at the same time. She couldn't just sit and wait now, even as much as she wanted to. She got up and hurried to the kitchen pushing the door open. "What happened?"

Roger was kneeling by Jamie who was valiantly trying to hide the tears in his eyes. "He had a little fall. Come on, let's try again."

Jamie looked up at Eddie, then over at Roger before staring at the floor. "No more…I can't do it. I can't."

Eddie knelt at Jamie's side, "Honey…are you hurting anywhere?" She put a gentle hand on his arm but he shoved it off. "No, I'm fine I just can't do it. I can't walk, I can't even move more than a little after all this time! I can't do it! I cannot do it!"

Roger and Eddie both knew it would be a fool's errand to try to reason with him in this state of mind. "Let's take a break, we'll get you up and into you chair."

Roger more or less placed Jamie in his wheelchair and offered him a few words of encouragement, "You have made way more progress than I ever expected. I believe you will walk again if you keep trying. I'll check in on you in a few days."

Eddie smiled and walked Roger to the door.

Eddie avoided the topic all night until bedtime. She watched Jamie self-transfer using both arms and his good leg. When he was situated she tucked the pillows under his left leg then sat on the bed, meeting his eyes. 'Jamie, I've said from the first day that as a long as you knew I loved you and understood the words when I said them, I was fine with the outcome of this. That's still true. Still, I hate to see you giving up. It's not in you…you aren't a quitter. You never were."

"I can't do it, Eddie," Jamie sighed. 'My entire body is a mass of bruises from smashing into things, from falling down. I ache so much from the work outs, you know the spasms keep us both awake. I can't do it, I am not going to walk again and as soon as we all realize it, the better off we'll be."

Eddie sighed, "Jamie, I just…"

He turned his head, "You know, Eddie. I have been thinking maybe you should sleep up in the old room. Joey can put a cot up there and…"

"No," Eddie said firmly. "No you don't. You can give up trying to walk if that is what you want to do, but you cannot shut me out Jamison Reagan. I won't let you!"

Eddie was close to tears, she brought her hand up to cover her mouth. "It's not fair to me you know, for you to do that. I worked just as hard as you did to get you where you are now, from lying nearly helpless in the hospital to getting in and out of bed on your own, to eating an almost regular diet, to sitting up now for hours without the help of pillows…If you want to say stop, say it, but don't you dare put a wall between us."

Eddie got up and headed to the bathroom. Jamie heard her do her evening routine. She returned to the bedroom in her night gown. Jamie even in this depressed mood couldn't get over how beautiful she was. He knew he hurt her feelings in his earlier depression. He wanted her by his side, he needed her there safe and warm. "Eddie, I'm sorry. You're right. We did this together, I couldn't have come this far without you, but…I am so tired. I can't do this anymore. I can't. Please forgive me."

He had tears in his eyes. Eddie cupped Jamie's cheek and kissed each ones as they began to fall. "There's nothing to forgive. You tried really hard and you're tired. I love you so much, I will take you in a wheelchair, I'll take you in bed…as long as we can say that to each other everything is okay. I promise you it is."

Jamie pulled Eddie in for a long warm kiss. When she said those words, he almost believed it. "No wall, Jamie," Eddie whispered placing tiny kisses along his jaw. "No walls, all right? We can make it no matter what, as long as we are together."

"No walls," Jamie echoed. "I won't say that again, I promise. I just…"

"I know, I know, and it's okay. Don't worry about it anymore tonight. Close your eyes and get some rest. You have a big day tomorrow."

Eddie kissed Jamie firmly once more before snuggling down next to him. Tomorrow was another day, if he had a good study, and got his mood up, then she could reason with him, but for now, she'd keep her promise to support him and his decision even if that meant letting him say stop.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: A shorter chapter this time around before the action picks up again. For those of you that like Annie and Joey, more of them coming up but maybe not how you'd think. Also, we'll see another side to Joey in this and upcoming chapters.**

 **I published a partner story to delve deeper into Eddie and Erin's rift, A Sister's Love. This story will have one more chapter added by the weekend. Hope you continue to enjoy this story and this universe.**

Chapter Twenty-Seven

"Hey, Reagan!" Annie called across the precinct. Joey had been standoffish the last week since he'd come back from taking a week off to help his Eddie at home while she rested her arm. They rode together but he had turned her down for beers every time she offered. "Reagan! Wait up!"

Joey stopped and turned around to see his partner, in her street clothes, jogging to catch him. "We need to talk, Reagan," she said firmly. "You've been avoiding me for two weeks and hardly talking on tour. Did I do something wrong?"

The tension had been palpable the last couple of weeks. Annie kept trying to pin Joey down but he kept excusing it saying he had to help his mom or his uncle needed a ride. Today, Annie wasn't taking no for an answer.

Joey stopped and turned to his partner, "I thought we were friends, Anne," he said suddenly. "I thought we were best friends."

"We are," Annie replied quickly. "Of course we are. Why would you even say a thing like that?"

"I saw you, Annie," Joey sighed. "You held out on me. We promised to always tell each other if we decided to date. After what happened to me with my last three girlfriends, we're supposed to vet each other's dates. Joey reminded her.

"Who are you even talking about, Joey," Annie said a little confused. "I'm not seeing anyone, Joe."

Joey quickly described the man he saw with Annie having lunch with Jamie at the diner, "Male white, dark hair about 5'11" tall, 20 lbs. over weight. I saw you with him two weeks ago when I took my dad to lunch at Archie's!"

"Oh, him. He's nobody," Annie defended. "I met him on POF and met him for lunch. He's kind of hands on and gross so I deleted my profile and that was it. Why didn't you say something to me about it before? You sat on this for two weeks and acted like jerk? For what?"

Joey shrugged, "I guess I was upset that you didn't mention you were seeing someone. I acted like an ass, and I'm sorry. It's getting to me, Anne. All this stuff it's just getting to me. What do you say to some beers? Or if you need to go home then we can do that too and just talk. I'm sorry I…"

"That you were jealous?" Annie asked. "It's okay Reagan, really. When you were seeing Carolyn last year I was jealous too. Your folks got married they were so in sync as partners. We're supposed to be best friends, we trust each other with our lives, so it's natural to be jealous."

Joey laughed, "My old man thought I was jealous too. So what do you want to do? Get some beers or go back to your place for Chinese?"

"Beers, I have another two hours with the sitter. Let's go to that German bar for those black beers you mom had at you birthday last year, those were out of this world."

Joey laughed and slid his arm around Annie leading her towards his car and drove to the bar.

They each had two beers and large German style pretzels. They sat laughing over some of their crazier collars when Joey's phone rang. "I have to get that, it's my Mom," Joey told Annie quickly. "Hey, Mom."

"Joey, I am sorry if this is a bad time, I can hear the music," Eddie said her voice very happy and light. "But I had to tell you the great news, Dad passed his study. The doctor said he has regained 85% of the usage of his throat muscles. They aren't sure he'll get any better than that but it is still really encouraging news! Dad is over the moon."

"Wow, Mom that is fabulous news. So it's goulash at dinner tomorrow yeah?" Joey asked. "Can you make that cream you can put on top?"

Eddie laughed, "Of course I can. I'm going to get some cinnamon bread too for dessert. Go back and have fun, I just wanted to share. Dad sends his love."

"Me too," Joey said and hung up. He was smiling when he returned to his stool. "My Dad passed his test today, the doctor is really pleased with his progress. They said he's 85% in control of his swallowing now, up from 40%. He's come such a long way."

Annie could tell how proud Joey was. She remembered the day Jamie had his stroke. Joey had spent hours at the hospital with his family, then showed up at her place.

 _Annie hurried to answer the door, whoever was knocking incessantly was going to wake her kids. She worked her butt off getting them to bed. She leaned up on tiptoes and saw Joey in the peephole. "Joey?" she hurried to undo the locks and let her partner in. "Joey, what happened?"_

 _She had seen her partner angry, joking around, even humiliated, but she never remembered him looking like this. Annie tugged Joey's arm and pulled him inside. She pushed him down on the sofa, he appeared to be in shock. "Joey, please talk to me."_

" _Uh, I just came from St. Vic's," Joey began. "Can I get a cup of coffee? I'm uh…I need a cup of coffee, no a whiskey, I need a whiskey."_

 _Annie hurried to get it for him then sat down again, "You were at St. Vic's. Is it your Mom?" Annie knew it wasn't a fellow officer, if it was it would be on the wire already._

 _Joey shook his head, "They are keeping it quiet right now. The DCPI is…on Mom's say so. My Dad…You can't tell anyone, Annie, you can't."_

" _I won't," Annie replied quickly. She took the glass from Joey's hand and held his hands in her own. "Talk to me. Come on…It's okay."_

" _He had a stroke," Joey whispered, his voice catching at the memories of her father lying unconscious in the hospital bed, IVs hooked up to him, his body swelling from medications and trauma. He didn't know if he'd ever see his father's eyes again. He didn't know if he'd get to say he was sorry. "And it's my fault."_

" _Oh, Joe," Annie sighed and moved to put her arms around Joey. "Hey, it's not your fault, okay? You got angry at him, you went off halfcocked, sure, but your Dad has been under the gun his entire career, more so lately. It's not your fault, all right?"_

" _He's just lying there, Ann," Joey sniffled. "He's just lying there. Mom is holding onto his hand but he has no idea he's even there. We have no idea if he will even make it, they said the first three days are really crucial. If he wakes up…we have no idea what is going to be left. God, Ann, how am I going to get my Mom through this. She and my Dad, they are everything to each other. She is so tired, this can bring her cancer back…" Joey let a few tears fall in the safety of Annie's company. He couldn't let his Mom see him cry._

" _Joey, let's just take the three days okay?" Annie said gently. "Let's take the three days and see how he does. In the meantime, you feel regret now, make him proud. Do what your Dad would want. Step up and take care of your family."_

"Your Dad will be back at 1PP in no time," Annie said smiling. "And I know you being around that week and giving your Mom a break helped them both a lot." She drained her beer. "I better go, traffic…See you in the morning, Reagan."

"Catch you, partner," Joey laughed as he paid their tab and headed home to get some rest before his tour and his mother's beef goulash.

Eddie crawled into bed besides Jamie later that night and laid her head on his chest. "Did you tell Joey?" he asked softly for the fourth time. He hoped that Joey would have called to congratulate him but he knew better than to hope.

"I did, and he is so proud of you, Jamie. I'm proud of you too. You worked really hard, you came leaps and bounds from where you were, and I was thinking more about what you decided yesterday. I'm for that. You are tiring yourself out and…" She traced some of the bruises on his bare chest. "Causing yourself so much pain. I'm behind you, and if you want me to be, I'll be there when you break the news on Sunday."

Jamie sighed, "They'll give me a hard time, I know that. Still, what really matters is that we have each other's back, partner." Jamie turned his head and gave Eddie a long gentle kiss.

"Till death do us part," she whispered returning his affectionate gesture. "Let's get some rest, I have to get up early to start your celebration dinner."

Jamie laughed, "You better get a lot of sleep. I have a long list of meals I want to revist…turkey pot pie, stuffed mushrooms…"

Jamie stifled a laugh as Eddie used a free pillow and gave him a smack. Things were slowly but surely righting themselves, all she needed now was to reignite the fire in their marriage and heal the rift that still existed between Jamie and their son.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: For those of you waiting for Joey and Jamie resolutions, this chapter is the beginning of their healing and by extension Eddie's as well. I continue to cherish all of your reviews and comments, I do try to reply to each one. Looking forward to your thoughts as we continue this tale.**

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Eddie pushed Jamie's chair to the table the next evening. He was beaming with joy at being able to eat normal food again. Wednesday night dinner was their family tradition, that small branch of the Reagan family. That particular Wednesday, Lila was stuck at school working on a group project and Joey had just called to say he'd be delayed, but he'd made a felony collar. "Hungarian goulash, as promised," Eddie said smiling. "I even made extra gravy just the way you like it and cream for Joey. Dad, you ready to eat?"

"We haven't had your goulash in a few months, you bet I'm ready," Frank replied taking his seat next to Jamie. Jamie dutifully made his own plate and used his right hand to break the cubes of meat with a fork. He made a little mess on the placemat. "That I can help you with Jamie," Eddie told him.

Jamie sighed and started to eat. "Oh Eddie..." He sighed as the flavors erupted in his mouth. "This is so good. Where's Joey?"

"He made a collar," Eddie replied. "A-1 felony so he'll be a little later tonight. I'm going to keep a plate hot for him. It was an attempted kidnapping so he has a lot of paperwork. He chased the guy down himself, tackled him, and rescued the kid he was trying to abduct. I'm so proud of him."

Jamie smiled, "Me too, I'll tell him when I see him."

"Hearing that is always a thrill for kids," Frank said. "Even when they are your age and I am so proud of you Jamie for all you've been doing."

"Trying Dad," Jamie sighed. "I got my leg halfway into the brace by myself today," Jamie bragged with a smile. "That's something to be proud of there."

"It is son, you are working so hard to get yourself well and making great progress too," Frank smiled at him and took a bite of his meal. Jamie and Eddie still didn't tell anyone but their children about Jamie's choice

The conversation turned to other things, mainly Lila and Eddie's shopping trip earlier that day. "She is stuck on those mermaid dresses where you have to walk down the steps sideways..."

Jamie found that incredibly funny and lost his focus on his chewing. He tried to swallow a piece of meat that was too big for his compromised throat muscles even with the vast improvement he made. Jamie felt the beef stick but couldn't tell Eddie or Frank. Terrified and thinking quickly, Jamie slammed his hand on the table to get them to look up then brought his good arm to his throat.

"Jamie?" Eddie got up and went to his side. "Jamie, are you choking?" Eddie always asked this when Jamie coughed on his food, but this time was different. He wasn't making any noise and looked frightened. "Dad, he's choking..."

Frank got up and went around to Jamie, "Jamie, drop your hand, son. Drop your hand..." Frank got his arm around Jamie's front and pushed, his son was rapidly losing color. "Eddie, call for a bus!"

Frank tried hard to get to food dislodged from Jamie's throat but was unsuccessful. Jamie was rapidly losing valuable oxygen. "Try to cough it out Jamie. Try to cough it out." Frank prayed and tried to get Jamie to breathe while Eddie called 911.

Joe was less than ten minutes from the house when he heard the call on his scanner, FDNY rescue had been dispatched to his house. He hit the gas and sped up clocking near 90 mph trying to reach his family.

Two police cars had just arrived as Joey pulled into the driveway. At full speed he ran inside focusing only on what was happening in the house. "Dad! Mom!" Joey saw his father's eyes starting to roll back in his head as his mother was trying to force him to cough up the lodged food. "Mom, move!" Joey ordered and laid Jamie on the ground. Using a different technique he pushed up hard on his father's chest dislodging the piece of beef in two thrusts.

Joey rolled Jamie on his side, "Mom get some pillows so we can prop him," Joey told Eddie as two teams of police officers and the EMT crew arrived on scene. "Commissioner," the officers greeted Jamie and Frank. Jamie was still battling for air and soon found an oxygen mask on his face.

"Looks like some of my mom's goulash didn't quite make it down,' Joey told them. "He seems to be all right now, guys. Thanks for coming."

Joey didn't want his father's dignity ruined any more than it had to be. He still needed to command these men one day and to have him on the floor, with food all down his shirt, helpless was not a good way to do that. Quickly he ushered them out of the house, "You okay now, Dad? Talk to me?"

Jamie was exhausted but managed to rasp, "Thank you."

"How about we call Sean to come check you. I know he's off today, we grabbed a hot dog or do you want to go to the hospital?" Joey asked trying to take charge and make this as painless as possible.

Jamie chose to decline transport to the hospital in favor of Sean coming over to examine him. Sean only took twenty minutes to make it over to his aunt and uncle's house. "His lungs sound clear, Aunt Eddie," Sean assured her as she hovered over Jamie. "Have Uncle Jamie rest in bed the rest of tonight and part of tomorrow just to rest those muscles and go back to the softer foods for a few days. Call me if he gets a fever or has trouble breathing."

Eddie smiled at Sean, "If Joey didn't get here when he did. He was turning blue and he could..." Eddie was shaking now that the crisis had passed.

"He's okay, Aunt Eddie. He's worn now and tired. After you get him settled I want you to have a cup of tea and relax, you too Grandpa." Sean was concerned for his grandpa, he was white and just staring where Jamie lay on his side on the floor. "Grandpa," Sean said gently. "Let's go upstairs and get you relaxing. Uncle Jamie is okay now."

"I tried, Sean," Frank sighed. "There was a day I could do anything for my children."

"You did, you kept your head, Aunt Eddie was so scared she didn't think to call for help right away. He's fine now and he's going to rest just like you need to do. Come on."

Once Sean got Frank into bed, he let himself out. He knew that this branch of the family was more private and needed time alone together to get over what they had seen.

Jamie smiled at Joey as he tried to sit himself up. His chest hurt and his core felt weak. "Heard you had a felony." Jamie wanted to focus on anything but the humiliating situation that had just transpired.

Joey didn't like the weak sound of his father's voice or the look of pain on his face. Joey could see Jamie's bad leg shaking, a sure sign of a spasm. "You sound really tired, let's just get you to bed," Joey said. With tender care, Joey carried Jamie to the bedroom and helped him get set up in the bed with Eddie hovering at his side. "Just lie back and rest."

Eddie removed Jamie's shoes and brace and propped him with pillows as Joey worked on massaging the tight muscles in his father's bad leg. He could see the balls of tight muscle under the skin. "Get some rest," Joey told Jamie once Eddie had him settled. Jamie was asleep before he finished the sentence.

Joey held Eddie's arm and led her out to the kitchen. Eddie was still shaking when she and Joey stepped into the kitchen. "It's going to be all right, Mom," Joey assured Eddie as he set her up with a cup of tea.

"I didn't think, you know. I didn't think...He was better, you know. He was doing so much better..."Eddie looked at her son with wide eyes. "They said he was at 85%."

Joey hugged Eddie close. "He is doing so much better, Mom. He really is. A few months ago he couldn't sit up in a seat for more than an hour at a time. He had to be propped up in bed to keep from falling over...he's doing so much better." Joe kept Eddie in his arms and rocked. "You didn't do anything wrong, okay? How about you go upstairs, take a hot bath, relax your body...Your arm is swelling up, go ice that down and rest. I will make sure Dad's comfortable."

Eddie was reluctant but headed upstairs knowing after what Joey had just done for his father, she knew he would take care of Jamie while she had a soak in the bath.

Joey cleaned up the mess from dinner and loaded the dishwasher. Frank had fallen asleep, it had shaken the old man to his core to see his son like that, it was worse on him than when Jamie had the stroke itself.

After the kitchen was as spotless as Eddie liked it, Joey thought about what happened. His father might have died. He'd had too many close calls lately losing parents. He still felt shocked and shaken that it had come to that.

Like Jamie was prone to doing, Joey was compelled to look in on his father. Carefully he opened the door and stepped inside the study. It was still the study, it was hard to think of that room as his father's bedroom but it had been since the stroke.

He stepped closer to the bed. Jamie was sleeping, the effects of his ordeal still visible when he slept. He never remembered his father snoring, now he did from the way the air would go over his vocal cords. Joey softly reached out and touched his father's cheek, then carefully secure the blankets around him. They had slipped off and Jamie would be unable to right them himself since he'd been so shaken up earlier that night. "I love you Dad," Joey whispered.

Just as Joey was about to place a kiss on Jamie's head, he saw his father's eyes flutter open. "I love you...son..." Jamie reached up with his good hand. "So sorry I...was not the father you needed...I tried to..."

"I know Dad," Joey whispered. "I know you did. It was really hard with Mom sick and you flying through the ranks after not moving for so long."

"But I failed...I failed you Joe...I'm sorry." Jamie's speech was dragging and slurred from fatigue.

"Dad, I just..." Joey sighed. "Why didn't you let me hug you?"

"What?" Jamie tried to push up in bed but failed and flopped to the side. "Joe, can you...my arm is very sore right now."

Joey shifted Jamie up and put a pillow under his arm praying the short loss of oxygen didn't set Jamie back. "When I was little and Mom was sick...you were sitting by her bed and you were crying. It broke my heart, and I was only seven years old. I just wanted to make you feel better, but you yelled at me and sent me to bed."

Jamie thought back to that awful time, Eddie was so sick, having just recovered from pneumonia induced by the flu. The doctor had continued her treatment. That night his strong and capable wife was too weak to lift her head off the pillow. It cracked his hard exterior.

"It was so hard then, Joey. I was so lost, your mother, I can say it now you're grown up. The second night in the hospital, we called the priest and grandpa sat with me and we counted every breath. You kids were so young, I didn't want you to have that fear in your hearts. When you came in that night, all I thought of was, my little boy is going to see her struggling...she was home but still in such a bad way. I didn't want you to see your Mommy that way or have fear because of me."

Jamie looked down, "Lila was a baby still, but you processed it all. I didn't give you what you needed then, you needed me. You needed to be a kid, not the big boy all the time. I'm so sorry."

"So you did love me?" Joe clarified. "It wasn't because..."

"Never. I loved you then, Joey and I love you now. When I get back to my desk I'm going to set a few things right. I can't save the salaries but I can see to it you get what you deserve. I suffered for Grandpa's odd sense of fairness, he was the fairest unfair man I ever met, no more of that for us Joe."

Joey smiled at Jamie and the two men talked a short time more about the job before Jamie asked, "Where's Mom?"

"Oh, I sent her up to the bath for a bit, she took this really hard and her arm was all swelled up again. I figured that you'd want her to rest and you were sleeping so...You want I'll get her."

"No," Jamie said quickly. "No, bother her. This is not fair to her. Joe, I'm not going to get much better, we all know that and as tough as Mom is," Jamie sighed. "You know we decided to stop the PT on my leg but that means more work for Mom. I need you to help me convince her, and help me find a good facility where I can go. I'm too heavy and too much of a burden.

"No, Dad," Joey said firmly. "Don't talk like that, you're so much better than you were and you can get better still. I know you can."

"Joey, son..." Jamie sighed. "I am tired. I'm so tired...The PT is for nothing. I work so hard...and nothing. I'm not going to walk by Lila's wedding. I'm not going to walk period. Your mother is hurting herself, you know how many years it's been since she had so much lymphedema in her arm? Seven years and now it's four times in ten days. Dr. Brady has even mentioned surgery. I'm too much on her, I'm too much on grandpa and it's not fair. She is getting better, but she's still not where she should be. It is too much!"

Joey sighed and straightened his body, "Well you aren't too much on me and your pity party isn't sending my mother to her grave either of a broken heart. If the damn therapists can't fix you then we'll do it NYPD style. Tomorrow morning, as soon as Mom takes Grandpa for his daily stroll we'll hit it hard. You'll dance with Mom at that wedding...my word."

The set of Joey's jaw made Jamie smile a little, he had a lot of his mom in him, that was true, but that was a Reagan stance pure and simple, in that second, Jamie had no doubt he'd do just what Joey had declared. Or else...


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: I was thrilled with the response to the last chapter. Hopefully you will all enjoy this one as much as the previous. Thanks for the wonderful comments!**

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Joey stayed the night under the guise of making sure Jamie was okay in the morning. Eddie insisted Jamie be allowed to sleep until he woke on his own after the events of the previous night. After breakfast, Eddie took Frank for his daily walk. He liked to take a half hour stroll every day to keep his breathing strong and his body moving. Joey couldn't help but think that soon Frank and Jamie could take those walks together.

"Dad!" Joey said shaking his father awake. "Dad, rise and shine." Joey was dressed in a pair of NYPD sweats and an NYPD tee shirt.

Jamie stirred and groaned opening his eyes. "Hey, you slept over?"

Joey nodded, "Yeah, I was eager to get started on our sessions. That and I wanted to make sure you were okay. Mom and Grandpa were really shaken up. She'll have my hide for waking you but they'll only be gone a little while. How about we start with going to the bathroom. It's ten steps."

"Joey, I can barely walk two steps, ten steps, it might as well be a 100."

"No, but the aisle at St. Catherine's is 48 steps so we better get moving." Joey was all exuberance and excitement. Jamie had to smile at that. "Okay, I'll need my walker."

Joey got the steel contraption and put it at Jamie's bedside. He got up by pushing with his arms and manually moving his left leg until it hung over the side of the bed. Joey secured the brace to his foot and calf, then instructed, "Now put both feet on the floor and push down with your legs and pull up with your hands."

Joey had no formal experience as a trainer not to mention none as a physical therapist, but he was experienced at being a Reagan and an officer with the NYPD. That was the kind of push Jamie needed now, he was certain of it. "Come on Dad, you are going to make the toilet or pee on the floor and upset Mom. You can do this!"

Jamie gritted his teeth thinking of his beautiful wife's face, thinking how beautiful she would look if he stood and held her in his arms again. He pulled with both arms and pushed with both legs. The left barely cooperated, so he, as Roger had previously directed, shifted his weight to the right.

"You can do it, Dad," Joey encouraged again. "You are doing it. Just a little more."

Jamie pulled himself to his feet locking his right leg until he felt his much weaker left one slightly engage. Jamie remembered Roger's lessons, move the walker, the weak leg, then the strong one…He lifted the walker up and placed it less than arm's length away, then focused on his bad leg. He tried to lift it up but it refused. "Just push it, Dad. Get it moving, push that foot forward."

Jamie took Joey's advice on this too and used his hip and back to force his uncooperative leg forward. He gasped in surprise and delight when it did move. Jamie's 1000 watt smile was in full force when he pulled his right leg up beside his left, take one full if not sloppy step.

"One down, nine more to go!" Joey praised.

Ten minutes later Jamie reached the bathroom. He was beaming ear to ear. This was going to work, it really had potential anyway to work. With Joey watching for safety reasons, Jamie used the bathroom and got himself washed for the day. Slowly, but surely he walked back to the bed, then nearly collapsed in exhaustion.

"Done?" Joey asked. "We just got going. We didn't even…"

Joey looked at Jamie. Jamie's chest was heaving and his eyes were closing in fatigue. "Let's get you into clothes and resting before Mom catches us. We can tell her I'm helping you…"

Jamie raised his hand quickly, a gesture he used often to halt Joey speaking, "No. No, we must make is a surprise. If I fail at this, I don't want her hope to be crushed. I'm so tired now and we barely did a thing."

Joey nodded, "Well, we proved you can do it. You can walk at least a little. Stamina, I think that's the ticket. Let me rub your leg down…"

Joey got a tub of Blue Emu cream and began a strong, vigorous massage on Jamie's left leg. The muscles were already protesting their use. "I've got you, Dad," Joey soothed. "I know it's starting to hurt, but I've got you."

Eddie and Frank returned about ten minutes later. Frank went to go read his newspapers, and Eddie decided to go and wake Jamie. It was almost ten and he had to eat and take his medicine. She pushed the door open and found Joey leaning over Jamie rubbing his leg. "Hang in there, Dad," Joey said softly. "This one does not want to give, I'm so sorry."

"What's going on?" Eddie asked softly going to the bed. "Jamie…" He was sweating and his face contorted in pain. "Jamie…you are supposed to be resting, what were you doing?"

"I tried to get out of bed to go to the bathroom, Joey helped me but my leg…" He reached for Eddie's hand. She held onto him as Joey used strong hands to work on the cramp. "I got it now, I found the knot. I got it." As Joey made his proclamation, Jamie's body started to relax. Eddie offered him some water.

"Thanks Joe," she said smiling. "Sometimes I can't work the spasms out, my hands aren't strong enough."

"No problem, Mom," Joey replied. "How about I fix some eggs and stuff for Dad and you two have a little time? Dad, hard boiled eggs, rye toast and jelly?"

Jamie nodded and leaned back into the pillows. "Bad?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah, just a couple side steps and my leg seized up," Jamie lied. "I'm glad Joey was here." He reached up and rubbed his neck. "Throat hurts."

"Yeah, it will for a day or two," Eddie soothed. "You are going to stay in bed today and rest, just like Sean said. We didn't get to talk yesterday, after…you were so tired but…You scared the Hell out of me, Jamie. I thought you were going to die right in front of me."

Jamie tightened his hold on Eddie, "I thought so too, and I don't want to waste one more moment, baby. Not one more moment."

Jamie turned his head and captured Eddie's lips in a strong kiss. He pulled her close to him and snuggled her. "When I get well, Eddie and finally make it back to work, I'm going to step down. We have wasted too much time, there are so many things that we have to do when I'm well, even if it is from a wheelchair."

Eddie reached up and cupped Jamie's cheek, "I'd like that. Remember after I got sick, and we took that trip to the Plaza Hotel, let's do that again, but this time let's go to London or Paris, let's really see the world, all the cities…"

"I'd like that," Jamie replied kissing her again as Joey entered with his breakfast.

"You two are gross," he laughed carrying the tray to his father with a cup of tea for his mother.

"You just wait," Jamie laughed, looking down at Eddie with a look of total adoration in his eyes. "One day you will feel this way, if you're lucky." He dropped a kiss on Eddie's nose then started to eat.

Jamie dozed off again after breakfast, so Eddie and Joey quietly exited the bedroom. "Mom, I want to run something by you."

Eddie nodded, sitting down. No matter what else was happening she always had time for her kids, something she had not been afforded as a child. Joey sat across from her, "I'm thinking of moving back home for a bit," Joey said. "You need help taking care of Dad, after what happened last night. Dad nearly died, Mom. He nearly died twice in the last six months and I screwed up. I've been a jerk, I've been selfish, and I've been everything that you and Dad raised me not to be. I'm ashamed of myself."

Eddie reached out and touched Joey's hand. "Joe, you got angry and like me you let it fester. The last few weeks especially you have been such a huge help with your father. He is so touched you are here for me and for him. I think you two are headed for reconciliation. You inherited the best of us Joey, but the worse of us too, his temper and my ability to hold a grudge."

"I hurt him Mom, and I hurt you. I never meant for it to go on so long," Joey sighed. "But this thing with me and Dad, it's gone on seventeen years, since you got sick. I really thought he didn't love me, that I was a nuisance to him."

"Oh, Joey, no never!" Eddie gasped. "No, sweetheart, you were our pride and joy, Joe. We gave you Uncle Joe's name. Dad insisted on giving his baby boy that name, a name that means so much to him."

Joey sighed, "I know that now. So, is it okay if I live at home for a bit? To help out and get my head on about a couple things too?"

Eddie smiled and gently caressed his cheek, "Joey, you can be here at home whenever you want and however you want. Your room is still there, it's just like you left it."

Joey smiled, "Thanks Mom. I was thinking the nights I'm not on tour, I can help Dad get ready for bed and we can talk. It will give you a chance to rest your arm too." Joey looked critically at his mother's left arm. "It looks better though, that's good."

Eddie smiled, "Speaking of, I have to go do my pumps. Listen for your dad."

Joey did just that, relieved he'd have more access to his father to carry out his plan. Little did he know, getting around his mother would be the least of his worries.


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: Well, Erin and Eddie will finally see some resolution in this chapter. I hope that said resolution is to your liking. Thank you all who have been reading and commenting on each chapter. I look forward to your opinions about this one.**

Chapter Thirty

Erin, Eddie and Lila walked into the bridal salon for their 10 am appointment. The two older woman had yet to make piece, in fact the Sunday dinner that had just passed served to make things even more intense. Still, that night, Jamie had made some requests of her that she could not deny him.

When Jamie made his announcement about discontinuing his physical therapy, at least as it pertained to walking again, Erin had what Eddie felt was a smug look on her face. "It's not like she won something," Eddie complained later. "You are tired and you feel like you did your best and you did." Eddie rubbed the moisturizing cream into her legs. "If and when you want to try again, I'm behind you, Jamie. I don't…"

"Ssh," Jamie soothed and grabbed her wrist. "Honey, let it go. I need to let go of the notion that I am going to walk again and you, for me, need to let this thing with Erin go. I know she hurt you and I know her Reagan traits make her appear smug and snobbish sometimes, but she's my sister and you are my wife. I need this to be finished. I will always have your back and when the chips are down I'm on your side, believe that."

"I do," Eddie sighed. "I won't argue with her anymore, I didn't argue with her tonight, but I did let it get to me." Eddie crawled into bed and settled the covers around them.

"Eddie, listen to me, baby," Jamie said softly. "Lila talked to me after dinner. She really wanted me to walk her down the aisle, she really was disappointed but she understands. Still, she asked me to talk to you about it. She wants you and Erin to go dress shopping with her on Tuesday, she really wants you two on board together. So, I am asking you Eddie, please do this…for her and for me."

So here they sat, she and Erin side by side on plush pink couch while Lila put on the first of three gowns, one picked by Erin, one picked by Eddie, and one picked by Lila herself. "So," Erin began trying to break the ice. "How do you feel about Jamie's decision? I know it's got to be hard."

"It's hard to see him quit, but he's right. His body is beaten up, he's tired and ultimately I think this is better for him. I think part of me always did but it had to be his choice," Eddie replied. "I'm glad he's able to self-transfer, that was the roughest part for me and he felt bad because my arm was swelling. Now that's not an issue. I'm proud of what he's done."

Erin smiled, "So am I. I…uh…" She began the stopped when Lila came out in her own pick, a stunning satin ball gown with a V-neck and beading all over the top. It sported a cream colored beaded belt and a tiny cap sleeve. "Oh, Lila, you look beautiful!" Eddie gasped. "What do you think?

Lila spun around on the podium, "I think I want to see the other two. I don't feel anything in this one."

Erin nodded, "Then it isn't the one. Your Mom cried the minute she put her wedding dress on. You'll know when it's right."

Lila headed back into the dressing room with her consultant. "That dress isn't her," Eddie commented. "And for your information, I did not cry the minute I put on my dress. I didn't cry until they put on the veil."

Erin laughed, "You were a pretty bride, Eddie. Any my brother….I don't think I have ever seen him happier than he was that day waiting for you to walk down the aisle."

"Erin, we are both way beyond having to pretend that you were happy with Jamie's decisions to marry me. I heard everything you said to him that night, and maybe it was wrong of me to hold all that in for almost 30 years but Jamie had his choice, his happiness is what mattered to me."

"It's what mattered to me, too," Erin replied. "Even though Jamie denied it, I knew it was his dream to be in the PC chair. When our mother died, I promised her I'd take care of her Jamie, her baby. I was concerned he wasn't thinking beyond that one moment in time. I got married not thinking…"

Eddie turned, "But it wasn't your business, Erin. Jamie and I got married he was 30, it was not your business anymore! It was his choice, it had to be. I know you think you did it out of love, but you didn't. You did it because you were trying to hold onto Jamie as the baby, you didn't want him to grow up. You couldn't accept his choice when he made it."

Erin held up her hand as Lila emerged once again from the dressing room, this time in Erin's pick. It too was a ball gown, this time with a lot of lace and tulle. It was pretty and Lila looked stunning but it wasn't right.

"You're right. I knew that then too, but I couldn't admit it. You were so different than every other girl, Jamie fell for right down to your blonde hair. Ever other girlfriend Jamie had was a brunette, every single one." Erin replied when Lila returned with her consultant to the dressing room. "I wasn't ready for my little brother to go off and get married, at least not to someone so different than…well, me. You made him happy all these years, and I think maybe being away when the stroke happened I felt…"

"Erin, look, for almost thirty years we have had this divide between us. I know most of that was probably my fault for not speaking up about what I heard, but last night Jamie asked me to bury the hatchet, to let things go. So if you are willing to I'd like us to try to be friends, with the condition that decisions about Jamie's health and recovery are up to Jamie and me unless he chooses to involve the rest of the family. Is that something you think you can live with?"

Erin nodded, "I would like for us to make peace. We both love the same people, we just do it in different ways. I promise I will be laid back with Jamie and with Lila…I'd like to be able to come over again to visit like I used to but I will not interfere with whatever is going on okay?"

Eddie nodded, "That's fine. I…I am sorry I got so vicious, it wasn't easy for me and when things got tight I always talked to Jamie, but…"

"Eddie, you can talk to me, and I promise when I listen this time, I'll be your friend, your sister…not like when you were sick. That was wrong of me and I apologize for breaking your confidence."

Eddie smiled, "I'd like that Erin thanks…" They paused when Lila once again emerged from the dressing room, this time in Eddie's pick. She chose a silk A-line, with a V-neck and lace overlay. Lila had to fan at her eyes when she saw herself in it. As soon as she stepped on the podium, Eddie choked up as well as Erin. Without thinking the two women simultaneously reached for each other's hands and held on tight. The tiny girl they had both held in their arms and watched grow was now a bride. "Oh, your mom and your aunt are crying," the consultant commented. "That only means one thing…"

Lila had found her dress…

"Push me off, Dad," Joey told Jamie as they worked together. They had been working steadily every morning and three nights on Jamie's stamina for over a week. Joey spent the rest of his off time studying. He read that Jamie had to build up his strength by doing resistance exercises. Today Joey was holding Jamie's foot straight, requesting his father to push against his hand. "Just like a gas pedal…push me away…harder, push harder…"

Jamie was gritting his teeth, pushing against Joey's hand with all of the strength he had. Joey pushed with most of his making Jamie work to get his leg out straight. Finally he managed to do it and almost cried out in happiness!

"Way to go, Dad!" Joey congratulated. "Four more of those then let's try a slow walk to the bathroom for a shower. My will be glad to see you all cleaned up when she gets home from shopping."

"I hope that's going well," Jamie sighed. "I talked to your Mom about trying to let things go. Making peace with Aunt Erin for Lila's sake, and all that." He took a deep breath and pushed again, the workouts with Joey were proving to work and more than that they proved to be times when Jamie and Joey could have good conversations.

"Well, if Mom is okay with Aunt Erin, then I am, but I'm not going to put up with anyone disrespecting my mother in her own house, especially my aunt." Joey pushed back against Jamie's foot and felt Jamie instinctively push back.

They did the exercise until they reached five times, the Joey got Jamie's walker. "Okay…off to the shower with you. Let's have a surprise for Mom when she gets home."

Joey found the idea of doing things for Eddie was a great motivational tool for his father. She had her check-up in two days to see how her arm was healing. They wanted nothing more than for Dr. Brady to pronounce the current treatment was working and that Eddie would not need any more medical intervention.

"Mom likes to take showers with me," Jamie joked.

"Dad, that is way too much information," Joey laughed. "Still I hope that you two are what I'll be like with my wife. The way you adore Mom. When she was sick, I know I was only seven, but I used to wonder if she didn't would you have…"

"No," Jamie said quickly. "I'd have raised you kids alone with my family's help. I knew your mom was it for me when we were still partners. And it's no lie, son," Jamie said firmly pulling himself up after only three tries. "You will know it. If you don't feel it now for you partner, she's not the one, son."

Jamie slowly started walking, still pushing his leg. When he got himself more mobile he would work on taking proper steps. "This isn't about Annie, Dad," Joey sighed. "This is about you getting better and me being in awe of your marriage to Mom, that's it."

Jamie nodded, he'd revisit this topic when he sensed Joey was ready. As Jamie worked his way to the bathroom the edge of the walker caught on the rug. Jamie felt the structure shift and let go for it before it caused him to fall. Joey grabbed Jamie around the waist and held him up, "You okay, Dad?" Joey asked. Neither man thought of Frank who was in the living room reading his newspaper.

When Frank heard the clatter from the bedroom, he got up immediately and headed to the bedroom, his cane clicking on the floor. "Jamie!" he called out. "Jamie, are you all right?"

Joey had just picked up the walker and handed it back to Jamie when they heard Frank calling out, "Yeah, I'm good," Jamie replied out of breath from the scare and having taken four good steps. "I knocked something over."

Both Jamie and Joey shared a knowing look, they knew they were about to get busted. Jamie took hold of the walker again just as the bedroom door flew open to reveal Frank's all-encompassing form. "Busted," Frank said with a smirk on his face. He knew for a few days that Joey and Jamie were up to something, but he didn't dream it was something like this. "Jamie!" he gasped seeing that Jamie was a good distance from the bed. "What are you doing? Are you…"

Jamie smiled, "Going to take a shower, Dad."

"You're walking." It wasn't a question. "But Sunday you said…"

"Grandpa, I know you're surprised to see this but he's not really that good at standing for a long time so we need to keep moving then we can talk."

Frank nodded, having no intention of leaving before seeing Jamie walk. He remembered when he saw Jamie take his first steps the first time around. His heart swelled with pride when he saw Jamie take the last six steps to the bathroom before sitting down heavily on the toilet.

Frank moved further inside the room, and sat on the bed. "Jamie…You're walking! You said on Sunday that you were…"

"I know Dad, I know…" Jamie said trying to catch his breath. "And do not say anything to Eddie, I don't know if I'll ever take a real step or if this is it and if this is it, she cannot take any more disappointments."

Frank rubbed his mustache, "Well, I won't say anything," he declared. "But I can't promise to keep the smile off my face. I know that you won't' reach your goal sneaking around though, you're just lucky today Eddie is out."

Jamie nodded, his heart rate finally regulating. "Well, now you know, maybe you can run interference for me with Eddie, especially when Joe works nights."

Frank's eyes twinkled, "Three generations of Reagan men, we'll have you jogging down the aisle…" Frank got up and headed towards the bathroom. "We got this…the girls won't know what hit them."

Jamie showered and dressed while the three men discussed how to go about things. "Well, I can tell Eddie that I need a longer walk. That I've been feeling stiff and can we do it a little longer while Jamie is resting. That will get you guys an extra few minutes," Frank offered.

"That can work, and you can comment on getting in shape for the wedding," Jamie suggested. "Not her, you or she'll get all upset and think she's fat."

"Mom could stand to lose a little weight too, though, Dad," Joey said supervising Jamie's positioning in his wheelchair.

"Bite your tongue," Jamie scolded. "It's her medications that do that. She's only about fifteen pounds over and she's beautiful to me."

"I'm not saying she's not," Joey said quickly. "But this might help her too, Dad. So what about night time?"

"I think your night idea is working with your Mom, Joe," Frank replied. "She likes that you two have those talks. Do you think Jamie two hours a day is enough? The days that Joey is working I can work with you. I can't do the resistance he does but I can watch you walk. You need to start lifting that leg up."

Jamie sighed, "I know, but it's so hard for me still. I'm going to work hard, Dad. I said what I did in case I fail, I can't crush their dreams, Dad. I'll be okay if I fail, I don't know if Eddie will be."

"Eddie is tough, she can take a lot, but far be it from me to take this gift away from you," Frank said smiling at Jamie. "I'm just glad you'll let me help. It's something we can do together. We haven't done much together, the three of us lately."

Jamie nodded, "No we haven't…" He looked at Joe who was also nodding. That had been his fault, he'd held his silly grudge and lost a lot of valuable time. "Well then, let's make the most of it with these workouts, but for now, let's eat cause I'm starved," Joey laughed and pushed Jamie's wheelchair to the kitchen, the click click of Frank's cane signaling he was following them to the table for a well-deserved lunch.


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: We're in the home stretch, folks. Fourteen more chapters to go. Coming up next, instead of one long epic story, will be a series of stories dealing with the next major events in the families lives. We will see Joey find love, Lila's family grown, and Jamie make some major decisions about his life among other life changing events.**

 **I've also had requests to do stories dealing with Nikki's marriage and elopement and developing Jamie and Joey and Lila and Eddie's relationships. Those stories will be coming soon. Thanks for your loyalty and attention! Keep those reviews coming, they inspire me to write more and hopefully write better.**

Chapter Thirty – One

Dr. Brady stepped into the exam room where Jamie and Eddie waited to see him. They could see that some of the swelling had gone down with the treatments prescribed but Eddie still could not wear her rings and the arm was still bigger than the other one.

"How are you feeling, Eddie?" Dr. Brady asked sitting on the stool and sliding over to the exam table. "Take the stocking off and let's see."

Eddie peeled off the stocking and revealed a still swollen arm. It was much less but still significant. "It's better," the doctor replied. "But there is still some blockage here. You still having pain?"

"No," Jamie went to reply and he looked up surprised when Eddie said, "Some."

Jamie looked at her confused, "I get some pain at night if it's chilly but not as much. Also, the machine hurts."

Dr. Brady nodded, "It will and unfortunately, you probably have to keep doing it. I want to run some tests but I suspect that the remaining nodes are so damaged that you'll always have some residual swelling."

That was not what Eddie wanted to hear. "So I'm going to look like this forever. I haven't been able to put my wedding ring on in over two months! Jamie and I have been married 28 years and I have never had my rings off…"

"Eddie, it's all right," Jamie comforted. "The rings don't matter, they don't make the marriage honey." He rubbed her leg to calm her down. "So, we do the tests and if it shows she's got this damage then what do we do?"

"Well, we can continue the current treatment, adjusting as needed up or down depending on the swelling or we can explore surgery…"

"No, I don't want that, I'll make do…I just don't want to have one of my arms looking like a pork sausage."

Jamie and Eddie left the doctor with a new treatment plan. They headed to one of their favorite lunch places from when they rode together in the 12th. "It's all right honey," Jamie soothed. Eddie was really upset especially about her rings. "We can make this work. I'll sit with you while you do the pumps, maybe we can look into couple's massage…that might get other things working…"

Jamie blushed but none of his well-intentioned pep talk was helping Eddie feel better.

"Eddie, the rings, whether or not your arm is swollen, it doesn't matter okay? It doesn't matter one bit to me, hell, look at me. In a wheelchair…my fingers drop everything…but that doesn't matter to you does it. I'm here and I'm yours…that's all that matters to me honey. That you are here with me…" He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it. "Now let's eat."

Jamie ordered chicken sandwich and soup and Eddie got her usual burger and fries. She cut the sandwich into quarters so that it was easier to handle. As they started to eat, Jamie drew Eddie's attention to the back corner of the restaurant. "Eddie…look who it is."

Eddie turned her head to see their son with his partner, both dressed in street clothes enjoying a meal with her two kids. Joey was gently playing with the younger one. He would hold out his hands and let the little boy slap them with his own, the boy laughed and Joey beamed.

"Oh, Jamie," Eddie sighed. "Honey, you have to go to talk to him."

"I will talk to him, sweetheart. I'll talk to him tonight, all right? He seems to think he has feeling for her but that it's not returned and says he's not going to act on it. She's a terrific cop, great record, I like him with her. I feel he's safe…I'm not a Commissioner like my Dad. Just because he might have a crush on his partner, I'm not going to separate them if I think she's…"

"Jamie….It's not going to be up to you much longer. In the next few months, you are going to have to step down. You can't run the NYPD from a wheelchair." Eddie wanted him home in a safe, low stress environment.

Jamie had no intention of returning to his post, but Eddie's words lit a spark in him. 'Why not?" he asked. "Just because I am in this…" He gestured to his wheelchair. "It has nothing to do with this!" He gestured to his head. "I'm still a Harvard educated lawyer. If I want to go back to work I will."

Eddie was surprised by Jamie's emphatic response, "I'm behind you no matter what, you know that…but I'd rather you take it easy. We don't know how many years we have together, I want to make the most of it."

Jamie smiled, "Speaking of which, right after the wedding….You and me…Virginia is for lovers…"

Eddie blushed, "Okay…you win, Reagan. I get the hint…tonight we'll see what you can do."

Eddie was quiet during dinner that night. She was anticipating some private time with Jamie, but also was brooding about her diagnosis. This was the hardest part of the cancer, she lost her breasts, but that wasn't as hard to take as the disfigurement of the lymphedema. They could reconstruct her breasts, but they would never be able to fix her arm.

Eddie kept stirring the sauce, lost in her own world. Would Jamie be able to perform like he wanted? If he could, was she still attractive to him? When Joey came in a little after five, he saw her staring into space. "How's the sauce coming, Mom?"

Eddie gasped in surprise, "It mutated into tomato soup," Eddie laughed. "Go ask Dad what he wants from the Thai place, I'm going to toss this. I'm just distracted tonight."

"You okay? What did the doctor say?" Joey asked rubbing his mother's back slightly.

"That I might never get my arm back to normal, I have to stay on the pumps…I guess I just took it a little hard. Go find out about dinner from Dad."

Joey headed to the bedroom when Jamie was lifting his leg up and down while sitting in his wheelchair. He was working on his exercises day and night. "Dad, Mom messed up on the supper so we're having Thai."

Jamie smiled, "That was twenty…" He sat back and smiled. "Mom had a rough day, I told her not to try to cook but she insisted. That's why I want to talk to you about skipping tonight, after supper I want to spend some alone time with her. She needs that from me and I have to be there. That's part of being half of a whole, Joseph."

"Why do I think you are working on a lecture here, Dad?" Joey asked as Jamie gestured for him to have a seat.

"I saw you today, Joe," Jamie replied. "Playing house with your partner. Far be it from me to talk about having a thing for your partner, I married my partner, but I am going to say this not as just your father and or just your Commissioner, this is as a fellow cop and fellow man…decide, Joey. Decide now if you are going to act on your feelings. I know you have them, I see it in your eyes. You have got to tell her and decide together. I almost lost your mother more than once being stupid."

Joey sighed, "I do love her, Dad. I really do. And I love those kids to death. That little one, Mikey, he really needs a lot of stimulation you know. I tried to go there but she keeps saying we're best friends."

"Lay it out," Jamie told him. "Don't try to go there, just go there. If you truly are best friends, the friendship will stay intact. If you fall on your face, we'll have a couple of beers and shake it off. Don't make my mistakes, Joey. I got lucky, you might not."

Joey knew Jamie was right. "Thanks, Dad. Now I have to tell Mom what you want…Curry Shrimp and veggies?"

Jamie nodded, "Get the beef on a stick too." Joey nodded and headed out to report the menu to his mother.

Eddie called for the Thai then sat down at the kitchen table. Frank appeared at their usual dinner time, "How long did they say? I'm starving."

"Another 20 minutes," she sighed. "I'm sorry, Frank I know you wanted spaghetti."

"Eddie, it's okay," Frank said gently. "I know you didn't want to hear that your arm's swelling might be permanent. I know it hurts and I know you're embarrassed, I know Jamie doesn't care but I know you do." Frank gave her a gentle hug. "Jamie! Joey! Come to the table, dinner will be soon." Frank wanted to surround Eddie with her family, he could feel how upset she was and wanted her to smile.

Jamie propelled himself to the table and tugged on Eddie's right hand, "Sit on my lap…"

"Oh, Jamie, I…." she protested but he pulled her until she sat down and felt his arms go around her. "Remember the first time I held you on my lap?" he asked. "Dad, I don't think you even know this one…That Sergeant had been hitting on you, you were mad at me, again for trying to protect you. We busted him and when it was all over…"

Frank raised his eyebrows, "I never heard this story, did you Joey?" He shook his head.

Jamie laughed and held Eddie a little tighter, "Well, Mom's tough and she can kick ass with the best of them, but when it blows over all that emotion kind of comes out and it did here too. We had a beer and she started to cry in frustration. I had been listening to this guy asking if I had dibs on her and I wanted to scream out yes. We had been dating on and off for a couple of months by then, since Eddie's dad went in the hospital, but I was tired of hiding it, so when she got upset I pulled her into my lap to hold her and decided I wasn't going to let go." Jamie dropped a kiss on Eddie's head.

Jamie and Eddie revealed more of their on the job secrets as they ate their meal. Frank threw in a couple stories of his own, Joey listened hoping one day he could sit with his parents and the love of his life sharing war stories like this.

Joey headed to the living room to play cards with Frank while Jamie and Eddie went into their room earlier than usual. "You and Joey not doing your fireside chat tonight?" Eddie asked.

"I already talked to him, now I think he needs to sit with it and have a good long think," Jamie replied transferring from his wheelchair to their bed. "We need this time anyway I think. I know you are upset about what happened today."

"Jamie, I'm not upset, I just…" Eddie sighed and crawled into their bed. "I know I promised to…"

"Ssh," he soothed. "Just lay with me. Let me hold you." He slid both arms around her. "Did you think six months ago I would ever hold you like this again?" he asked softly kissing her hair. "This feels…so good…" Jamie increased his hold. "You are so beautiful."

After over thirty years together, Jamie knew how to get his wife to open up. She felt fat and ugly and undesirable, slowly, through his gentle words and soft hands, he would get her to settle down.

"Yeah, well you had a stroke," she laughed. "Maybe it messed with your eyesight."

"No," he whispered. "There's nothing wrong with my eyesight, there's nothing wrong with a lot of things anymore." He stroked her bad arm gently, "This…" He dropped light kisses all along the skin. "It's a mark of survival, it's a testimony to your strength and how much you love me to put yourself through that."

Slowly Jamie caressed the skin and let his hand wander to her chest, gently stroking down to her belly. She held most of her added weight there and tried to hide it with big blouses and tight form fitting undergarments. "You held our babies in here…you were never prettier to me than when you were carrying our two babies, did I tell you that?" Carefully but with a slight lack of coordination, Jamie slid down and pulled her night gown's hem up to expose her skin. "Off…" he murmured.

Eddie had promised and his attentions were taking her mind off her earlier mood. She slipped the nightgown off exposing her body to him. "Beautiful" he murmured into her stomach. "Mine…"

Eddie always loved it when he got a little possessive. They shared a heated kiss and she worked at removing his boxers and tee shirt. Jamie cupped her face as she helped him move on top of her, "I love you," he whispered softly, joining their lips as he joined their bodies for the first time in more than six months.

As they lay together, satisfied and exhausted all at once, Jamie stroked Eddie's back with his hand, lulling her to sleep with it's gentle rhythm. He laid awake most of that night watching the beautiful woman in his arms as she was embraced by the gentle recesses of slumber.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter Thirty Two

Jamie woke up with Eddie in his arms. She was still sleeping peacefully with her head on his shoulder. Jamie dropped a kiss on her head, "Hey, Eddie," he whispered to wake her up. "Sweetie, it's time to get up, I have Dr. O'Shea in an hour."

Eddie stirred and sighed, "Reschedule, I'm happy here like this. You're so warm."

Jamie laughed, he's always been a very warm person physically. His body put out a tremendous amount of heat. "I know, sweetheart and we can come right back to the bed after the appointment, which is what I would prefer." Jamie smiled. "Last night was amazing. You are just as beautiful today as you were the day I saw you outside the 12th. Your hair is shorter, a little greyer, your figure is a little fuller, but none of that matters. I hope last night helped you see that, I don't like seeing you like you've been the last day or so, so upset and down on yourself."

Eddie sighed, "I'll be okay. I've gotten into little funks like this before. I don't think I've ever felt more down than after Danny pulled off that bathroom rescue when I was sick, but we go through that." Eddie leaned on her elbow and stroked Jamie's cheek. "You got me through that, you'll get me through this too. We're a team…" She leaned down and kissed him. "Can you get into your chair? I'll get the shower started. We can share."

Jamie's eyes sparkled. He'd missed the deep connection that came from their love making. He felt more confident and complete today than he had since his stroke. Even taking better and steadier steps with Joey that last week hadn't made him feel like this.

They took a quick shower and even though Jamie wasn't supposed to eat in the car, this morning he had a banana as they hurried to his neurologist appointment.

That appointment was just one of the things on Joey's mind as he and Anna came off an extended midnight tour. She noticed he'd been very quiet again that night but instead of letting it fester, she pushed, "Okay, out with it Reagan. You haven't said more than six words the entire tour. Everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything is fine, just thinking about a lot of stuff. My dad and I are talking a lot more and some of the stories he's telling me, it's making me think about things, that's all."

Annie smiled, "I'm glad you two are making up, that's huge." She patted his leg with her hand "I know how much it hurt to be at odds with him."

"It did but we're really working stuff out. My mom is having a hard time with her arm but I think my dad is the best medicine for her, just like…just like you have been for me going through all this stuff with them the past six months. You've been my rock, Annie."

Annie's eyes misted over at Joey's kind words. They separated for a few minutes then met up again in the hallway for an unspoken breakfast. They both knew they needed to have a talk. Jamie had really gotten through to Joey, he planned to tell Annie how he felt about her and suggest they explore a more meaningful relationship. He hoped she felt the same way, he was almost certain that she did.

They went to Archie's, a staple for all the officers in their precinct, but 11am was an off hour so they had the place pretty much to themselves. They ordered coffee and juice, Annie ordered an omelet but Joey just stared at the menu, not speaking.

"Joe, we came here to eat and you aren't ordering. You said you wanted to talk but you're not talking. Are you angry at me again? Did I do or say something wrong?" Annie was nervous, Joey even angry didn't act quite like this.

"No, Annie, God no, it's nothing like that. I'm just…" Joey took a deep breath and reached across the table to take her hand into his own. "Annie, you know my parents were partners on the job before they got married. They were in the car every day, their lives on the line, they were each other's best friend just like you and me. In all these talks I'm having with my dad about things, he's told me about how he felt with my mom and…Annie I realized everything he said to me about it, every feeling he described, I have the same ones. I feel just the same way…"

Joey shifted and swallowed not giving her a chance to talk. "I don't want you to run after a perp unless I can see you, I try to keep you back if I think things are going to get dangerous, and most of all even after spending 12 hours in a car with you, I want to go out with you and be with you when the tour is over. I don't want my space, I want to spend more time with you. What I'm saying is I love you, Ann and I think we need to get new partners. If you don't feel the same…"

Annie had teared up, Joey was her best friend and her partner but she did not share his romantic feelings as much as she had though she might. "Joe…I am really…" She wiped at her eyes knowing the blow she was about to deliver. "I am so flattered that you feel that way. We are best friends and I do love you so much…" Annie pulled her hands back. "But I don't love you like that. As much as I wish I could, I know you would be the best boyfriend and great for my kids but I just…I don't love you like that Joe…"

Joey felt as if she'd had ripped his heart out. He didn't think anything could feel worse than hearing his mother had cancer when he was seven but this did by ten folds. He felt his breath catch and for a minute he wasn't sure if it was going to start up again.

Annie was crying full force now staring into the eyes of her dearest friend. "Let's just forget this. I know I hurt you and I am so sorry but we are best friends and we can always be that."

Joey sucked in a breath, "Annie, I know I said that but…now that things went this way I think I need sometime. I'm going to ask Sarge to split us up for the remainder of the week. You are my best friend, and I am in love with you. Your feelings unfortunately don't change mine. I don't want to lose the friendship, we are both adults and I think it can be salvaged but for now I just…" He stood up putting money on the table. "I need a couple of days. Try to give me that."

He turned on a heel and left the restaurant needing to get away before he broke down in tears. All he wanted to do was go home and go to bed. He checked his watch, it was only a little after noon. His folks would still be at the doctor. He could go home and sneak around his grandpa, blaming his bad mood on lack of sleep. Then later when he had a better handle on himself he could tell his parents what happened. Yes that was the plan. Joey started his car and turned for home.

Joey couldn't keep the tears at bay as he drove from the Manhattan diner to his parent's Brooklyn home. He hoped that his grandfather would be resting, he knew his folks were at the doctor and his sister was at school. The only obstacle between him and getting to the privacy of his bedroom was a very astute 92 year old man.

Joey parked his car and headed inside. To his chagrin Frank was sitting in his chair watching the afternoon news. He took one look at Joey and knew something was horribly wrong. "Joey?" Frank asked. "Did something…"

"No, grandpa, I'm just really beat. I'm going to go up to bed. I'm exhausted, extended tour and I think I have cold. Love you Grandpa."

Joey ran up the steps to hide from his grandpa, and from everyone.

Jamie and Eddie arrived home at three. Jamie was beaming, he had just been released from Dr. O'Shea's service, and his medical care could now be overseen by just Dr. O'Donnell.

"So, I take it that you got really good news from the smile on your face," Frank observed smiling at Jamie and Eddie when the entered the house.

"Incredible news, Dad. I don't have to see the neurologist again for a year. He says my scans are coming back great and he's totally floored with my progress."

"That's great, Jamie. Really! I am so proud of you son!" Frank smiled and got up to bestow a rare kiss on Jamie's forehead.

"Thanks, Dad. Where is Joey? I want to tell him the good news. Eddie is making a special dinner tomorrow to celebrate!"

"Uh, about Joey, Jamie I hate to ask this, and I think I already know the answer by your demeanor but, did you lose someone today?" Frank was concerned about how upset Joey had been.

"No, uh uh, Jack would have called me about something like that," Jamie replied quickly. "Why, what's wrong Dad? Did something happen to Joe?"

Frank took a breath, "He got home late, really late even for an extended midnight. He didn't say much to me, just rushed upstairs but I've been around long enough to be able to tell the boy was crying. I thought maybe…"

"Damn it!" Jamie swore, his temper flaring.

"Jamie?" Eddie looked at her husband, confused.

"Eddie, I think I gave Joey some bad advice," Jamie sighed. "Some really bad advice. Poor kid…I wish I was out of this thing so I could go up…"

"What did you do, Jamie?" Eddie asked. She felt she already knew but wanted confirmation before getting angry.

"I advised him if he had feelings for Annie that he had to tell her," Jamie confessed. "And I think he did and those feelings were not being returned. Our boy is upstairs now crushed and probably feeling betrayed by the two people he should be able to count on, his partner and his dad."

Eddie felt terrible for her husband and her son. She knew Jamie was only trying to mend fences with Joey and now it seemed it blew up at them. "You forgot one important person, his Mom. I'll go up and have Joey come down so we can talk." Eddie dropped a kiss on Jamie's head. "He knows you meant well, don't worry, I'm sure he won't be angry. "

Eddie climbed the steps to Joey's old room. Jamie looked at Frank, "I know, Dad, nothing in life can hurt like the pain your children feel. And I did this to him, I told him…"

"You did what you thought was right, you were remembering you and Eddie and did what you probably wish I would have done. We each make our own way, Jamie. There was no wrong in what you told him. Your reasons were pure, Joe will understand that"

Eddie gently tapped on Joey's door but didn't receive an answer. Slowly she pushed the door open nd found her lying on the bed, tears still streaming down his cheeks.

"Can we talk?" Eddie asked gently walking over to Joey. At the moment he was four years old again. It was the first time he'd really shown his Reagan temper, Eddie remembered it like it was yesterday.

" **You ready to tell him?" Jamie asked as he put his hands on Eddie' belly for the third time that morning. They learned three weeks ago she was pregnant with their second child but put off telling anyone until she was in her second trimester. Before announcing her pregnancy at family dinner, they decided to sit Joey down and let him know he was going to be a big brother.**

" **Yeah, he's going to be fine," Eddie replied. "He'll love the idea of being the big brother."**

 **Were they ever wrong! Jamie and Eddie held Joey between then, "Joey, Mommy and Daddy have something important we have to tell you," Jamie began. "Do you remember how sometimes in the morning Mommy's tummy is hurting or how she gets upset sometimes?"**

 **Joey nodded, "Is Mommy got a boo boo?"**

 **Jamie smiled, "No, champ. Mommy is going to be just fine. In fact, Mommy is going to have a baby in the summer. You're going to be a big brother!"**

 **Jamie tried to make it sound like the best thing ever but instead of Joey being excited, he got angry. He slapped at Eddie's hand and hopped off the couch. "No, I don't want to! You're going to forget me and love the new baby!" He took off to his room after delivering a swift kick to Eddie's foot for good measure.**

 **Jamie and Eddie exchanged baffled looks. "I better talk to him," Jamie sighed.**

" **No, let me," Eddie offered. "I think he just needs to know he's not losing his Mommy."**

For Eddie, in this moment, Joey might as well have been that four year old boy scared to death his mommy and daddy were going to forget him.

Eddie sat down on the bed and reached out to stroke Joey's hair. "You know, this always made you feel better. No matter what was going on, no matter how much it hurt, you would calm down and things would be better when I did this."

"Somehow I don't think petting my head is going to do it this time Mom," Joey sighed. "I am so stupid. Why did I do that?" He was trying very hard not to cry harder in front of his mom.

"Because you felt something, honey," Eddie replied gently keeping up the hypnotic comfort motion she always had success with. "You felt something for Annie and you wanted to let her know. If she did feel something back, you would never know without talking to her first, right?"

"I'm not angry at Dad, I hope he doesn't think…"

Eddie cut Joey off. "This isn't about Dad right now, this is about you. You gave your heart like a man today, Joe. There are men twice your age without the guts to do something like that. It didn't turn out like you wanted it to, and I know it hurts believe me I know it hurts, sweetie, but it took courage and strength of character to do what you did. I am so proud of you, Joseph Patrick."

Joey gave Eddie a small smile, "You usually only call me that when you're mad at me for something."

"No, I call you that when I'm being serious," Eddie replied. "When I want you to really understand and hear what I am saying to you."

It made Joey feel a little better to hear Eddie was proud, he felt that by arguing with Jamie so much before his stroke, he'd let his mother down. "I just really wanted her to say it back, Mom. I though she cared for me. When Dad had the stroke and we thought you were sick for a bit, she was there for me. She let me crash at her place, she held my hand…she did all the things you do for Dad when he's sad or scared or whatever."

Eddie nodded, "And it confused you. Joey, something you need to understand about dad and me, we aren't just husband and wife and lovers and mates, we're each other's best friend. When I do those things for your father, sometimes there is very little romance in there. There's a whole lot of a very special kind of love, and I do believe that Annie feels that kind of love for you, just not in the same way you feel it. I know it hurts, there is not a pain you've gone through in your life that Dad and me haven't felt right along with you, but I think when the pain stops, and I promise you it will, you'll see that you two do share that precious kind of friendship that only comes from trusting one another with your lives."

"I just want what you and Dad have, and I thought…"

Eddie smiled, "What Dad and I have is so rare, Joe. No one else that I know, happily married or otherwise has what we have. If you look for that, you might end up being disappointed."

Eddie felt Joey was confused, and believed he had to be in love with his partner to share the deep abiding love she had with Jamie. "When you find the right woman you will know and so will she. You won't have to come to me or to Dad to talk yourself into it, you'll have to come to us to talk yourself out of it…and it won't work because it will be too deep inside of you."

Joey's tears started to fall again. Eddie reached out and wiped the off his face with her hand before opening her arms and letting Joey put his head on her breast. She held onto him and rocked a little bit, "I know, sweetheart. I know…"

Joey cried in his mother's arms for a few minutes. Eddie pulled back when she felt him quiet down, "How about we go downstairs, we order pizza and if you feel like talking more to me or Dad, great and if not, we get out the Honeymooner's DVDs and just laugh until we fall asleep, sound like a plan?"

Eddie was rewarded with a small smile, "Okay…I think I will talk to Dad later when I put him to bed but for now, pizza and some laughs sound good, but can you throw in a beer?"

Eddie laughed as he rose from his bed to follow her down the steps, "Now I know you're my son…"

Joey didn't seem to want to discuss his discussion with Annie when he went downstairs and Jamie did not bring it up, wanting to respect his privacy. The talk with Eddie seemed to help him feel better, that was all that mattered to Jamie. So he decided to wait until their workout that night before bringing it up.

"I'm so sorry, Joe," Jamie said as Joey strapped a leg weight to his weaker ankle. "I really did think from what I observed…" Jamie began doing his leg lifts.

"I know, it's not your fault, Dad," Joey said. "I don't hold you responsible for any of this, okay? It was my choice, I thought we were right too."

The work-outs and the talks Joey and Jamie had been sharing over the last month had really done wonders for their relationship. There was a day when Joey would have heaped all the blame in his father's lap.

"I don't want to push you son," Jamie said gently. "If you and Mom talked it out that's great but I'm here…" Jamie finished his 25th repetition.

"I know you are Dad, and there is one thing," he replied. "How do I get in a car with her again?" Joey asked. "It's so hard to even think about it."

"Well, you don't have to do that, Joe. You can put in a request to go to another partner or even another precinct. You have to do your job and Annie has to do hers. If you can't do it together then you have to do it apart."

"I know, Dad," Joey replied. "You up for a couple of steps. Pretty soon you'll be ready to reveal all of this to mom."

"Not yet, not until I can make it around the room without getting too winded," Jamie replied. "Let's do it…"

Joey locked the wheelchair and handed Jamie his walker. He held the back of the chair to steady if for Jamie as he stood up. He didn't shake anymore when it was time to stand. His steps were much more sure and steady. The previous week, Jamie had begun lifting his leg when he took a step. All that was left was to raise his level of stamina. He still got incredibly winded and tired walking just short distances.

Joey supervised as he walked around the bed, to the bathroom and back. "Good job, Dad!" Joey praised. 'You ready for bed? I'll get you settled and have Mom come in."

Jamie nodded. Joey turned down the bed, "You do it today, Dad. You get yourself all the way in, bad leg too. You can do that." Joey was so proud of all they did together as he watched Jamie get into bed, good leg first then his bad. He still needed help getting the weaker limb elevated on pillows.

Joey left the room at the same time as Eddie entered. "You comfy?" she asked as she began to change into her nighttime garments.

"Yes, Joe does a good job," Jamie replied. "He was so quiet at dinner, but he didn't seem to want to talk too much."

"He's embarrassed," Eddie replied. "It took a lot of guts to do what he did and I'm proud of him. I told him that. He knows if he needs us we're here for him."

Eddie slid into bed and snuggled up to Jamie. "The right girl is out there for our boy, Jamie. If Annie isn't it then it's someone else. I just need him to find her before he hurts himself again, you know?"

Jamie nodded kissing Eddie's head. "I know, when he does find her, all of this will be worth it. All of my broken hearts sure were. The moment I meant you I realized I had to walk that path to get to that moment, I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

Eddie smiled and reached out to caress Jamie's cheek, "I'd do all of it again ten times over if it meant having you in my life. I love you so much Jamie, our family, it's worth everything to me."

Jamie sighed holding her close to him, "Our Lila has found her someone, and soon Joey will too. I'm almost glad it wasn't Annie. I'm not sure I'm ready to be an instant grandpa. Nothing against her having kids but Joe is young for that too."

Eddie had to agree with Jamie on that front, Joey was a good boy, but at 25 he was not quite responsible enough to be a dad to two little kids, at least not in their opinion.

"What's on your plate for tomorrow?" Jamie asked as his eyes grew heavy

"Dress shopping with Lila and Erin," Eddie replied "I have to find a mother of the bride dress and Erin wanted to come along. Since we are working through things I didn't want to say no."

Jamie hugged Eddie a little closer, "Good for you, Ed. I'm proud of you. I know you will look so beautiful that day I won't even be looking at the bride, just my bride." Jamie lifted her chin and kissed her lips in a deep kiss that quickly turned from loving to passionate…Eddie didn't mind at all.

 **A/N: Well a lot happened in this chapter. For those of you that are Joey and Annie shippers, have no fear we have not seen the last of Annie, she will be popping up more in this and subsequent stories. Not everyone finds Mr or Ms Right on the first go and not everyone notices it when they find it. Hope you all enjoyed the story.**

 **Later this week, please look for a sidebar story entitled…Going to the Courthouse…This will delve into Nikki's elopement and explain that decision.**


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter Thirty – Three

"What about this one, Eddie?" Erin asked as she pulled yet another dress from the rack. "It has a jacket so it can cover…"

Eddie nodded, "Grey is a nice color too with the pink in Lila's pallet. What do you think honey?"

"Anything that makes you feel okay is fine for me, Mom," Lila replied. "You're going to look pretty no matter what. If you think something sleeveless will be more comfortable then wear that."

Eddie wouldn't dream of wearing any without a concealing sleeve to her daughter's wedding. The swelling was proving to be a huge issue finding a dress. She went into the dressing room and slid on the grey silk gown that Erin pulled for her. The bodice of the dress fit perfectly and the cap sleeve didn't pull but when she slid the jacket on it cut off the circulation in her left arm, the material incredibly tight over her skin.

"I hope this one takes," Lila sighed. "She's been so down on herself lately. Dad's at his wits end trying to convince her that it all doesn't matter. I think the wedding is making it worse. The doctor told her that she will probably never…"

The dressing room door opened and Eddie came out in the grey dress. "Oh that look so nice on you," Erin smiled. "It does a lot for your curves, you can see you figure…"

"The jacket sleeve it too tight," Eddie sighed. "I'm not going to find anything that looks right and feels okay too."

"Put the jacket on and let me see," Erin told Eddie who complied. All three women could see the material pulling and rolling. "Do you love this dress?" Lila aske Eddie. She shook her head.

"Let's keep looking."

Two hours later Eddie had tried on ten more gowns, none of them would fit around her arm properly. The next to last dress she really fell in love with. It was midnight blue with a sweetheart neckline covered with a sheer drape. It had a wide strap sleeves with an A line silhouette. The color was perfect for Lila's color palette and Eddie complexion the only problem, the sequin jacket did not fit.

"I guess I can just wear it like this," Eddie sighed looking at herself in the mirror. "And stand strategically so that no one sees it in the pictures."

"Let me see," Erin said biting her lip in thought. "What if we saw someone in alterations and have them open the seam. It's not as tight as the other dresses, if they can put a false seam in it might be more comfortable."

Eddie thought about it and smiled, "That might work, the worse that can happen is they say they can't right?"

They spent an hour in alterations and it was determined that they would be able to open the sleeve to get it to fit Eddie more comfortably. Still, as they three women had lunch, Eddie was quiet and picked at her plate.

"Mom, you feeling okay?" Lila asked. "You barely touched your lunch."

"I'm okay honey, I'm just a little tired. Dad had a rough night last night and then there's the thing with Joey. He was back to riding with Annie today, I guess I'm concerned that he's not 100% focused on the job."

"I wish I could give her a piece of my mind," Lila grouched. "He's a pain in the butt but he's my only brother. What is he not good enough for her or something?"

"I don't think it's that," Erin offered. "I think she just doesn't have those feelings for him, that happens and it's okay. Joey probably should have kept it to himself…"

"Jamie advised him to speak his mind, and let her know what was in his heart. It took guts for Joey to do that and frankly it took guts for Jamie to give that advice. Their relationship has grown leaps and bounds, one good thing that came from the strong."

Erin smiled softly at Eddie, "There's no end to the blessings from Jamie's stroke, if that means we all got closer together."

Eddie nodded, since she opened up to Erin they had become a little closer and the tension was reduced. "I just have this feeling…" Eddie sighed but made a more concerted effort to eat her lunch.

Back at the house, Jamie was hard at work on his leg under Frank's watchful eye. "Try to lift it up more, even if it looks off. You can't shuffle walking down the aisle you'll slip on the rug."

"I know Dad, but it still feels like I'm lifting weights," Jamie sighed. "I'm working as hard as I can." Breathless he sat down on the bed. "Even using the brace it still feels like I'm walking on pins and needles."

"I can't pretend to know how that feels," Frank sighed. "All I know is you are beating the odds already Jamie and you can keep doing it. Let's give it another lap before the girls get home."

Jamie drank some water and stood up against with an ease and efficiency that was elusive to him even a month ago. With practice precision he lifted the walker, then slowly picked up his left leg sitting it down the completing the step with his stronger leg. "If you aren't worried about falling you won't," Frank reminded Jamie. "Think about the look on Eddie's face when she sees you walking."

Jamie gritted his teeth and completed two laps around the bed before sitting down again, this time in his wheelchair.

"They'll be home soon, I can't get caught, not yet. I'm not ready," Jamie told Frank. "Tonight Joe is increasing the weight on my leg lifts, to get my endurance up even more."

Frank smiled as he handed Jamie a wet towel to wipe the perspiration from his face. "Let's have some iced tea and play some cards so it looks like we've kept busy," Frank offered. "I hope Eddie found a dress, Erin was determined to get her to commit to something."

Jamie nodded, "Three times this week they went shopping, Eddie comes home more and more depressed. I tell her over and over again I don't care that she's put on some weight, she's taking so many medications since she had that scare, but I'm not getting through."

"You will son," Frank encouraged. "You will get through, you'll find a way."

Frank shuffled and dealt a beginning hand for gin rummy.

Jamie had just achieved "gin" when the girls arrived home. "Hey, baby," Jamie smiled and reached out for Eddie to give her a kiss. "Hey Kitten. How did shopping go?"

"I found a dress that need just as much in alterations as it cost to actually purchase," Eddie sighed. "But at least it's over with."

She disappeared from the kitchen in favor of the bedroom as Erin entered the house. Jamie's eyes looked at his sister, "Don't look at me like that, I was very nice, we bonded a little bit even. The dress is beautiful."

"Mom's upset a little bit still," Lila explained to her aunt. "Dad, Aunt Erin really was super nice to Mom she even figured out how to help her get a dress so it fit her arm. I think she's just upset she had to get a bigger size and it needs a lot of work."

Jamie nodded, he planned to address this tonight. He hated how his wife was feeling about herself lately.

Eddie came to the table and chatted in a lively manner all through dinner, but Jamie could see the sparkle in her eye was still elusive. Jamie was glad that his wife and his sister were sitting down together at the table.

"So aside from flowers the major things for the wedding are done," Erin said smiling. "Jamie what about if we put some flowers on your wheelchair for when you accompany Lila down the aisle. It will look festive, you in your tuxedo and some florals…"

Jamie was making such a funny face Eddie had to laugh, "We'll see about that Erin. I think Jamie will make enough of a decoration in his tux, you still cut a handsome picture in a tuxedo."

Jamie blushed and laughed, "Lila's wedding day is going to be amongst the happiest days," he declared reaching for his little girl's hand. "I'm so glad I'm going to be well enough to enjoy it."

Jamie watched Eddie's smile fade as he said that. He knew her health was okay so that wasn't the problem. He would talk to her about it later, he promised himself.

Joey was on graveyard, so it fell to Eddie to help Jamie get into bed that night. He put up a remarkable showing of helping her get him settled. He waited while Eddie changed, and pulled her close once she settled into bed.

"Well, I'm glad you found a dress that you like, I can't wait to see how you look in it," Jamie whispered to her hair. Eddie was curled up tight to his side. "You will probably look just a beautiful as the day I married you."

"Oh, please, Jamie," Eddie scoffed. "I haven't been that beautiful in a very long time. I had to settle anyway, all of the dresses I really liked didn't have jackets to hide the puffiness. This one needs tons of alterations to make the jacket fit but at least there was a cooperative seamstress."

Jamie started to gently rub Eddie's arm, "You don't seem to be very happy, sweetheart. Even if you settled on a gown, you got that part finished and you did it with Lila and Erin as a team. You said that's what you wanted."

Eddie sighed, "It is. I guess it's just bringing up a lot of memories for me, I didn't get to do this with my mother…and then I keep thinking about our wedding…and I look at my hand…without your rings on it…"

Eddie was getting upset again, Jamie sighed and held her tighter. "Eddie, you will wear my rings again, I believe that. I believe it with all my heart. Just like you and I believed that I'd get better, that I would make strides in recovering from my stroke, I believe that the therapies will work and you'll get those rings back on."

Jamie dropped a kiss on her head, "Being sad is okay but letting it ruin this time with Lila, a time you never had, that you miss to this day, it's not worth it, sweetie. I just isn't."

Eddie new he was right, "I just…I don't feel as connected I mean…when we weren't together and I would feel scared or upset I would just look at my hand and that physical piece was there to remind me…to feel you close…and now it isn't."

Jamie snuggled her closer, "It will be again, sweetie. I promise and you know I keep my promises to you, always. Don't ruin this Eddie, weight gain, a swollen arm, all of that doesn't matter to Lila, make those memories with her. That is what this is all about, that is what you deserve as her mother. We raised her up from a little seedling into this beautiful flowering tree…we deserve to be happy, and you most of all deserve it. Try to think about that okay?"

Eddie rubbed her cheek against Jamie's chest, he always knew how to make her feel better and put things in perspective when she lost her way. "I love you Jamie,' she whispered gently. "I will look at this another way from now on, I promise."

"Try to sleep now," Jamie whispered softly. "I heard Lila saying you are looking at flowers tomorrow."

Eddie laughed, "Oh yes, this time around it's roses and carnations but I know it will change twice before we even get out the door. Was I this indecisive when…?"

"Yes," Jamie laughed, then covered his face with both arms as Eddie pounced on him.

 **A/N: Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. It was a little bit of filler before the action picks up in the next chapter. We have three major events and ten chapters left before the end of this story. Following this story will be a much shorter story entitled A Healing Peace. Please let me know in your reviews or PMs if you'd like me to update once a day until the story is finished. If I do there might be a few weeks between the ending of this story and he next story being posted. Alternately, I can post every other day and then there would be less of a gap between stories. I'd like to hear your opinions.**

 **Later this week look for sidebar story, Going to the Courthouse, about Nikki's elopement and the next installment of Pillow Talk featuring the episode New Rules. Thanks for reading and reviewing. I look forward to hearing from you again.**


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter Thirty Four

Joey entered Markman's Jewelry with his precious cargo in his pocket. During their work out yesterday, Jamie had slipped him Eddie's rings. "Size them up to an 8. She's gone up about a size and a half since this business with her arm and hand. It's breaking her heart not to be able to wear them. Get a price and I'll write you a check."

Joey quickly agreed to do this favor for his father. It broke his own heart to see how down and depressed his mother had been the last couple of weeks. The day after Jamie made the request he made it his business to stop by the family owned jeweler on his way home from work. Stan was in the back when he entered, the bell above the door signaled his arrival.

Stan Markman was an old man, not quite as old as Frank but he was at least in his eighties. His wife had passed away years ago and as far as Joey knew, he had no children. All the kids that would go into the store became like his family. He came out of the backroom where he still did all of his own repairs and smiled when he saw Joey. "Stan, Joe Reagan. How you doing?"  
"Little Joey Reagan, I remember selling your father your communion cross. Don't tell me, you met a special young lady."

"Actually," Joey replied as a female customer entered the store. "I'm here for a special older lady. My Mom injured her hand and can't get her rings on. Can you size them up for me? Size 8. She's been really down about not being able to wear them. My dad wants to have them fixed as a surprise."

Stan took the rings and checked the metal, "I sure can do that. You can pick them up next week."

Joe smiled, "That's good; my Dad will be really pleased. Can I use the bathroom in the back, I got off tour and..."

Stan laughed, "You always had to use my bathroom. Go ahead, but the door sticks."

Joey disappeared as Stan went to help his waiting customer. The back bathroom was smaller than a closet but it served its purpose. This had been the family's go-to store for years. He remembered coming here with Jamie for birthday presents and anniversary gifts for Eddie. Jamie had spoken to him about it when he planned to return Eddie's rings to her finger and it warmed his heart that their relationship was still so special. It made his heart ache for what he wanted but could not have.

The sound of the ringing bell announced the arrival of another customer who was wearing a navy blue hoodie with both his hands in his pockets. Stan looked up from where he was a helping a young woman pick out a pair of earrings for her niece's birthday. "I need to see the diamond rings," the customer demanded.

"Oh yes, the diamond rings, I am just wrapping up this transaction and I will be right with you. If you tell me your price range, I can direct you to a case…"

The man quickly pulled a gun out of his pocket, "I need to see all the diamond rings and no funny business," he moved closer to the female customer and aimed the gun at her, "or I'll kill her."

Joey washed his hands and prepared to leave the bathroom. As he opened the bathroom door he heard a shrill scream followed by the sound of breaking glass. "Reagans don't punch out at end of tour…" he heard his grandfather, father, and uncle say this over and over again over the course of his life and it was true for him as well. Joey grabbed his cell phone and dialed 911, "This is Officer Joseph Reagan, shield number 46808; I have a 10-30 at 4568 Dunston Street. Send units…"

The dispatcher instructed the lone officer to stay hidden but when Joey heard another cry from the frightened woman in the main part of the store, he knew he had to do something. He reached for his off-duty weapon and crept out quietly to get a view of the scene. He saw a male white in a navy blue hoodie holding a gun on Stan and a young lady. Joey took a deep breath and approached hoping to take the gunman by surprise. "Police drop the weapon!" Joey shouted revealing himself with his gun drawn and fixed on the gunman.

Joey's nostrils were flaring, he felt the blood and adrenaline pulsating through his body. He wasn't sure what he expected to happen, he hoped the shock value would cause the thief to drop his gun. Joey was a little surprised when the suspect turned and fired at him twice.

One bullet whizzed by his head grazing his temple, while the second hit the fleshy part of his upper arm. Joey staggered back and hissed in pain. His hand opened involuntarily, much in the same way Jamie's had when he had the stroke, and he dropped his gun. "What did you do that for? We can talk this out okay. Put the gun down, we'll talk. What do you want?"

As Joey spoke inside units were beginning to canvas the scene. One radioed in "Central, 35-Alpha 4568 Dunston Street, shots fired. Suspect on scene...possible hostages...please advise."

Across town at 1PP, Jack Reagan sat behind his uncle's desk. He'd been in the chair for months but it still felt like he was playing dress up, sitting in his Uncle Jamie's car like he did as a kid. Detective Cynthia Meyers, his acting Chief of Staff, knocked on his door, "Chief Reagan, we have a hostage situation at Markman's Jewelry with shots fired."

Jack sighed, "Old Stan Markman, he's almost as old as my grandfather. Do we have eyes and ears on the scene?"

"Yes, sir, we do," Detective Meyers replied. "Officer Reagan, Joseph is inside."

Jack sighed, "Get the detail up and running. Notify HSN, ESU, and SWAT. I'm heading there as soon I inform my aunt and uncle of what's going on. Tell the detail we're heading for the Commissioner's house."

Jack rose and tightened his tie. "Thank you Meyers." Jack nodded at the detective and headed to meet his detail. That still felt funny, but his Uncle Jamie had faith in him. He felt he owed it to his uncle to tell him about the incident in person before he went to the scene.

Jamie, Eddie, and Frank were enjoying some lemonade during the hot afternoon. Eddie stirred a fresh batch while Frank rested on the couch, the heavy air was hard on his breathing. It was a pleasant afternoon though in spite of the heat, so the last thing that Jamie, Eddie, and Frank expected was for Jack to arrive at their house with Jamie's detail. Eddie answered the door as Jamie had just pulled up his wheelchair to the card table next to Franks' chair to begin a game of chess. "Jack, what a nice surprise," Eddie smiled offering him a hug.

"Aunt Eddie, I need to talk to you and Uncle Jamie. Something's happened." Jack's stance and expression coupled with her mother's intuition told Eddie that that something involved their son. Eddie's heart fell to her stomach, "Jamie! Jamie!"

Jamie heard Eddie's frightened cry and pushed his wheelchair at the fullest speed possible to reach her side, "Jamie…" she gasped and looked up at Jack.

Jamie immediately took hold of Eddie's hand, "What is it, Jack?" he asked feeling like he might get sick at the pale look on his nephew's face.

Jack took a deep breath, "Uncle Jamie, there's a hold up at Markman's, it's escalated to a hostage situation with shots fired. The initial 911 call came from Joey and units on the scene have confirmed that he is inside."

Eddie's knees buckled and she nearly fell to the ground. She knew Joey was a highly trained and capable NYPD officer but he was also her little boy. "Sit down sweetheart," he said softly. "Dad, will you take her? I have to go with Jack."

"Jamie!" Eddie gasped. "You can't go out there! Jack can handle it, you can help him from here if you need to do that. Please, Jamie."

"Eddie, this is our son! I am sorry but Jack has never navigated a hostage situation without me there! Yes, I want my nephew and then my son to succeed me in the Commissioner's chair but neither one of them is ready. This is my son, my boy and I'm not staying here in this wheelchair, not while someone has a gun on him!"

As much as Eddie wanted to beg Jamie to stay with her, she knew there would be nothing she could say or do to keep Jamie from going to that scene. Jamie and Joey had become so close the last few months. Jamie had to do this, if something horrible was going to befall their boy, Eddie knew Jamie would never live with himself if he didn't do everything in his power to stop it.

Jamie sensed his wife's fear, she was scared that she might lose her only son and her husband as well. Jamie reached out and held Eddie's hand, "I'll stay back near the van, if I get tired I'll have someone bring me home. I owe it to Joe, we've talked a lot the last couple of months, he's always felt as if I put him behind everyone else. He needs me now and I can't let him down."

"You promised me Jamie," Eddie said as a last ditch effort. "You promised me you were retiring…"

"Eddie," he sighed. "This isn't that. I have to do this and I want you behind me. I want you here, home and safe, believing that I can do this. You believed in me, that I could get well and I am so much better now, I need you to believe in this too."

Eddie nodded, "Be careful, please," she begged. "Jack, keep your eye on him, please make sure he doesn't over do it." Eddie held Jamie tight as he prepared to head out.

Jamie leaned over and gave Eddie a kiss goodbye, "I love you," he told her emphatically. "I'll get him out safe."

Jamie hated to leave Eddie when she looked so terrified. She was shaking under his hands as he let go and headed for the door.

Jack and the members of the Commissioner's detail got Jamie into the car and headed for the jewelry store. The street was lined with police cars, mobile command centers, and news vans. "First thing Jack, get DCPI O'Neil on the phone, tell him that the press moves back outside the police perimeter and don't take no for an answer. You can brief them bi-hourly from the border of that perimeter. Why don't you do that now?"

It was clear to Jack from that statement that Jamie was taking over now. As out of place as he felt at the helm, he couldn't help but feel a little put out by Jamie taking the reigns back so firmly.

When they finally reached the mobile command center and got out of the car, Jamie immediately requested a status update. "Have we established a dialogue?" he asked. "Do we know what he wants?"

"Commissioner Reagan," Captain George Houston greeted surprised to see Jamie at the scene. "Yes, sir, he initially demanded diamonds now he wants safe passage to the Canadian border and $500,000 in unmarked bills. No word on a motive, he's not really talkative but he is getting jumpy."

"Any casualties?" Jamie asked. "With the shots fired?"

"He won't say and he won't give us any communication with the hostages. Officer Reagan was initially providing ears with his cell phone but we lost that about twenty minutes ago."

Jamie ran a hand across his face. "All right, where is Dr. Payton? Let's get him down here to work on negotiations. He can diagnose from the earlier tapes if we are dealing with an EDP."

"Actually, Sir," Captain Houston replied. "We didn't tape the conversations, we…"

Jamie's face turned red, "You had intel coming from inside the store and you didn't record it!?" he thundered. "Turn your gun and badge over to Chief Reagan, you are relieved of this command effectively immediately!"

"Commissioner," Jack began but Jamie turned icy blue eyes on him. "You can deal with him as you see fit tomorrow morning, for now I will take command. Get me a head set, get Dr. Payton down here, and get HNT back on those phones!"

When no one moved Jamie raised his voice and ordered, "Now! Move!"

Men and women split in five different directions to do their commissioner's bidding. Former Commissioners Reagan and Gormley were not hands on in the field. In the year since he became commissioner, Jamie had proved to be much more active when it came to major police events.

Meanwhile, inside the store, Stan had done his best for Joey's injured arm and temple. He wrapped both wounds to slow the blood flow. Still, Joey was trying to get into the gunman's head. "You sure you don't want to tell me your name?" he asked. "My name is Joe, Joe Reagan. This is Stan and that lady you are scaring over there is Lauren. We're all getting to know each other pretty well. If you talk to me I can help you. Like I said, I'm Joey Reagan, my father is Police Commissioner and I know if you let me call my father he will make sure you get a fair treatment. If he won't, my mom she'll talk him into it."

The gunman looked at Joey, he did look a lot like the man he'd seen on TV. If this cop was telling the truth, Commissioner Reagan would do anything to get his son back. "Jeremy," he said suddenly. "It's Jeremy."

"Jeremy…" Joey nodded. "Listen, you have a really valuable hostage in me. Believe me, the cops aren't going to come in here shooting with the Commissioner's son inside. How about you let these folks go and you and I, we'll work something out."

Jeremy hesitated, he had a point. What good was a screechy lady and an old man when he had the heir to the NYPD throne in his grasp. Just as Jeremy was about to release them, however, the phone began to ring, high pitched and shrill. The noise in the relatively quiet store spooked Jeremy and he began to fire his gun sporadically into the air. "Stupid damn cops! I told them what I wanted! Why do they keep hounding me?"

Lauren cried out in fear while Stan covered his head and shut his eyes hoping neither of the youngsters in his store had been shot. Joey was still bleeding from his wounds but it had slowed down with the tight bandages Stan tied around them. When the shooting stopped he heard Joey's voice again. The phone kept ringing, "Jeremy you keep firing your gun like that and they're not going to listen when you try to talk to them. You want to go to Canada, get out of this thing, let these other folks go and pick up the phone. Pick up the phone, Jeremy, they will listen."

The sound of gun shots had ESU on alert and Jamie's heart in his throat. All of the action was going on inside the mobile command center. Jamie was stuck outside, being unable to climb inside the van. "Status update!" he barked at Jack. "He's not picking up the phone for HNT, we have visual confirmation that no one appears to have been shot this last time."

"Keep trying, Detective Carter, grab a couple male uniforms and bring them over here. I'm useless stuck out here, I'm going inside."

"Sir, we can get a wheelchair lift but that's going to take…"

Jamie sighed, "Detective, that's my son in that store along with an old family friend and a young woman with her entire life ahead of her. I'm not doing anyone any good from down here, so we're doing this the old fashioned way, with a couple of able bodied uniforms inside and a couple outside. You will life me up and get me in there before somebody dies."

Jamie nearly choked on that sentence. He hated to admit this fatal flaw, but he was a proud man. The idea of being carried into the mobile command center in a semipublic venue was humiliating but staying outside unable to do anything to help his son which was worse. Detective Carter returned with two very well built officers. They were both young, just on the job a couple of years, so neither one though twice when their commissioner, wheelchair bound or not, ordered them to lift him into the mobile command.

The task was accomplished quickly and in view of only a handful of photographers and TV cameras. Jamie knew he'd be the headline in tomorrow's papers or at the very least a side bar but he'd worry about that later. He positioned his chair in view of the cameras they had set up on the inside. His father's heart jerked when he saw that Joey's was hurt, right now though he was the commissioner. "Place another call and if he picks this one up, loop me in. He's a scared kid, I think I might be able to talk him down."

Jamie's talent for talking down EDPs was well know. The day he talked the knife out of Jenny Strong's hand all those years ago was legend in the department now. "Connect the doc and she can coach me if it starts to get out of hand. Put the call through."

 **A/N: Special thanks to Lawslave and Werks for helping me with one of my first action chapters ever! The next installment of this story will be posted on Thursday. Tomorrow, a spotlight piece dealing with Nikki's elopement will be posted. Please PM or review and let me know if I need to shed light on other areas. There is a story planned that will deal with Joey and Jamie's relationship that will include Joey's academy graduation and being passed over for the promotion. I hope you all continue to enjoy.**


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter Thirty Five

"Get him on facial recognition, run it until you get a name, then I want his life story, chapter and verse," Jamie told his team. "The second we get an address, get a unit over there, break the door down if you have to. Check calendars, computers, and appointment cards, see if he has anything planned after today. Check and see if there is food in the fridge, if there's evidence of a pet, is it in the house, or is there a claim tag for a boarding facility?"

"Why would we…" began one of the uniforms.

"A lot of these hostage situations are just elaborate suicide attempts," Jack replied, making Jamie very proud of him. "He's trying to get into is head, see if this is that or just a robbery gone wrong."

Jamie nodded, "Get on that now! I'm going to try to make contact."

The ringing was incessant. "Answer it Jeremy," Joey encouraged. "I know you don't trust cops, but the guys out there, on HNT, they really do care. Since my Dad took over, we all really had a lot of training on how to help people not just punish them."

Suddenly a voice came over the bullhorn, "This is Police Commissioner Reagan. I would really like for us to talk things out. Please pick up the phone and I promise that we can talk about this. No one else will be on the line but you and I."

"That's my Dad, Jeremy," Joey stated the obvious. "He's a good guy, he's really fair and I know he'll be able to help. I know he'll listen. Pick up the phone and just give him a chance."

When the phone rang again, Jeremy reached out and answered it. "You wanted me to answer, so now what!"

Jamie sighed in relief, "Tell me how you are doing?" Jamie asked. "Are you okay in there? Is everyone okay?"

"The old man and the girl are okay, pissing their pants, the cop's bleeding," Jeremy replied. "Yeah, I shot your son, you still want to be nice to me!"

"Of course I do," Jamie replied keeping his voice even though the rage was building. "I know how it can get. Sometimes life is just unbelievably hard."

"What the Hell do you know? I've seen you in the papers, you're handsome, your wife loves you, you have a family, you have a job, you have everything…"

"No one has everything…What's your name?" Jamie asked. "I'm Jamie…you can call me Jamie. What do I call you?"

"Jeremy" came the stiff reply.

"Jeremy…" Jamie replied. "My wife and I thought of that name when she was having our second baby. We always knew we wanted to call our first son Joseph after my brother. He passed away at 32 years old, he was probably my best friend in the world."

The talk continued while Jamie's team worked to get a full name on the perp. Finally it came up, Jeremy Johnson Peters. Two teams of uniforms sped to Jeremy's apartment to investigate per Jamie's orders. "It's pretty crowded out here," Jamie said. "Lots of people can hear us, that's probably why you don't want to talk to me. So I'll tell you what let's do…let me move some of these cars out of here, give us a little more space, and you let the old man and the young lady…"

"Stan and Lauren…" Jeremy corrected him much to Jamie's delight. He was identifying with his hostages as people."

"Stan and Lauren, you let them go…then you, me, and Joey we can all talk together. Do you think that would be a good idea?"

Jack watched in awe as Jamie ordered six of the ten RMPs to disburse to locations out of sight. Still, Jeremy didn't not release his other hostages. Stan looked like he might have a heart attack. Lauren had cried so hard her face was raw. Joey had to try something.

"Jeremy, look…My Dad moved the cars away, all right. He's done everything you asked for him to do. Let these folks go, I promise you I will stay, all right. I won't try to run. Just let them go, they are innocent in all of this. If you have beef with someone, we can work that out…but let them go. You don't want to hurt honest people. You don't…"

Between Jamie's act of good faith and Joey's soft but convincing words, Jeremy finally relented and let Stan and Lauren out of the jewelry story. Two teams of uniforms and medics ran in and whisked them away for medical evaluations and debriefing.

Jamie's heart swelled with pride, it was the first time he'd really worked with Joey as a team. "Way to go, Jeremy!" Jamie praised now pouring over data about the kid. He was 26, just a little older than Joey, had most of his family die in a fire when he was 9 and had been in and out of foster homes. From interviews with his super, it seemed his girlfriend had just left him and that rejection had sent him off the deep end. Jamie took a breath, "Uh, Jeremy, you know we have some pretty sophisticated tools out here. Some of my paperwork tells me you had it pretty rough growing up. I can't really relate to that part, I had my mom until I was 18, my Dad is still living…but I can relate to hard times, Jeremy. I'm doing this now from a wheelchair, and my wife…well when Joey was seven she got cancer and she's still suffering some side effects of her treatment…we never did anything to anyone either, that's just the hand life dealt us, Kid."

Jamie felt like he was talking to a brick wall. He was not getting the emotional connection he needed. He was getting incredibly tired and starting to feel the fatigue set in. Maybe he couldn't do this? Maybe he was making a mistake, one that might cost Joey his life.

The news was covering the hostage crisis, preempting all regularly scheduled programming. Eddie and Frank sat glued to the TV along with the rest of the family. "What is this?" the reporter asked. "It appears that Commissioner Reagan, who suffered a stroke more than six months ago, is coming out of the Mobile Command unit once again with the assistance of his uniform officers. It doesn't seem like his confinement to wheelchair has restricted him at all. We have learned that the final hostage is Commissioner Reagan's son, Joseph…" The screen splashed a picture of Joey on the screen.

"I'm going down there," Eddie threatened for the tenth time. "That's my son and my husband down there! How can I…"

Danny put a staying hand on Eddie's shoulder, "Because this is what Jamie wants. It is dangerous for him out there, he'll be distracted if he's worried about you. Jamie's good with these types, just give him time, he'll talk the gun out of his hand and he and Joey will be home safe."

Eddie knew Danny was right, she wouldn't get near the scene anyway and she could possibly derail any good Jamie was doing. "I just…"

Linda and Erin put their arms around Eddie, "He's your baby," Erin empathized. "I know…he's your baby, but he's Jamie's baby too. You have had such incredible faith that Jamie would get well and he's come so far, have faith in him now. He won't let anything happen to Joey."

Eddie had to agree, if Jamie did nothing else, he protected his family, especially his kids.

That was why in spite of growing fatigue he pushed his wheelchair closer to the building to get a look inside. "Jeremy, it's late. I'm getting tired, I'm sure you must be exhausted. We have the money now for your trip, the chopper is at the airport, we can't land it here, so we'll take a ride, you and I…"

Still nothing Jamie was saying was making the slightest dent. Joey could hear the strain in his father's voice, he had to get this thing ended once and for all. "What's her name?" Joey asked getting on his feet. "The girl…This has to be about a girl man, I know. Believe me I just got my heart handed to me on a plate a few weeks ago myself. And let me tell you something, they are just not worth it. If she doesn't love you…"

Jamie watched in horror as Jeremy went ballistic. He swung around trying to hit Joey with the butt of the gun. Joey managed to duck but the blood loss made him dizzy. He lost his balance and felt Jeremy's arms got around him mere seconds before the cold metal gun was pressed to his head. "You take it back!" Jeremy shouted. "Stupid pig, you take it back now!"

Jamie's heart was pounding, Joey, his little one…he had to think fast. "I'm sure your friend was worth all this," he said keeping calm in spite of his horror. "I know that is hurts, Jeremy. So does Joey, he understands too. You already know Joey is my son, so I know better than anyone that he knows how it feels to be hurt. I am sorry you didn't have a father to feel your hurt, your triumphs…"

Jamie could see that Jeremy was getting very antsy. His hands were shaking, his jaw was clenched, Jamie knew the stance, he knew the expression, he had lost his connection with Jeremy. Trying to save both lives was no longer a priority.

Jamie cut the sound feed and radioed, "SWAT, get into position. Prepare to take the shot on my order, try to keep him alive but above all else, preserve the life of the hostage."

"The proudest moment of my life," Jamie said gently. "When Joey was about eight. He was such a good athlete…strong and fast, oh boy was he fast. City championships and he hits a line drive to deep center, about 20 or thirty yards past second base…When he started to run I kept saying to myself, move Joey, move…"

Jamie prayed that Joey was getting his subtle message. Joey never played baseball but there was no way Jeremy knew that. Joey did in fact pick up on Jamie's trick. Slowly, he began to slowly turn, all while Jamie was talking. Jeremy was distracted by the sound of Jamie's voice and let himself be inched around until he was facing the door with Joey in front of him as a human shield.

"Sir, we don't have a clear shot," the SWAT leader radioed in. "We can put someone behind for a try…"

"You'll have a shot, just hold your fire until I tell you," Jamie barked and turned his attention back to his skittish gunman.

"Jeremy, I don't know what else to do…I got you the money, I gave you my word we'd take a car together to the heliport. I signed a denial of extradition myself…but you won't let Joey go yet so I just have one thing to ask you, just one little thing…" Jamie prayed to anyone who would listen that Joey remembered their code, "Please don't hurt my family."

Before Jamie finished the sentence Joey quickly elbowed Jeremy and dropped to the ground, seconds later he heard the sound of gunfire and the unmistakable groan of a person hit by several bullets. The glass crunched under the shoes of the approaching officers and medics, Joey lifted his head and got shakily to his feet. He looked back to see Jeremy was still alive but in far worse shape than he was. The first bus sped off with Jeremy in it. "You good Reagan?" an officer from Joey's precinct asked.

"I'm good, I uh, need some stitches…" Joey replied getting dizzy and tired now the adrenalin was wearing off. "My Dad out there?"

The officer nodded, "Let's go, he's right outside…" He held Joey's arm until he delivered him to Jamie.

"Joe, you need a doctor son," Jamie said softly whished his could hold his boy but from his wheelchair he didn't have the leverage. "Let's get you in a bus, I'll call Mom and be right behind you."

Joey smiled, Jamie's figure was growing hazy. "Dad…" Joey's voice was soft and weak.

"We need a medic!" Jamie shouted seeing Joey's legs start to buckle. "I need a medic now!" Two teams ran over to the Joey and lowered him to a stretcher seconds before he gave in to the pain, dizziness and blood loss, his eyes falling closed, the last thing he remembered seeing, his father's worried face.

 **A/N: Another huge thanks to Lawslave and Werks for guiding me through this and the previous chapter. I am not typically an action writer, I write romance and medical drama but things like this were new to me. Thank you ladies. I learned so much from you.**

 **This story will update again on Saturday evening, tomorrow's update will be for my post episode Jamko series, Pillow Talk. Thanks to everyone for reading and commenting. I cherish each comment and look forward to your reactions to this story.**


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter Thirty Six

Eddie and Lila ran inside the ER doors with Danny, Erin, and Linda bringing Frank behind them. Eddie went straight to Jamie and threw her arms around him, "What do you know? Is he okay? Are you okay?"

Jamie brought his arms up to hold her hands, "I'm fine. Joe is probably all right too honey, he was grazed but he lost some blood, Sean will be out to see us any minute now."

Danny reached down and clasped Jamie's shoulder, "You did good, Kid? You did really good I'm proud of you."

Jamie smiled, "The perp died on the table. He was just a mixed up kid, I really didn't want to give that order but…"

"Uncle Jamie," Sean said as he hurried out from the treatment area. "Aunt Eddie…" He greeted his grandpa, aunt, and cousin along with his parents. "Joey's going to be fine, he's getting stitched up and you can take him home. You'll need to do neuro checks on him every two hours because of the head injury but I expect he'll be up and around in a day or two."

Eddie breathed a sigh of relief, Joey hadn't been hurt in the line of duty before, it was terrifying to her as a mother to hear her boy had been shot. "Can we see him?" She had to see him for herself to be sure he really was okay.

"Sure, you can come on back and…" Sean stopped as three uniformed officers walked into the ER. One he recognized as Joey's partner, Annie.

"Commissioner, Detective Reagan," she greeted passing her hat from one hand to the other. She knew that Joey had probably told them about his their ill-fated discussion. "I heard about what happened but command didn't tell us which hospital until…How is Joey?"

Eddie glared at her, "My son is resting and he needs peace and quiet right now. I'll tell him you stopped by."

Jamie looked at Eddie's face, it was set firm and hard. "Eddie, they are partners and friends, it should be up to Joe." Jamie didn't want a big scene in front of the other officers.

"We're going to see him now and we'll let him know you are here," Jamie told Annie. "If he's feeling up to seeing you, you're welcome to visit him here or at home."

Sean led Jamie and Eddie back, "He's a little woozy and very tired but he is going to be fine."

Joey was lying on the cubicle bed, his arm in a sling and a bandage around his head. His arm felt numb but his head throbbed especially with the lights over the bed. Still he smiled when he saw Jamie and Eddie come around the privacy curtain. Jamie moved to the side of the bed and touched Joey's leg through the covers while Eddie began to stroke his hair, "Are you all right?" she asked quickly. "Do you hurt?"

"Mom, I'm fine…" Joey grimaced as she fussed. "I'm a grown man, don't pet me."

"You are a grown man, but you are still my little boy and I'll pet you if I want to after you get shot," Eddie demanded. "Sean says you can come home soon, you can rest in your old room upstairs."

Joey smiled, "Thanks Mom, but I'm really okay. I have a thick skull. My arm feels kind of numb, you'd know about that right Dad?"

Jamie nodded, "It's a very odd feeling but I'm sure it's just temporary. I didn't get to tell you how proud you made me out there."

"What were you doing at Markman's anyway?" Eddie asked. "You weren't on duty, you didn't roger a call."

Joey had to think fast as not to ruin his Dad's surprise, "Lila's wedding, I wanted to get her a pin for it. I didn't get to order it yet when the robbery happened. How is the guy? Jeremy?"

"Died on the table," Jamie replied. "We did our best, Joe, that's all we can do. I don't want you to feel guilty about it, all right. I gave the order, you just did what you had to do."

Joey groaned, "He had potential to be helped, he was human inside, not like some of the animals on the street."

Jamie nodded, "It came down to you or him Joe, and you know that was not a choice for me as a Commissioner or as a father."

Eddie saw Joey's eyes getting heavy, "Sleep now, Dad and I will be right at your side to take you home. Your sister and some friends are outside, we'll let them see you at home okay?"

Joey nodded, he knew the only other person he wanted t see besides his sister would never have come, not after what happened. He let his eyes drift closed and his body float away under the effects of drugs and blood loss.

"We got lucky today, Jamie,' Eddie sighed as she watched their son sleep.

"Yeah, we did. It was a disaster area down there, people tripping all over each other, no one using their brains…Jack has a long way to go before he's ready to be a leader of the department. It's such that I have to discuss appointing a different successor or reconsider my decision to retire."

"Jamie, you told me that once you proved to yourself and everyone else the stroke didn't inhibit your ability to lead you were going to retire, you promised me that,' Eddie reminded him sharply.

"I know I did, honey. But I might have been premature in that choice. We are both too tired and emotional to deal with this now, let's just rejoice in the fact that our son is alive and he's not hurt too badly." Jamie reached over Joey's legs and captured one of Eddie's hands. "Let's just focus on that for now."

Eddie turned her attention back to Joey, while Jamie pushed himself to the waiting room. "He's resting now and can go home shortly. Lila if you want to go back and sit with your Mom I have to speak to a few officers. Annie, I know you want to see him, you're welcome to stop by the house tomorrow."

Lila headed back to Joey's room while Jamie discussed the aftermath of the shooting with Jack and the support staff. "I'll hold a press conference in the morning alongside the Chief of Department to address the shooting death and my involvement in that death," Jamie replied. "I'd like you to keep the press away from Eddie and Joe, our family relationships should not have anything to do with this case, and the fact that Joe is my son should not have any bearing on anything."

Jamie's team was busy taking notes from him as if he never left. Danny watched as his son and brother put their heads together. He was so proud that Jamie had chosen to groom Jack for the big office on the fourteenth floor. He couldn't be prouder of his sons, now they just needed to find nice young ladies and make him a grandpa before his 20 year old niece did that same for his younger brother.

A few hours later Eddie pushed Joey's wheelchair while Lila pushed Jamie's. Joey fussed that he didn't need all the fuss and the fanfare but the hospital insisted. Danny drove Joey home with Eddie, Erin, Lila, and Linda while Frank and Jamie hopped a cab. When Eddie got Joey inside she ushered him upstairs. "I'll clean you wounds and you can lie down. Make sure you take the medicine that Sean prescribed."

"Yes, Mom," Joey sighed. "I really am okay, it's Dad you need to fuss over working so hard for that long."

"I will give your father plenty of fuss, trust me," Eddie assured Joey. "You know lots of people are going to want to visit you, so...you just tell me who you want to keep away and I…"

"She's still my friend, Mom," Joey replied getting into the bed Eddie just unmade for him. "I know you're upset at her for upsetting me, you're my mom, that's your job, but she's my friend and my partner, we have to work it out."

Eddie nodded as she heard Jamie and Frank return. "Get some sleep, if you need us, you just call out. If Dad and I don't hear you Grandpa or Lila will come get us. I love you." Eddie kissed Joey's head and made sure his arm was properly elevated before going downstairs to tend to Jamie.

When Eddie entered their bedroom, she found Jamie had laid out his grey suit. "I'm going to need you to help me with the tie tomorrow, honey. Lou thinks if I hold a joint conference with Jack tomorrow it will put everything to rest. We need to do that for Joey."

"Jamie," Eddie replied as she sat down on the bed. "I am going to ask you this once and I would really appreciate an honest answer. Are you starting to think about not retiring in the fall?"

Jamie turned to Eddie and sighed, "I am starting to think that I was making too many decisions too fast, I have decided I need to think about it some more before making a final decision. I want to have time with you, I want to travel and enjoy our grandchildren when they come but I don't think the city is safe just yet…I don't think Jack is ready, I think he needs more time."

Eddie sighed, "Who said that Jack has to succeed you? The mayor can appoint someone else…"

"It's important to me that someone who has the same ideals as I do follows in my footsteps. Joe is too young, it has to be Jack, for my peace of mind!"

Eddie nodded, this was not an argument to take up tonight, she would address this with Jamie many times in the future she was sure of it.

When Eddie awoke with Jamie the next morning, they were both surprised to find Joey and Annie having coffee in the family kitchen.

"I know Ann," Joey said smiling at her gently. "I don't want to lose that either. I guess I just felt that I had to be honest with you and myself to keep our friendship. I have to admit part of me thought you might have felt the same."

Annie blushed when she saw Jamie and Eddie enter the room. Joey turned, "Hey, Annie had an early tour and asked to stop by. We are going to run to the corner or some breakfast, can we get you anything?"

"No, I'm heading to 1PP for the press conference," Jamie replied. "Don't stay out too long, you need to rest your head, all right?"

Joey agreed and left with Annie for a meal before obeying his father and mother's request to come home and rest.

 **A/N: So Joey ended up relatively okay and he and Annie have patched things up for now. Big surprises coming as we wrap this story up. Seven more chapters to go. Looking forward to your reactions to this and future chapter as we draw closer to the end of the story and Lila's long awaited wedding.**


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter Thirty Seven

Joey was home for a week and on modified assignment for another two before being released for duty. The experience didn't seem to have much of an effect on him, he went back to work as gung ho as ever to go back in the RMP with Annie by his side. Joey had not forgotten his ill-fated declaration of love, but decided with Jamie's guidance to let it go and focus on a friendship and partnership that worked.

Privately, Jamie continued to contemplate returning to work for more than just a short time after he was cleared medically. The hostage crisis and press conference had wet his appetite to be back in his big leather chair at 1 PP, but first he had to show his wife and his family he was ready to be out of his wheelchair.

Exactly one month after Joey's heroic efforts at Markman's jewelry store and one month and nine days before Lila's wedding Jamie decided it was time to show Eddie what he, Joey, and Frank had been working on so diligently and privately the last few months.

Eddie woke up and reached out for Jamie. It had been their routine for over nine months that she would wake him, help him use the toilet, get ready for the day, and get into his chair. This morning, she woke to the smell of coffee, bacon, and French toast, a cool, empty bed and abandoned wheelchair.

"Jamie!" Eddie called out with marked anxiety in her voice. "Jamie! Joey!"

Eddie pulled on her robe and rushed to the kitchen. Perhaps something horrible…She gasped and covered her mouth with both hands when she saw Jamie, standing with a pair of forearm crutches, working on a simple but favorite breakfast. "Jamie! Oh my God! You…Lila! Frank!" Eddie hurried to her husband. "How are you…?"

Jamie turned to Eddie with a 1000 watt smile on his face, "Joey and I have been working on it for almost three months now. Dad too…those extra-long walks…" Jamie looked deep into Eddie's eyes. She had tears running down her cheeks as she put her arms around her husband giving him a full and proper hug for the first time in a very long time. She fit perfectly in his arms, her head on his chest just above the knot of his robe. "Oh Jamie…" She stroked his face as they both cried happy tears.

"I promised you I'd come back to you, baby," Jamie whispered in her ear. "Check it out." Jamie stepped back from Eddie and did a full lap around the kitchen leaning on the crutches but taking full, complete steps. Eddie's hands again flew to her mouth as she quietly cried for joy.

Lila had been in the shower when her mother called out for her. She headed downstairs and into the kitchen as fast as she was able. She gasped in shock and delight when she saw Jamie making his lap around the kitchen table. "Daddy! You're walking!" she squealed and rushed at her father throwing her arms around his middle nearly knocking him over.

"I told you I would, Kitten," Jamie laughed hugging her tight. Joey chose that moment to make his presence known.

Eddie heard his laughter and turned to see him smiling ear to ear, "You look so much like your father when you smile that way," she replied. "I can't believe you knew about this…." Eddie turned around and heard Frank chuckling. "You knew about this too?"

"I caught them a few days in," Frank admitted. "Jamie just needed a different style of therapy. Joey got him up and around pretty quickly.

Lila was still clinging to her father, "Daddy, does this mean that you can walk me down the aisle?"

Jamie smiled down at her, "That is exactly what it means, Kitten and dance with you and your Mom, though I still have two left feet."

Eddie laughed, "You've been on your feet a little while now, maybe you need to sit down and I'll finish…"

"No, no…I am making breakfast for my family," Jamie replied. "You all sit down I'm going back to work. Joe, pour the juices please…"

Breakfast for that small branch of the Reagan family was a celebration. "To Jamie!" Frank declared. "Just as tough as the day you graduated the academy. I'm proud of you."

The family clinked orange juice glasses and dove into the meal Jamie had prepared. His leg was sore and he was a little tired but he felt like he finally turned the corner and a complete recovery was in sight.

After finishing his plate Joey pushed his chair back, "I've got to go, I need to pick up Annie before tour and give her a lift." Joey dropped a kiss on Eddie's cheek and clapped Jamie on the back, "Good show there, Dad, but we need to get you on a cane before the big day, be ready to work your butt off later."

"You got it kid, keep your head down," Jamie warned reaching for his crutches to start cleaning up.

"Oh, no, Dad, you cooked Mom and I will clean this up," Lila said quickly. "Don't overdo it okay?"

Jamie promised not to push himself too hard then looked up at Frank, "What if you and I take that walk today? I know Eddie and Lila have a big meeting with Linda and Erin later on to finalize the song list and seating chart."

Frank smiled, "Did Joe decide on a date yet?"

"Yeah, yeah he did," Jamie replied. "A very nice girl from the 3-2 office, Debbie something. Pretty girl but I hear rumors that that red head of hers in no lie…He might have met his match there."

Frank laughed, "Joey shows his temper only sometimes, other times he's more like his mother which means he keeps a level head in the rough spots but he carries a grudge."

"Eddie doesn't carry grudges, Dad, not unless you really hurt her and let's face it, her father, he really hurt her. He's the only one she really held a grudge against."

"What about Erin?" Frank asked as he and Jamie slowly walked around the block.

"What about Erin, Dad?" Jamie asked. "Most of that Eddie put aside and the rest of it she asked for. Anyway, it's made up now and they have all been playing nicely together working on the wedding plans."

Frank agreed that the last few Sunday dinners had been calmer and the wedding plans much more productive, it seemed that the rough patch had passed.

By the time the men returned to the house, Eddie and Lila had the breakfast cleaned up and seating charts spread out. "We can't put PD and FD that close, Steven is afraid that his friends and Joey's friends will get liquored up and start trading barbs at each other Mom. Joe says the lost some respect for Dad and our family since the stroke, they won't listen to him as well."

"Well," Jamie said as he walked into the kitchen. "We will just have to see about that. I'm going back to work part time after the wedding, we'll put the word out on that and that I'll be watching."

Lila smiled, "I'm sure Joe will make that pretty clear, he was fit to be tied when he heard that news."

Jamie laughed, "When we made up we really made up huh. Don't you worry, Lila, you'll have a very nice wedding. Just keep the smoke eaters on the other side of the second cousins and we'll be just fine."

Lila laughed and moved the six tables to the far side unable to keep herself from laughing.

Jamie and Frank spent the day chatting and talking staying as far away from the women as they possibly could. They kept hearing them laughing as they worked to get everything ready for Lila's wedding.

That night, Jamie put himself in bed for the first time since his stroke. "It hurt to pretend that I needed you to do so much," Jamie confessed. "But I wanted to surprise you and I didn't want to do it until I was getting around well on the crutches."

"I understand, honey," Eddie replied as she moisturized her arm and legs. She went over to her jewelry box and reached in to find her rings. She was trying them periodically to see if the treatments had made it such that she could get them back on. It has been a while since she had thought of it with Joey's recovery and Lila's wedding occupying her mind. She gasped when she found them gone.

"Jamie, have you seen my rings? My wedding rings aren't in here." Eddie began searching frantically.

"Eddie, I'm sure you just misplaced them, honey. Don't worry about that now, we need to talk a little bit."

Eddie kept searching as she listened to Jamie speak, "I feel like it's time for me to get back into life, honey and I mean going back to work part time to start winding up my time. Right now I think it's still right to retire but I have some things to do before that, mainly seeing that my son gets his rightful promotion and that all of officers have a secure training budget and safety classes. Those were my babies and I have to…Eddie are you listening."

She turned to Jamie with tears in her eyes, "They were right here! I don't know what happened…"

Jamie reached out his arms for her, "It's all right, I will help you look, okay? If we can't find them, I'll get you another ring."

"It won't be the same, those were the rings you put on my finger the day we got married." Eddie sat down on the edge of the bed and let Jamie hold her.

"The rings aren't as important as the words we said that day," Jamie murmured rubbing her back. "And we kept those in spades. That's what really counts."

Jamie smiled to himself thinking of the second surprise he had planned for his wife. He had to figure out how to stall her for the month, but if he could pull it off, it would be more than worth the wait.

 **A/N: And there you have it…Jamie is walking with the help of his son and his father. An accomplishment of three generations of Reagan men. He will accompany his little girl down the aisle. How will the wedding go? Can the NYPD and FDNY behave? Will Jamie make it all the way down that long aisle at the church? What is in store for Joey?**


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter Thirty Eight

"Oh, Eddie, you look beautiful," Jamie said with a smile as he accompanied Eddie and Lila to their last dress fitting. The wedding was only six days away now and it was most definitely crunch time.

"How does it feel in the sleeve, Mrs. Reagan?" the seamstress asked Eddie. "Still pulling tight?"

"No, it feels great, not too tight at all," Eddie replied.

"It really does look perfect on you, Mom," Lila replied. "Did you decided if you want to wear your hair up or down yet?"

"I think up," Jamie said offering an opinion he usually kept to himself. "I think it will make the dress look more elegant and well…" He raised his eyebrows at Eddie making Lila blush.

"If you two are going to act like you did last night at the rehearsal dinner, you can stay home," she threatened, almost joking. "Between you two and Uncle Danny and Aunt Linda I'm not sure who the newlywed couple is supposed to be, me and Steve or one of you two."

Eddie stepped off the podium and started back to the dressing room addressing Lila over her shoulder, "You just hope that when you and Steve are married as long as Dad and I or Aunt Linda and Uncle Danny you are as feisty. That's how you get through things like cancer, strokes, and Uncle Danny's legendary temper…love and well…heat."

Eddie didn't see Jamie blush as she disappeared into the dressing room. Next it was Lila's turn. Jamie didn't want to see her in her gown the first time on her wedding day, he was afraid he would be too emotional and have blurred vision going down the aisle. He had to be very careful when he walked because even with his brace, he still did not feel his foot firmly hitting the ground. When Eddie took her seat on the couch beside him, Lila went into the room with the seamstress. When she came out in the A-line gown, now with a full crinoline, Jamie choked up. His baby was now a bride…

 **August, 2024**

" **Mr. Reagan?" Jamie was sitting with his head in his hands, blood still covering his arms and chest from where he had held Eddie as she struggled in the back seat of the car on the way to the hospital.**

" **Jamie," Danny nudged his little brother. "The doctor…"**

 **Jamie started and looked up at the older, gentle looking doctor. "My wife? My baby?" His voice was thick with emotion, he knew he had just lost one or both of them. Jamie reached over for Danny, he needed his older brother's support when the doctor made the devastating blow.**

" **You have a beautiful baby girl," he announced with a smile. "Six pounds, nine ounces, but she's a tiny little bit…sixteen inches..."**

 **Jamie breathed a sigh of relief hearing that his baby was alive. "My wife? Tell me about Eddie."**

 **The doctor sighed, "The OB specialist is working on your wife. Her uterus is what we call "boggy" it means that it's not firming up the way it should after giving birth. That is leading to excessive bleeding which has caused your wife to fall unconscious."**

 **Jamie inhaled sharply, "Doctor, she's everything…please…"**

" **The specialist is one of the best in the area, you can come with me now to see your baby."**

 **Jamie followed the doctor on shaky legs to the nursey. He put on a gown and gloves then stepped inside. The nurse turned smiling at him with the tiniest baby he'd ever remembered seeing. She was swaddled in a pink hospital issue blanket and sported a little pink cap. "Here's your Daddy, little one," the nurse whispered as she placed the tiny sleeping infant into Jamie's arms. "She is perfect."**

 **Jamie looked down at his new daughter. She was much smaller than Joey or even Nikki had been. "Hello, baby…Lila Joy…" he whispered and raised her small form so he could kiss her head. "You are so precious. You caused a lot of chaos today for such a teeny girl." The baby squirmed and kicked one of her little legs inside her blankets. "My little princess…"**

"Daddy? What do you think?" Lila asked turning around for Jamie to see.

When Jamie got past the emotion of the moment, he really looked over Lila's dress. It was not how he imagined his little girl, his Kitten, looking in his mind's eye.

Eddie turned to look at him, "Jamie? What don't you like?"

"I don't know," Jamie replied. "She just doesn't look like the princess I envisioned when she was born that's all. She looks…"

"Daddy?! You don't like my gown?" Lila was shocked and getting very upset.

"I like it, it's just that she doesn't look like Cinderella playing dress up anymore, she looks…like a woman." Jamie turned his comments to Lila hoping to calm her before she had a bridal panic attack. "You are more beautiful than I could have ever imagined."

The consultant that had been helping her adorned her in a delicate lace veil complete with a pearl and crystal tiara that made her blonde hair shine the same way Eddie's had when they got married. The tears that had welled up in Jamie's eyes when he first saw Lila in her gown now spilled over. Now she looked like he had imagined, "Oh Kitten you are…" Jamie leaned on his crutches and stood up with Eddie putting a steadying had on his back. He worked his way over to Lila and gave her a warm hug.

"You look so beautiful, Kitten."

Lila pulled back, sensing something was off in her father's tone. His words seemed to be forced, like when he was saying something that he had to say because of his position and not because of his conviction.

"Dad, what's wrong?" Lila made Jamie meet her eyes, just like Eddie did when she had to confront him on something. "Don't you like my dress? If you don't like it maybe…"

"I love you dress, Lila, I do…I'm sorry I'm upsetting you, honey, I'm just not…I'm not ready to let you be a bride just yet, that's all. I'm not ready to let you go."

Lila stepped into Jamie's arms and hugged him tight, "I'm not going far away, Dad. You aren't going to lose me. I go farther away to go to school than I will to live with Steven."

Jamie sighed, "I know…when you have your own children you'll realize that you are never really ready for them to get their wings. Look at me, I still live with my father,' Jamie laughed. "I'll get over it, it's nothing to do with you or your dress, I promise. Come on, let's go out to lunch."

"Are you sure you are okay to be out this long?" Eddie asked as Lila stepped into the dressing room to change. "You were up and down all night last night."

"Yeah my leg and back were killing me, I'm good Eddie. This is our last week with Lila as our little girl, I want to spend some quality time with her."

Eddie nodded and the threesome headed out to Archie's for burgers and milkshakes. "So, did you two know that Joe is actually dating Debbie from the 3-2 now? I caught them kissing last night."

Jamie sighed, he knew there was no way his son was over his love for Annie yet, but it was good he was going to move on a little bit. "That's good for him," Eddie replied smiling. "Very good, it's better for him to move on to get over Annie. She has no idea what a good man she turned off."

Jamie reached over and covered Eddie's hands, she looked down at her naked and puffy left one. "We have turned the house upside down, Mom," Lila said seeing the look on her mother's face. "Maybe the fell on the floor and the vacuum got them when Grandpa let the rumba loose."

Eddie sighed, "Jamie, you promised to get me new ones."

"I will, as soon as the wedding is over I will," Jamie replied biting his lip to hide a smile. Joey now had Eddie's rings safe in the ashtray of his car.

"So I go through my daughter's wedding without my own wedding ring on," Eddie sighed. "I feel naked without it, Jamie. It's my connection to you. You're going back to work again soon but I'm not…I…"

"Wait a minute, you're not coming back with me?" Jamie asked. "Why?" He was hurt to have this dropped in his lap.

"I'm just not in it anymore. I'll be better to you at home looking after your Dad and making sure everything is perfect when you get home. You'll only be there a few months for a few hours a day until the transition is made…I think it's how I can take care of you best."

"Well, I better get on finding a new Chief of Staff right away then," Jamie replied. "No one will be as good as you were but…I respect your decision."

Lila could see a little tension between her parents but she let it go, her folks would work it out, they always did. By this time tomorrow, they'd be the happy and smiling Jamie and Eddie again ready to take on the world and her wedding as one…She was right.

By the time Eddie slid into bed beside Jamie that night most of the tension was gone from their voices. "I need you to retire, Jamie," Eddie told him to close the subject. "I really do. I can't go through this again. You worked hard to come back to me and I am so proud of you for that but I can't do this again. I can't watch you work yourself sick again and the next time maybe you don't come back to me at all, never mind all the way. I am doing this for my health, leaving the job, I need you to make the same commitment to me, to us and our family. Please, say you will."

Jamie pulled her close to him and kissed her forehead gently, "I will think hard on when I'll put my papers in. As soon as I feel things are ready for me to go, I will. Don't worry about me, okay, sweetheart. I'm better now. The wedding is on Saturday, let's focus on the good things, not what could go bad."

"Speaking of things going bad," Eddie sighed. "My father isn't going to be coming to the wedding. The nurses think his health is too fragile and he thinks that he'll draw too much attention from the press given Lila is still a high profile girl being the daughter of the Reagan dynasty."

"Eddie, he doesn't have to feel that way," Jamie assured her. "I can or Jack can handle any comments from the press. If Lila wants him there…his health should be the only factor."

"I spoke to Lila, but I left the political stuff out of it. I don't think he should come, he isn't well and the tension between our fathers will detract from Lila and Steven. It's going to be hard enough with the mix of young cops and firefighters, we don't need to add to ornery old men. It's better this way."

Jamie kissed Eddie's hair, he knew it was hard to watch a parent suffer. This decision was as much for her own piece of mind as it was for their daughter. Peter Janko had been diagnosed with bone cancer a year ago. He fought hard but it has spread leaving him in a great deal of pain and unable to live on his own. Things had not been healed enough between him and Eddie for her to commit to his care, and honestly Peter did not want that either. He admitted himself to a nursing facility, Eddie planned to visit him as soon as the wedding was over and show him the pictures.

"Honey, I'm better now. I don't need you to nurse me like I once did. If you want to take the time, or better yet have him in a facility here and not upstate…"

Eddie shook her head, "This is the way Dad wants it Jamie. He didn't let me see mom suffering, I'm still his sheltered happy girl in his mind and I can't challenge it. I don't know that I want to. I know it sounds awful but…it's his wish…I did offer I…"

"All right," Jamie pulled back sensing her upset. "It's all right, I didn't mean to open this can of worms for you, I just wanted you to know you have my blessing on it no matter what you need to do."

Eddie sighed and curled tighter into Jamie's chest, he always could talk her down from her toughest moments and had tender way of getting his point across without influencing her when he felt it was not his place. She loved him so for that, they were still a perfect match after all these years. Eddie fell asleep nestled in Jamie's arms wishing the same for her daughter when she took her vows in just five days.

 **A/N: Tomorrow will begin the wedding chapters. There are 44 chapters in all. Originally I was going to make one very long story dealing with the next phases of our characters' lives, but on further thought, I decided to make several shorter stories dealing with significant events. The next story is nearly complete and will be entitled A Healing Peace. I hope you enjoy that one as much as this. That story will be Jamie and Eddie centric. The one to follow, And Baby Makes…? will focus more on the family including Lila, Steven, Joey and his lady love…Danny Linda and the rest.**


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter Thirty Nine

"Jamie," Eddie called as he stepped out of the shower. "We're off to the salon to get our hair and make-up done. We'll meet you at the church with Joey and your dad at 2:30. Please rest before you come and please make sure your father does his treatment so he doesn't cough through the ceremony!"

Jamie yelled his affirmation as he toweled himself off. Today was the day his daughter would marry her young man, a smoke eater from the Bronx. He didn't think he would get to this point ten months ago when he laid on the bathroom floor at 1 PP having a nearly catastrophic stroke. Today, he'd walk, actually walk his daughter down the aisle. He spied the crutches in the corner of the room, if only…

"Dad!" Joey called as he arrived at the house to make sure his father and grandfather made it to the church on time. "Dad, you there?"

"I'm here," Jamie called out coming out of the bathroom, the forearm crutches clicking on the floor.

Joey headed into the bedroom, "Hey, I have your tuxedo and grandpa's hanging in the kitchen."

Jamie sat down and sighed, laying the crutches against the bed and leaned over to massage his leg.

"You okay?" Joey asked seeing Jamie's position. "You're hurting?"

"It's been cramping up all night and all morning," Jamie sighed. "Your Mom was too busy to notice thank God or she'd be fussing over me and today is Lila's day. I'm just ticked off I'm still using the crutches and I'm worried about my leg going out on me."

"I have a solution to that, lie down really quick, I'm going to rub that leg like I never have before, and we'll get you nice and loose." Joey took charge of that situation, massaging Jamie's leg for twenty minutes before washing his hands. "Hang tight, I have a gift for you."

Jamie laughed, "For me? It's your sister's wedding," Jamie called after him as he wondered what on earth Joe had been up to this time.

Joey returned with a very stylish, hand carved cane with four feet and rubber grips on the bottoms. "I got this made special for you from a guy that sells wood carvings on my beat. It's like a shillelagh but it's got four legs for balance. You can use it today and probably be sturdier than if you used just the one crutch. I think Lila will like it too."

Jamie smiled ear to ear and used the new cane to get up off the edge of the bed. He took a few wobbly steps before finding his stride. It was the perfect height, the balance in his hand was perfect, and it looked great. "Thank you, Joey. Now, I have to get grandpa moving for his medicine and Heaven help me, you are going to be typing a lot of bow ties today…"

Across town, Lila, Eddie, Linda, Erin, Nikki and Jack's new lady friend, Rita were having their hair done, alongside Lila's small but close knit bridal party. She was only have three bridesmaids in order to help Steve restrict the number of groomsmen. Eddie and Erin had simple styles, each choosing an up do, Erin's much higher than Eddie's given her hair was much longer. "I can't believe we did it," Erin said to Eddie as they sat watching the other women get finished. "And that Jamie is walking her down the aisle. I owe you a really big apology for that."

"No, you don't," Eddie said quickly. "I had no idea he was doing that, even Danny didn't know. He's still a little ticked off about it too, but from all of this, I think the best thing is that you and I called a truce and Joey and Jamie are probably closer now than they ever have been at least since I got sick and things changed between them."

"Is Joe over at your house now?" Linda asked. "Danny and the boys are on their way in case there are any issues."

Eddie gasped, "Can you send one of them to the church to make sure the flowers have all arrived. We can make sure they get to the right place when we get there."

"I'm on it, I'll send Jack, he's good at giving orders," Linda laughed. "He is absolutely thrilled that Jamie is coming back to work and that he wants to work with him to help him get ready to hopefully take over."

"Well, Jamie isn't going to be working a full schedule," Eddie said quickly. "He's gotten well but he is not well enough for that and with his blood pressure problems it is highly unlikely that he ever will be well enough to go to back full time. I have faith in Jack and I know that he is ready to rock and roll, Jamie is just a little nervous because Jack doesn't think like he does, Jack thinks more like Danny."

Linda agreed with that then called Jack to give him his job for the day. He headed directly to the church to supervise. Nothing was going to ruin this day, it was Lila's wedding but it was a day of triumph for the Reagan family as well.

"I know you don't want to do it, Dad, but if you don't do it and have a spell at the wedding I'll have to deal with my wife and I make it a point not to do that if I don't have to so start breathing."

Frank scowled at Jamie through the mouthpiece, but nonetheless he sat still and took his breathing treatment. Danny and Sean had arrived a few minutes ago and were in the kitchen with Joey. "Jamie, maybe you need to take a seat and just relax until it's time to go," Danny suggested. He was proud of Jamie, but he worried he'd overdo it.

"I'm good, I have to keep my leg moving," Jamie replied. In truth, his stomach was in knots. He was scared that if he stopped his leg would freeze, but on the other hand he was nervous that if he didn't sit down and rest that it would seize up on the walk down the aisle.

While Frank did his treatment, Jamie went back into the kitchen and sat down at the table with his son, brother, and nephew. "Where's Jack?"

"Dispatched to the church, Eddie is worried they'll botch the floral delivery," Danny replied. "I'm worried about you, Kid. Sean…" Danny nodded towards Jamie who was perspiring and pale.

"Uncle Jamie, you feeling okay?" Sean stood up and surveyed the older man. "Just sit tight, I'll get my bag."

Sean returned with his blood pressure cuff but Jamie shrugged him off, "I'm not sick, I'm just…" He played with his wedding ring, a nervous habit.

"You're worried you're going to fall," Danny said proving he still knew his little brother better than he knew himself.

Jamie looked down at his bad leg, it was shaking from the exertion he'd but it through just this morning. "This is Lila's big day, she's looked forward to this for her whole life, for the last year her life has been getting ready for this day. If I trip, stumble, I'm going to embarrass her, and I promised her that I would never do that."

Joe reached out and squeezed Jamie's shoulder, "Dad, you and I have worked out asses off for this day too. For three months we busted our butts to get you ready for this and you are ready, Dad. You are!"

"You've got to shake this off, Jamie. It was the same thing before you got married to Eddie, remember?"

" **Jamie?" Danny called out in a hushed whisper in the sacristy of St. Brendan's church. "Kid you here?"**

" **Yeah, I'm here," Jamie replied. He was seated with his head down near his knees, skin white a sheet, shirt sticking to his back as he perspired in the relatively cool church.**

" **You okay, Kid?" Danny asked going to kneel next to Jamie. "You look like crap."**

 **He sighed, "I'm about to become responsible for another person, Danny. And Eddie…she is my best friend, the only woman I have ever really loved and…"**

" **And my kid brother has pre-wedding jitters," Danny laughed. "You're going to be fine. You had Eddie's back for years before you even realized you loved her. Trust me, being a husband, it's not as hard as being a partner in the field, no one shooting at you, except if you forgot an anniversary or something then maybe…"**

 **Danny rubbed Jamie's back, "You are going to be fine, Jamie. You're the smart one, the sensitive one, the patient one, you are the golden boy! If I can do it and not screw it up royally, you've got it made."**

 **Jamie looked up at Danny and met his brother's eyes, "Eddie has never had anyone that she can really count on. I'm scared I'm going to let her down. I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to fail her, I love her."**

"Yes, Joey, your old man was a regular sap, he was as shaky as a newborn colt," Danny recalled laughing. "But I got him out there, he held up just fine. And you will again!" Danny slapped Jamie's back. "Cause you want it that damn bad."

"Oh it's perfect," Eddie smiled as she surveyed the large bouquets of flowers, the sashs and ribbons along the pews, and the elegant bunting draped across the alter. "Jack, you did a great job, you can head over to the house and finish getting ready." She gave her nephew a warm hug. "Nikki, can you just keep an eye out for the photographer and send him back when he arrives? Erin and Linda I'm going to need your help getting Lila into her gown so she doesn't mess her hair."

Nikki took her post by the church door while Eddie, Linda, Erin and Lila headed to the bride's room. Eddie helped Lila into her crinoline and bustier "Hold your breath while I get you settled in there," Eddie laughed. "I remember this on my wedding day. Let me tell you one thing sweetheart, there is an upside to reconstructed breasts, they stay where you put them. There…" Eddie stood back. "You look beautiful even in your underwear. Let me get my dress on and we'll finish getting you ready."

Eddie slipped into her navy blue gown and slid the jacket on. It fit perfectly even on her bad arm. She slipped on her beige and navy swirled shoes and looked down at her naked left hand. It hurt not having her rings on her fingers, but this was Lila's day. She would have Jamie by her side when there was a risk less than a year ago that she could lose him. That was important.

"Eddie, you look amazing," Erin smiled tucking a piece of Eddie's hair back into its clip. "I think Lila needs a word from you…she's getting a little pale."

Eddie nodded, and turned to see Erin dressed in her gown, a grey sheath dress with beading across the bodice and a sheer v-neck. "Oh Erin, you look so pretty…give me a few minutes then we'll finish getting her ready."

"Danny…" Jamie said a little sheepishly. "Uh can you help me tie my shoes? My fingers just aren't working today."

Danny smiled, "Give me your feet," he laughed. Danny knew better, he knew that shoe tying, tie tying, and working with any small object probably was out of the question for his little brother. Still, he didn't want to mention that today of all days. He tied the patent leather shoes tightly and double knotted them, "All set…your tie looks excellent…did you?"

"Joey," Jamie confessed. "My hands are shaking so bad…"

"I have the cure for that," Frank said from the kitchen door. He reached above the fridge and pulled own a stash of Finnerty's. "Sean said it was okay, special occasion," he defended when both boys almost protested.

He poured a glass for each of them and raised his up, "To Lila and Steven, to our wives, girlfriends and all the women that have enriched out lives…and to Jamie…I knew you could come back from this son and you did that in spades. Congratulations!"

"Here, here…" the men echoed and clinked their tumblers. Jamie drank his scotch in one gulp. He was still nervous about the events coming up and his ability to enjoy them or if not enjoy at least participate to the level that Lila and Eddie hoped he would be.

With the liquor consumed, Sean checked to make sure everyone had everything they needed. "Okay, truck outside, let's move out. Can't have Uncle Jamie being late."

The men left their tumblers on the table and headed out to the car. "Dad, you want your wheelchair in case you need it later?" Joey asked. Jamie shook his head, "All or nothing today, Joe."

Jamie took his time getting to the car, then smiled at his son. All the Reagan men headed to the church to take part in Lila's marriage, even if it was to a firefighter.

"Lila you look beautiful," Eddie gushed seeing her daughter once again in her wedding gown complete with beading, lace, and pearls, all the things every bridal gown should possess. "I am so proud of you," she whispered kissing Lila's cheek. "And I am so proud of the woman you have become. It seems like yesterday you were four years old taking off your tutu in dance class."

Lila smiled, her eyes slightly teary. "No, Mom," Lila whispered hugging Eddie tight. "I'm the own who should be proud, because if I didn't have a Mom like you, I wouldn't be me."

Linda had to bite her lip to stop her own tears, "Okay…we just have one more thing…Old, new borrowed and blue…"

"Yes," Erin said smiling brightly as she reached into her purse and pulled out a delicate lace handkerchief. "Something old…this handkerchief came from Ireland with your great great great grandma Maureen…Every Reagan bride carried it on their wedding day." Eddie smiled, she knew how special the handkerchief was to the family.

"Something new…" Linda reached into her tote bag and pulled out a pair of delicately trimmed ballet slippers. "Trust me, these will be your friends today."

"Something borrowed," Nikki piped up handing her cousin a pretty pearl enhanced wrist watch. "And I need it back…"

"And something blue," Eddie finished as she handed Lila a blue and white lace garter. "I wore just like this when I married your dad…happiest day of my life except when I had both of you kids…" Eddie slid the garter up Lila's thigh. "Now you are a bride. Do we need anything else?"

"Just the men," Linda laughed as the bride's room door opened to reveal Jamie in his tuxedo leaning on his new cane.

"Oh, my so many beautiful women in one place…" He walked over to kiss Eddie the look at Lila taking both of her hands. "Are you okay, Kitten?"

She nodded, "I was nervous but I'm not now…I am really ready to do this Daddy."

"Okay then, it's just about three o'clock…let's get this show on the road…" He took Lila's arm just as the coordinator began to call out for the mother of the bride. Erin and Linda hurried to take their seats as Eddie gave Lila one more kiss. "I love you, hold on to Daddy tight. I'll see you up front."

Lila nodded and watched as Eddie escorted by Jack began to walk down the aisle to the processional song she'd chose, Trumpet Voluntary. Lila took a deep breath as she watched her attendants follow her mother. Seconds after her Maid of Honor stepped out the doors closed as she and Jamie took their position. She took a deep breath and felt her father holding her tight, "If you change your mind we can still make a run for it," Jamie joked to lighten the mood.

"I'm sure, Dad…I love you so much…and I know how hard you worked to be next to me today…"

Jamie gave Lila a soft kiss on the cheek then adjusted her blusher just in time for the door to open and the strains of the wedding march to play. With infinite care and calculation, Jamie and Lila took the 48 slow and careful steps down St. Catherine's aisle towards her new life.

 **A/N: Here is the first of the wedding chapters. There are three more of those left and then two final chapters. This story will update on the following days approximately 10:30 – Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.**

 **Pillow Talk will update during the day on Saturday and Sunday. I will not be posting anything this Friday, I will be out of pocket all day.**

 **My new story, A Healing Peace will be posted on Wednesday, March 23 and update every other day.**

 **Thanks to all who have read and reviewed. I looked forward to your comments on the wedding and few more of Jamie's surprises.**


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter Forty

As they walked in a slow and stately manner down the long aisle of the church, Lila looked up at her father and whispered, "Slow down, it's not a race. Is it okay, your leg?"

The smile never left her face even as she said the words. Steven was standing at the end of the aisle in his dress uniform, smiling ear to ear. "I'm fine, Kitten," Jamie replied. "Leg is stiff but I'm okay…don't you worry."

They took the final four steps to the alter. The music stopped and Jamie and Lila also halted. Jamie stood proudly with Lila still on his arm, she was his for a few more precious seconds.

The priest stepped forward, the same priest that had baptized Lila and Joey, Father Conti. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God and in the presence of these witnesses to join together Lila Joy and Steven Andrew in holy matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted by God, signifying unto us the mystical union which exist between Christ and his Church; which holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with his presence in Cana of Galilee. It is therefore not to be entered into unadvisedly, but reverently, discreetly, and in the fear of God." He paused and looked up at Jamie, "Who gives this woman in marriage?"

Jamie looked at Lila, her life flashing before his eyes, from her harrowing birth to her stripper phase, to every piano lesson to her high school prom, his baby was grown…a woman. "Her mother and I do," Jamie replied his voice a hint higher in pitch than usual.

Jamie turned and sat in the pew beside Eddie. Their hands intertwined. "Are you okay?" she whispered. Jamie nodded, he didn't trust his voice. He held Eddie's hand tight for strength as the priest continued with the ceremony.

Eddie laid her head on Jamie's shoulder as Joe walked up to offer the first reading. Steven had asked him to be part of the bridal party but he had politely declined, "Nah, the only cop in with a bunch of hose jockeys, I just can't see that happening," Joe had declared at one Sunday dinner.

Steven's cousin, Autumn, who was also working for the fire department, in dispatch did the second reading. Eddie felt Jamie getting fidgety against her. "Are you okay? Are you sore?"

"No, I'm okay, leg's cramping up a little bit, that's all." That wasn't all, Jamie had to reach his pockets in the next little while and the way Eddie was draped, he couldn't do it. "Can you just up so I can stretch a little?" he whispered, neither took this eyes off their daughter.

Father Conti began his homily after reading the gospel Lila and Steve had chosen. It was about the sanctity and sacrifice of marriage, suddenly Jamie felt the Father's gaze on him. Lila and Steven, all of us gathered here today, your families, relations and friends are delighted to be able to share the happiness of this day with you. All married couples here today have an added reason for joy today, because Steven and Lila, the occasion of your wedding today sparks off memories of their own weddings and reminds them of the commitment they've made to each other and that their marriage is a sacrament blessed by God, and so Steven and Lila your wedding here today is a reminder to them to cherish and foster their own marriages, to seek God's blessing on their own marriages once again today."

Jamie looked down into Eddie's eyes. They had been tested many times in their marriage, her illness, money troubles, a continuous tension between their fathers, his own stroke…but they had made it through because of the power of the love the Father was speaking about as if he had experienced it himself. Jamie realized, as he looked at Danny and Linda, Steven's parents, Nikki and her husband Colin…he had, through all of the families and unions he'd blessed or seen grow in his years as a priest.

"We discover something amazing when we consider God's love for us. Not only does God love us but God has to teach us how to love him. There is a sense in which it takes a long time to learn the true meaning of loving God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. Just look at the disciples in the Gospels. How long it took them to learn. There is a sense in which it takes a long time to learn the true meaning of the first commandment, to have no strange gods in our life. Something similar could possibly be said about the love of two people united in the sacrament of marriage. Sometimes it may be necessary to learn to love in a new way in marriage. The one whom you love in marriage may sometimes have to teach you how to love properly. Love matures in marriage. Love grows in marriage. This will happen in a very special way if, as we pray, God will bless you with children as you are open to God's gift of new life. Maturing in love and being taught to love by the one whom you love is surely what the Gospel reading from St. Paul to the Romans intends, that you chose for this wedding Mass."

Eddie looked up at Jamie's face. It was no longer the smooth canvas it once was. He had wrinkles forming now, just around his eyes, but enough to show he'd aged. His hair was greying at the temples and some silver showed up along the crown of his head when she brushed her fingers through it. Still, she loved him. The way she loved him had changed. Yes, there was still passion and heat, but the respect, the security, and the protectiveness she felt for him had grown daily since they said their "I dos" at St. Brendan's.

Father Conti went back to the alter and stood before Steven and Lila, "My dear friends, you have come together in this church so that the Lord may seal and strengthen your love in the presence of the Church's minister and this community. Christ abundantly blesses this love. He has already consecrated you in baptism and now he enriches and strengthens you by a special sacrament so that you may assume the duties of marriage in mutual and lasting fidelity. And so, in the presence of the Church, I ask you to state your intentions:

"Steven and Lila, have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?"

"We have," they replied in unison, almost sounding like one voice.

"Will you love and honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?"

Again the replied in the affirmative, their voices showing true conviction.

Finally, the question that had once caused some tension between Jamie and Eddie. She was more religiously free than Jamie and had, for a time, wished their children to be as well. "Will you accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"

It did no such thing for Steven and Lila, they both replied, "We Will." Lila's eyes were twinkling.

Eddie turned and cupped Jamie's cheek, she placed a soft kiss there, an admission after all these years, their choice had been right.

Father Conti continued, "Since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and his Church."

Steven and Lila joined hands and turned to face each other. Steven took a deep breath then began to speak firmly and slowly, a man who was entirely sure of his decision. "I, Steven Andrew Tenney, take you, Lila Joy Reagan, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life."

Lila bit her lip, a nervous habit and whispered in a choked voice as the tears welled up in her eyes, she said, "I, Lila Joy Reagan, take you, Steven Andrew Tenney, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life."

Frank looked over at both of his sons, each had chosen well in their life mates, strong women, capable of withstanding their stubbornness and their tempers. What Father Conti said next was very true indeed, "You have declared your consent before the Church. May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with his blessings. What God has joined, men must not divide."

All of a sudden it was upon him, it was time to exchange rings. Jamie had carefully plotted this moment with Joey and his dad weeks ago. Father Conti began to speak again as the Maid of Honor and Best Man handed him the rings, "Lord, bless and consecrate Steven and Lila in their love for each other. May these rings be a symbol of true faith in each other, and always remind them of their love. Through Christ our Lord."

As Steven took Lila's hand into his own, Jamie did the same with Eddie's left hand. In his own hand he held her rings, that had she had not been able to wear for many months. As Steven spoke his piece to Lila, Jamie echoed the same words in a hushed voice, "Edit, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." As he did on their wedding day, Jamie raised Eddie's hand to his lips and softly kissed the gold and diamond bands gracing her small hand.

Eddie's eyes were misted over when Lila spoke to Steven, "Steven, take this ring a sign of my love and fidelity In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

"Jamie…" she whispered. "You…how…"

"This is why Joe was at Markman's that day. I had them sized up, I don't want to see you hurting anymore when you look down at your hands."

Eddie smiled and reached over to kiss Jamie's cheek. She didn't hear the Intercessions or even her mother's name being read in the Mass. She felt like a bride again herself with her beloved wedding rings safely on her finger. They weren't just pretty pieces of jewelry to her, they were a symbol of the home she and Jamie created. That home had been threatened this last year with his being so ill…she had needed the security of this gift he gave her. A gentle tap from Erin brought Eddie back in time for her to hear the final blessing over her daughter and soon to be son-in-law.

"For as much as Lila and Steven have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and there to have pledged their faith each to the other, and have declared the same by the joining of hands and by giving and receiving rings: I pronounce that they are husband and wife together, in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Those whom God hath joined together let no one put asunder. Will you now seal your vows with a kiss?"

Eddie felt Jamie's shoulders jerk as Steven lifted her blusher and placed a lingering albeit chaste kiss on Lila's lips. The assembled congregation applauded as Father Conti proclaimed, "Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my honor to present to you Mr. and Mrs. Steven Tenney."

As the rest of the room exploded into thunderous applause and the Recessional March began to play, Eddie wrapped her arms around her husband. He felt as if he had missed a lot of this last year of Lila's life and now it was really hitting him their little girl was a married woman who was make a home of her own, even if it was just six blocks north and two blocks east. "It's all right," Eddie whispered. "It's all right, Jamie. Take a breath, you don't want he to see you upset."

Jamie bit his lip and wiped his eyes as Lila passed the family's pew on her way up the aisle this time on another man's arm.

As Jamie and Eddie headed up the aisle arm in arm, Eddie felt he was really leaning on her and his cane for support. She would have him rest during bridal party pictures and seated for the pictures with the family. Eddie's smile rivaled Jamie's 1000 watt grin that day with pride in her husband and in her daughter. The wedding they had all worked to make so special was now half finished, and so far, things were going beautifully. This was one of her proudest moments as a mother…and as a wife.

 **A/N: Hope you all enjoyed being present for Lila's ceremony. It's been a few chapters since I gave a shout out to Lawslave for her constant support and advice in the production of this story. Next up – Lila's reception and a few more triumphs and challenges for Jamie. I will be sad when this story is ended but there are many more to come.**


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter Forty One

After shaking countless hands on the receiving line, Lila and Steven along with their bridal party and family headed back into the church for pictures. Jamie's face was set in stone, his leg throbbing and cramped. "Eddie…" he said as they turned to go back inside. "I need Joe…or Danny…It's not going to hold."

Eddie automatically locked her arm, "Joe! Danny!" She didn't want Jamie to take a face plant in the aisle of the church. She knew how badly he wanted to dance with their daughter,

Danny and Joey both hurried over to Eddie, "He says his leg is going out, can you help him into the pew and get it elevated? This happens when he over does it." Eddie sighed, she didn't want this for Jamie today or for Lila but pain was written all over Jamie's face. Danny helped Jamie to the pew while Joey scouted some pillows from the back seat of the truck and produced a tube of muscle cream.

Lila saw the small crowd forming around her father and broke away from the bridal party pictures to check on him. "Mom, is Dad okay?"

"His leg was going numb and he's having a bad cramp," Eddie replied. "Don't worry honey, he needs a little rest and then he will feel better again. Can you ask Father Conti for a pair of folding chairs? Dad and I can sit for the pictures so he can keep the weight off his leg for now."

Lila nodded but turned to Jamie first kneeling at his side, disregarding her dress, "Daddy, if you can't dance with me, then I can sit by you and hold your hand when the song plays, okay? Please don't push yourself or cause yourself pain for me, okay?"

Jamie was working hard to control his breathing, "Don't you worry, Kitten. This is your day, I just need to rest a little that's all. My leg is healing and getting better, and that's why it hurts. You go smile pretty for the camera and in a few minutes, I'll be good as new."

Lila kissed his cheek and went back to the alter for the rest of her pictures.

Joey rolled up Jamie's pant leg, "Oh, I see it. Take a breath, Dad." Joey started to rub the cream into Jamie's leg with a lot of pressure in his hands. "I think it's on the nerve and that's why it's going numb on you. Try to do some breathing, I'm going to let my hand hang out here and try to break up the knot."

Eddie sat by Jamie's head and stroked his hair, "Jamie, did you bring your chair?"

"No, I'm not using the chair, I'm going to be fine," Jamie said firmly. "The chair is home. I don't want this wedding to be about my stroke. Joe, press harder, get the knot out so I can stand next to your sister."

"Dad," Joe said a little breathless from the energy he was exerting trying to force the leg cramp to give. "You aren't even supposed to be able to walk. Lila will not care if you need your chair, you did the most important part to her."

Jamie looked at Joe, his face with the same stubborn look all the Reagan men shared. "No, not today! It's releasing, when it goes, we stretch then take those pictures. Lila will have this memory forever, maybe, just maybe the memory of the last ten months will fade."

Eddie continued to hold Jamie's hand while Danny supported his back. "What's going on in here?" Frank asked as he came inside from where he'd been hobnobbing with his old cronies from the police department, the few that were still living, Gerritt Moore, Sid Gormley, and Abigail Baker to name a few.

"I'm good, leg was just giving me fits," Jamie replied. "It's good, Joe. Help me up so I can walk it off."

Danny helped Jamie stand up and Joe held his weaker arm while Jamie took a few steps. "Yeah, it's better."

Danny glanced at Eddie, they could both read Jamie like a book, they both knew he was too tired to keep pushing himself and they both knew he would anyway.

"Dad, if you are ready it's time for our family pictures. Do you still need the chairs?"

Jamie shook his head and reached for Eddie's hand, "No, I'm good. Sorry about all that."

"It's okay, Jamie," Steven replied. "We're glad you are here and we're glad that you are feeling better. Lila is so happy."

Steven slid his arm around Lila's shoulders and escorted her onto the alter steps. Eddie helped Jamie up the easy steps and they each turned and smiled for the camera. There were family pictures with Joey, Frank, Erin and Renzulli, Lila's godparents, and a few with all the Reagans. Eddie always hated the picture portion of the wedding, it took forever and they only purchased a handful of the proofs.

Finally they were on their way over the Verrazano to the hall they had chosen after much turmoil. The party bus and family vehicles made an attractive trail as they headed for Above. The outside was decorated with tulle and ribbon in Lila's colors. Many of the guests were already enjoying a deluxe cocktail hour complete with Jamie's coveted mini lamb chops. Eddie planned to make sure he got his fill of that appetizer.

Lila, Steven, and their bridal party adjourned for more pictures while Eddie and Jamie mingled with the rest of the family and their friends. Eddie instructed the waiters to make regular passes by the table where Jamie sat down. She got him a watered Scotch and a glass of white wine for herself.

When she returned she found Jamie deep in conversation with the mayor. "We will be so glad to have you back at the helm Jamie. I think that a few days a week is a good start, Jack did a fabulous job in your absence but you're my PC, I want you leading this department as we come back from such disarray."

Eddie's eyebrows raised as she sat down next to Jamie. "Eddie, how are you? We miss you at 1PP as well."

"Thank you," Eddie replied. "But I won't be returning to 1PP, for the short interim time that Jamie will be back to work, I'm sure he'll find Detective Meyers more than satisfactory. Are you enjoying the lamb chops, Lambchop?"

Jamie blushed at Eddie using such an intimate pet name in front of the mayor, but he was more concerned about her tone than the content of her words. "Eddie, I didn't say…"

"Not today, Jamie. No more shop talk, this is Lila's day, the last thing she needs to see is her marital role models having a tiff on her wedding day, but rest assured that's what we'll be having when we get home." Eddie downed her wine. She didn't plan to let Jamie go back to work for more than a little while. He'd had a serious stroke, he almost died, she wanted him close to her.

Jamie covered Eddie's hand with his own and placed a kiss on her cheek. "Thank you," he whispered. "Don't think I didn't notice all the waiters making extra stops by this table. Did I tell you, in all the chaos today, how much I love you, Mrs. Reagan?"

Eddie looked down at her wedding rings, sparkling on her hand. "You didn't have to, Mr. Reagan. You showed me. That you thought of this and kept is a secret all this time…I should be angry that you let me think I lost them but…I know why you did that and I am so glad you chose to do it the way you did."

Jamie held Eddie's hand tighter and scanned the room, "Look at Joe." He nodded at their son who was smiling and laughing with his new girlfriend. He saw him give her a couple of pecks and was proud of how he kept her in eyeshot at all times, he taught him well. "He looks happy. I am so proud of him, he has come such a long way, just as long a way as I have in the last ten months."

"I want to get to know this girl better before I feel comfortable, but I'm happy that he's happy after what Annie did." Eddie was still smarting over Annie's rejection of her son.

The cocktail hour wound down and slowly the throngs of people made their way into the main hall. At Frank's insistence, everyone with the last name Reagan would be seated at one table even though it was going against the pattern of ten people to a table. Their family had grown so much since Jamie was born. Eddie, Jack's girlfriend, Nikki and her husband and children…his own son and new girlfriend…Eddie though insisted Lila be allowed a bride's table. The loving yet ornery grandfather gave in.

Dinner orders were placed, champagne glasses were filled and the easy listening music was played while the partygoers waited for Lila and Steven to be finished with their photographs. As the family chatted amongst themselves, they finally heard the musical chimes announcing their DJ was ready to get the party started.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the beautiful Above here in Staten Island, New York. I'll be your host for the evening, Johnny Mason from the fabulous Mobile Beat Music Services. I'd like to welcome you all here tonight to celebrate this glorious occasion and without further adieu if I could please direct your attention to the entrance way…It is time to introduce our bridal party!

The room was already cheering and clapping, everyone a little inebriated and a lot happy on the big day for two people they each loved. As Johnny introduced each of Lila's bridesmaids and Steven's groomsman and their escorts the party got louder and merrier. By the time Johnny declared, "And now…here they are…being introduced for the first time as husband and wife…please give them a nice standing ovation…the new Mr. And Mrs. Steven and Lila Tenney!"

The entire room rose and applauded, Eddie felt her throat tighten, this was the part she always felt her emotions give way. The church portion was surreal for her but this…She felt Jamie and Erin each grab one of her hands, "This part gets me too," Erin confessed.

The applause died down and Johnny spoke again inviting everyone to take photographs for their one keepsake books. Jamie, just like any father, hurried to snap that all important picture on his phone, the might have tons of prints, but he had never missed photographing one of Lila's milestones himself, he was not about to start now.

"Now that everyone is seated again, I'd like to invite the best man, David Sullivan, affectionately known to the bride and groom as Sully, to toast our bride and groom."

Sully was tall with red hair, looking every bit as Irish as his name. He smiled over at Steven and Lila before speaking. "I met Steven when he was five and I was four playing at a FDNY picnic. He came running up to me with his new Tonka fire truck and put out my little campfire. I remember the smile on his face that day when the two of us started to play together and put out other kids campfires. That day we promised each other to join the fire department when we grew up. Steven made good on that promise and while I veered from that path just a little, it's still my job to take good care of firefighters every day. I didn't think I would ever see my best friend happier than the day he got his letter that he was going to be admitted to the FDNY academy…Then he met Lila…"

Glasses began to clink as Steven leaned over to kiss his bride. Jamie and Eddie smiled at each other, their baby girl was nothing if not loved very much by her new husband.

"Steven came home to our apartment, with that winning smile on his face. He said, when I asked him why, I just met the girl I'm going to marry. They met in Chinatown buying a silk purse. Lila was there to get one for her mother and Steven was there to get one for his cousin…The way he told it they each reached for it at the same time, the last one of its kind, their hands touched and the rest was history. Steven ended up purchasing the purse and giving it to Lila on their first date later that night."

The room laughed so David waited until it was quiet before continuing. "Lila, you make my best friend so happy. You complete him in so many ways. So on this day, the first day of the rest of your lives together, let's raise our glasses and toast the new Mr. and Mrs. Tenney and wish them a happy wedding day and most of all a long, happy life together. To Steven and Lila…"

"To Steven and Lila," the room echoed and raised their champagne glasses.

Lila's Maid of Honor made a similar toast to the bride and groom before Lila and Steven surprised their guests by taking the microphone. Lila began to speak.

"Thank you all for coming today to celebrate with us. We'd like to take this opportunity to highlight four very special people in our lives. We would not be standing here today, literally, without them. They are our parents, Jamison and Edit Reagan and Joshua and Maura Tenney. They gave us live, they gave us love, they gave us their blessing and their support in choosing the path of marriage to each other…and it is our hope that we take their example and love each other the way that we've seen them love one another."

The lights of the room dimmed, and the strains of Kenny Rogers Through the Year began to play as the screen showed pictures of Jamie and Eddie from their days as partners, their wedding, the birth of their kids. There was even a picture of Eddie in a head scarf with Jamie looking at her as if she was Miss America…similar photos of Steven's parents were displayed interspersed with the pictures of Jamie and Eddie.

Thirty seconds in, Joshua brought his wife onto the dance floor and swayed to the gentle strains of the music. Jamie looked over at Eddie and took a deep breath, "Dance with me, Mrs. Reagan?" he asked. "I'm sure. I want this, Eddie. I need to dance with my two best girls."

Eddie smiled and let Jamie lead her onto the dance floor. Jamie leaned on her a little more heavily than he would have normally. They held each other close, bodies touching, listening to the chorus of a song that described their marriage if not any other…

 _ **Through the Years**_

 _ **Through all the good and bad**_

 _ **I know how much we've had**_

 _ **I've always been so glad  
To be with you  
Through the years  
It's better everyday  
You've kissed my tears away  
As long as it's okay  
I'll stay with you  
Through the years**_

Jamie kissed a tear that was working it's way down Eddie's cheek. What Steven and Lila had done, sharing this moment with their parents, had touched both couples. As the song wound down, Jamie and Eddie turned to hug their little girl and their new son while Josh and Maura did the same. Eddie held Jamie's hand as they worked their way back to the family table with Jamie sporting his 1000 watt grin. "One down, one to go," he whispered to Eddie as he sat down in his seat.

Eddie lifted Jamie's hand and kissed it, "You'll do fine…"

Jamie nodded, hearing Eddie's words and feeling the strength of her hand in his he felt like he could do anything.

 **A/N: I do not own Kenny Roger's Through the Years but I did feel that portion of lyrics in particular applied to our couple. One more wedding chapter to go! Will Jamie and Lila make it around the dance floor and if so, to what song? I'm so glad to be hearing from so many of you, I cherish your comments and am honored you take the time to not only read but send your feedback. Hope I didn't disappoint.**


	42. Chapter 42

A/N: I do not own the lyrics to "I Loved Her First," but once again I felt that including them was important to the story so that we could be with Jamie and Lila on the dance floor. Thanks to my cousin DJ John, for giving me a summary of his wedding announcements to make the reception seem real. Thanks to Lawslave for all that she has done to help with this story and subsequent stories. Also, thanks to Dorvell for suggesting I use Here and Now as a song for Steven and Lila. Only a two chapters left of this ride, but the next installment will be up by Wednesday, 3/23.

I am updating early today as there was no update yesterday. I will resume the late evening updates tomorrow. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter Forty Two

After the appetizers, a choice of arancini or goat cheese filled artichoke hearts, and pasta, a choice of primavera or ala vodka, was served Johnny the DJ initiated another round of kissing for the Lila and Steven clinking his water glass until others joined in. Once they ended the sweet kiss, Johnny spoke, "And now ladies and gentlemen we would like to bring out our newlyweds, Mr. and Mrs. Tenney, to dance their first dance as husband and wife. They'll be dancing to a great one and an old one, from 1960…What a Wonderful World by Sam Cooke. Let's them a big hand."

The song was light and playful very similar to Steven and Lila themselves. Their relationship was nothing if not fun and warm. At one point as Steven spun Lila around on the dance floor, she dropped her head back and laughed, her face glowing with happiness.

When the last chord of the music died down, Steven hugged Lila close, keeping her at his side and Johnny announced the next event. "Now joining the bride and groom on the dance floor will be the bridal party for….the bridal party dance….here's a song picked out for you from the bride and groom …Let's rock it up a little bit with Celebrate by Kool and the Gang…"

Jamie felt his heart speed up with the tempo of the music. He was all of a sudden light headed thinking he was about to be showcased. When it was Eddie, it wasn't a big deal if he faltered, but it was his baby girl on her big day. He didn't want to embarrass her.

He reached for Eddie's hand, and drew on her strength. "You will do fine," she whispered. "I promise. If you need me, I'm here, and I'll see okay." Eddie kissed his head and pushed a stray hair off his forehead. "Take a deep breath, don't let her see you are nervous."

Suddenly, it was time. Johnny was making the announcement, "And now we would like to clear the dance floor for everyone except our bride…and Lila, if you could find your dad, Jamie." Lila's eye went right to Jamie. She walked over and reached out her hand just like she did when she was a small girl and wanted him to come see a creation she'd made or play a game. "If you can't it's okay, I can just sit with you."

"Let's do it," Jamie smiled, his nerves leaving at the touch of his daughter's hand in his own. The stood in the middle of the dance floor, Jamie using Lila's hand as his cane. "It looks like we are ready for our father/daughter dance. Here's a song picked just for you dad…. I Loved Her First."

 _ **Look at the two of you dancing that way  
Lost in the moment and each other's face  
So much in love you're alone in this place  
Like there's nobody else in the world  
I was enough for her not long ago  
I was her number one  
She told me so  
And she still means the world to me  
Just so you know  
So be careful when you hold my girl  
Time changes everything  
Life must go on  
And I'm not gonna stand in your way**_

Jamie thought of just a few moments ago when he saw the two of them. Lila and Steven had blocked everyone else out. It was just the two of them, in their playful dance. If the entire room had gotten up and left, they would have continuing dancing to the music their love for each other created. Jamie knew his baby was so lucky to have found this love so early in her young life.

He remembered when she was six and had her first grade father daughter dance. She dressed in a blue and white eyelet dress that spun around. She stood on Jamie's feet night after night wanting to be the best dancer in the entire class. She proclaimed that night when they arrived she had the handsomest Dad in the entire world. She pecked him on the cheek, Jamie felt his heart melt.

 _ **But I loved her first and I held her first  
And a place in my heart will always be hers  
From the first breath she breathed  
When she first smiled at me  
I knew the love of a father runs deep  
And I prayed that she'd find you someday  
But it's still hard to give her away  
I loved her first  
**_

Lila's lips brushed Jamie's cheek as the swayed to the music. Even though their dance movements were fairly restricted by his balancing against her, this was still the most perfect moment she could have imagined with her Dad. Her mind went back to the hospital, the very first night when Jamie had been brought in. He laid on his back, monitors and oxygen tubes coming from so many places on his body. The droop of his mouth and eye was the most upsetting to Joey, but to her it was how still he was in response to her touch. Her father always woke instantly whenever she would call to him, poke him, tap him….but that night he remained unconscious, unresponsive, and still as the death she was scared would claim him. Lila moved closer and laid her cheek against Jamie's chest and sighed contentedly, happy to be in her Dad's arms.

 _ **How could that beautiful woman with you  
Be the same freckle-faced kid that I knew  
The one that I read all those fairy tales to?  
And tucked into bed all those nights?  
And I knew the first time I saw you with her  
It was only a matter of time**_

Lila loved her bedtime stories. She would run to Jamie with a new book she acquired from a book fair or her school library. Jamie often worked odd hours, but he tried valiantly to always be home to say goodnight to his kids. He remembered lifting Lila up in her footie pajamas, her hair smelling like apples and vanilla, carrying her on his hip to her ballet shoe shaped bed and tucking her into the warm covers. After a story, or two, as she usually batted her baby blues at him for a second story, Jamie would kiss her on the head and whispered, "Daddy, loves you, Kitten," before turning out the light.

As the music wound down, Jamie pulled Lila in closer and dropped a kiss on her forehead, "Daddy loves you, Kitten," he whispered in a voice hoarse with tears but full of love.

"I love you, Daddy," Lila echoed and threw her arms around Jamie's shoulders.

"Let's have a round of applause for the Lila and her father, Jamie! That was a beautiful dance…"

The wedding events continued to swirl around the family. Their main courses, a choice of Rib Eye steak with creamed spinach, Cornish game hen with wild rice, or Pan Seared stuffed Salmon with mashed potatoes, was served to the bride and groom first, then their families and friends. Jamie was glad he pushed for this place, everyone was enjoying the rooftop atmosphere, the beautiful décor, and the fabulous food.

Whenever Eddie or Jamie looked over at their daughter, they saw nothing but a huge smile. When they looked over at Joey who was socializing with his new girlfriend and his buddies, they saw nothing but tension between the police table and the fire table. Jamie sat up straighter, "Jack…take a walk over there towards the PD table and just let them know we're watching them. Too much liquor and too many egos, I don't my daughter's wedding to end in a brawl."

Jack smiled, "You got it, Uncle Jamie." He stood up and headed for the tables of police officers. Joey was lightly warning two of his inebriated comrades to cool it. "This is my sister's wedding guys…" Joey said standing up as two officers from the 1-5 went toe to toe with two firefighters from Steven's engine company.

Jack raised his eyebrows, "Commissioner Reagan is officially closing the bar for all members of the NYPD at this wedding," he spoke up.

"What? Why?" gasped Kevin Mallory from the 3-2. He was a good friend of Joey's.

"He's concerned about this little battle of wills here and the members of the NYPD conducting themselves as gentleman. You all have your girls here tonight, show them a good time…out on the dance floor." Jack raised his eyebrow at Joey to set the example.

"Debbie, would you like to dance?" Debbie Anucci was short, just about the same size as Eddie. She had fiery red, hair and bright green eyes. She was incredibly beautiful, her Irish features failing to match her Italian last name.

"I would," she replied smiling. Debbie found Joseph incredibly handsome. He was tall but not too tall, she always thought of Frank Reagan as being too big and burly…and shared his father's soft brown hair, blue eyes, and chiseled features. Still there was a bit of Eddie, in a softer nose and the shade of his eyes. The couple held hands and began dancing. Soon the other officer's obeyed and the dance floor was filled with dress blue uniforms.

Jamie smiled, "Good job, Jack. Can you do me one more favor?" Jamie whispered and Jack nodded.

First he whispered to Sean who asked Jack's girlfriend to dance, then he worked his way to the dance floor and cut in on Joey's dance with Debbie, whispering to his younger cousin. Joey came to the family table, "Mom, will you give me this dance?" Joey asked Eddie. Eddie loved to dance but with Jamie's limits she spent most of the time sitting at the table.

Eddie smiled and joined Joey on the dance floor for a face paced dance feeding into a traditional Irish jig. Even Frank joined the group for that one while Jamie kept time by clapping his hands and tapping his foot.

All too soon the festivities were winding down. Johnny announced, "Ladies and gentlemen….at this time it is time for our newlyweds to cut the wedding cake. You're more than welcome to grab your camera, and camcorder to take pictures for your memories." The very traditional song, "Cut the Cake" began to play. Steven and Lila slid the knife down into the chocolate cake with strawberry filling and buttercream icing, "Here we go Mr. and Mrs. Tenney….on the count of 3…1,2,3."

Steven and Lila fed each other a bite of cake and each smeared a bit of icing on the other's nose. Steven, on impulse, leaned over and kissed the tip of Lila's nose where the frosting was eliciting a chorus of "awws" from the on lookers. "Let's give our newlyweds a nice round of applause…. the cake will be served shortly folks and coming up in about 15 minutes will be the event you have all be waiting for, the bouquet and garter toss!"

Jamie sighed, that mean the wedding was almost over. Secretly he was glad, he was exhausted. His entire center ached, his leg was almost totally numb, and he was tired. He looked over at Eddie, "Eddie, when she tosses and they leave I need to go home. I…"

"All right," Eddie said quickly. "All right, it's been a really busy day. We'll have the car take us home as soon as Lila heads off.' She held Jamie's hand to give him strength, she had seen he was losing stamina long before he spoke up about it.

Johnny spoke up again as soon as all the cake had been served, "Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the MAIN EVENT…. the bouquet and garter toss. I will need all the single ladies on the right side of the dance floor and all of the single men on the left side of the dance floor with our bride and groom right here in the center." It took a few moments for everyone to gather. Lila planned to toss her bouquet at Debbie and Steven the garter to Joey as a little joke to her older brother.

"We need our audience here to cheer on our groom as he takes off his wife's garter … But Steven, I need to give you a few words of advice before you proceed," The Stripped began to play as Johnny went on. "You are going into the land of the unknown …. the forbidden territory …. the final frontier…. Be kind and be gentle because if you are not she will let you know for the rest of your married life. Now Steven, I think we need a little pre garter removal dance for your new wife…. everyone clap your hands…. let's go Steven…." Steven did a little mock Chip and Dale style dance before kneeling before Lila and removing the lacy blue garter from her leg.

"Now that we have our garter…. let's toss it to those bachelors…. you ready men? Now we only have one rule for you men in this garter toss…. SOMEONE HAS TO CATCH IT…. Here we go Steven….on the count of 3….audience help me out…. 1…. 2…..3…."

Steven tossed the lacy object directly at Joey who had no choice but to catch it or put the NYPD to shame in a room full of firefighters. He held up the lacy object, victorious

The music changed to Love is a Battlefield, "Alright Ladies. … now it's your turn…. Now ladies, you know the tradition that the lady that catches this bouquet will be the next one married….so there is a lot riding on this toss…. so listen to the rules…. no biting …. kicking …. pulling hair …. we want a clean contest…. here we go Lila on the count of 3 …. folks help me out….1…..2….3….."

Lila released the bouquet relieved to see it too found it's intended target. Debbie blushed heavily while she held the bouquet up over her head, the white roses contrasting nicely with her hair.

Joey stepped forward and took Debbie by the hand. She was shy and the attention was making her uncomfortable. He helped her sit in the chair and got on his knees to place the garter on her leg.

Amidst the clapping and cheering he kept pushing the lacy band higher and higher up until the room quieted down. Debbie was laughing with tears running down her cheeks by the time it was finished and Joey pulled her into his arms for a dance. He glanced at his father and grandfather who raised their glasses to them.

Slowly the festivities wound down. "Ladies and gentleman, may I have your attention please," Johnny said one final time that event. "At this time, I would like to call the bride and groom out to the dance floor so they may share the last dance before leaving the reception. I would also like to have everyone come out to the dance floor and form a circle around the bride and groom. Once again, I would like all of the guests to come forward to the dance floor to give the bride and groom a great send-off!"

A circle quickly formed. Eddie looked over at Jamie and reached for his hand. He looked up at her and shook his head, "Go on…my leg is gone. You go…" He kissed her knuckles as Eddie moved to stand beside Danny, Linda, and Frank. Lila and Steven had chosen another classic song, Luther Vandross' "Here and Now." They held tight swaying and kissing intermittently, clearly ready to leave the public arena for some time alone.

When the song ended Lila broke from Steven and went to kiss Jamie's cheek, Steven was close behind. "Thank you for everything, Jamie, really. You're being here and giving us all of this…thank you." Steven shook Jamie's hand and Lila hugged him. "I'll come see you in the morning before we leave. You get your rest, I love you Dad."

Lila kissed Jamie's cheek, "I'm so glad you loved your day, Kitten."

Lila smiled, "I couldn't love anything more."

Jamie watched her walk away on Steven's arms, and thought to himself, "My sentiments exactly."


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter Forty Three

The limo pulled into the driveway just before 11 that night. It was dark and still warm on the balmy early fall evening. "Stay still, Jamie, let me get your chair," Eddie said as she got out of the car. "You are way too tired to try to walk it in the dark."

Jamie nodded, he'd dozed off in the car on the way from Staten Island to Brooklyn. The pain in his back and both legs was bordering on excruciating. Eddie held his hand and rubbed his arm up and down gently. Quickly Eddie got out of the car, retrieved Jamie's wheelchair from the house and helped him get into. Together they pushed him into the house. Eddie removed her jacket then laid Jamie on the bed. She made short work of his tuxedo and as she had often done when he was first home or even before his stroke, let him lay in bed in only a tee shirt and boxers. "There, how's that?" Eddie asked stroking Jamie's cheek. "You want me to put your leg up on pillows since it hurts?"

Jamie sighed, "No, maybe some Advil and a glass of water. Then come to bed too. We both had a long day."

Eddie wasn't the least bit tired, she was still pumped on adrenaline and happiness from the big day but she would slide into bed beside Jamie and be what he needed her to be for him. Eddie took her hair down and slid out of her gown. Jamie watched with hooded eyes. Eddie didn't hide her body from his gaze.

Slowly she slid off her slip, rolled down each stocking, and removed her bra and panties. She stood in the light from the bathroom and watched as Jamie smiled. He reached out both arms as Eddie slowly walked over to him. She crawled into bed beside him and curled into his side. "Tomorrow my love," she promised in a breathy voice. "When you feel better and we can enjoy ourselves. We'll have quiet now that Joey moved back to the city and Lila has her own place." Eddie kissed Jamie's cheek, "We will miss them but we'll make the best of it too."

Jamie turned his head and kissed her softly. "You are still so beautiful."

"You aren't so bad yourself." Eddie laid her head on Jamie's chest and played with the sheet. "It feels really weird…to be empty nesters, you know?"

Jamie laughed, "Some days, I feel young, like I can't believe that I'm this age, you know. That I'll be sixty in six weeks. Other days I feel like I can't believe I'll be only sixty…like now. I'm so sorry, baby, I have to try to sleep. I can barely keep my eyes open."

Eddie kissed Jamie again, a gentle peck. "Rest, there's plenty of time for us to figure out the next stage of our lives. I have what I need to get through anything, you by my side."

Eddie waited for an answer, "Jamie?" Her only reply was a very soft snore, one of the only reminders of his stroke and all they had been through. When he was lying down, there were no visible deficits, when he was moving, only the cane and the limp remained as evidence. The snoring though, that was something that was likely to remain. Eddie didn't mind it, it was evidence not only of his stroke, but of his being alive. "Sleep well Jamie."

Across town, Steven carried Lila, wedding gown and all, into his apartment. "Welcome home, Mrs. Tenney," he said punctuating each word with a kiss as he carried her over the threshold. "How do you feel?"

Lila looked up at Steven beaming, "Wonderful. I couldn't have imagined a better wedding day. My father walked me down the aisle and danced with me, all our friends were there with us…I love you so much!"

Steven reached out and took Lila into his arms and tipped his head to claim her lips in a kiss. "I love you, too. I am so glad we waited for this night, for this moment…" Steven deepened the kiss, slowly working his hand up to work the zipper down the back of Lila's dress. With tender care, he removed the gown and while Lila worked on removing his shirt. Steven gently discarded the dress, laying it on the sofa. Tomorrow they would take it with them to Eddie and Jamie's for preservation, before leaving on their honeymoon.

Steven turned his attention back to his new bride, "Oh Lila…" he sighed. She was in lacy undies with his hair still up and a smile on her face. Steven couldn't keep himself contained seeing her. He moved closer, grabbed her into his arm and slowly began the pleasing task of making her his wife in more than just name.

Slowly they explored each other's body, learning what the other liked, needed, and wanted. Steven laid her down on the bed, peeling off her undergarments, while she removed his pants, leaving him in only his boxers. Steven leaned over and kissed Lila's gently, taking their connection even farther.

Not even twelve hours after being pronounced husband and wife, Steven and Lila joined their bodies, just as they had joined their lives. When it was over, Steven curled his much larger body around Lila's petite form. "How do you feel?" he whispered.

"Perfect," she replied. "Just perfect…I have no doubts from that day in Chinatown, I had no doubts, Steve…I knew this would be where we ended up…" She kissed his chin. "And started out. There's nothing we can't do together, if Heaven forbid we had to face something like Mom and Dad have, we absolutely can do it. We have that strength, we have that love…"

When the last guest had left and the final glass of champagne had been drunk, Joey pulled Debbie into his arms and dropped a kiss on her hair. "You ready go?"

Debbie nodded against him, she loved the way Joey held her. He was nearly a foot taller than her at 5'11", so she fit into his arms perfectly, her head placed just above his heart. They had only been dating a little while, but Joseph Patrick Reagan was proving to be every bit the romantic.

"Yes," Debbie replied but she didn't want to step out of Joey's warm embrace. "It was nice of you, staying until the end to say goodbye when your parents had to leave."

"My Dad couldn't take anymore, he was so tired. I'm going to head over there after I drop you off just in case he needs help at night. My mom's arm is just about getting to where the doctors are happy with it so I don't want to risk..."

"Her arm?" Joey had so far kept Debbie from the family history, preferring to still share those things with Annie. Still the quiet room, the romantic atmosphere and the reality that he could fall for the woman in his arms had his guard down.

"Mom had cancer when I was seven, she's cancer free for a long time but when they took her breasts they took over twenty lymph nodes so if she over works her arm, especially the left one, it swells up. That's why she wore that jacket today and why my dad had her wedding rings resized. After the stroke, she had to lift him and move him a lot and it caused a blockage. Her doctor says that some of that is permanent injury now but he's happy with the size and won't operate on her right now."

Debbie held Joey tighter, "I had no idea. I knew your mother and father's relationship was legendary, everyone had stories about them. But no one ever mentioned she..."

"No one will," Joey replied. "My father made it pretty clear that discussion was off limits. People can talk all they want about their love story or her working for him, taking time off with us as kids, but not that, never that. It was a horrible time for all of us, but now that I'm grown up and learning what it is like to feel those feelings, I understand it was hardest on him."

Debbie pulled back, "Are you saying what I think you are?"

Joey nodded, "I'm saying that dating you has been great, it's been a lot of fun, but I'm 25, you are 25, and dating is kid stuff. I want to get to know you better, Debbie. Really get to know you better...I want to go to the next level if you want."

Debbie nodded, "I'd like that too. I am getting to know so much more about you, and each thing I learn is more and more special."

Joey pulled back and slid his arm around Debbie's shoulders. "Let's get you home, tomorrow we can have dinner and figure out what all this means."

"I'd like that," Debbie agreed as they walked out of the hall and hailed a taxi since Danny had taken his car home when he left with Linda and Frank. Joey dropped Debbie off at her apartment then headed for the family home. It was almost two when he slipped into the front door being careful not to wake his family. He was surprised to find Eddie sound asleep on the sofa instead of in bed with Jamie. As any mother would, as soon as Eddie heard her son's soft footfalls, she woke up. "Joey? What's wrong?"

"I should ask you that," Joey replied. "Why are you out here and not in bed?"

"Dad was so tired he fell asleep almost right away and I was still feeling energetic so I came out here to watch the TV and…"

Joey smiled, "Go on to bed. I'm going to sleep over so I can be here to help Dad if he needs it and see Lila off. Uncle Danny has grandpa and he'll drop him after they go to church on the Island so we have the morning just the four, well five of us now."

Eddie smiled, "Sleep well sweetie. Did you have fun?"

Joey nodded, "Yeah, I had a good time. It was a beautiful wedding." Joey leaned over and gave Eddie a kiss on the cheek before heading up to his room.

The morning dawned bright and beautiful. Lila and Steven woke up early to make sure they had everything they needed for their honeymoon in Santa Monica. Steven hailed the cab, they were headed to Brooklyn for breakfast with Eddie and Jamie before their 2 PM flight.

Eddie was in the kitchen with Joey making pancakes, sausage, bacon and eggs. There was already fresh coffee and orange juice when Lila pushed open the kitchen door. "Hell…"

"Ssh," Eddie said hurriedly. "Dad's still asleep. I'm going to get him up when breakfast is ready but I want to let him sleep as long as he can."

Lila nodded and sat down with Steven to drink juice and coffee. While Eddie stirred the eggs, Joey woke Jamie and supervised his walking to the kitchen since his legs were shaky from overuse.

"There's my girl!" Jamie went and hugged Lila tight. "Steven…Did you both enjoy your day yesterday?"

"We did," Lila replied. "Thank you again for everything. It was just like I always pictured it. How are you feeling?"

"Sore but good, and breakfast smells fabulous…let's eat!"

Breakfast was lively, everyone's moods were still elevated from the joy of the previous day. Still the loving family gathering was ruined all too soon when the clock struck twelve and it was time for Lila and Steven to leave. Eddie and Joey hugged Lila, Steven hugged Eddie and shook Joey's hand. Finally Lila stood before Jamie, "I love you so much Daddy," she whispered. "I'll come see you as soon as I get back. I'll bring you and Mom a present."

Jamie kissed Lila's cheek, 'The best present you can give me and Mom is having a good time, Kitten. Put on your sunblock, you burn like I do, you'll ruin your trip if you burn in the California sun."

"I packed two tubes, just like you taught me," she said proudly. "I'll see you in week." Lila backed up and let Steven in to shake Jamie's hand.

"Take care of my girl," Jamie said his voice hitching a little bit. "The stroke got my left side, fortunately for me I shoot right handed."

Steven laughed lightly, "Yes, Sir. Believe it or not Jamie," Steven said softly. "Someone can love Lila as much as you do, even if it is a different way. She's safe with me. I promise you."

Jamie nodded and patted Steven on the back. "Just take care of her."

The cab arrived and beeped as Lila and Steven headed out and put their suitcases in the back. Jamie, Eddie, and Joey stood on the porch and waved at them each one of them hoping and praying that Lila got as much joy in her life as they imagined she'd have. Nothing warmed their hearts more than seeing someone they loved happy…nothing.

 **A/N: One more to go. I'm so touched by all of the reviews and views for this story. It was a labor of love for these characters and for those people that give of themselves to care for family members that have fallen ill. The Reagans do it well, I think. Looking forward to hearing from you on this next to last chapter.**


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter Forty Four

Jamie anxiously paced inside the inner sanctum. It was his first official day back on the job, and while he and Eddie had discussed his retiring, he chose to stay on at least until the end of the current mayor's term. It was his plan to keep Jack under his wing and mold him to hold the Commissioner's chair once he relinquished it.

Eddie hadn't been happy about his choice. This decision had been a major point on contention for the last month and half.

" **You promised me, Jamie!" Eddie fired as she angrily paced the length of their bedroom. Jamie had just announced at Sunday dinner, he was going back to work full time after the holidays.**

" **Eddie, I promised to consider retiring. You knew I had loose ends to tie up. I was out a long time, almost a year! I feel good, I am better, and I'm ready to get back to work. I'm not old enough to retire and just be at home. That might be right for you, your medications make you tired, you want to spend more time focusing on my dad now that his lungs are getting worse, I understand that, but understand me too!"**

 **Jamie was sitting on their bed, trying to reason with his irate wife.**

" **Jamie, you almost died!" Eddie reminded him. "You were in that office sixteen, seventeen hours a day with people hammering on you. You went to the bathroom and you passed out! You didn't wake up for almost two days. For almost two days, I had to sit and watch you lying there not knowing if you would open your eyes again and not knowing if you did open them, if you'd even be able to understand…" Eddie covered her mouth. Finally, all of the fear and emotions she'd bottled up since his stroke were finding their way out.**

 **Jamie stood up and reached for his wife, "Eddie, all right…" Jamie pulled her into his arms. "It's all right. Let it go…let it go. It's all over now."**

 **Eddie sobbed as she held tight to Jamie's waist. "I can't let you go back…if you do…"**

" **What?" he asked softly. "If I do what?"**

" **You might…and this time…" She was hiccupping and trying not to have a panic attack.**

" **Ssh," Jamie sighed. "Okay…Come sit down…" He led her to their bed and sat her down with him rubbing her back. "I know what it's like to watch someone you love suffer, Baby. I do. I promise you if it is getting too much, I will retire then and there. And I promise to delegate a lot more of the work and lean on my support staff at work and you at home. I will not work one hour more than 50 hours a week, when I was working sometimes close to 85."**

It was Jamie's voice, not his assurances that settled Eddie down but eventually she agreed to his returning to work under those restrictions.Today was a special day, not only was it his first day, it was promotion day. He would be making a speech for the first time in public since the stroke. That morning, as was common since he got sick, he hadn't been able to make his fingers work to tie his tie or his shoes. As much of the mobility he'd gained, even since Lila's wedding, his fine motor skills had yet to return. Dr. O'Shea and Sean agreed it was likely they never would.

Leaning on his cane, Jamie kept pacing, his limp more pronounced when he was nervous. There were so many things that could go wrong. He could trip, he could stutter...He heard the door open, the hinges squeaked. Jamie turned to see Eddie, dressed in a light blue suit, a string of pearls, and bone high heels step into his office. Her hair was swept into a bun and her light make up just brightened her beauty.

"I could hear you pacing out there," Eddie teased lightly. "Honey, if you aren't feeling like you can do this, don't do it. Jack can make the speech."

"I'm promoting my own son to Detective today, I want to do this Eddie. I have to. I'm not ready to throw in the towel just yet. Maybe after the election, I'll be ready to stay at home, but not yet. I'm only sixty. I can't even collect social security."

Eddie laughed lightly, "No, but you have a heck of a pension from the NYPD and the City of New York. We'll be fine but if you want to do this, I've got your back."

Jamie leaned his cane against the wall and took Eddie in his arms for a warm hug, "I love you, Mrs. Reagan. It's almost time. I want you by my side..."

Eddie smiled, "Hold onto my arm, use the cane, there's no shame in that, it makes you look distinguished." Eddie placed a kiss on Jamie's cheek and they left the office together holding one another's arms.

Half an hour later, Jamie stood at the podium where his grandfather and father stood many times. He looked to his left, Jack was seated there, in full dress uniform, to his right Eddie in her full dress along with numerous others that supported him on and off the job. As he scanned the crowd his eyes fell on Joey, his first born, his mother's pride and joy, his friend and confidant the last months working to get his life back.

Jamie began his speech, his voice was strong and even as he proclaimed his sentiments to the masses. "It is an honor to be with you today. This time a year ago, if you asked me if I would be standing here today at this promotion ceremony well, but I am here, and I'm proud to be presiding over this momentous event. A promotion ceremony is something very special. I've had the real joy of being at graduations, when we see men and women start on their career with this extraordinary police force, but a promotion ceremony is an indication of what years and years of hard work and commitment can lead to. I understand that for everyone seated here, this moment didn't come easily. It came with a lot of devotion, a lot of hard work, constant learning, and constant improvement. This is the finest police force in the world, and as you take on more and more responsibility, it is an indication of your quality – of your commitment when you go higher up in the greatest police force in the world. That is not a small achievement. It is a profound achievement." Jamie thought back to his own promotion ceremonies, he had fought long and hard for each one. He'd always felt it was unfair he couldn't get a promotion on merit because of who his father was. Now, since he and Joey had mended fences, he would not do the same to his son.

"I want to say to all the family members here, you too played a crucial role supporting these men and women as they move forward in this agency. It wasn't easy. Family members often have to inspire us, often have to stand by us. Sometimes they have to console us. Ultimately, we only get there with the help of our family. This is something that I have learned over my many years of service with the NYPD. So, I want to thank the family members for all you have done." Jamie knew he wouldn't be here without his family. It was Eddie's love and devotion, Joey's and Danny's tenacity, Frank's and eventually Erin's inspiration, that got him to this place. Lila had believed with childlike innocence that he would succeed in walking her down the aisle. She never wavered in her belief he was able to give her that dream. He owed his success to his family just as many of his officers did.

"So, you have had the toughest proving ground there is. I don't think anyone would doubt that being a police officer in New York City is the ultimate expression of this profession, and to do this work, day in and the day out, takes skill and commitment. It's never easy. You knew coming in the door it wouldn't be easy. But then to persevere and work your way up – that takes a special capacity. So, you've had to prove it. This wasn't just taking a test. This was doing the work, day in and day out, in the streets of this city, no matter what was thrown at you. And you pass the kind of test that really matters – the test of doing the work, of being out, serving the people. You prevailed on that playing field, no matter how tough it was. I hope you have a profound sense of pride today. I know your families have tremendous pride in you." Jamie's eyes found Joey in the front row, among the other officers to be promoted. His heart fluttered and he couldn't help but smile.

"I know I feel tremendous pride today, as a Commissioner and as a father. My own son, Officer Joseph Reagan will be promoted today to the rank of Detective Third Grade, as the ceremony progresses."

When Jamie finished reading the names of all the other detectives, sergeants, lieutenants, and captains, the room was filled with thunderous applause, no one though was clapping harder than Jamie himself as he watched his son, flash his own 1000 watt smile admiring the gold shield clipped to his chest.

Without a thought to the TV cameras or the other members of the NYPD in the room, Jamie put his arms around Joey and hugged him. "I am so proud of you, Joe, and I know, wherever he is now, your Uncle Joe is having a drink in your name."

Joey smiled at Jamie, they had come miles in the last year. He would never stop regretting the time he wasted being angry with his father, but he was grateful they had found each other and had the chance to reconnect. As the rest of the family came to pay him congratulations, Joey thought about what it meant to be a Reagan. It meant someone always had your back, that you always would have a place where you were welcome, and most of all you would have your family there to help you and love you in sickness and in health. There wasn't much more that could be asked of a family than that.

 **A/N: Well, that's all for this installment. Jamie is better, the Reagan family is stronger than ever, and Joey has made detective. There will be between 10 and 12 parts to this series. The next installment will be titled A Healing Peace and be published on Wednesday, 3.23. It will update every other day.**

 **I hope you all follow me to that story and through what is to come. There will be many up and downs but the Reagan clan will stand firm as they grow and change together.**

 **A huge thank you to Lawslave for being there as this story grew with advice and encouragement. Also, a thank you to all my readers. I have heard from so many of you about how this story touched you, and I'm glad. See you on Wednesday.**


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